Archive of Our Own

For Nandor his nights always look the same. A reliable routine keeps things simple, uncomplicated, and therefore safe. It makes it so he can sense anything wrong before it even has the chance to peer it's head over the horizon.

It just so happened to be added comfort that each of his nights always start and end with Guillermo, a sweet smile and a warm hand to make even the hardest of nights feel worth it, a small comfort within a comfort, one he knew he was foolish to grown accustomed to.

So here he lay, a fool by his own making, unable to rest as his thoughts ran wild, piling over one and other in a desperate attempt to be heard and trapped within his coffin, with no way to silence them, Nandor was forced to sit and listen, something he didn't care for. Each raging thought, nagging little worry let unease burrow it's way under his skin until it was shifting around his body just below the surface, making his skin crawl before settling deep within his stomach like lead.

Usually he would call out to Guillermo, ask the human to retell tales about his day to help relieve his anxieties, yet there was no Guillermo, he had left for the day, clearly still mad at him.

The lack of Guillermo and subsequent break in routine must be the root of this feeling, it has happened before, several times now Nandor has had to prepare himself for coffin. It was ridiculous. Human emotions are such a minefield to navigate, you break your familiar's phone one time, completely by accident might he add, and you loose your bedtime routine "privileges" for a week and gain the dreaded silent treatment.

Though as fickle as Guillermo's moods can be even Nandor knew it was different this time. Maybe that's why the feeling is more intense? Nandor knows he can't simply replace what he had broken, he's not sure an apology can even begin to remedy the situation. He's almost certain if he tries he'll only make matters worse and ultimately drive Guillermo further away and into some other Vampires arms; one that doesn't break his things over a cheating little game. Maybe even one who wasn't so scared he'd burn up like stepping into the sun by getting too close.

He has to try through. Once Guillermo comes back home tonight from wherever he had ran off to Nandor will greet him as he opens his coffin, take his hand and offer him his most sincere apology, even take him flying for old time sake, then they can go back to normal. Go back to Guillermo being his sunrise and sunset.

Nandor lays awake listening out for Guillermo's heartbeat, his low humming as he moves about the house, but is instead met with stillness that day light cloaks the household with. Even as night falls, engulfing the house in its shadows, Guillermo still doesn't returned home.

So he waits.

Lies there for what feels like hours before finally pushing open the lid of his coffin and disembarking, dread weighing his shoulders down and anxiety twisting deeper in his stomach like the blade of a knife, carving out the fear that Guillermo has abandoned him again.

Nandor tries his best to ignore it, drown it out with the sound of his own footsteps.

Everything is fine.

Humans just have too many emotions in their bodies and Guillermo is only short after all, it made perfect sense that he just needed a little more time to get over them all. Nandor has no need to worry, Guillermo had promised him he would not abandon him again. He was a warrior and warriors don't break their oaths, no matter how mad they are at their fellow warriors.

They're fine, he's fine, because Guillermo will return in due time, and if Nandor happens to dip his head out the front door five times every hour, well that's just testimony to how fine everything truly is.

Still the night drags on.

Guillermo doesn't return.

It takes Nadja throwing a book at him for Nandor to notice the bath he'd been burning into the rug from his incessant pacing, back and forth, back and forth, over and over. All the while subconsciously plucking at the skin around his nails until they are little more than a bloodied mess, a bad habit from his humanity that had managed to trickled through the cracks of immortality. He grimaces. Guillermo always stops him before he makes such a mess.

The first time Guillermo had witnessed his anxious habit he had caught his wrist, Nandor was certain his familiar was going to try and scold him for making such a mess of himself, if not openly berate him like Laszlo often does for the childish tendency.

Instead he silently ushered Nandor along to the tiny room beneath the stairs where he pulled out small box, wrapping each appendage with small bandaids adored with cartoon figures. Nandor, of course, had put on a show of his distaste. He was a revered vampire, he would heal in a matter of minutes, to be coddled in such a way was an embarrassment to his name!

Yet he made no move to pull away from the tender care offered up. Even when his fingers had healed only moments later he had kept the bandaids on.

When anxiety once again seeped into his fingertips and his skin clawed for release, on instinct his fingernails would bite at the fabric where skin would usually be. He had stopped himself, uncertain why but he felt as though he were sullying the very love in which Guillermo had wrapped him in.

Looking down at his hands he's struck with that same feeling tinged with a sense of emptiness. He was all alone for not even a day and he was pulling himself apart at the seams, it was ridiculous. A fucking embarrassment. He can care for himself. He doesn't need Guillermo for this, he had seen where he kept the little bandaids so takes route to the little room under the stairs. Except when Nandor reaches the room he stops short of entering.

There's movement beyond the curtain, muted shuffles, fabric rustling and under it all a barely audible beating he can't help but tune into. It's so foreign yet distinctively familiar? A record he has heard a million times but can never remember the words.

His stomach churns, suddenly overcome with nausea.

He should walk away, he doesn't really need the silly little bandaids anyway.

Yet curiousity gets the better of him, so against his better judgement he reaches for the curtain, pulling it open abruptly mirroring the many times he had done so before to catch Guillermo off guard, expecting to be greeted by another little racoon rummaging through Guillermo's belongings, instead he's met with none other than Guillermo himself.

"Mierda!"

Guillermo drops a bag with a silent thump, his hand clutching at his chest, that strange beating skipping a beat before hammering away faster than before. It takes a moment, eyes zeroing in on Guillermo's hand, for Nandor to identify the source of the sound. Realisation washing over him like a winters chill.

Guillermo's heart. 

To anyone else they would think it was fine, the constant beating just another strong human heart, but they don't know it like Nandor. They couldn't pull that sound out from a crowd of people, tap the rhythm against their own hollow chest. They hadn't spent countless days locked away unable to drift off into the abyss using the comforting thrum as their personal lifeline to keep them sane in the dark.

Now its all wrong, diluted down to barely a whisper of its former self, the sound now like nails dragging across bone where it once comforted him, lulled him to sleep on even the toughest of mornings.

He can see himself from the corner of the room, standing in the threshold watching Guillermo shift his weight from one foot to the other, looking like he'd rather be anywhere but here with Nandor.

It's all wrong.

This is all wrong.

This wasn't how it was supposed to go. It was supposed to be him. It was him and Guillermo, he was supposed to get the final say. 

"Do you need something?" Guillermo's voice cuts through his thoughts with ease, even as he struggles to steady his own breath. "I was kinda busy."

Nandor comes back to himself, forces himself to meet Guillermo's eyes without breaking.

"You have been gone all day." He mumbles, voice low to avoid trembling. "And all night."

"I had errands to do."

He's being short, sentences clipped, like he somehow has the right to still be upset as he turns his back on Nandor, stuffing the small duffle bag he had dropped under his bed.

"What errands?" Nandor tracks his movements, placing one tentative foot over the threshold, approaching Guillermo as though he were a wild animal prone to startle, movements slow and prolonged, tracking prey. "I do not recall giving you any of these so called errands."

"I don't know, I had to go to the store? I can have personal errands."

"You don't know if you were at the store?" He steps closer again, curtain falling shut behind him. "That is rather concerning. I for one would remember if I had gone to the store."

"I was running errands!" His body turns to meet him. "Does it really matter where I was exactly?"

He takes one step closer, Guillermo takes one step back, a slow dance to create distance.

"It matters when you are so clearly lying."

Another step forward.

"What's your problem?!"

And another step back, Guillermo's lower back bumping into the low edge of his desk.

"My problem is I want you to stop putting the wool onto my eyes. My problem is I am not an the idiot you take me for!"

Nandor stares him down heavy gaze unwavering. He knows his size, how he looks and more importantly how to use that to his advantage. He was feared long before he was cursed, he has spent two lifetimes instilling fear into men so as expected it doesn't take long for Guillermo eyes break away, shifting to the left, zeroing in on the small bag he had shoved under his bed. 

Had he been packing? Was he really going to leave again? Finally get what he wanted elsewhere and just leave him?

"I was at the store, sorry it took so long I didn't mean to make you worry I just-"

More lies. He doesn't want to hear it, Nandor gave him his chance yet vampirism proves to be a curse, one that turns good, honest men into nothing more than dishonest liars. Why would Guillermo ever want to freely give away his heartbeat for something so vile? He had gone behind his back to ruin himself.

"How?" 

Guillermo stutters, mouth opening and closing around what could be words or complete silence, it's both the same to Nandor.

"What?"

Nandor steadies a breath he doesn't need. "I asked how."

Guillermo's brows twitch, drawing together as his lips pull into a tight line. Nandor instantly wants to take his question back and play ignorant but he needs to know, it could very well kill him if he doesn't find out, though a corner of his mind supplies that it may also kill him if he does.

"How were you turned? How did he-" His words catch in his throat, entire treacherous body working against him, begging him not to ask questions he's not prepared to be answered. 

"Turned? What are you talking about?" He laughs, a nervous tick, one of many Nandor pretends not to notice. He was good at that. "Do I look like a vampire?"

It sounds like he has more to say, his heart ticking away like a hummingbird taking flight. Nandor cuts him off, breath hissing out between gritted teeth.

"Guillermo, how?!"

Everythings too much, that same feeling from before slipping under his skin and sliding right down to his fingertips causing them to shake.

He suddenly wants to pick at the flesh again, bury his nails deep and dig out the feeling just so he can feel in control of his own body again. He just wants to be able to think for a second, catch his breath, process this betrayal. He just needs those stupid little bandaids he came for!

"Master? Hey, are you okay?" The rhythmic beating of Guillermo's heart grows louder, taunting him, a neverending reminder that Guillermo never truly needed him. Never even wanted him. "Hey, come on, please look at me." 

Nandor acts on instinct, body moving before logical thoughts can hold him back. He lunges, catching Guillermo's raised hand in his own and closing the short space between them. Using his own weight to force Guillermo back into his desk, tightly pinning his captured wrist to the top, his other hand gripping the space beside Guillermo's hip so tightly he can feel the wood chip and splinter beneath his nails. 

Guillermo doesn't flinch, of course he doesn't, damn slayer abilities he probably saw Nandor closing in on him before the thought had even crossed Nandor's mind. It should piss him off, spark the warrior in him and make ache to tear Guillermo's throat out with his bare fucking teeth. Instead he feels hollow, a brittle nothingness where fury should reside.

The last shreds of his anger spilling out from his palms no matter how much he tries to cling to it. White hot rage feels like home, he knows it so personally, had built his entire empire upon it. He wants it so badly it burns his eyes, blurring his vision. He's not sure what to do without it.

"I asked you a question." 

"Master, I don't know what-"

"Do not be shitting with me right now, Guillermo! You think I wouldn't notice? Do you really think that I am that stupid that I wouldn't notice that my..."

His voice catches, his what? Familiar just wasn't true anymore, hadn't been for a long time now. His friend? His closest companion? It all fell short, so many ways to describe what Guillermo was to him, but words had never been his strong suit.

His grips tightens, he tries to focus in on thrum of his pulse beneath his thumb.

"...my friend. My Guillermo, had been turned? Do you really think that I wouldn't notice?"

When all is said and done he's a coward through and through, a pathetic child in grown mans armour, he can't even look Guillermo in the eye as he speaks. Instead his gaze drifts over his shoulder, settling on the small glitter portrait sitting upon the desk. Any other time the sight of his gift, his silent promise to Guillermo would bring him comfort. How sweet of him to have kept it all this time?

Now he hates the sight of it, sitting there taunting him with everything he could never have, a failure of his own making.

It should have been him.

It could have been him.

"You really think, after all these years, that I wouldn't notice?" 

Silence settles over them, like the ticking of a clock Guillermo's heart rings in his ears, and much like a clock Nandor is unable to ignore it so stops fighting it's call and instead let's it wash over him. Stood so closely he can hear it ring loud and clear, can feel his pulse thumping away below his grip. Not quiet dead yet a ghost of what was.

It's still his Guillermo, still his beloved little rascal, yet it's all wrong. Everything about this situation is wrong, even with one hand balanced on the desk and the other gripping Guillermo's wrist he can feel himself shake under the weight of it all. 

The portrait glistens, candle light reflecting against millions of tiny pieces, each one a promise he had made and couldn't keep. Nandor looks away, down at the man in front of him.

It wasn't supposed to go like this.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you, I really did." Much like the portrait he had made the candle light dances across Guillermo's eyes, sparkling and devastatingly beautiful even when filled with so much sorrow. "But I didn't think it worked, I don't think I'm even a real vampire."

"It worked." It's all he can force out, not wanting to be the reason those tears finally fall.

"How could you tell?"

Nandor's hand shifts, releasing the desk and settling over Guillermo's sweater, right where his heart sits.

"This."

He taps his index finger, four distinct taps burnt to memory. It doesn't match the beat below. "Your heartbeat...it is not the same." Four more taps, mirroring it's new song. "I don't think I care for it like this."

His little heart must know he's talking about it, trying to communicate back as it only grows louder, faster, at his words.

"You cared for it?"

The more Guillermo spoke the clearer his voice, he knows he's not moved, but he sounds closer, wants to be closer. So he shifts, free hand snaking around Guillermo's warm body, pressing to the centre of his spine so to bring him closer as Nandor dips his head, forehead pressing to his collar bone.

"It was a good heartbeat. The strong heartbeat of a warrior."

"What's it like now."

Nandor turns his head, pressing an ear to his chest. His heartbeat far clearer.

"It's not yours anymore."

"It is."

"It isn't the same." He's being petulant, he knows it yet he cant stop himself. 

"Remember last winter when I got sick?" Guillermo sighs. A tentative hand coming up to pet through his hair, a small Nandor allows himself the pleasure of. "You complained you couldn't sleep because my coughing kept you up all day?"

Of course he remembers, it was very rude. Guillermo had kept up his little sickness for days despite his complaints. Wheezing and coughing at all hours of the day.

"Well you said I didn't sound like myself anymore, you didn't talk to me all night because you thought I was faking it."

"If was very annoying."

"I was sick, Nandor. I could barely talk!" He pauses, breathes in a deep breath through his nose and out through his mouth, a calming technique he had shown Nandor. Humans really do get rattled over the slightest of things. "It doesn't matter, just even then, when I didn't sound like myself, I was still me. That was still my voice."

"That was it different."

"How? It's still my heart, I've not gotten a new one."

No it was still so clearly Guillermo's heart but every fibre of his being wants to argue, stamp his feet, throw things if he must and tell him all the ways that Guillermo is wrong and he is right, but all fight dies on his tongue as the hand in his hair shifts. Warmth bleeding across his scalp as clipped nails scrape over the skin, fingers running through the length of his hair, gently combing out any tangles with practiced ease.

His eyes feel heavy, fight slipping out from under him. He's reminded of the nights where his head rings and faint candle light burns his eyes like the sun, where even his softest brush feels like knives against his scalp. Despite the pain Guillermo always knew what to do as he combs through his hair with nimble fingers, all warmth and familiar softness to ease the ache.

The touch is so natural to them.

It's still his Guillermo. 

He melts into him, grip loosening, heart beating in his ear. Of course he has to ruin the moment, hurt his own feelings and make Guillermo mad at him again.

"Why did you not ask me?"

"You can't be serious right now?"

Guillermo's hand stops petting him midair, harsh voice ringing out in the otherwise silent room causing Nandor to flinch, body going rigid once more. Nandor had anticipated this response, actively sought it out like dipping his fingers through the cracks of a curtain, so why does it still hurt? 

"You were never going to do it, we both know that. I had to finally accept that it wasn't going to go how I wanted. I didn't know how much time I had left to waste waiting for you. I finally took matters into my own hands for once and if it really makes you feel any better it was awful. That's why I was gone so long." He laughs but it's full of bitterness, a strange anger directed inwards. "I nearly died for this and you want to know what my biggest fear was?"

"That I was going to kill you once I found out?"

"No I was...wait. Should I be worried about that?"

Nandor pauses for a moment, let's the ache in his chest wash over him. Would he? He shakes his head. No, he could never do that. Empty threats? Those were easy. A life without Guillermo? No. He'd sooner end his own.

"Eh, the feeling has passed."

"Ah, good to know? But no, I was about to die and all I could think about was how I wouldn't be able to see you again."

The confession drags up long since faded memories. Nandor barely remembers coming to after he had been turned, the scene drags out like a broken record, pin skipping over vinyl, cutting out all the noise. The only thing he knows to be true was the disgust in his lovers eyes, blood staining everything, the fear wrapping around his spine as he could barely stand. It all fades out after that, holes where memories should be.

To think Guillermo's own turning had been just as violent makes him want to burn Staten Island to ground along with whoever it was who cursed him, sullied the one thing he longed for.

He should have been there to protect him.

"You deserved better." The words pass his lips before he even registers it him who's speaking.

"What's done is done. It doesn't matter anymore."

"It matters to me."

"Well, if it matters so much then how would you of done it?"

"Excuse you?"

"You heard me. If you really think I deserved better then how would you of done it? How would you turn me?"

Nandor straightens his back, reluctantly releasing Guillermo and even worse loosing the soothing hand in his hair, but he needs to think and he's unable to do so with Guillermo invading all of his senses. He eyes him up, still skeptical that this is still some elaborate joke, one where Nandor would inevitably be the punchline yet again.

"Are you trying to make one of your shitty little jokes again?"

"I'm being serious, I really want to know."

Guillermo's hand settles on his shoulder, thumb rubbing absent minded circles into the muscle, coaxing him on.

Nandor's still hesitant, but when he meets Guillermo's dark eyes he's met with nothing but his undivided attention, staring up at him like he alone hung the moon and the stars just for him, like he really means the words he spoke, he truly cares about what Nandor has to say.

"You really want to know?" He slowly draws the words out. "Would you like me to show you?"

Guillermo nods, lips parting.

"Well..." Nandor starts slowly, still wary the rug may be pulled from under him at any moment so he busies his hands by plucking a piece of imaginary lint from Guillermo's collar. "You have been a very good familiar to me, minus the ultimate betrayal of my trust. The constant running away from home and all the constant murdering of other Vampires."

Nandor can feel Guillermo rolling his eyes, it's a little impressive how he can make a short gesture roll throughout his entire body.

"Despite your many, many flaws, you have always been good to me. Kind and gentle. You have kept me safe and you have perhaps, maybe, become just a teensy bit special to me. So, I suppose I would have to make it just as special." Once again he busies his hands to displace his nerves, tugging lightly at the sweater, Guillermo's heart now beating just below his palms. "It wouldn't feel right not to repay that debt."

Nandor watches intently as Guillermo swallows, his Adams apple bobbing up and down in his throat, soft pink tongue darting out to wet his lower lip. A path Nandor wishes he could follow with his own.

"How would you do that? I mean, how would you make it special?"

"Well, to start with we'd have to make sure you look pretty, you will be like this forever so you don't want to get stuck with a bad haircut. Trust me. I once knew a guy turned half way through shaving his beard, not a good look. There is no changing your appearance."

Nandor often wishes there were a way for him to change, to cut his hair and it not grow back the next night. He would craft himself into whatever Guillermo desires if it meant he would continue to look him like in this very moment for all eternity and never tire 

"I don't think that could never be an issue for you. Someone who takes such good care of me could never look less than perfect... actually now that I think about it." His hand drifts, finger softly tracing a single curl. He was the picture of perfection, never a curl out of place, but he can't help but tease. "Perhaps you could maybe exceed perfection with a few silver hairs, but that is all personal taste."

Lies and blasphemy, but it pulls a radiant smile from his little human all the same.

"Honestly? I'm surprised I haven't gone grey already, looking after you isn't exactly a walk in the park."

"We walk in the park all the time, do we not?"

Guillermo laughs, his whole face lighting up with the sound and Nandor knows he doesn't deserve to be the cause of such beauty, undeserving of Guillermo's happiness just like he'll always be undeserving of the sun's warmth.

He burries that feeling, tucks it away in his breast pocket to agonise over later, now was not the time. This was about Guillermo, so he returns a small smile despite not understanding what's so funny, asking would only succeed in making him feel stupid and would risk sacrificing Guillermo's joy. He had learned to stay silent long ago.

"Never mind, there will be plenty of time for walks in parks, don't you worry." His body works on its own accord before his mind can catch up, thumb reaching up and out, tracing a gentle line across his bottom lip to the corner of his mouth. Following the same path Guillermo's own tongue had taken earlier. "You may forget this moment Guillermo, but it would be burned into my memory for eternity. I know it is selfish of me but I would want to remember you in this moment as you are now: Happy."

He's captivated, unable to tear his eyes away from the way paper thin skin moves under his thumb, how it catches ever so slightly. Nandor has denied himself of this simple pleasure for so long knowing that if he ever freely touched the other man he'd be unable to stop himself, so instead had to grow satisfied with the fleeting touches Guillermo gifted him along their daily routine.

It was never enough but to want more was foolish, it would burn him alive.

But God he wants more, he wants so much more. He was selfish in life and even in death. Nandor wants everything he can never have. He wants eternity by Guillermo's side. To love and be loved in return by his little human. He wants everything that he is, everything he's ever been and ever will be. He wants his saint like patience, his unwavering kindness and gentle touch. Nandor wants to drop to his knees and worship at the altar of his very being, if only Guillermo would have him.

He swallows around the lump in his throat, forcing himself back to the present, focusing back on the constant beating inside Guillermo's chest to steady his thoughts and remind himself of the situation he's found himself in. Pulling his thumb away from that distracting mouth to instead rest on his cheek, not ready to give up touching him entirely but allowing himself just enough distance so he can think clearly, keep the desperate need burning him up from the inside from spilling out into his voice when he spoke.

None of this is real. Nandor reminds himself. He still doesn't want you, this is just to make up for your mistakes.

"You would be happy, wouldn't you Guillermo?" If I were the one to turn you? The question goes unspoken, like licking a battery it shocks Nandor to his very core with how much the answer truly matters to him.

Guillermo's head tilts, barely a short nod in agreement that's simply not enough so with a light hum Nandor cups Guillermo's jaw a little firmer, holds him steady as he shakes his head. Leaning in. A mere inch closer and he'd be able to feel the warmth of Guillermo's breath against his mouth, coming out in short puffs as though he had run a mile.

"That's not good enough Guillermo. I asked you a question did I not? I would need a firm 'yes'." The smirk in his voice is good, it covers up his fear and makes it that much easier to meet Guillermo's fluttering gaze. "Would you be happy?"

There's a moment of silence, Guillermo's heart rings in his ear, and for just a moment Nandor fears he overstepped.

"Yes."

If it weren't for their proximity, Nandor's heightened hearing, he might've missed the way Guillermo breathed out the word so softly, as if spoken just for him and him alone.

"If it was you then always."

Nothing else in that moment mattered anymore, only Guillermo. Just his precious Guillermo.

"Good." 

Nandor leans in with a smirk, silently relishing in the way Guillermo's breath catches and his heart skips a beat, avoiding his mouth and instead pressing a feather light kiss to his cheek.

"Good boy."

He's thankful for his hand still cupping the smaller man's jaw, softly preventing him from moving so Nandor is free to pepper kisses along Guillermo's every feature. Every piece of him he loves so deeply and has longed to worship.

The smooth slope of his adorable nose.

"You're so good."

The highs of his plump cheekbones.

"My perfect little Guillermo."

The soft edges of his deceptively sharp jaw.

"Ātashé del-am."

A soft press of lips everywhere other than where Nandor wants to kiss the most, he has all the time in the world and tenderness is a luxury he often doesn't get to indulge in. He wants to slowly take Guillermo apart with soft kisses and gentle touches, before piecing him back together in anyway he pleases. Prove to Guillermo how much better he could've been if only he hadn't been a coward, this is what he could have had for eternity.

Nandor's free hand shifts from it's place sprawled across Guillermo's chest, no longer satisfied with feeling his heart through many layers of clothing. Dipping lower, fingers ghosting the edge of his sweater before completely forgoing it. Diving under to paw at his plush waist, feeling the warmth of him bleed through the thin layer of his shirt before slowly untucking sliding beneath that too. Feeding the ever growing need to be closer.

"Fuck!" Guillermo's hands finally move up to cling to his clothes, to tug sharply, squirming beneath his onslaught of affection or perhaps from how cold his hands are? It's been so long, Nandor forgets how sensitive humans can be.

"Sorry."

He doesn't sound sorry, he doesn't really feel sorry either. Not with Guillermo all soft and warm under his touch, his heartbeat a hummingbird taking flight, rapidly fluttering away beneath his ribs. Under all the newness, the not quite Guillermo-ness, it's still him. 

Nandor presses another kiss along his jaw, just below Guillermo's ear where is pulse is strongest.

"Nandor, please..."

His name, finally, never before had his own name sounded so sweet as it did now. It begs the question of how else could Guillermo say his name? Whispered softly into his ear, wrap the broken syllables around his tongue with a whine? Broken and cracked on a moan?

"What is it you're asking for?" He doesn't bother lifting his head, in part because he's not ready to stop kissing the other so freely, but mostly to enjoy the full body shudder that tears it's way through Guillermo as he breathes his question into the shell of his ear. So sensitive. "What is it you want?"

"Estás pendejo! You know what I want!"

Nandor hums again, kissing along his jaw, his path slowly leading towards his final destination. If Guillermo was going to be difficult then that's okay. Nandor is more than happy to continue on like this until night bleeds into morning, he would happily burn up like this.

"How can you be so sure?"

Guillermo whines "You know me better than anyone else, you know what I want."

They're fighting words, ones Nandor always believed those words to be true, now it only feels like a stake to his heart.

From the start he was convinced Vampirism wasn't for Guillermo, the man was much too soft to live the life of a monster. He had a family, a mother he calls daily who marks her goodbyes with "I love you's". He captures spiders in the palms of his hands and sets them free even as Nadja screams for him to flatten them dead. He still gets teary eyed at movies he could recite word for word, especially that one with the dig. He holds Nandor's hand, talks him through nightmares. Combs his hair and accepts all the apologises he never says out loud.

His sweet Guillermo, he was not cut out for this life.

And yet, here he stood, a man balanced on a razor blade. Not quite human, not yet vampire. Did he know him at all?

"Maybe I just want to hear you say it?"

"Nandor..."

They're so close, finally looking into Guillermo's eyes makes him a little crosseyed but it's so worth it to see how his own gaze is glued to his mouth as both of his hands go to the back of his neck. Nimble fingers spreading lavishly down the broad expanse of his shoulders, pawing at the fabric of his cloak as if to coax him closer, lure him into finally closing the gap.

"Guillermo...” He mirrors, quietly but still very clearly desperate, the drawn out syllables of his name making his lips brush against Guillermo's in such a way that he might as well give up and just be kissing him.

He has no need to breathe, hasn't for longer than some stars have existed in the night sky, he had only found himself doing so in some vain attempt to feel more human again. Yet pressed so close, Guillermo's own breath ghosting against his lips as their noses brush, Nandor finds himself lightheaded.

This was the moment he's spent countless hours painting in his mind, the moment their lips would finally meet. How perfect it would all be, in all those hours he never anticipated fear to curl around his spine like a tightly wound spring. The point of no return, there was no hypnotism to remedy this situation, no going back to how they once were.

Is that what Guillermo would want? To carry on like nothing had happened? None of this was real anyway, so did Guillermo even want this like he did, or was he just caught up in the moment? Would this scene play out just the same if Nandor was anyone else?

"Please just kiss me already." It's such a soft plea whispered with such sincerity it takes him off guard, ripping him from his thoughts, the counterfeit scene instantly melting away around them. "Or did you seriously plan on being this frustrating-"

Nandor cuts him off, tentative at first. Barely a chaste brush of dry lips before it's all over as quickly as it had started as Nandor pulls back in disbelief. Had he seriously just done that? Fucked everything up beyond repair?

The panic doesn't get a second to root itself, Guillermo doesn't give it chance before he's quickly reeling Nandor back in. Two warm hands pressing insistently at the base of his skull, clawing at the back of his neck, tightly clinging to the fabric of his cloak, doing whatever they can to tug him closer like any space between them hurts. It's a feeling that Nandor himself can understand though never expected Guillermo to feel the same. Any shred of of apprehension is lost, instead replaced by the raw need to be closer, holding on tight as Guillermo presses closer with each kiss.

The tempo Guillermo sets is anything but steady or chaste like Nandor had expected from him, it's greedy. A constant firm press of lips and tongue with no real rhythm or finesse, inexperience evident as Nandor's nose constantly bumps against his cheek every time he moves, pressing just below the thin metal frame of his glasses. It's more a little awkward, the height difference means he has to hunch over uncomfortably, but he can't bring himself to complain about the ache in his spine, not when Guillermo is making these soft little whiny noises in the back of his throat that Nandor's certain he isn't even aware of.

The realisation that this is how someone kisses when they've been waiting for so long hits him like a freight train, his own desires being mirrored back to him is drags a broken moan from deep within Nandor's chest that he should be at least a little embarrassed by if it weren't met with a delicious broken whine and a hand tightening it's hold.

Embarrassment be fucked, what a useless little emotion it was 

It's dizzying, never could he allow himself to entertain the impossibility that Guillermo could ever want this as much as him. Even now it still feels like a pipe dream to hope, never could Nandor let himself believe it yet here Guillermo is; squirming under his touch, his tongue trying to push past his lips, not asking for entry but instead demanding it, and Nandor never having been good at denying Guillermo anything so easily parts his lips to allow Guillermo to deepen the kiss. Meeting his tongue with his own, pressing forward in the briefest of battles before quickly relinquishing control. He is Guillermo's tonight, his human free to do with him what he pleases. If Guillermo asked him to walk into the sun he'd do it in a heartbeat.

It seems to gain Guillermo's favour, if his pleased hum is anything to go by as his hands finally settle back into Nandor's dark hair again. Soft hands gripping at the back of his head in a gentle pawing motion, as if petting him, congratulating him for being so good. Rewarding him by catching a fistful of his locks in a delicious grip before gently releasing them in a brief second of respite before tightening again only a moment later, igniting thousands upon thousands pinprick points of pleasure, teasing him.

Its sweet torture, but if that's the game Guillermo wants to play then Nandor is more than happy to follow along.

So he does, with one hand under each thigh Nandor lifts Guillermo up and onto the edge his shitty little desk with ease, capturing the surprised little "Mhm" that falls from his lips and swallowing it down.

Even without vampiric strength the manoeuvre would be easy, they work so well together at the best of times so why would this be any different? Of course Guillermo would go along with his every move, anticipate his touch, give as good as he got so when Nandor's hands snake higher up it's only natural that Guillermo would spread those lovely plush thighs to accommodate Nandor's body pressing between them.

The more they kiss the more eager Guillermo gets, thighs squeezing tightly around him. Constantly pulling and touching any inch of him he can get his hands on; along his back, his neck, hair, cupping his jaw like he can't get enough. It's dizzying to feel so wanted, a sticky heat kindling in the depths of his stomach that only gets grows hotter with every touch. 

God, Nandor wishes he could stay like this forever.

In this moment suspended in time Guillermo was his. His to touch and to kiss, to drag out muffled sighs from deep within his lungs, swallow them down to keep them for himself. His perfect little Guillermo, his to sire, his to spend eternity with.

His, his, his.

Of course that's the moment Guillermo stops, pulling back just far enough to break their kiss but not enough so Nandor is unable to feel each shuddered breath fan across his parted lips. Guillermo's eyes locking on Nandor's own, his usual sharp gaze glossed over in what Nandor can only imagine is a perfect reflection of himself. He can't recall the last time he had ever felt so thoroughly undone, perhaps never?

Guillermo's mouth is visibly wet when he talks, it's more than a little distracting. "What would you do next?"

In an ideal world he'd still be kissing him, but if Guillermo had decided he wanted to move on to more, see how else Nandor would make him feel special, then who was he to deny such a sweet request? 

Nandor paws at his waist, desperate to feel his warm skin fill his hands again but being blocked by layer upon layer, so much ill fitting fabric keeping his perfect body hidden away from him. It gives him a moment to capture the shattered edges of his thoughts, rein in a shred of his composure.

"I would find a way to distract you." Nandor presses another kiss to now swollen lips, tilting his head to press another to the curve of Guillermo's jaw, if Nandor was only going to be blessed for one night then he was going to make the most of it, a second spent not worshipping this idol was a moment wasted.

Guillermo's fist tightens its hold and tugs before he can continue lower, pleasure lighting up across his scalp like fireworks, not only succeeding in creating distance between but also in tugging an airy whine from Nandor. It feels good, of course it does, it shouldn't shock him that Guillermo had picked up so quickly what made Nandor's body cry out but the distance is unbearable.

Why would Guillermo want any distance right now? It was cruelty of the highest degree.

With a whine Nandor strains against Guillermo’s grip, desperate to bury himself himself in the warm hollow of his throat, worry the delicate skin between too sharp teeth. Soothe away the ache until he tastes the blood rise up to the surface, rupture just put of reach of his tongue, a torturous exercise in denial. He's unable to suppress the desperate noise that thought pulls from him even if he wanted to, desperation was clearly a becoming look on him and he wore it well.

"Dios, dame fuerza."

Usually he found it very rude when Guillermo said words he knew Nandor couldn't understand, but with one hand still tangled up in his hair and Guillermo's eyes so heavy lidded looking impossibly undone, Nandor couldn't find it in him to care. Guillermo could pray to the God's in his mother tongue so long as he kept looking at him like that.

"Nandor." His name a warning. "You said you'd distract me next?"

Nandor tries to nod but is unable to do so with Guillermo's vice like grip.

"I am trying, but I can't do that with you dragging me around by my hair." Nandor wants his voice to sound like a warning, instead he's taken back at how desperate he sounds. Voice wrecked by just a few minutes of light kissing. "It is very rude."

Guillermo lessens his hold with a muffled apology and dammit, Nandor really didn't think that one through.

"Okay...why would you distract me?" 

Seriously what was so confusing here? Had Guillermo always been so slow? No. Nandor had clearly just melted his tiny human brains with his sexual abilities.

"Turning hurts. You would not know this as you are still just a little human, but it is a very painful ordeal. You don't have to worry though, my little mouse, I'd do my best to distract you so you won't feel it so much." He punctuates his point with a light tap to the tip of Guillermo's nose. Adorable. "But first I would tell you I would be distracting you, so not to suprise you."

"Hm, not a very good distraction if I know you're going to be distracting me."

"You have not yet witnessed my distraction techniques, they are very distracting Guillermo." 

Guillermo smiles, clearly not believing his abilities. "Mhm, I'm sure. Go on then, how would you 'distract' me then?"

His hands wander once more. He circles Guillermo's waist in what could almost be considered a hug, using his new found hold to tug Guillermo closer to the edge of his desk. Pressing the fronts of their growing erections together, successfully enticing another sweet noise from deep within Guillermo.

So beautiful. Everything about this man was perfect.

"I have been told I am very good with my hands."

To punctuate his point Nandor's hands dip lower, dragging over full thighs before settling into the crease where thigh meets hip and squeezing. Nandor hears how Guillermo's pulse picks up at that, thighs tightening their hold around him, and being long past denying himself Nandor dips forward to taste the change along his pulse point. A long stripe along the column of his neck, rounded off with a short kiss just below his ear.

"Though, I have been told I am even better with my mouth."

The incoherent whine of what he assumes is his name in response is a whole reward in of itself.

It wasn't unusual for his lover for the night to be overwhelmed by his sexual charm, it can be too much for some people and while he knows Guillermo is far from virginal he is still only human. To this day even Laszlo struggles with Nandor's charm, often opting to gag him before he can even get a single word out.

Though Guillermo still isn't responding to his question. Perhaps he should dial it back a notch? He had heard human hearts can be weak and easy to break.

"Guillermo?" He purrs, pulling back just enough to admire the deep blush blooming across the apples of his cheeks, Guillermo's usually warm eyes completely dark, eclipsed by arousal. It was certainly a good look on him. "How would you have me?"

He purrs, rolling his hips forward and into the willing body in his hands, wanting Guillermo to feel just how much Nandor needs him in this moment, how much of an effect he has on him, and it felt as though Guillermo was in a similar situation.

"Like this, please!" Guillermo gasps, clinging to this clothes. Hiking his thighs higher, ankles hooking behind Nandor to tug him closer, keep him trapped as if Nandor would ever leave.

"Just like this? Are you sure?"

Guillermo nods, he sucks in a slow, shaky breath, before saying anything. "I just want to feel you."

And God that threatened to be his second demise. How long had he hoped for Guillermo to one day look up at him with eyes clouded over with lust and speak such sweet nothings? 

"Anything for you, however you want me, I am yours my love."

The semi confession takes him off guard so he quickly kisses Guillermo again before he can say anything. One hand gripping Guillermo's thigh over his hip so he can more freely press into him, rolling his hips down to create more of that sweet friction, the other slipping under his shirt so to feel as much of that soft skin as he can.

Normally this sloppy teenage makeout bullshit wouldn't do it for him, far too many layers and not enough skin on skin. But with Guillermo it's different, everything with him always had been. Thee warmth rolling off his body in waves, the constant stream of muffled sounds spilling from his lips, it's all threatening to drown him. It's too much yet not nearly enough, he wants to be completely consumed by him. Wants to know all the different noises he can pull from him. How sweet his moans taste on his tongue as he rolls his hips forward again and again, the grip on his thigh bruising, nails biting into his ample waist, he wants to leave him mark on this impossible little human. He wants Guillermo to look in the mirror the next day and be branded with his mark, press his fingers into his bruises and be reminded of his love. 

Would he play out this scene again in his head? Touch himself as he thought of Nandor? Fuck, he wanted to ruin him. Make it so no man could ever touch him again without conjuring up memories of his face.

"Fuck-" It's embarrassing how thought makes his stolen blood run hot, hips buckling.

Nandor swallows around another groan in a vain attempt to minimise the noise it makes. Guillermo still hears it, of course he does, responds with a little throaty noise of his own, tightening his thighs and using the added leverage to lift his hips up to meet one of his thrusts on its downwards roll and fuck. Another heavy thrum of pleasure, sparking his dead nerve endings on fire. His dick twitches in his pants.

He wants to be the one to ruin Guillermo, but the truth was clear, no one would ever be able to hold candle to this man in his palms. Guillermo will surely be his last.

It's ridiculous to be so worked up over a little heavy petting and yet Nandor is unable to recall the last time he felt so thoroughly undone. Perhaps when the blood coursing through his veins was still his own? Maybe not even then. It only made sense that the only one to make him feel this way was Guillermo, a damn Van Helsing that could kill him without a seconds notice but would never hurt a hair on his head.

Guillermo nips at Nandor's bottom lip, blunt human teeth capturing the delicate skin and tugging playfully, it's a level of teasing that Nandor never expected from the other man so is caught off guard, the small action dragging something low and desperate that sounds alarmingly like a whimper. Nandor swears he can feel him smiling, lips curling in amusement before he pulls back.

"Oh?"

Guillermo's eyes light up at the sound like he's just hit the jackpot and Nandor's not sure whether he should be terrified or excited, his body, the treacherous thing, decides for him. Hips bucking forward on their own accord, and as much as it pains him to let go of Guillermo's plush waist he has to. Hand slamming back down into the desk for purchase as his spine arches, presses further into the warm body below.

It wasn't enough, it was too much.

"Fuck." If he were capable blushing his cheeks would surely be stained red, matching the heat blooming across Guillermo's own cheeks, the colour only deepening after a particularly satisfying rolls of his hips. 

His jaw snaps shut, Nandor having effectively silenced whatever teasing rebuttal he had planned in favour of another muffled noise, Guillermo's pressing into his clothed shoulder.

He has clearly been enjoying this from the start, each thrust and roll of his hips only makes it more and more apparent to Nandor. Erection straining against the confines of his khakis, brushing against his own. Nandor wishes he could just tear the cheap trousers from his body, take them both in hand and really feel him against him, skin on skin. He wouldn't last a damn second though before popping off like a firework, his stamina had been reduced to shit the moment he made that damn wish with the Djinn. Even when he had reversed it, cut out the part involving his familiar, he still found himself unable to think of anything else.

The flood gates had been well and truly destroyed and there was no going back.

Every waking moment was filled with Guillermo, and sleep offered him little reprise from images of his human. He was well and truly fucked in every perceivable sense of the word.

"Fuck, fuck-" Guillermo gasps out, heart hammering away in his chest, voice vibrating through his shoulder.

The way Guillermo's words blurred around the edges with desperation, it turned Nandor's entire world of it's axis, it wasn't even sex and nothing had ever felt so intense.

He presses their lips together again, another poorly stifled sound crawling up from his chest, half cut off as Guillermo once again bites into his lower lip. He wasn't going to last at this rate. Pleasure was no longer coming in low waves anymore, instead a constant, maddening ache where he couldn't keep his head above water, threatening to end it all too soon. He wants to drag this out, make it last forever. Just him and Guillermo as one.

He wants to be closer.

He needs to be closer.

Nandor wraps both arms around Guillermo, pulling him flush against him, burning into his memory the feel and smell of his lover pressed so tightly. His hands in his hair, he's never going to be able get his hair brushed by those same hands again without getting hard.

"Fuck, Nandor!" Guillermo whines, legs scrambling for purchase. No doubt the edge of the desk biting into him uncomfortably so he does the gentlemanly thing of dipping his hands lower so to scoop him up, pressing him closer and getting a good feel. Guillermo's close. He tastes it in the air between them, hears it as his heart picks up. "Please."

Nandor so desperately wants to spill words like molten honey to bring him tumbling over the edge, list all the reasons Guillermo is too good for him, all the things he's admired about him over the years. His strength, his patience, how he speaks so softly when it's just the two of them and how special that makes him feel. How even on his worst days just being in the same room as him is enough to make him forget that he misses the warm kiss of sunlight on his skin.

Nandor knows his voice would crack and his resolve would crumble along with it. If he spoke now he'd only beg and plead for Guillermo to stay with him and only him. That while none of this was real, and Guillermo had gone to another, could they please let this game of play pretend slip over into their daily lives. Nobody had to know, this little secret can be hidden between the two of them and he can be his sire.

Instead he buries his face in the crook of Guillermo's neck, breathes in the soft scent of old books and cheap detergent, the smell of home.

"Yes my love?"

"I'm close, I'm-" His words leave him in gasps, voice straining around another whine and Nandor knows just how good he's finding this in the way he's grabbing and squeezing his fingers across his back, desperate for relief.

Nandor presses a quick kiss to his forehead, hopeful that will somehow convey how close he is too. The heat pooling inside of him had only been growing worse by each the noises spilling so freely from the others mouth; high pitched whines blending so beautifully with his own low groans, a perfect symphony that will curse his ever waking moment.

Guillermo tilts his head to the side, freely offering up the long expanse of his neck, Nandor's heart jumps in his chest. Pressing a few soft, inconsequential presses of lips in the same spot before lighting applying suction, bringing blood to the surface just out of reach.

"Nandor, please." 

"What do you need my sweet pomegranate?"

"Fuck- Please just bite me, I want you to turn me please. Please sire me, I want you, Nandor-"

Nandor could never deny Guillermo anything, not when he begged so sweetly and breathed his name like it was something precious to hold. Guillermo could ask him to walk out into the sun, forfeit his entire dowry, change his last name to 'de la Cruz' and he would do it all just to make him happy.

The moment his fangs pierced his skin he was done for, fate permanently sealed. Sunlight was never destined to be his end, it had been written in the stars that Guillermo was also going to be the true death of him, seven hundred years of waiting and every second hand been worth it. Blood spills across his tongue, dragging up memories from deep within him. Warm sunlight, a beating heart, the taste of pomegranate, what it meant to be alive and in love.

His vision whites out.

The movements of his hips now entirely nonsensical, erratic, driven by the white hot orgasm tearing through his body, driving his him into the warm body below and pulling him over the edge with him. Mouth open around a silent scream as his hands tangle into his hair, tugging sharply.

Guillermo tenses and writhes over the desk, thighs fluttering around his hips before all tension dissolves from him leaving him slumped against Nandor's chest for support, breath coming out of him in short, sharp puffs and his heartbeat steadies and he catches his breath. 

He retracts his fangs, lapping over the two small puncture wounds, effectively cleaning the area and satisfying a need he may never get to again.

It feels like an eternity they're sat there in each others embrace. Nandor's hand tracing idle patterns into Guillermo's back as they're presses chest to chest, Guillermo's heartbeat reverberating through him, reminding him of when he had a heartbeat of his own.

Nandor never wants to let go, but that was never an option, good things don't happen to the likes of him, a fitting punishment for his wrongdoings.

"I think I need a shower." Guillermo grimaces, legs unraveling from around Nandor. "And a change of clothes."

The effect those words have on him are immediate, a bucket ice cold water dumped over him, sobering him instantly to the reality of the situation.

In another world, one where any of this was real, Nandor might ask to join him and they'd bask in their post orgasm bliss together. Steal kisses and small touches under the the warm downfall as Nandor finally returns the favour and tends to Guillermo for a change, perhaps initiate a repeat performance.

This was not that world so instead Nandor pulls away. He was a fool to get so caught up in the moment, allow himself to believe that any of this meant anything to the other. This was just a way to apologise, make up for not keeping his promise, none of it was ever real. 

He swallows around the lump in his throat.

"Ah, yes. It's not very hygienic to sit in your own messes for long." He straightens his back, eyes already on the exit not daring to see the look in Guillermo's eyes. "I shall also go change."

"Oh." Guillermo sounds sad, of course he does. Nandor has ruined everything, he took it too far like he always does, fulfilled his own selfish fantasies and now he's hurt Guillermo. He laughs without humour, legs dangling from the desk. "I suppose you should."

He nods. He should leave, yet his shoes feel as though they're made of led. He doesn't want to leave, but he should, Guillermo clearly wants him to.

"Goodnight, Guillermo."

He's out the room before Guillermo can speak, a downtrodden "Goodbye, Master." slipping past the curtains as they drift shut, following him out the room and down the hall.

Nandor curses himself for getting carried away.

If only he never knew how sweet his blood tasted on his tongue then maybe he wouldn't feel this way. Maybe if he hadn't got so wrapped up in his own selfish fantasies then maybe come tomorrow he wouldn't have to avoid Guillermo like the sun. Maybe Guillermo won't even be here come tomorrow, maybe he'll back his little duffel bag and go back to the one he had chosen, his real sure.

God if only he had never kissed him, then maybe that same beating from before would be shadowing his every step and he once again ran away.

If only their little game of play pretend had meant something.