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You lay with Angel in your hotel room late one night. You’re laying snug against him in your bed, both watching whatever trash is on Tiktok. He eventually gets bored and set’s his phone down on the nightstand next to your bed and sets his chin on top of your head, watching whatever it is you’re watching now. You lay like that for what feels like hours just silently enjoying each other’s presence. Eventually, you also get bored and set your phone down on the nightstand as well. You roll over and lay your head on Angel’s chest and try to sleep. He silently accepts this and moves his arms to wrap around your waist and pull you closer. After what seems like an eternity you look up at him with your big eyes and whisper. “Angel?”
He stirs awake from hearing your soft voice and looks down. “Yeah toots? You okay?” You whisper back a quiet no and mention you’re scared. “Well what’s botherin’ you suga?”
You whisper back. “I’m just scared of the extermination… ‘M scared I’m gonna lose you.” He looks at you fondly and assures you that you never have to worry and that he ain’t gonna leave you anytime soon. “I’ll be okay toots, you don’t ever gotta worry ‘bout me. I’ve lived through worse.” He pulls you closer and starts softly stroking your hair. “‘Nd if I do ever gotta leave ya then I’ll do whatever I have to to get back to you, you’re my world.”
You start weakly crying and he looks at you dumbfounded. “Hey hey hey… what’s wrong why’re you crying toots?” You gaze up at him and whisper “But what if you’re not okay Angel? What if you can’t get back to me? I’m so scared of losing you. I need you. You’re like my breath, without you my heart ‘ll stop working. You’re so important to me and I just can’t imagine living through this hell without you. Without you I wouldn’t even be living, I’d just be existing, waiting for the day I can be double dead and finally reunite with you. You’re my EVERYTHING.”
He peers back down at you and almost inaudibly says “Well I’m flattered and everything that you think so highly of me darlin’ but I’m tellin’ ya, you don’t need to fear. I’ll be okay. I’m not gonna go double dead until the day ya want nothing to do with me anymore.”
Snuggling in closer to him the tears continue rolling down your cheeks. “Angel you’re so perfect. Did you know that? You're so so perfect it’s not even funny. What have I ever done with myself to deserve you?” Continuing your bawling you tell him “I know I don’t deserve you which is why I’m so scared to lose you. It must be a mistake that I get to have you here with me. You’re meant to be with someone else. Someone else who’s kinder and more loving and less melancholic. You deserve someone who’s just as perfect as you, and can always treat you the same way you treat them.”
“Hey suga’ it’s okay I swear. I think you’re perfect just the way you are. You’re the best person I could ever ask for. I understand ya have a lil anxiety sometimes, we all do. That doesn’t make me appreciate ya any less. I’m not as perfect as you think I am either. If I was then I wouldn’t be here. I killed people, toots. It haunts me damn near every day. When I first got down here I didn’t even know what to do with myself. I was inconsolable, I was just existin’. I eventually made the awful decision to sell myself to Val because I thought it would help me feel somethin’. Instead it just made everything worse.” He confesses to you. “Then I met you. You were the light I had been missin’ for so long. You finally made me feel like I was worth something to somebody. If I didn’t have you who knows where I would be right now. You make me feel so loved I can’t even put it into words. Without ya I would be lost. Ya make the hell we’re in just that much better. So in short, I don’t care how fucked up you are, you are absolutely perfect to me and I don’t ever wanna hear such self hatred comin’ outta ya mouth EVER again.”
Your breathing begins to calm and you feel yourself finally relaxing after getting the days of pent-up anxiety out. “Do you really mean all of that Angel? You swear you aren’t lying to me?” He tacitly responds “Have I ever lied to you darlin’?”
Drying your face off with the bottom hem of your t-shirt, you gingerly lay back down and nuzzle back up to Angel. As you feel lulling to sleep you whisper “Thank you, Angel.” He stays laying with you for a while, softly tracing hearts on your cheek with one of his hands as you fall asleep. You’re his world and he doesn’t want you to ever feel less than that. Once he’s sure you’re asleep he swiftly moves his head down and gently kisses your forehead. He lays back down and wraps all of his arms around you protectively and enjoys your warmth and watches you sleep for a while. He adores you more than you’ll ever know. As he falls asleep you squeezes your waist and even though you’re not awake to hear it, softly whispers
“I love you”
And when he falls asleep, he does so smiling, knowing that you know how much he loves and appreciates you.