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“But you have to listen to me, I mean it, you have to do exactly what I say. Promise?”
“I promise”
But of course, he never actually fucking listens. Red crept in at the edges of Natsuo’s vision and it was anger as much as it was the blood pooling around his brother's feet. Touya looked at him, pale faced and wide eyed and Natsuo knew he needed to get him out of here fast, he’d already lost so much blood, it was a miracle he was still standing. Maybe he was in so much shock that collapsing hadn’t occurred to him yet. On autopilot — its just a fucking ghost — he lights the bones on fire, the ghost wails as its consumed, but he can hardly hear it over the blood pounding in his ears. Touya’s collapsed by this point, something beyond pale now, sickly green and it turns Natsuo’s stomach as he scoops Touya to feel his blood running up his arms. His breathing was shallow and labored and a cold hot sense of dread began to prickle across Natsuo’s skin.
This is bad. This is really bad. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and beelined for the exit. Only slowing to lay gently Touya in the backseat of the car, wedging his jacket under his head, before peeling out in the direction of the hospital.
He hated hospitals. He hated the way they smelled, how bright the lights were. And what it meant that he was there.
He’d stumbled in, both of them covered in enough blood that at least they didn’t have to wait. Touya had been taken from him. He’d watched his brother disappear through double doors as the ER staff tried to get him onto a stretcher as well.
“I’m fine, I’m not hurt,” he felt like he repeated himself a hundred times before the swarm dispersed, leaving him to pace from one end of the waiting room to the other, picking at his nail beds and glancing at the clock above the nurses station that he might’ve sworn was going backwards. It didn’t feel like time was passing, blood and sick skin and the look on Touya’s face flashed through his mind in a torturous loop until finally a doctor approached him.
“You’re the brother of the young man brought in a few hours ago?” he asked without glancing up from his clipboard.
“Yes. Is he ok?” his skin felt clammy and he thought he might be sick. The idea that Touya could be anything other than ok—
“He’ll be alright. He lost a lot of blood. It’s nothing short of a minor miracle he isn’t dead. But he’s out of the danger zone, now he just needs to recover.”
The tension that had been building finally snapped and his knees almost buckled without it to hold him upright. He must have said something in response as next thing he knew he was led to the room his brother was in and he collapsed into the chair sitting next to the bed. He was still out cold, but Natsuo could see his chest rising and falling evenly, the steady beep of the heart monitor reassuring in this moment.
Drifting in and out of sleep, he held Touya’s hand while waiting for him to wake up. By the time the sun rose he was fully awake again, studying the planes of his brother's face, the way the baby fat was starting to melt away, revealing a stronger jawline. Not quite their mothers, but not their fathers either. Part of him wished Touya would never grow up. That he would stay young and small forever, and Natsuo could keep him tucked away and safe like he had been since their dad started dragging them all over the country. This event was going to leave its mark. The first time Natsuo had ever truly failed his brother.
“Why’re you looking at me like that?”
The question snapped him back into the moment. Touya’s eyes were open, and his brow slightly furrowed.
“What happened?”
Everything he’d felt between the incident and now evaporated instantly, replaced with bubbling anger, “what happened? Touya are you fucking kidding me what the hell is wrong with you?”
Touya shrunk back slightly, eyes wide now.
“You didn’t fucking listen!” the chair he’d been sitting in toppled over behind him, “the one thing I asked of you, the one thing you promised me, what were you thinking?”
“I— “
“You what?” Natsuo’s eyes drilled into him, “Thought you could do something? Other than be a hazard? Other than be something I have to worry about and accommodate on top of doing my damn job?”
“I just— “
“You begged to go with me. Dad is going to be furious when he hears about this and it’ll just prove him right about everything. You’re not ready. I’m not sure you ever will be.”
With that the tears Touya had been fighting began to slip down his cheeks, the crease between his brows deepened, but he refused to break eye contact, “you sound like dad already. You’re going to turn out just like him.”
Natsuo’s eyes blaze, “shut the fuck up. You don’t get to say that. Not when you almost died! Because you can’t stand to listen when your life damn near depends on it.”
“You’re such a jerk, you know that? No wonder you’re worried you’re gonna become just like dad. You already are.”
“You already said that, smartass. Are you trying to piss me off even more? I mean seriously Touya— “ he finally registered the tears streaming down his cheeks, dripping onto the scratchy hospital blanket, but with so much determination still in his eyes. Natsuo dropped his head.
“I'm sorry baby brother,” he relented, sitting heavily on the edge of the hospital bed and taking Touya’s hand in his own.
“I don’t care. Fuck you,” Touya tried to pull his hand away but Natsuo held it tight, clasping his other hand over top.
“I know you care. I know I shouldn’t have gotten so worked up. I thought you were gonna die, Tou,” he sighed, bringing the back of his brother’s hand to his lips, “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”
Touya frowned stubbornly, but Natsuo could see the shift in his eyes to the side of anger and he shifted closer, putting his arm around him and kissing the top of his head, which received an annoyed “hey!” but Touya leaned in nonetheless. They pressed close together, feeling the thrum of each other's hearts, breath syncing slowly while Natsuo held him.
“I’m sorry Touya,” he breathed into his brother's hair.
He could feel Touya scowl and braced himself for the elbow to the ribs that came shortly after, but he spoke again before Touya could make whatever cutting remark was hanging on his lips, “...want me to make it up to you?”
He could see his brother’s ears turn red and heard his mouth click shut. Natsuo was sure that once Touya gained confidence in this area it would not be nearly so effective at shutting him up, but for the time being the impact such simple words could have was very satisfying.
Grinning, he kissed the top of his head, “c’mon, Touya, let me make you feel better. Please?”
“Fine. Since you want it so bad. Fucking freak,” but Natsuo could see him shifting under the thin hospital blankets already.
He moved back to the chair, scooting as close to the bed as possible, and peeling back the blankets. Touya blushed bright red, hands splayed to either side of him, still so unsure what to do when Natsuo touched him. And touch him he did. Sliding his hands up Touya’s legs, still soft with sparse, fair hair that had yet to darken. Caught in the messy inbetween of puberty, some parts of him still so boyish and Natsuo cherished these moments he got to appreciate them, knowing how fleeting this time was. He kissed pale thighs, one hand reaching up under the hospital gown to hold his hip, thumbing at the tender skin just under the bone. He could feel a shiver run through Touya’s body and he reflexively squeezed his thighs together before relaxing, making room for Natsuo’s mouth between them. He pressed hot, open mouthed kisses there, worshiping every inch of skin he could reach.
“You’re everything to me Touya,” he bit marks up his inner thighs until Touya jolted, a hand flying to his hair and pulling hard.
“That hurts you fucking dick,” he gasped, pushing Natsuo’s face against his leg.
Natsuo, in turn, kissed each one of the marks sweetly, tongue laving over them until Touya’s thighs were sticky with spit and his dick started to protest against the confines of his underwear. He ran the backs of his knuckles over Touya’s bulge, causing him to buck slightly into the touch with a sharp hiss.
“Don’t move. You’re gonna hurt yourself,” he teased, hand slipping under his underwear and wrapping around his slim cock. Natsuo knew he had yet to finish growing here, his hand covered the entirety of Touya’s dick, tip barely poking out for Natsuo to drag his thumb across, drawing desperate whines from his little brother. He pulled him out, pushing his underwear to the side, pulling it off seeming like it would jostle his brother too much. The rough calluses of his palm drug across soft skin and he placed a kiss to the tip.
“I love you Touya,” he pressed his tongue into the slit, tasting the acrid mixture of piss and precome. He moved his hand down to play with his balls, they fit easily in his palm, and he rolled them gently in his palm, moving his head down to suck lightly on the tip, letting Touya buck into his mouth, cock not yet big enough to trigger his gag reflex, and drag against his tongue. He held him there in his mouth for a while, nose pressed to his pubic bone, inhaling his scent, swallowing the precome dripping down his throat. The hand not occupied with his brother's balls pet up and down his leg, letting Touya squirm, and buck and work himself up, gasping and tugging Natsuo’s hair, urging him to do more than let him rock into his mouth. He kept him like that, enjoying the feel of him in his mouth, til the hangs pulling his hair became too sharp and insistent to ignore.
Shifting up into a slightly better angle he pressed his tongue flat against the underside of his brother's dick, dragging up from root to tip to suck the tip again before swallowing him down again, drool escaped the corners of his mouth, dripping down his shaft onto Natsuo’s hand where he smeared it across his balls and to the tight pucker of his ass, pressing the pad of one finger teasingly against his hole. He listened to Touya moaning and felt him tensing and knew he wasn't going to last long, still too young to have any stamina. His brother quickly spilled into his mouth and he swallowed eagerly, licking Touya clean until he pushed his head away.
Natsuo looked up at him and pressed a kiss to his thigh, but his brother avoided his eyes, chest still heaving, “feel better baby brother?”