Chapter Text
Chan is good at hiding his feelings. Always has been, especially since he was a kid. He was the responsible older brother who made sure Hannah could have everything she possibly needed with gentle support and the aching care he took to ensure she had someone to confide in, advocate for her, and help her navigate life and every curveball it threw at her. Sometimes this resulted in Chan ignoring his own needs or even forgoing his own adventures. More often than not, he would stifle and suppress any emotions he felt might take over to not take up too much space. He wanted Hannah to flourish and grow and thrive. And if that meant he didn’t always have a confidant, then he knew he could always rely on his instincts and himself.
That is until Stray Kids formed and he felt connection and community and reciprocity in the friendships built between him and the boys. Yet, it’s different with Changbin. It always has been. He can see right through Chan and read him like an open book. Flick to the exact page of distress, and though he’s only known Chan for four years, he’s able to at least detect when something is off if not always being able to pinpoint exactly what the cause of distress may be. This is great. Wonderful even. If only it hadn’t caused the first catch in Chan’s step that had him stumbling fast and hard, head over heels in love with Changbin who he knows quite possibly doesn’t and will never feel the same.
“Chan? Earth to Christopher?” Felix waves a hand in front of Chan’s face, and it startles him out of his disconnected gaze and jittery nerves. They’re in the recording studio today, and Chan is sick with worry. He realizes belatedly that he should’ve taken today off. It’s for a ridiculous reason, in all honesty. Hannah is just getting her wisdom teeth taken out. It’s not a serious procedure by any means. Thousands, maybe even hundreds of thousands of people get this surgery done every year. Yet, the thought of Hannah in a bed, helpless and at the whim of a dental surgeon, who Chan undoubtedly believes is evil, makes him nauseous and causes his thoughts to spiral.
“You okay?” Minho asks.
Jisung reclines on the sofa, limbs outstretched, legs cradled gently in the lap of his boyfriend. Minho taps a gentle beat to Jisung’s left shin and Chan watches in amusement as Jisung nods his head to the same tune, eyes closed, completely at bliss. His heart aches for something like that.
“Isn’t Hannah’s surgery today?” Changbin asks.
Chan’s eyes latch onto Changbin’s concerned frown from across the room and he swallows past the lump in his throat that forms at the thought of Changbin remembering something as random as his sister’s surgery. “How did you–?”
“You mentioned it the other day,” Changbin says with a shrug. “We were getting coffee on the way to the recording studio. We were running late. You were talking a mile a minute about your fears about the pain she’ll be in and how you don’t trust the dental surgeon because he flirts with you whenever you go to the dentist. You think that’s unprofessional.” He smiles softly at Chan and the way Chan’s heart stutters at the sheer perfect memory Changbin has while simply getting coffee leaves him speechless.
“Right…” Hyunjin says with a long pause that follows. He eyes Changbin with a suspicious look that Chan can’t place, but it causes a flush to blossom across his friend’s cheeks and Chan finds that endearing.
“Are you picking her up after we’re done here?” Felix asks. He sits in the corner by the window. The sunlight casts his golden hair in even brighter hues, nearly forming a halo around his head. Jeongin reclines next to him, head in Felix’s lap.
“Yeah, I actually should probably go now.” Chan checks his watch with a sigh. He can't even imagine trying to navigate traffic let alone show up at the imbecile dentist’s office by himself. He just wants to take care of Hannah. Not have to deal with suggestive remarks and ogling gazes.
Changbin speaks up at that moment, already standing up and reaching for his keys. “I’ll drive.”
Chan's refusal dies on his lips, a declaration that he can handle this on his own faltering when he meets Changbin’s stern yet not unkind eyes. The warmth there, in the caramel flecks that seem almost iridescent in the intense lighting of the studio, settles Chan’s nerves and he smiles back at him.
“Thank you.” Now, once and many times over, Chan is grateful for Changbin. The cracks in his armor, the guards he keeps in place to not let Changbin get too close to see the effect he has on Chan clatter to the floor when Changbin’s hand slips in his own. Flushed skin and ricocheting heartbeats against his ribs are his only tell that he wishes for more.
“Ah! Chan-ssi, it’s great to see you,” Dr. Choi says with a smile that has Chan’s skin crawling.
“Likewise,” Chan lies. He scans the waiting room in search of his sister, but she’s nowhere in sight. His eyes flicker back to Dr. Choi. “Did Hannah’s procedure go as planned?”
Dr. Choi’s smile is lascivious. His eyes scan Chan’s form. Chan feels Changbin tense beside him. His friend’s arm wraps around his shoulder and pulls him in closer. Changbin speaks up this time. His agitation is apparent in his tone and the way he grips Chan’s shoulder with a pressure that has Chan leaning into him. "He asked if his sister is okay."
“Channie!!!!” At that moment, a dental assistant leads Hannah out of one of the backrooms and into the lobby. As soon as her eyes land on Chan, she screams his name. Chan’s previous irritation diffuses and he breaks into a smile at his sister’s puffy cheeks and irresistible happiness.
“Hey, Hannah,” Chan says, letting the nurse guide his sister so she’s leaning against Changbin. She squints at him and then pokes his cheek. “What are you doing here, Binnie?”
Changbin smirks at Hannah’s antics. “Just helping out Chan. He needed some moral support to take care of you.”
She scoffs and then a mischievous smirk crosses her face. She leans into Changbin conspiratorially, meeting Chan’s gaze before whispering into Changbin’s ear. Whatever she says has Changbin blushing a scarlet so deep Chan feels a sudden panic take over him. He leans Hannah into him and mumbles an apology to whatever she could have possibly said to Changbin, but his friend just flushes harder and darts his eyes away, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. He finally meets Chan’s gaze, the corners of his lip turned into a shy, bemused smirk as he waves away Chan’s apology. Chan files questions for Hannah away for later, but in the moment, he basks in the way Changbin’s eyes keep catching his own and the subtle way the backs of their hands touch when they walk back to his friend’s car.