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Peggy gave her a look that was almost apologetic, but lately it was about the only genuine expression she had seen on Peggy’s features, behind her many, many walls of vibranium, and it was just enough now.
It didn’t mean anything anymore.
“Alright, English.”
Her tone is snappy as she brushes past Peggy for the second time this week.
She knows when she’s not welcome, and considering the day she’d had so far, it was the last straw.
Angie pauses, half way out the door before turning back and saying exactly what she thought. And words she knew, she really shouldn’t have.
“Ya know, seeing as the problem was actually me” she tears away from Peggy’s gaze and fixes it on the door her knuckles are white with holding “maybe you were right. Maybe you shouldn’t’a moved in.”
She slams the door behind her, stalking along the corridor to her own room, before slamming that door behind her as well and allowing herself to fall back onto her bed.
There’s a pause long enough for a tiny part of her to start feeling slightly guilty about taking things out on Pegs, but a moment later, there’s soft knocking at the door, and her anger returns full force.
Three short raps. Perfectly professional. Perfectly military. God, she couldn’t even knock like a goddamn normal person. Even her bloody knocks had walls.
“Angie…”
The voice was close to being pleading, something that would have surprised her, if she’d been listening. Instead, she was up, rooting around in one of her drawers for an emergency bottle of schnapps. Soon enough, it was in her hand and she pushed the window open.
“Come and find me when you want to talk.”
Angie heard that bit, but was too busy clambering out of her window and shimmying along the ledge to really pay attention to the sad resignation in her voice. Soon enough she reached the fire escape staircase, and a moment later she was up on the roof.
Her sanctuary, because no one would ever think to look for her up here.
She had wanted to take Peggy here once, to her secret spot hidden in plain sight, but now… a small part of her was glad she hadn’t. A bigger part wished she had however, so Peggy could come and find her and tell her things were going to be alright. That her twin brother was in heaven and that this world was too cruel, and filled with too many horrible things for the most wonderful people anyway.
Come to think of it, she realised the only other person who knew about this place was now living in Armonk, and no doubt pretending Angie had never existed as a part of her life.
More freedom for me, she thought, somewhat sourly. Half the bottle of schnapps vanished over the next hour and a half or so, as Angie sat on the roof, looking out over the New York skyline from the middle of it, and eventually lay on the roof to look at the sky when the sun finally set and all that was below were twinkling lights that somehow weren’t as pretty.
While she was up there, she made two decisions. The first, was that it was okay to mourn her brother, and that crying didn’t make her weak.
The second, was that if Peggy fucking Carter didn’t want to be her friend, then that was fine with her. She had Sarah the slut and Gloria anyway. Heck, she thought, Mrs Fry would probably make a better friend, - at least she’d give it to you straight! Angie giggled at the absurd idea, then paused. Maybe the schnapps was going to her head more than she realised.
She took another, final draught of schnapps, and one last look at the stars, before deciding to head back down while she was still sober enough to get there in one piece. Besides, it was dark and getting cold.
With no need to avoid Peggy outside her door any more, she went for the indoor stairs, and crept her way back down to their floor as silently as a mouse. Or so she thought. Skunk-drunk people are seldom as quiet as they believe themselves to be.
All of a sudden, she got the giggles, which wasn’t helped by the fact that she was having real trouble remembering where her keys were, and then deciding which one of the three identical sets of keys swimming across her vision was actually real. She would just have to try to catch them all. Then, she paused before outright laughing at the absurdity of Mrs Fry letting anyone have more than one key. Geez Louise, you could only give her so many first-borns… only one even… so no one would ever be able to get the third key… she was still lost in the trail of thought when she grasped the key, before being rudely interrupted.
Peggy dodged out of the dumbwaiter in full tactical gear, sure she was going to get into her room just fine without being caught, when she saw Angie. Or rather, she found Angie outside her own door, tongue poking out in concentration as she tried to get the key in Peggy’s lock and missing every time, she just ended up hitting the surrounding wood. And for some reason Peggy could not fathom, Angie laughed every time she missed.
“Three… keys….”
After half a moment of shock, and another half of pure disbelief, she realised that Angie was completely lampshaded and going to get kicked out by Mrs Fry if she didn’t intervene. Judging from the fact that she was also still in full gear with several guns in her bag, which she didn’t fancy explaining, she would also be kicked out shortly after if Angie’s laughing brought too much attention. That’s what she told herself. Although truly, her concern was more for Angie having somewhere to live than herself. She just didn’t like to admit she was already attached, feelings weren’t for soldiers. They would only get you killed.
Peggy took her by the shoulders and tried to steer her towards Angie’s own door. But the smaller woman was having none of it.
“Oh noooo you don’t Peggy Carter. I am a strong, in’erpen’ent woman who don’t neeed no man… woman… person” she jabbed Peggy’s chest with her finger “to not be friends with! And steer people! I am juss fine on my own. Yep, just me and Mrs Fryyy, are gonna be very happy together thank youuu very muchhh...”
When she started singing the last of her words, Peggy figured she was not going to listen to reason. So, she hoisted the Italian up, over her shoulder, ignoring the protest of her bruises, and opened the door to her own room.
By the time Angie realised what was going on, they were both safely locked away from prying eyes in Peggy’s room, and she had set Angie down on her bed before going off to the bathroom to change into something less… spattered in blood.
Unfortunately, Angie followed her.
“Hey Pegs, why’a ya dressed like- Woah… whoops”
Angie covered her eyes with her hands and giggled while Peggy attempted to cover her underwear. Of course Angie would appear the moment all her gear was off. Literally.
Angie parted her fingers and took a peek. Damn… She knew English had a great figure but crap English was fit…! Who knew girls could even have a six pack? She kinda wanted to touch it… but Peggy had found a towel and hidden her torso.
“Lookin’ good there, English.”
She grinned as she watched Peggy’s cheeks flush. The unflappable Peggy Carter, was totally flustered in her towel.
“Ah… thank you, Angie. Would you mind, just…” she pushed Angie out of the bathroom unceremoniously and closed the door between them.
“And I thought we were friends!”
Was the only hollered response she got from a very, very drunk Angie.
There was a beat, when Angie sobered up slightly. Enough to remember… certain things.
“Oh no, I forgot. You’re too busy pushing everyone away to have any.”
Unlike earlier, her words weren’t laced with bitter undertones, simply a statement that wiped the smile off her face as she recalled the last interaction they had had. Or rather, the serious lack of one.
She fleetingly entertained the thought that maybe she shouldn’t have taken it out on English, and maybe Pegs did have valid reasons for brushing her off… but why she didn’t feel like she could trust Angie, was beyond her. She had taken a leap and trusted Peggy that very first day at the Automat. Of course the killer legs, luscious lips and quick wit had helped… Angie was a sucker for a beautiful woman… but still, for some reason, Peggy still wasn’t on the same page.
It was all mighty unfair.
Angie was just pondering these things when Peggy re-emerged from the bathroom looking a lot less pink, and a lot more adorable in penguin pyjamas. She quickly covered them up with the robe at the end of her bed.
“I should go…”
Peggy took her wrist as she past.
“I’d like to tell you… some things.”
This was already harder to verbalise that she thought it would be. And she’d known it was gonna be tough.
Angie paused.
She’d thought the alcohol was wearing off, but surely it must still somehow be affecting her ears. Surely she hadn’t heard that right?
“Although I can’t tell you much about my current… situation, I’m afraid.”
She caught her gaze, soft and open for perhaps the first time Angie could remember. She nodded, and they sat together on Peggy’s bed.
And Peggy told her, bits and pieces, about growing up in London. Angie asked about her family, and she told her about their silly traditions, like watching the fireworks on Primrose hill every New Year’s, even when she was little and it was freezing cold, come snow or mud they would trudge up (what felt like a ginormous mountain when she was little) to see the sky illuminate with various coloured light explosions. She told her about becoming an army nurse after her parents died. At her mention of the war, she didn’t miss Angie stiffen slightly. From the sudden avoidance of her gaze, Peggy guessed easily enough Angie had lost someone too.
“What was his name?”
Angie paused. Now or never…
“Tommy. He was my older brother.” She cleared her throat. “That’s when I started getting… ennui.”
Angie looked back to Peggy’s face for any sign of judgement or pity, ready to run a mile with some excuse of an early shift tomorrow… until she saw a small smile of understanding. She very nearly laughed to herself, of course Peggy would be understanding, Peggy was damn near perfect.
“How long?”
“Three days before the war ended.” Angie let out a wry smile as Peggy looked at her with disbelief.
“Of all the rotten luck…”
“Tell me about it.”
Peggy paused, as she did the maths.
“Wait… it’s… it’s his anniversary today.”
Her voice trailed off as the pieces slot into place and the dawn of realisation settled over her features. It explained a lot of Angie’s behaviour recently, and her slightly more dramatic (than usual) reaction to Peggy’s brush off earlier.
She felt like an idiot.
“How could you know? I didn’t tell ya. Even I don’t expect you to read minds, Pegs”
Angie shrugged slightly awkwardly, before a moment later Peggy’s arms were wrapped around her in a tight embrace.
“It’s alright English, I’m alright.”
Although her tone didn’t waver even a fraction, Peggy felt a drop of water fall on her shoulder a moment later, before feeling another tear streaking down the cheek pressed next to her own.
“You don’t need to be, my darling.”
She pulled back slightly, to meet blue eyes.
“You are allowed to feel anything, and everything, you are feeling.”
Angie brushed the tears off with the back of her hand before swatting Peggy’s shoulder gently.
“Don’t go gettin’ all serious on me now, English. People might start to think you care.”
She meant it as more of cheeky diversion more than anything else, but the comment still threw Peggy slightly.
“I do care.”
She pulled Angie close again. Whether it was to offer her comfort or seek it, she wasn’t sure. Probably both. Although the proximity meant her whispered words were heard, whether she was ready for them to be, or not.
“More than you know.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Angie pulled back this time, as much as she wanted the comfort that came with Peggy’s embrace, she needed to try and read her face. She took Peggy’s hands in her own and held them gently in her lap as she studied Peggy’s expression, maybe she would give something away for once… No such luck.
“Oh it’s nothing, Angie really I-“
Angie squeezed her hands.
“Don’t you dare, start holdin’ out on me again Pegs. Go on.”
“There’s nothing more to really say…”
“Oh goddammit English I thought we were making progress”
“We… well, we are, but-“
“No! No buts! I want to hear it. Good or bad you can tell me-“
Angie was cut off by warm, soft lips pressing against her own.
It was rushed, and slightly hesistant, but it was still the best damn kiss Angie's lips had ever felt. And the rest of her too, if the swirl of emotions in her tummy were any measure to go by.
Peggy broke off, looking… nervous? Nah, that’s can’t be it, Angie thought, Peggy wouldn’t know how to be nervous if a freight train was coming at her. She’d probably square her shoulders and take it on. And she’d probably win…
But for once, she was wrong, about Peggy not being nervous. Whether she could take a freight train was still up for discussion.
“Angie, I-“
Angie closed the small distance between them once more, ending it with a small lip nibble that earned her a positively sinful moan. She spared a single, solitary thought to the unfairness that Peggy could make such a noise, and the delicious things Peggy did to her with only a noise, before turning her attention to Peggy’s neck and sucking, wondering what else she could do to get Peggy to moan…
They really were going to have to stop kissing each other midsentence if they actually wanted to finish a conversation sometime.
Although, in fairness, they did manage to continue the conversation the next morning, while Peggy snuck Angie breakfast in bed.
“Feeling any ennui this morning?”
Despite the teasing tone, Angie caught the undertone, and she considered for a brief moment.
“I’ve been better,” it was an honest reply. As much as she was giddy from spending the night between English’s sheets and now knowing more of why Peggy had been trying to keep her at a distance, (as well as now knowing Peggy more, period,) she was still allowing herself to mourn her brother. It was all rather mixed really “but I’ve also been a helluva a lot worse.”
She grinned, and pulled Peggy in for a soft, slow kiss.
“You’re incorrigible.”
Peggy grinned, and pressed a kiss to her cheek before Angie let go.
“And you love it.”
She laughed.
“Well, I can’t argue with that.”