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Max pushed her shopping cart idly, glancing at what remained of the Wegman’s candy aisle at 4 pm on October 31st. There were a few stray bags of Almond Joy and Mounds, but not much else.
At least the candy people have the decency to put all the shitty stuff together, Max thought, smiling to herself at the idea of dozens of people walking through this same aisle and coming to the same conclusion, which was of course that Almond Joy is worse than nothing at all. Giving up on candy, Max looked for some other individually-wrapped trinket to hand out to the kids in the neighborhood.
She spent several minutes considering rubber rats and spiders and red wax lips. All of it just seemed so wasteful, and Max cringed at the idea of increasing demand for such throwaway junk, but well… it was Halloween, after all. Finally, at a loss, she settled on a bag of plastic glow-in-the-dark vampire teeth. She made her way to checkout.
———
Olivia locked her car in the driveway and looked up at the house she shared with her girlfriend, Max. It was pure upstate New York, all ornate wood details and peeling yellow paint. The autumn leaves framed it in such a way that Olivia suddenly felt like she was in a movie, some sappy holiday rom-com where beautiful people languish in perfect houses. She and Max had hung purple string lights from the eaves and porch railings, and the pumpkins they’d carved the day before were grinning from the steps.
There’s something about gay people and Halloween. Maybe because it’s one of the only big commercial holidays that isn’t subtly an advertisement for heteronormative traditionalism, or perhaps it has to do with their willingness to embrace the macabre, but regardless, Olivia was no exception. She loved Halloween, loved when the neighborhood felt busy and full of miniature ghosts, and how for a few days in October, it was perfectly alright to be a bit of a freak.
Olivia thought about this as she walked up the porch steps in her Clark’s desert boots and tastefully faded Levi’s. She wasn’t exactly butch in the traditional sense, but she carried an air of dykishness that was unmistakable. Max, meanwhile, was frequently called “sir” when seen from behind, and occasionally from the front as well. Now, unlocking the front door of their house, Olivia thought of her girlfriend’s strong tanned shoulders and close-cropped dyed black hair. She took a deep breath just thinking of her hard, squarish hands. She opened the door.
“Yello!” came Max’s slightly nasal voice from somewhere in the vicinity of the kitchen.
“Hi,” replied Olivia, hanging her jacket on the hook by the door.
“Busy day?” Came the voice again.
“Little bit. Did you remember to get candy for the neighbor kids?”
Max appeared in the door leading to the kitchen, backlit in the dark entryway. She was wearing brown workwear pants and a tight black t-shirt that showed off her arms. She dusted a bit of flour off her hands and grinned a glow-in-the-dark smile.
“All they had vath Almond Joy, my luff,” Max said in a goofy imitation of a Transylvanian accent, lisping around the plastic teeth. Olivia giggled.
“Who is that?! What are you?” She said between laughs. “You sound like a bad movie Nazi.”
“Well y’know, I never wath much fer imprethsions, li’l lady,” she said, fingering her belt buckle and adjusting her stance to that of a jaunty cowboy, going so far as to tip an imaginary hat. Olivia felt something within her stir, in spite of the silliness. She reached for Max’s big square hand, still loosely draped over the belt buckle, and met her eyes. Max got the message.
“Oh. Hey.”
“Hey.”
Olivia came closer and ran her hands gently over Max’s lean body, untucking the black t-shirt and touching skin only sparingly. Max breathed softly and drank in the contact. Olivia nuzzled into her shoulder.
“Kiss me,” she whispered.
“Juth’d a minute,” Max teased, before catching Olivia’s hands and pulling her in even closer, towards the stairs. Olivia gripped her shirt and pulled her back, causing them both to stumble a bit into the first step.
“No, right here. I want you right here.”
Max looked at her, somewhat exasperated but very turned on.
“Baby, we haff a bed-“ but Olivia was already slipping her fingers under the waistband of her pants and dragging her nails gently over her love handles. Max gasped.
“Livy…”
“Kiss me.”
And she did, albeit very sweetly and gently. She let her hands wander to Olivia’s colorful flannel shirt, then her dark auburn hair.
Olivia found Max’s zipper. Max made a desperate sound.
“That’s a good boy,” said Olivia, jamming a hand down the front of Max’s pants.
“Livy, jesus…”
“Shhh. I’ve been thinking about this all day,” she whispered, finding the fly of Max’s boxers by feel. Max gripped her girlfriend’s upper arms tightly to keep from falling backward into the staircase. Olivia’s fingertips were like ghosts, grazing Max’s clit just enough to get a reaction. Max squirmed in place, still standing. The angle was a bit awkward, and on one pass Olivia applied a little more pressure than she’d intended to, causing Max to let out a positively filthy moan, mouth open, head back. Olivia laughed aloud.
“You’re still wearing the teeth!”
Max looked at her with wild, faraway eyes.
“Pleathe don’t thtop.”
Olivia lost it, burying her face in Max’s sturdy shoulder, tears appearing in the corners of her eyes between peals of laughter. Max reached around her to yank out the plastic vampire fangs, smiling in her cavalier, slightly annoyed way.
“No no baby leave them in… they’re kinda hot,” Olivia said, still fighting back giggles.
Max scoffed. Olivia took a different tact.
“Okay, maybe they’re not traditionally hot but they do kinda make you look like the main hot guy in Lost Boys.”
Max looked at her seriously. “Kiefer Sutherland?”
“Yeah absolutely, whatever you want,” Olivia said, returning to the task at hand. She undid the top button of her flannel shirt and whipped the whole thing over her head, revealing her lavender sports bra and smooth skin. Max stared hungrily.
“Now here’s what we’re going to do- Max, are you listening?”
“Mmhm.”
“I’m going to fuck you, and when you come you’re going to sink those stupid teeth into my neck. Is that clear?”
“Yeth ma’am.”
Olivia got to work, hand back in Max’s pants, first rubbing slow circles, then faster and faster, all the while kissing her girlfriend hungrily. Max breathed heavily, digging her fingernails into Liv’s upper arm. Liv dipped one finger in, then two.
Max’s head began to loll backward as Liv pumped in and out, all the while murmuring “Shh.. shh.. that’s a good boy. You can do it. Come for me honey.”
Max whimpered a bit and ground her hips into Olivia’s hand, craving impossibly closer contact. Olivia worked her fingers faster, her whole body pressing Max somewhat uncomfortably into the steps.
“You’re such a good boy for me.. you’re so- Ow!” Olivia yelped, feeling the pinch of the plastic teeth digging into the muscle of her shoulder. A second later she felt Max’s cunt clench around her hand while her lover shook beneath her. The combination of sensations was so hot that Olivia’s eyes filled with tears.
“Oh baby…” Olivia stared intently at Max’s closed eyes while her lover tried to catch her breath.
“Thorry…wathn’t any…warning.”
Liv looked at Max and smiled. “You’re perfect.” She kissed her on the tip of her nose. Max gazed at Olivia adoringly, then spat out the vampire teeth.
“Can we do it in bed next time? I think you bruised my ass.”