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Ajax pushes Diluc’s hair away from her neck, hungry to bite down. Diluc instantly becomes pliant in her arms, the way she always has when Ajax flashes a smile over the dinner table in the restaurant’s dim lighting. It’s just intimate enough for Diluc to lower her guard.
She shouldn’t be doing this. The word ‘enough’ flies through her head as Ajax’s hand slips under her skirt, thumb stroking the shaking skin of her thigh.
They’re not at this dinner alone, and even if they were, being gone for so long wouldn’t go unnoticed. She should be able to stop herself from wanting this, able to take the step out of the bathroom stall—and then Ajax’s fingers are curling inside of her and she knows exactly why she keeps coming back to check if the poison still works.
Ajax keeps working her even when she’s gasping for words, tapping on Ajax’s shoulder without any force.
Ajax’s knees dig into the passenger seat while Diluc’s heels dig into her shoulder blades. She grips the edge of the seat as hard as she can, trying to remember how to breathe.
She can feel Ajax’s smile between her legs, having always loved the vulnerability car sex brings out in Diluc. It’s sadistic, exhibitionist—and far more than Diluc could ever ask her.
Her eyes fly closed and she lets herself go over and over, to the point where her legs shake and Ajax’s grip on her thighs is hard to feel. She’s only faintly aware of Ajax’s tongue moving against her.
And then it ends, bringing back with it her inhibitions, her hands desperate to hide herself.
“Oh yeah, Mum said to ask you if you want to spend the week at the beach with us,” Ajax drops as she pulls her shirt over her head.
Diluc’s hands fumble with her own bra clasp. “Are you sure?”
“Everyone already knows you and likes you,”Ajax shrugs. “It’s just a trip. Nothing crazy, just casual.”
“Casual,” Diluc repeats, doing her best to keep the bitterness out of her voice. She’s heard the word casual enough times for it to make her want to throw up each time it’s brought up.
Ajax’s hand rests on her thigh, ring-adorned and warm. No one cares, no one has so much as spared the action a glance—but Diluc’s thoughts are consumed by it. It’s not just the summer heat that’s causing her to sweat.
“I’m going for a swim,” Diluc says, prying Ajax’s hand from her skin.
She doesn’t cast a single glance back as she ties her hair up and places her feet back on the sand, wondering what it would be like to walk away like this forever. Summer is almost at an end regardless, which means they’ll be seeing each other less and less soon.
The cool rush of water against her calves drowns out the noise around her. All that’s left is the sea ahead of her and the feeling of wind against her skin. She wades in further, all sound nothing more than a hushed cacophony in her ears.
She keeps going until the water is all the way to her collarbone.
Diluc’s head sinks under the water, escaping the sun’s scorching heat. Ajax is watching her from the sun lounger, waiting for her to surface. For a moment, brief and fleeting, Diluc considers never coming up at all.
Her thumb strokes the red lace flowers decorating the bra cup, still remembering the first time Ajax saw it after Diluc pulled her shirt off.
“You have to wear this every time I see you now,” Ajax whispered, eyes focused on Diluc’s chest. She runs her fingers across the lace. “I almost don’t want to take it off.”
“Don’t have to,” Diluc said, taking Ajax’s hand and placing it under the cup.
Ajax’s teeth tugged at Diluc’s bottom lip then, massaging Diluc’s breast. “God, you’re so fucking hot. Trying to kill me.”
With a shaky inhale, Ajax’s grip tightening, Diluc answered back, “Maybe I am.”
She places the bra in her bag, and then puts the rest of the clothes she’s packed for the trip on top. The back of her hand wipes at the tears escaping her eyes, frustrated that she’d cry at finally choosing herself. Haven’t her friends called her a loser enough for staying as long as she has?
“Packing already?” Ajax smirks. “We still have a few days left before—”
“I’m leaving early,” Diluc says, not daring to look over at her lest her resolve crumbles.
Ajax walks over to her, her expression puzzled, something akin to fear flashing in her eyes as she laughs, “What, too hot for you?”
“No. Just tired of being the ‘girl that you bang on your couch’. That’s what you said at dinner, right?”
Ajax’s thumb runs across the apple of Diluc’s cheek. There is a desperation in the action.
“Come on, baby, you know me. I was joking around, I want to keep—”
“No attachment, right?” Diluc counters, pushing Ajax’s hand away from her face. “Well, I’m done. I no longer want any of this.”
She picks up her bag, checking around the room to make sure she hasn’t left anything behind. And then she pulls out the red bra from her bag, throwing it to Ajax.
“Keep it, burn it, I don’t care. It’s yours anyway.”
“Diluc—!” Ajax takes a step towards her, Diluc takes a step back. “Stay. We can work this out. Change up our rhythm.”
The fear glows brighter in Ajax’s eyes, and some wicked part of her is overjoyed to see it; she laughs. She’s finished with always being the one whose heart nearly beats out of her chest.
“Go to hell.” And she slams the bedroom door.