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Even at night, Dimitri was working himself to exhaustion. His days were quiet, but his nights were even more so. Felix had gone back to Fraldarius for a few weeks, and even though they wrote the entire time, without seeing him in person he felt so utterly alone. He'd gone on strolls in the gardens with Dedue, sparred with Ingrid, and gone into the markets with Sylvain when he visited, but none of it was able to fill the gaping hole in his heart.
The last letter he'd received from Felix had been almost a week ago, informing Dimitri that he would be returning to Fhridiad shortly. Not soon enough. He woke up every morning hoping for Felix's arrival.
The candle flickered and brought Dimitri back to the present. His migraine was back, yet the worst part was that he couldn't pinpoint just one reason why his head pains returned. He leaned back in his chair and buried his face in his hand, sighing. He had more work to do before he could permit himself to even attempt to sleep.
He cowered in his hands when he realized that Felix might come back to him being a whimpering pathetic mess. He could already feel his disappointment. He knew he should sleep, but as he glanced at all the unfinished documents in front of him, sleep would be selfish.
He ran his thumb under his fangs.
He knew he needed blood, but only Felix's was able to satiate him. He could settle for the bags that Mercedes had gotten for him, Goddess bless her , but it wouldn't have the full effect. Not anymore.
Felix's blood was the first and only thing he's been able to taste since Duscur.
Once his migraine soothed enough that he could hear his own thoughts, he continued writing his response to Annette's letter requesting aid in raising money to repair damages caused in a magic lesson gone wrong at the School of Sorcery. There were two letters from Faerghus' minor lords making requests to change trade routes. He started reading the fourth letter and fell asleep at his desk. He dreamed of red.
-
He woke up with weight and warmth around his shoulders. He made a humming noise as he reached for whatever it was keeping him warm, and immediately recognised the fabric that was being used as a makeshift blanket. He smiled, eye still closed, and pulled the cloak closer, burying his face in its fluff. He heard, but didn't react to, footsteps approaching behind him. Hands gently landed on his shoulders, and he let out a sigh, all but melting when the hands massaged the tenderness from his shoulders and back. He let out a long breath.
He was still too tired to open his eye, but he didn't need to; here he felt safe. He could keep his eyes closed and know nothing bad could happen. No darkness could reach him. He smiled when a kiss was placed on top of his head, and finally opened his eye, turning around slowly. He has to stop himself from immediately pouncing on him.
He gazed at the man in front of him, and it felt like he had been away for a lifetime. His hair was just a bit longer. Only Dimitri would pick up on that. His skin was more flushed, probably from the cold, especially during this time of winter. Most importantly–”
“Morning.” Felix smiled back down at him. Goddess Sothis, his smile was so magical. Especially when his smile was for Dimitri. He almost never smiled after the tragedy. Seeing him smile so often as he did felt so… intimate. “Falling asleep at your desk again. Really, boar?”
Well. Some things still haven't changed. It was more of a pet-name than anything now. He liked it.
“Ah- my apologies, Felix. I was hoping to...” he gestured to the mess on his desk, piles of letters and documents. “Get all this done before retiring for the night. But, well,” he chuckled, “we both know how that went.”
Felix shook his head and sighed. Dimitri turned his chair to the side so he only had to turn his head to look at him.
“Welcome back, Felix.”
Dimitri curled his hand around the back of his advisor's neck and pulled him down to kiss him. Felix hummed and smiled, taking a few steps in front of his king. He placed both of his hands on his cheeks and rubbed circles on his skin with his thumbs. It soothed him. He liked it when he didn't wear gloves. Dimitri slumped in his chair, weak to his lover's touch. The Duke’s cloak fell to the floor. Felix broke the kiss and pressed his lips to his forehead, lingering there, they both kept their eyes closed.
He shivered, he wanted to melt into Felix and become one with him. He wanted to bite him, oh so badly. He could feel Felix’s pulse against his skin. It was driving him mad. To make matters worse, he bit Felix's lip. Blood slipped into his mouth and his body shook. He nearly lost all control but–
“ Dimitri! Have you been drinking the blood Mercedes got for you?”
Dimitri's fangs were fully visible now. Dimitri frowned after the adrenaline slowed down enough for him to be able to see him clearly. “I… tried.” Felix pulled back and gave him a worried look. “After the first week, I– it was too difficult, Felix. It is… too different.”
It wasn't him .
Felix dragged a hand across his face and let out a frustrated groan. “For the love of– Goddesses, Dimitri. You've been starving yourself for weeks ?”
Dimitri looked down, ashamed.
They both knew that any longer, and he would've lost his mind.
“C’mon.” He held out his arm. “Drink.” Dimitri knew he couldn't refuse. Not just because Felix would get mad, but because he'd probably go mad if he went a second longer without Felix in his mouth.
He gazed up at Felix with the eyes and pout of a puppy. He gently took Felix's arm in his hands. He placed a kiss on his wrist before sinking his teeth into his delicate flesh. Felix hummed, closing his eyes as Dimitri fed from him. They had been doing this several times a month for years now. Felix didn't even flinch anymore. Though he still needed to rest afterwards.
Dimitri was so drunk from the sweetness of his blood that he wasn't sure how much he had taken. Felix would stop him when it was too much, though. He trusted him. He always knew his limits. So he continued drinking. Felix let out a sigh, reaching forward with his other arm to run his fingers through Dimitri’s hair.
“Hmm… Boar…”
He needed more; he hasn't tasted him in so long…
“That’s enough–” Dimitri drew back, gasping, and gazed at him as though he were his savior. As though he were his king. Blood was dripping down his chin. Felix’s cheeks reddened as he looked away. “You took more than usual… I feel lightheaded, so… I’m gonna lay down…”
Dimitri’s own head was clearing as he licked the last of his blood from his lips and hands where he wiped it from his face.
Felix chuckled. “You should clean yourself up.”
Dimitri nodded, flushing as Felix walked away from him. He scurried into his washroom and grabbed a small towel and water basin. He wiped the bloody mess from his face and hands then dried off with a different towel. When he returned to his Felix, he was snoring in his bed.
He had been on horseback for a day or so. And Dimitri just drank his blood. So, he deserved some shut eye.
Dimitri smiled. It was still early, and no one would expect Felix to work after such a long trip. He climbed into bed with his advisor and pulled his covers over them both. Only now did Dimitri notice that Felix must have lit the fireplace when he arrived, because it was much warmer than usual.
They were facing each other, so Dimitri examined his features. As though he hadn't already had them memorized. He could remember every scar and freckle. Felix's eyes slowly opened and Dimitri noted the flakes of gold amongst the amber.
They’d gotten so used to waking up at slight noise and moments during the war.
“What.” His brows furrowed as Dimitri laughed. He wanted to turn away from him, just to spite him, but he found himself unable to do anything but return the king's smile. What an idiot. “Let me rest, boar .
Felix would always be tired after Dimitri fed from him, but he was almost always able to shrug it off. Taking more blood than usual must've taken a toll on him.
He knew he should let Felix sleep in peace, but he had only just gotten back from Fraldarius. Certainly he couldn't blame him for wanting to hold him close for at least a few hours.
Dimitri pouted at him. Felix almost slapped him for it. “You are a grown man, don’t look at me like that.” Now he wanted to double down. Instead, he huffed and sunk deep into Felix's arms and nuzzled his face into his chest. He liked feeling small in his arms. He was warm, too.
“Ah– It completely passed my mind earlier, but I forgot to heal the bite.”
“Oh. Right.”
He took his hand and raised it to his lips, smiling before pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “May I?”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”
The bite was only small, so in truth, he needn't heal it at all. But he'd rather Felix didn't have wounds caused by him, no matter how big they were. Felix was too embarrassed to admit that he liked having marks left behind.
His claws protracted and he dragged it down his lip, deep enough to draw blood. Another thing they were used to after all these years. He leaned up to kiss him. Felix smiled and obliged.
The puddle of blood pooled in his mouth and his nose scrunched up when he swallowed. “Ugh. How do you live off this?”
Dimitri chuckled, watching as Felix's wrist healed at the same time his lip did. “Well, I don’t really have much of a choice, do I? Besides, I taste nothing. Only your blood.”
Felix raised an eyebrow. “Really.”
“Mmhm.”
“Huh. Okay.” Felix drummed his fingers on Dimitri’s chest in thought. He smiled. “Well, I’m feeling less dizzy now. C’mon, boar.” Felix started to climb out of bed, but was held back by Dimitri, with his arms around his waist.
“You have been gone for three weeks but only spend a mere half-bell with me? Won’t you stay with me longer?”
Felix sighed and shook his head. But he couldn't hide his smile.
“You’re a fool, boar.” But he did not refuse.