Chapter Text
This is the first occasion in which Karamatsu has stepped foot into this particular convent. Typically the men and women are housed separately and as such the thoughts of entering this place have seldom crossed his mind. The building is similar to his monastery, though, and he feels welcomed in the familiarity of the humble structure even down to the simple individual living quarters, the communal areas designated for group prayer, and the imagery of angels and saints adorning the walls. They are truly the greatest splendor in this otherwise meager establishment. Yet still, an uneasiness churns within him.
He has been called here today under unpleasant circumstances. Now in front of the office in which the nuns meet for financing, political matters, and general dealings with the church, he pauses to make the sign of the cross on himself before entering. No one is inside the room, so he takes a seat in front of the desk as he waits for his tour guide of sorts. There are new nuns and sisters who have been sent to live here after great tragedy has befallen their prior home. He has not been privy to such details as of now, but he calmly reminds himself patience is one of the greatest virtues and he will understand in due time. For now, it's all he can do but calmly wait and speculate why he of all priests has been been volunteered to undertake whatever this task may be.
Initially he felt blessed. He has always enjoyed being held in high regard, made to be appreciated for his selflessness. Upon further inward reflection, he supposes this is very selfish in actuality. Good deeds should be done for their own sake, not for recognition, and he now feels this is a task thrown upon him as punishment to redeem him for less than Christian behavior. He grasps the rosary in his pocket, idly reciting a Hail Mary while convincing himself this is still a blessing, to be graced with the opportunity for penance. Still, the quiet of the convent is eerie and Karamatsu feels ashamed for feeling uneasy in a house of his lord.
A wash of relief floods his mind when he hears the door creak behind him. He looks towards it, hoping a nun has arrived to greet him. Instead, his heart stops at the sight of a plump black cat who has pushed its way into the vicinity and has sauntered with great confidence to rub against his leg. A spike of anxiety surges through him, recollection of all the tales of demon's familiars pounding aggressively in the forefront of his mind. No, he mustn't blind himself with old wives tales. This isn't an ominous sign, but rather the sign of a rural convent with open doors on a chilled day and an animal who only seeks some shelter. This is one of god's creatures, and it has only come seeking sanctuary, like all who inhabit these walls. The cat looks to him with its tired brown eyes and suddenly Karamatsu realizes he's been holding his breath. He bends to pet it, hoping it will soothe them both. Naturally, the cat does not appreciate this and jumps away from his touch, crashing into every limb of furniture and upturning several pamphlets, notebooks, pens, and the like in its fit. It scampers away back towards the door to make a needlessly grand escape, but not before regarding Karamatsu once more over its shoulder.
His blood runs cold, still disturbed by the strangeness of such an animal. It is the right thing to do, so Karamatsu begins collecting the scattered items to return them to their assigned places. He lifts a notebook and stops. It's unlike the others, worn for wear and water damaged. He takes it in, wondering if this is perhaps out of place and if perhaps he should place it elsewhere so as not to further dishevel the already cluttered desk. He flips through the pages and for the umpteenth time since entering the convent Karamatsu is met with enormous discomfort. It's of dual cause. For starters, he has stumbled upon an individual's personal journal. He shouldn't be snooping through the private entries. More importantly, he has had the displeasure of noting upon such words as 'otherworldly' and 'demons.' He has stumbled upon something evil.
Heart racing and sweat dripping down his nape, Karamatsu comes to a crossroads. He remains staunch in the belief that he has no business rifling through these pages. The more he dwells on the idea, however, he ultimately decides if there is evil afoot he must take it upon himself to intervene. He pulls back the cover of the tattered notebook. He steadies his breath as he mentally prepares to plunge into the unknown.
"Forgive me, Father," he whispers and begins to read.
'June 23
Today I begin a new diary. It is the first day in my journey. I have been fitted for the habit and feel blessed for once.
-Ichimatsu
July 1
Adjusting to the life has been challenging and rewarding. Most nights are lonely, but the lord keeps me company and I enjoy the quiet. Daily prayers give my life structure and substance and I'm... I'm actually happy. I have nothing else to say for now.
-Ichimatsu
July 24
I nearly forgot I was trying to keep a journal. Life is boring. My time is only a month in. I'm frustrated and regret this. There are exactly 11 more months before I decide if this is for me. I doubt I'll stay.
-Ichimatsu
September 19
I regrettably have changes to report. When I started logging a diary, it was to track my progress in my period of postulancy. The longer I stay in this convent, the more I believe something is wrong. Strange occurrences are taking place. I mean to track them. For now, I'm going to pray.
-Ichimatsu
September 22
Today the water drained down the sink in the reverse direction. It's weird. Worth noting. I'm not sure what it means. Again, prayer.
-Ichimatsu
September 23
All the hangers in my closet were turned around this morning. I only own three pairs of shoes and someone had taken all the left ones. Originally I thought it was one of the others, teasing me with a rude prank because I'm different. I confronted the women of the house, but the same thing happened to them. I'm worried something otherworldly might be at play here.
-Ichimatsu
September 29
Items continue to go missing. I spent actual days looking for a pen to use. I used to have a bunch. Additionally I thought I saw silverware floating midair. I reported this to Mother Superior, and told her I suspect our home is cursed by demons. She punished me immediately with reciting 500 Our Fathers, but told me it should be my privilege. I'm pretty sure she believed me though. She looked worried.
-Ichimatsu
September 30
I didn't sleep well last night. Something was scratching at my doors and windows, but every time I checked nothing was there. I'm still skeptical.
-Ichimatsu
October 2
Brief notes. Fingers full of glass. Every window and mirror suddenly shattered.
-Ichimatsu
October 19
I have made reports every day but when I return they've vanished. I don't know why I can't seem to keep my thoughts straight. Did I ever write it down? I remember writing it down. There's no evidence of it. Am I okay? Every day feels groggy. Something is here. I'm scared. I shouldn't be writing. The others are scared. God has forsaken this place. I pray this stays on the page. The only problem is for the first time in my life I'm beginning to doubt the power of prayer.
-Ichimatsu'
There are more entries, but Karamatsu is disrupted by the heavy sound of of the wooden door swinging open. He swiftly drops the notebook back to the desk and briefly hopes it is only the cat again as the images of the scratchy words on the lined pages burn behind his eyelids. He turns his head and it isn't the cat. His heart gallops wildly within his rib cage as he calms himself. Or at least, he tries. It's a nun, but the sight is peculiar. The habit is typical for nuns here, with a simple black covering, white wimple, and wooden prayer beads that hang around the neck. Karamatsu is taken aback, though, because he has never seen a man wearing a habit.
"Hello," he stands politely, not one to let this uncommon sight get in the way of common formalities. "I'm Father Matsuno."
The nun, if this is in fact a nun, regards him only with a slight nod. He looks distant, but his expression is less dreamy and more dreary. Nuns tend to hold a rather serious demeanor, so Karamatsu doesn't take this to heart. Surely the nun is relieved to find him here. He is, of course, an important clergyman and has been asked here with dire concern. Never mind the fact he himself isn't certain of what those circumstances might be. He hopes he will come to learn his task soon, and his eyes flit back to the notebook. He hopes he wasn't too obvious. The contents were not very enlightening, but they were indeed foreboding. He swallows and extends his hand to the nun.
"It's very nice to be here and meet with you, uh... Sister?" Karamatsu asks, feeling foolish.
"More like Brother," the nun quips with a grimace and doesn't reciprocate the handshake.
Karamatsu feels more foolish and drops his hand.
"But not even that," the bizarre nun immediately corrects himself. "That would imply I have some sort of... Vocation. I'd be so lucky to cloister myself and never deal with anything but the humdrum of isolation."
The nun stares off again, with impressively more distance. Karamatsu isn't sure what to make of this and briefly thinks he is being put on. But that can't be, and he remains sure of it.
"So then," he begins thickly, stupidly. "What should I call you, my dear nun?"
"Ichimatsu," the nun says his name plainly, more like he is answering an algebra equation after being called upon in class rather than introducing himself to a stranger.
"I'm sorry, what was your name?" Karamatsu tries not to splutter as much as he tries not to remember the name scrawled again and again in that notebook.
"Ichimatsu," he says again, this time with a tone of irritation. "It's Ichimatsu, and don't ask me again."
Karamatsu nods and wrings his hands. It's very difficult to remain composed looking into the eyes of the very person who's privacy he has violated. He's struck with guilt and vows to confess his sin later. He doesn't dwell much on the thought because Ichimatsu addresses him again.
"I've been tasked with escorting you," he explains flatly.
"Ah, thank you, I'm-"
"Don't interrupt," Ichimatsu doesn't raise his voice, but it is suddenly harsh and commanding and Karamatsu believes he would do well to obey.
"Ah, I'm sorry, I-"
"What did I just say?!"
Karamatsu near literally bites his tongue. He's never encountered a nun so surly. Then again, he's never encountered a male nun, either, and supposes there's much still to learn within this order. He remains quiet for now.
"I've been tasked with escorting you," Ichimatsu repeats himself, giving a lengthy pause before continuing, looking to Karamatsu expectantly, as though he is hoping for an interruption and the chance to chastise him again. "Any questions before we start?"
Well, that seemed unnecessary. Karamatsu found it a bit uncomely to have spoken to him so sharply only to invite him to speak anyway. Never mind that, maybe he was one for extreme decorum. Karamatsu decides to tread carefully.
"I've never met a nun... Uh, such as yourself," Karamatsu begins carefully, but proceeds to make an awkward fool of himself anyway.
"Ha," Ichimatsu gives a wry laugh a bit like a snort. "Let's just say I'm putting the convent in unconventional."
Karamatsu smiles a bit at the joke but takes it to mean he won't be getting any straight answers from this person. That's fine, because he would rather remain seen as proper and fitting into the role he's been assigned as a man of importance than be seen as nosy and nervous. He is very nervous though. He gestures to the door, inviting Ichimatsu to walk him through the convent. They proceed, and Karamatsu trails behind politely. After seeing several identical rooms, Karamatsu wonders if this tour is particularly necessary. He's really quite curious as to why he's been called. He's very interested in gaining closure to all the oddities that are piling up. He's quite concerned about whatever it is Ichimatsu is hiding. Once or twice, he squashes the urge to spill that he's read the notebook. He ruminates his options painstakingly, but before long he realizes Ichimatsu has led him back to the entrance with the oversized wooden doors and is yanking one open. He calmly shows the priest to the exit. Karamatsu is very confused but readily obliges and steps into the chilly autumn air. He instinctively makes the sign of the cross and prepares to leave, but Ichimatsu interrupts him.
"Kind of a shitty priest, aren't you?"
Karamatsu feels ice and electricity trickle down his veins and turns on his heels to regard the nun in disbelief.
"I didn't stutter," he continues in a dry drawl. "I called you a shit priest. You came all the way out here and never once asked why we called for you. You're shit."
"I...I didn't want to pry..." Karamatsu feels humiliated and splutters, awkwardly tugging at his stole for lack of something better to do with his anxious hands as Ichimatsu continues scoffing at him.
"A man of such great importance, I'd have thought you could at least show one measly sign of competence. Even an inkling would suffice," Ichimatsu sneers down to the trembling priest, his habit casting shadows and distorting his features. "But, by the Grace of God, the council has determined you to somehow be the best suited to the task. From your weak display and inability to take control of your own responsibility here, I'd have you exiled on the spot. You're quite lucky this is not my decision to make."
"May I be so bold, then, to ask of my duties, Sist- ah, I mean, Broth- I mean, ah, Ichimatsu?" Karamatsu splutters despite his best efforts to steady his shaking voice and limbs, taken aback by the burst of aggression.
"Ichimatsu-sama!" Karamatsu is corrected by the nun's booming voice.
"Yes, Ichimatsu-sama, yes, of course," he cowers, perplexed by the heated atmosphere and his sudden fear of a member of the parish who is traditionally considered below him.
"Ask me kindly," Ichimatsu commands with narrowed eyes in feigned sweetness.
"Ichimatsu-sama, please, inform me of my assignment so that I may do right by the way of the lord and bring peace back to this diocese," Karamatsu genuflects extravagantly before the nun, deciding the price of his image as a noble priest can be restored once he's finished all but groveling for information.
"You have been chosen to perform an exorcism," Ichimatsu's voice resumes its prior monotony and Karamatsu rises to his feet.
There was no chance he'd misheard. Fear and realization pool in his belly. All the pieces are coming together and Karamatsu feels ill. Of course. He now assumes Ichimatsu is behaving this way defensively, and is goading him into bravery. There's no chance a nun would be so bold and crass without good cause, and so he figures it must be well founded in horror. He's merely pushing the priest into finding his new bearings as some sort of savior. Karamatsu feels revitalized and strides back to the threshold to grip one of Ichimatsu's hands with both of his own. He drops to one knee and presses a chaste kiss to Ichimatsu's knuckles. The nun pulls away, but Karamatsu only holds him tighter.
"You have my word as a man of the lord that I will find my strength through the almighty. I will do everything within his power to fulfill this order," he promises, shaking yet sincere, and maybe a little verbose.
"Go home and pray," Ichimatsu instructs him with a grimace, shaking his hand as though he has touch something soiled.
Without so much as a chance for allowing him to respond any further, Ichimatsu is already closing the heavy wooden door in his face. He's now standing alone with his thoughts, terrified of what may come. His hands hang idle, so he puts them to use by way of gripping the prayer beads he nearly forgot were within his pockets. An exorcism sounds risky. He ultimately decides that god will answer him, should he pray long enough, and he should heed Ichimatsu's advice. He lies to himself and convinces himself everything is fine. The fear gripping his heart is immense, but he can only imagine the terror Ichimatsu must have felt in the old convent and he resigns that it will be much better for him to bear this burden. He vows to redeem this world of its evils as he heads back to his quarters.