Chapter Text
She saw the Chantry explode in a tower of light and fire. The Chantry- the people- burned and her heart broke. One half held onto the hope that Anders, her Anders, couldn't have meant for this, and the other wanted to protect the innocents and punish his betrayal.
"Why?" the choked-out disbelief hung in the air like the embers dancing from the fire.
"I had to. Without justice for-"
"There is no justice here. You are an executioner, Anders." She paused for a moment, contemplating her verdict. "I can't kill you. That doesn't mean I don't want to."
She listened with deaf ears to the testimony of the template, the mages. It all boiled down to the same story told in different voices. They're dangerous. They're too powerful. They're corruptable. She heard her voice, as if from a different being, side with the mages. At least this way she could help Bethany. This way she could hold her shattered pieces together.
Fenris left. Part of her left with him.
The rhythm of the fight soothed her; she always had a violent temper. In her moments of clarity she wondered how she had gone so wrong. She lost everyone she ever loved, in one way or another. Carver bled to death on the road from Lothering. Bethany was trapped in the Circle. Her mother... Was murdered by a monster. Fenris left her. Anders betrayed her. It was a matter of time before time and circumstance ripped her away from her friends too, she mused.
When Orsino's corpse was a quivering pile of slime, she finally took a second to breathe. She said goodbye to Merrill and Isabella. She did not speak with Anders. She hugged her sister. She laughed with Varric. Aveline gave her that mothering smile that told her everything was going to be okay.
"Can you ever forgive me for being so blind?" she asked Fenris.
"I follow you into the Void and you ask me about forgiveness? You are not the one who should seek it," his eyes held steel, but his countenance held a tender promise of tomorrow. A promise that built a tremulous bridge between the hemispheres of her heart.
She gathered her party and marched forth, into the abyss. She shattered rock and crystal to stand victorious and empty. The fanfare chased her to her mansion.
---
He burned from the outside in. His promise- I'll kill you I'll kill you I'll kill you- rang in his skull, worse than any brand. She hurt, that much he knew, but he wanted to prevent, not perpetrate her injuries. He stalked to Darktown. He caught the apostate slinking out of his hole.
"Do not think that Hawke's protection extends over you now."
"She said-"
"What she said is of no concern to me, Vengeance. You will listen to what I say," he snarled. "You will leave. You will not hurt her again. This is your one chance."
The mage nodded stiffly and left dragging his meager possessions with him.