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The first thing I notice as I look out the plane window is that Boston truly is beautiful. Cauler is in the seat next to me, headphones on and listening to music, which I can hear because of its sheer volume. His brother, Shae, is set to pick us up from the airport once we land in about ten minutes. Boston is even prettier in winter, the snow a thick blanket over everything, and streetlamps lit with the setting sun. Cauler nudges me as we’re about to land, a small smile on his face, lip ring glinting in the light with it. I smile back, I feel weirdly calm at the moment, even though I know my anxiety will hit me like a bag of bricks as soon as I meet Shae. But for now, I enjoy this moment with Cauler and look forward to the few days with him and his family.
Shae is waiting for us in the airport as promised and Cauler practically runs toward him. Shae is a little shorter than Cauler, has close-cropped hair, and wears a pair of glasses. I guess bad vision runs in the family. Shae turns to me, standing a few feet back, once he's seen enough of Cauler and I can tell he’s analyzing me. It’s enough to make my skin itch and I have to fight the urge to look away. Instead, I take a few cautious steps forward and hold out my hand for a handshake. Shae glances at my hand stuck out awkwardly, and instead pulls me into a hug. I definitely did not squeak and if Cauler says otherwise he’s a liar. Shae lets me go after a brief moment, “Hi! You must be Mickey. Jaysen has told me a lot about you.”
“All good things I hope,” I awkwardly chuckle. “Obviously, who do you take me for?” Cauler says, scandilized. I roll my eyes at him in response and Shae is shuffling us out the door towards a little silver Toyota Camry, it’s a little banged up and scuffed but I pay no mind. Shae insists that I sit up front with him and I kind of want to throw up. I concede, palms sweating as I slide into the passenger seat. Shae has a Little Trees Black Ice car freshener hanging from his rearview mirror, it sways with every motion of the car. I focus on the lights speeding by outside to calm my nerves. Turns out Shae had no ulterior motives and I freaked out for no reason, because he just chatted with Cauler the entire thirty-minute ride, asking about hockey and classes, and I chimed in where it felt necessary.
Eventually, we pull up to a quaint two-story house, the outside is a faded green and it has a swooping doorframe. The lights are on inside, along with a little porch lamp. I can already hear laughter and conversations. My heart aches. Shae helps Cauler and I get our luggage out of the car and we ascend the steps up to the door. I take a moment to breathe and Cauler glances at me with a question in his eyes, I nod and give him a thumbs-up, a small smile on my lips. He nods in return and we walk through the doorway.
“I’m home!” Shae yells as we cross the threshold. Immediately a small woman comes bounding out from the crowd, there’s at least fifteen people that I can see, how they all fit in this tiny house I will never know. The woman stops in front of Shae and gives him a quick hug before moving on to Cauler, “Jaysen! I’m so glad you made it back okay.” She gives him a peck on his cheek and then finally looks at me. At this point I’ve gathered this is probably Cauler’s mom. She looks an awful lot like him, her hair in locs and piled on top of her head in a bun, she gives me a soft smile. “I’m assuming you’re the infamous Mickey James?” I notice she drops the ‘III’ off my name and I couldn’t be more grateful. “I am, and you’re Mrs. Caulfied?”
“Oh please, call me Lorie. We’re practically family after all.” I blanch a little at that, does she mean Cauler already told everyone about us? All of a sudden the room feels too warm and stuffy. I don’t think I let it show on my face but by the look Cauler is giving me, maybe I’m not hiding it that well. I smile and nod at her, trying my best not to immediately flee to the nearest bathroom. Luckily Cauler swoops in to save the day. “Ma, Mickey and I are going to settle in and get comfortable before dinner.” And with that he walks further into the house, me in tow. I don’t get a chance to look at the interior of Cauler’s house, all I can focus on is his back in front of me, a tethering point so I don’t hyperventilate. Cauler leads me up the stairs into what I assume is his childhood bedroom, based on the hockey posters and trophies. The walls are painted a dark blue, and among the sports paraphernalia, I see a couple of band posters and Polaroids of friends and family. Cauler sits me down on his bed, the blankets soft under my hands. He’s quiet for a moment before he finally speaks, “Are you alright?”
It’s a simple statement, one that could require only a one-word response, but I find myself choking on my words. “Do they know?” I ask him.
“Know what? That we’re together? Or that I’m gay?”
“Both?” He used the word ‘together.’ Are we a couple?
He sighs, “I am out to them, yes, but I haven’t mentioned anything about us.” I feel a little relief at that, and some of the tension leaves my body. “Okay,” I say, “okay.”
“What brought this up?”
I purse my lips, “your mom mentioned that I’m ‘practically family’ and I guess I blew it out of proportion in my head and freaked. Sorry.” I give a little shrug. “Hey,” he says. I look up at him and he’s wearing such a soft expression I feel my heart clench a little. “Don’t apologize for a rational reaction, I know you’re not out and I can see why your brain would jump to that conclusion.” He leans down to give me a soft kiss and I melt a little at the touch. I can feel a smile crawl onto my face and I return the kiss before standing up. “Okay, let’s go hang out with your family, I haven’t even met your dad yet, nor seen Shae ‘get into it’ with your ex-uncle.” The smile Cauler gives me is so blinding I almost have to shut my eyes, “it’s very entertaining, you’ll have fun.” He stands up and gives me one last kiss before leading me out of the room and down the stairs, the laughter from before only having grown, except this time I can hear Shae yelling about something. Cauler gives me another grin and squeezes my hand. At this moment, I can barely remember what I panicking about moments before.