Chapter Text
Prologue
It was a magic that came long before the Grisha, before the Darkling, something so ancient that it could never be learned.
Some say it was born along with the legends of the Saints, a knowledge that became forgotten after the Fold tore Ravka in two. Some say it was a magic so dark that not even Hell would be able to accept it. And some say, that those who were able to witness its potential, firmly believed that no human should ever be born with that kind of power.
Changing your nature and shape within seconds, forming a beast out of your own bones, tearing your skin and flesh apart only to pull it back together into some creature out of a nightmare, then turning back to human and laughing, smiling, like you are not something out of another world.
People feared the shapeshifters almost as much as the shadow summoners, and even before he became the Darkling and made the Fold, he felt a kind of nerve creep up on his spine at the mere mention of their kind. Especially when it was about the family that lived only a few miles from Os Alta. It was only a strange coincidence when he unleashed his power and made the Fold, that the family had been traveling to Os Kervo to visit the other half of the family. They had been turned into vile creatures, Volcras.
But that still wasn't as much worse as what waited for the family that stayed in Os Alta. An aunt, her son, and her two nieces. They didn't stay long after the news of the Fold reached them. They packed every essential and escaped during te cold winter night, thankful for the shadows and the snow. But luck was not on their side for long. Grisha men, sent by the Darkling himself found them as soon as they left the city. All of them died that night, except one of the nieces.
Her aunt told the kids to shift into an animal, but sadly none of them got the proper training yet, except that niece who was only a year older than the rest. She quickly changed into an owl and flew away. The men mistook her for the bird, so they let her go. She watched the remains of her family burn, until there was nothing but ashes of them left. The screams she heard that night would haunt her for the rest of her life.
After the incident, she flew to Os Kervo, to the other part of the family that she hoped would still be alive. Hopefully, she found them, but after a few days, they were on the run again. They need to take a ship and separate. Some wanted to go to Novyi Zem, to the countryside, others to Shu Han and Kerch. The niece wanted to go with her two other cousins to Kerch Island, dreaming about a life where she wouldn't have to run ever again. Her luck seemed to finally leave her side, when upon arriving to the ship, the Darkling captured her and her family.
They were prisoners for crimes that didn't even exist, thrown in dark cells with no light and no food, slavers to the Darkling's twisted mind, people to experiment on even after multiple failed tests. Their life from then on consisted of nothing but pain and torture. The days turned into weeks, months and years, but it all seemed one endless moment for them. No one knew what happened between the walls of that prison they called a laboratory. Their blood were taken, injected with drugs and put back in their system, their bones got cut off just so they can order them to grow it back and cut it off again.
Death would have been a blessing. And every time they felt its dark claws slowly pull them into the depths, they got taken care of, cured, only for the experiments to go on. The Darkling didn't let them live, so why would he let them die? Especially after he found out shapeshifters can live for centuries, just like the Grisha?
The torture went on for at least a century, before one of the young guards had the chance to help them escape. He tried rescuing all of them, but they told him to take the women first. They would have told him to take the children too, but those little kids were now grown-ups. The guard did what they asked and helped the women escape. It was the dead of night and no one asked him how he got the other guards unconscious, they were just relieved that they could finally leave.
The niece was yet again one of the only ones left. The guard took them to a carriage that was waiting for them to go to the harbor. When he came up with the men, a shot rang in the air, and the man he was carrying collapsed on the ground, with blood pooling around his head. They wanted to shapeshift, but everyone was still tired and weak from the imprisonment. Six women and eight men escaped the laboratory. By the time they got to the harbor, only four of them were left.
The niece who escaped from Os Alta, her two cousins, and her uncle. They all watched as their family got killed in front of their eyes, and they all felt guilty for not being able to help them. They were all exhausted, hungry, and hopeless. They tried to keep their loved ones from bleeding to death, but each time they failed. The blood still stained their hands, under the warm fabric the guard gave them.
He knew he couldn't stay and that he had to give up his life in Ravka, but it didn't feel like a mistake for him. He got to free these poor people, and someday they might be able to expose the Darkling's sick secret. If they let him help.The five of them got on board, and after the guard let them into one of the rooms on deck, he only asked them one question:
"Where do you want to go?"
Four heads turned to him in shock. They expected him to just leave them in the harbor, or sell them once they were on board. He didn't. He told them the ship docks in Shu Han, before it makes its way to Ketterdam, and later to Novyi Zem. The two cousins decided to go to Shu Han.
When they docked, the young guard gave them some money and a piece of paper, with a cheap inn's address on it. In the last minute, the uncle decided to stay with them for a while, wanting to protect them while they made a new life for themselves.
The niece wanted to stay with her family, she didn't want to be alone, but the thought of a new life was something that she couldn't give up. And the fact that whenever she looked at them she could only see the lifeless bodies staring back at her, making her stomach turn and bile rise up in her throat. It was a feeling she didn't want to experience in her family's company. So she bid them goodbye and got on the ship to sail to Novyi Zem.
In the next few weeks, she and the young guard got closer. They wouldn't have called it anything romantic, but both of them felt like they found a great friend in the other. The guard constantly teased the girl with all kinds of knowledge, and she listened. She never spoke to him about anything. But in the few rare moments she did, he drank her words like they were the first sip of water after walking through a desert.
And after docking in Novyi Zem, they moved to the countryside, slowly getting accustomed to each other, living together and painfully slowly falling in love with each other. The girl would never admit it, but she was the first to fall.They had two children: a son and a daughter.
Both healthy and strong, happy kids. As time passed, it started to become noticeable, that only the son had the abilities of a shapeshifter. In Shu Han with the two cousins, one of them had three kids and only two of them had the ability, with the other cousin and her two kids-only one of them. With the uncle, it was his only child that had no magic.
By the time Y/N Orlova was born in the morning sun in Os Kervo, the magic no longer flowed through her family's veins. It had died out generations ago.
Or at least, that's what she had been told.
Raffiel, her brother, was four years older than her, and he had already discovered the magic in himself, making requests to their mother to teach him. Their mother was one of the last remaining shapeshifters in the world, along with her two children.
And when Y/N turned four, she told her brother about the powers she had, but her brother always turned her excitement down. He didn't want to, but he also didn't want her to be disappointed by their mother, because she couldn't face her true self.
The girl turned eight, nine, and on the night of her tenth birthday, her brother sneaked them out of the house, and showed her the few things they can do with their magic. He had turned into a big brown dog, the one he knew her sister liked to pat on their way to the market. Y/N looked at him with both confusion and amazement, and when he turned back, she bombed him with questions. After he calmed her down, he told her everything he learned so far, and showed her how to do it. It took them almost all night to finally get her to transform into a cat, and it took them two hours to get her to turn back.
After that night, it became a habit to sneak out every two or three days and practice. Two years and many many lessons later, they were able to shapeshift in an instant into anything (or anyone) they wanted to.
But it was also two years later, that their parents died. It was quick and harsh, and done by none other than the Darkling. He became so paranoid after the incident in the laboratory, that during the grisha's testing he also tested kids for shapeshifting.
Every time the tests failed, he became more and more relaxed. Maybe it was Raffiel's fault for being out so late, maybe it was Y/N'S for begging for ten more minutes, but nonetheless, one of the patrolling Grisha guards saw them and reported it back to the Darkling.
He was quite busy with finding the Sun Summoner at the time, but the news about living shapeshifters immediately caught his attention. He sent three Inferni's to their house. When the kids father saw them, he told them to go and hide behind the bushes in the garden. Y/N was old enough to understand the fear behind her father's words and silently followed her brother.
The kids sat down behind the bushes, even slightly covering themselves with it. Through the small window of the kitchen, they saw the men standing in front of their parents. They couldn't hear what they were saying, but when one of the Grishas slapped their mother, Y/N was on her feet ready to burst into the house, if Raffiel didn't pull her down in time.
One of the guards looked their way through the window, but couldn't see them so he walked back to their mother, who was holding the side of her face. They saw their father grabbing the rifle from behind him and smacking it on the man's head. He collapsed on the ground while the other two throw a ball of fire on their father's arms and on the wall. The house caught on fire quickly, but their father didn't seem to care about it.
Before the two men could even take a step towards their mother, he grabbed the rifle with one hand and pushed their mother behind him, while signaling something to her. That was the first and only time Y/N and Raffiel saw their mother shapeshift. She turned into a beautiful female lion. She was so enormous that their father almost seemed small. The two Inferni took a step back, before casting fire into their hands, ready to kill their parents.
Their father fired the rifle without hesitation, while their mother sprinted to the men, trying to tore their limbs apart. Her jaw was clenched around one of the Inferni's torso, ready to bite it in half, when all of a sudden, he dug his fingers into her side, making flames dance around her skin. She immediately let go of him and stumbled back, roaring still in her lion form.
Meanwhile, Raffiel tried to muffle his sister's screams and trying to hold back his own. Tears covered his own face while his sister cried into his arms. Their house was on fire, along with their parents still inside.
The two Grisha threw flames everywhere, before quickly leaving the place. After they left, Raffiel helped Y/N up from the ground and they ran to the kitchen door that led outside. When they opened it, the warmth felt almost scorching as they looked around.
They found their mother in her human form, screaming so loud they had to cover their ears. Their father was crawling to her on the floor when they reached them. Their parents were dying, and they couldn't do anything about it.
When their mother saw them she stopped the screaming and began sobbing. She reached one of her burnt hands out, and both Y/N and Raffiel held it gently. She coughed a few times before looking up at them.
"You need to get out," her sweet voice was no longer sweet, it sounded dry and raspy, so much harsher than it usually was. "Raffi, I need you...to get the box under my bed-" she violently coughed and they noticed their father taking a deep breath, before continuing instead of her.
"There's a bag next to it. Take that too. It's heavy, but you need to take it!" He inhaled sharply. "And promise...promise me, you won't open it, until you're in Ketterdam!" He said and Y/N looked at him with teary eyes.
"No! I won't leave without you!" She yelled, but she felt her brother slowly standing up from next to her.
"No! Don't leave, we have to get them out of here!" Her brother shook his head as he cried and went to their parent's room. Y/N looked at him with disbelief, before her mother spoke up.
"Listen little bird, I need you to take care of your brother." She smiled as the tears scrolled down on her face. "You know he can't cook." She giggled for a second before coughing again, only this time blood stained her mouth. "We love you both."
"No, no, no! Stay awake!" Y/N exclaimed as her brother came back with the bag on his shoulder and box in hand. He looked at his father and sobbed.
"Why are you sending us away?"
"Because you two have something that people would kill you for, and that's your blood. Please, watch out...for the people you...trust." Their father's words became slower as he spoke.
He laid his head down on their mother's shoulder, trying to keep his eyes open. Their mother looked at her children and one last time told them how much she loves them. With a tear stained face, Raffiel led his sister out of the house before it collapsed.
They watched in horror as the ceiling came down, and the house wasn't there anymore. It looked like one big campfire, that by morning will turn to ashes.
The two siblings reluctantly walked to the stable and led their only horse, Jack, out. They got onto his back and went to the city, and to the harbor and to the deck of the ship. It took hours for them to get from the countryside to the city, even with Jack. Raffiel had to redirect them because his gaze often got foggy from the tears and almost led them off the road.
When they reached the market, they led their horse to one of the farmers and with a heavy heart, sold him. It took both of the siblings at least ten minutes to leave the horse behind. They bought their ticket and sailed to Ketterdam.
They didn't say a word to each other nor to anyone. Y/N was never a clingy person, especially not at twelve years old, yet she didn't let go of her brother. He didn't let go of her either. He either hugged her to himself or let his shoulder rest around her, but he always found a way to keep her close to him.It took them a week to sail from Os Kervo to Ketterdam.
When they got off the ship they immediately began walking, without glancig at anyone. Raffiel passed the bag to Y/N, to keep the box steady in his arms. Ghezen forbid someone stole it from them.
They kept walking and walking, until they reached the Financial District and stood in front of a two story house, that looked like it belong more to the countryside than the city. Raffiel knocked twice on the door and heard someone moving to open it. Their aunt's surprised face stared back at them.
"Y/N, Raffiel! What are you two doing here?" She asked but as she looked at their dirty clothes, tear stained faces and realized their parents were nowhere to be seen, she quickly put her hand on her mouth, muffling her yelp. "No. It-It can't be." She said but when she noticed what Raffiel was holding, a sob escaped her.
"Oh my... I'm so sorry, kids!" She got them inside and locked the door behind them. She led them into the small kitchen and quickly began filling the wooden table with food and drinks. She placed water and tea in front of them, along with two bowls of hot soup.
They didn't even lift a finger to eat it. She didn't remove them. They sat in silence, except the sobs and sniffles that came from them from time to time. After a long while, their aunt stood up and wiped her face with her hands.
"You two sleep in my room tonight, I'll sleep in the guest room. And tomorrow...tomorrow we'll figure everything out." She sniffled and took the bag and box they brought up to her room. The siblings got up from their seats and followed her.
Their aunt brought two more blankets and some old shirts and pants for them to wear. She brought towels too, if they felt like washing themselves a little. None of them slept that night.
Y/N slowly dozed off, but Raffiel had to put her back to sleep multiple times after each time she jolted up. He didn't mind that he couldn't sleep. Taking care of her sister took his mind off their parents. And their aunt? She didn't even try to sleep. She was up all night in the guest room, trying to find a way to arrange a small funeral, figure out how to raise her niece and nephew, how to keep them safe in this city.
By sunrise, she was dressed in her casual outfit, basket on her harm, and at least four list of things she'll need. She tip toed around the house not to wake the kids, though she suspected they haven't slept either. She left them a note on the kitchen table that she went to the market and she'll be back before lunch.
They spent that year in mourning. They didn't talk to each other much, but they were always there when one of them had a panic attack. They tried to work it out, tried to get out of that constant sadness, but it was like whenever they finally started to get out of it, they saw, heard, or smelled something that threw them back into a dark place.
Y/N was the first to stop crying. After about three months, she stopped crying altogether. She didn't cry, didn't sniffle, sometimes even her eyes didn't tear up. Even when their aunt got shot during a fight on the street, she didn't even tear up. Her whole face fell and shock was evident on it. But no single tear.
She got used to her loved ones dying around her. Sometimes she would reply to things with a harsh, even cruel comment, and it often made Raffiel angry. They had fights almost every week, throwing words at each other that they knew they didn't mean, but in the heat of the moment it felt the opposite.
Her brother slowly started to understand her numbness towards violence. It was her way of coping with these scary things. If she won't give herself time to cry, then she wouldn't fall back into the numbness after their parents' death. Raffiel hated that his sister had to hide her vulnerability. He hated himself too, for not being able to help her anymore.
After their aunt's death, they got to keep the house, but it was just another reminder of the things they lost. It was still better than living on the street, but Raffiel figured that if they don't find a job soon, they will be.
One night, he told his idea to Y/N, and they agreed that the next day they're going to go and find a job. Raffiel suggested that Y/N asks around in bars and hotels for something like a cleaning lady, or a maid. Next day they both went and asked around, and by nighttime they both found a job. Raffiel's going to be a driver for carriages, and Y/N will be cleaning at a club.
What she didn't tell to her brother though, was that she saw a girl a few years older than her at the bar, putting on her coat and leaving the club. She followed her and when the lady went through an alley, Y/N quickly grabbed her coat and took it off of her.
She tried to fight back, but when she turned around there was no one there. Y/N quickly hid behind the corner with the coat still in her hands, and after the lady quickly went away, she put the coat on herself and went back to the club.
She saw the bartender looking at her with furrowed brows. "I thought you weren't gonna stay for the night shift," He said and stared at her. Y/N didn't think before she spoke up, on a voice that belonged to the lady who she just robbed.
"And I won't. I came back for a drink," She said and sat down. She got drunk only once before, on her father's birthday, when she was eleven years old and Raffiel managed to steal a bottle of kvas. She felt like shit the next day and her mother made her clear out the entire stable.
She got herself so drunk at the bar, that she didn't even notice that two angry men came towards her and threw her out the door, saying something about never coming back. The words sounded like they came from underwater.
When she went to an alley and took her coat off, she quickly shifted back into herself and felt that the alcohol somewhat left her system. Her vision cleared a little and the noises around her didn't feel as distant. She shook her head and walked over to the club's door, when the two guards stopped her.
"You can't go in there," one of them said on a low voice, but Y/N just straightened her back and spoke confidently. "I'm in need of a job. Are you looking for someone?" She asked but the guards just laughed at her. She kept her face neutral as the answer came.
"You're looking at the wrong place. This is the Crow Club, not an orphanage." Just as he said those words, a man came through the door and began complaining about the servant girl who drank herself under the table, bothering customers. Then he noticed Y/N standing there, like she was waiting for something. The man asked the guards and they told him she's looking for a job.
"How old are you?" The man asked, and Y/N looked at him confidently. "Old enough." The man's eyebrow rose at the answer. "How tall are you?" "Tall enough to kick your knees out if I have to," The guards laughed at her remark, but the man just smirked.
"And what is your business here?" "I need a job, and it seems you need a servant girl. Since you're already questioning me like you'd do for a job, you can save your time and hire me now." The three men looked pissed, but the one in the middle came closer to her and glanced at her form. Yes, she was shorter than her age, and she definiely didn't look like someone who would kick your ass. Not in that skirt at least.
"We'll get you some high heels, a new dress and you'll look old enough. You're on probation, and your job consist of clearing the tables, collecting the glasses and washing them. Payment's every first week of the month. You don't talk to anyone, you don't listen to anyone, you do what I say," He told her and opened the door to get back inside. The two guards looked a little surprised at his words.
"I'm going to need a name if you want to work here."
Y/N hesitated for only a moment before answering. "Eliza"
"Eliza, your shift starts tomorrow morning at six bells, and ends in the afternoon at two bells. If required, you're going to clean the place too. It won't be a problem, will it?"
"Absoluetly not, sir" Y/N answered and saw the man roll his eyes. "Don't call me sir. My name is Per Haskell, but you can call me Boss, got it?" Y/N nodded her head and the man did the same, before muttering "See you in the morning."
And that night when she was lying in bed, she thought about what she just did. She robbed a woman, stole her identity and job, and probably got herself bound with a club most definitely lead by a criminal. Per Haskell seemed anything but a decent man, even though she only talked to him for two minutes at most.
The confidence she faked in front of him died down as soon as she turned her back to them. She had to keep walking or else she would've sat down and cried in one of the alleys. It was getting dark and she was afraid to stay outside at night without her brother.
But no matter how scared she was, the rush and excitement she felt during those few minutes felt amazing. She knew she should've felt guilty because of what she did, but a part of her liked it just a little too much.
She didn't stop the small smile creeping up on her lips.