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Kaiser audibly groaned the moment he saw Bachira enter Germany's practice room, nearly missing the pass he received from Ness as he did so. The past few training sessions were marked by Bachira's unapologetic flirting and Isagi's insufferable smile, which was gradually becoming Kaiser's least favorite combination within Blue Lock.
He was getting seriously sick of seeing him drape himself all over Isagi, it was bad enough to be stuck with Ness and Kurona, seeing this shitshow seriously messed with his already fragile mood.
He pointedly ignored the questioning look from Ness, quickly retrieving the pass and sending it back toward the midfielder. His attention turned back toward the duo, watching as Isagi's blush crept toward his face at Bachira's suggestive comments.
He couldn't take the idiocy any longer. It was hopeless watching how Isagi never seemed to let Bachira take it to the next level. Isagi was frustratingly competent when it came to reading the field, why exactly did that not translate into his love life?
“Mihya…” Ness groaned when he realized that Kaiser’s attention wasn’t fully directed to their own training.
Kaiser raised his hand in an attempt to placate Ness while he continued to think deeply on the mess that Yoichi really was.
His eyes happened to land on Kurona, who was looking intensely at Ness.
Even Ness was less oblivious when it came to Kurona, and though that complicated situationship was hard to rival, at least there was some semblance of progression there.
Admittedly, Kaiser wasn’t the best at understanding these things either, but you’d have to be genuinely far gone to not appreciate the simplicity of Ness and Kurona. He was never interested in love but he felt genuinely thrilled when his best friend finally came to understand the weight of Kurona’s care.
Kaiser recalled the first time he saw them share a tender kiss, he smiled under his hands at the memory, he would rather drop dead than admit to Ness that he found it cute.
A loud cry from Bachira distracted Kaiser from his newfound fixation on his best friend’s relationship, dragging him to form a twisted idea.
The pointless game that Isagi and Bachira found themselves playing was one that Kaiser was an unwilling participant of, to the point that Noel Noa had to set him aside during practice one day to talk him out of his apparent frustration.
It was frankly embarrassing to hear the chorus of oh’s that came from the original Bastard München lineup. Kaiser’s going to make Grim pay for all the shit talking he does.
He visibly frowned at the memory, temporarily blinded by his own anger at past situations caused by Isagi’s obliviousness, the pass that Ness gracefully sent to his legs is sent flying harshly toward Yoichi’s left leg.
A sickening crash is heard once it makes contact with his target. Kaiser smiles contently at Yoichi’s angry expression, absorbing the instant shift in the demeanor from the two clowns.
Kaiser quickly ran up to the pair before Yoichi had a chance to reciprocate his aggression, though the ball did end up hiting Kaiser’s shin on his way over. He clicked his tongue as he trapped it, sending the ball toward the edge of the room before he continued to approach them.
“Chigirin would have dodged that '' Bachira suddenly spoke coyly, wringing his fingers in Kaiser’s direction. He was surprisingly fiesty for someone who was lingering dangerously close to Isagi’s side.
This was the first time that Bachira had left his direct contact with Yoichi in what seemed like ages.
“Who’s that Yoichi?” Kaiser knew full well who Bachira was, how could he not, the blonde boy was everywhere. Feigning his usual ignorance, he could see the unpleasant expression Isagi was pulling, how easy he was to toy with.
“Bachira Meguru '' The other boy answered readily for him, already moving in to retake possession of the ball as he returned to hold onto Isagi’s shoulder.
“No need for aggression” Kaiser placed his hands up gently above him, relishing in the stage he was setting up. He could feel Ness quietly glaring at him, but that was a conversation for later, he was focused on getting his quiet revenge.
Both Bachira and Isagi were looking at him with bewilderment, wondering what direction Kaiser was going to drag them into.
“Yoichi, when were you going to introduce me to your gorgeous little friend?” The flirty tone that Kaiser dressed himself in surprisingly seemed to take effect on Bachira.
The Spanish forward’s expression became dusted with a light pink blush, Kaiser would be lying if he said it wasn’t the least bit attractive. The realization only served to further contribute to his own disdain of Yoichi’s awkwardness.
“Don’t be rude Kaiser” Yoichi growled at him, shifting on his feet. He really needed to stop being so simple off the field.
“I’m not, he really is beautiful” Kaiser began to move slowly toward Bachira, gracing himself with a soft smile.
“Oh? Gorgeous?” Bachira replied, his eyes shifted to one of understanding, which led Kaiser to realize that Bachira already knew what Kaiser was trying to do.
Any annoyance that came with the blonde figuring out his plans that quickly was replaced with gratitude, at least he wasn’t as stupid as Yoichi.
To further enhance the believability behind his act, he moved to brush Bachira’s hair back. He leaned into him as he whispered, “If you don’t get together with Yoichi soon I’m going to make you regret being here.”
The positioning was awkward, with the translators in the way of his attempted sultry action, but judging from Yoichi’s reaction, it worked.
Bachira pulled away from his hold, just enough to have space to softly twirl his hair, “I didn’t know you felt that way about me”
Kaiser’s eyes widened, what was he supposed to say to that? Ness must have sensed his sudden confusion, judging by his laughter and dependence on Kurona’s body so he wouldn’t collapse completely.
Kaiser groaned internally at the sight, taking in the way that Kurona looked fondly at Ness. The quiet glance held the answers that Kaiser was searching for.
“Who wouldn’t? It’s not my fault that little Yoichi can’t claim what he wants”, Kaiser smiled with a possessive air.
He began to run his fingers across Bachira’s face, watching as the boy under him relaxed to the touch. His mood was soured when Yoichi harshly slapped his hand away.
The anger was immediately replaced with satisfaction as he saw Yoichi snake his hands around Bachira’s waist to fully take him out of the training room.
Kaiser turned to where Ness and Kurona were, silently pleading for them to begin practicing with him once again, they complied silently, all of them giggling about the situation that had just occurred.
Kaiser could only hope that Yoichi would finally grow a pair and properly get with Bachira from here.
What he would come to discover later, unfortunately, was that the only thing more annoying than an oblivious Yoichi would be one that’s sickeningly in love with his boyfriend.