Chapter Text
"You have one new message, recorded today at 3:13 am.”
“Uhm, hello, it’s me.
I know this is a stupid time to call because you're fast asleep; time zones can really be a pain in the ass, can't they?
So, for me it's around seven in the afternoon which means for you it's the middle of the night.
Anyway, I just wanted to call.
I heard people at college talk about a TV drama and about a couple in it. They're called Brian and Justin. Initially, I wasn't listening because it was girls going on and on about how hot the two were and how they were just perfect for each other, but as they began to talk about the plot of the first season I started to listen. Brian is in a high position and Justin is planning on going dancing to be able to pay for college. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?”
The young man gave a half-hearted laugh.
“Anyway, I looked up the Wikipedia page of the show and then put their names into google. It came up with a story about these two characters a fan had written. It plays in a completely different setting and the beginning reminded me a bit of that stupid book ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ but I continued reading it anyways. The author wrote over 20 chapters already and until now it's been a really good story. I enjoyed reading it, but it also made me realize something.”
Here Mairon had paused, hesitation gripping him before he continued.
“It made me realize how much of a coincidence our meeting really was, how much of a coincidence it was that we fit together so well. And it made me realize that, from the beginning, there has been an amount of trust in our relationship that apparently not many people ever experience with anyone, which is kind of hard for me to imagine, since I got used to it over the years and began to forget about the miserable time before.
So much has changed over the last few years. Since I moved in with you my life has gotten much better than I could have ever anticipated. And yes, I'm deliberately saying ‘moved in’ because let's face it, the time between meeting you for the first time and you touching me for the first time I was a nervous wreck, filled with emotions that tore me into all kinds of directions, aroused like I had never been before and filled with an incredible need for something where I didn't even know what it was. And then that one night where you touched me I got calmer but also even more nervous while being around you and that still doesn't make sense. And then there was the night when you took my virginity and I noticed that I preferred being fucked way over fucking...
But in the first time of more regular visits, I was so exhausted some days. It really took a toll on me and my health and I never told you that, but in the beginning, I was questioning my decision to come back to you because of that. And yet I couldn't stay away. You had introduced me to a lifestyle where I'm sure I wouldn't have discovered it any time soon. And it felt amazing. You made me feel so good. Like nobody ever had before. You still do. But there had been another reason to stay. In the very beginning, I was fascinated by you. Intimidated, aroused, maybe a little frightened. But you were so different from everyone that I wanted to know more, I had to know more about you.
You made me feel safe and cared for, even if it was just a stroke over my hair after a rough scene or a ‘good boy’ after I had gotten over myself and managed to do something I previously couldn't. But apart from that, you were a mystery to me for a very long time. I didn't know what caused it, I'm not even sure when it really happened because knowing you as well as I do now you didn't tell me immediately, but it changed when you finally let me in. And it brought a completely new dimension to the previous relationship we had. If you can call everything before that a relationship. Fuckbuddies maybe, but I loathe that term.
You know, this is the moment I realize that no matter, if I continue talking or not this, will send. I can't stop it in any way…
I don't think there are words to describe how happy I was when you opened up to me. Ever since that day, I can't even imagine life without you. I can't imagine how it would be to wake up in someone else's arms, or between someone else's legs for that matter. I can't imagine any other person to submit to, no other person who could guide me the way you do and to be honest... I don't want to.
I never wanted anyone since I met you, not even remotely and I never wanted anyone before as much as I want you. I have never wanted to wake up next to someone in the morning, or for anyone to surprise me while I'm cooking dinner, I have never wanted to kiss anyone or touch anyone as much as I want it with you.
I have never wanted to submit myself to anyone because nobody was ever strong enough, nobody was ever demanding enough. I never wanted to be fucked into oblivion, to be teased and denied until I was crying; I never wanted to be spanked or hit with a cane or whipped until I was near bleeding or couldn't take it anymore. I never wanted to gag around anyone's cock or faint from lack of air because I was choked. I never wanted to have my hair pulled on and be told to remember my place. I never wanted any piercings or tattoos or any signs of commitment. But with you… I crave it. All of it.”
He paused again, a chuckle accompanying his next sentence.
“You came into my life and then turned my whole world upside down. I didn't know what was right or wrong anymore and I came to find I don't care...
Do you remember the first time you rimmed me and I thought it was the most depraved thing one could possibly do to another person? And look where we are now. All the things you did to me, or I did to you. Everything we did together.
Do you remember how I blushed at everything in the beginning? I suppose that more often than not my face had the same colour as my hair. How I blushed even at the prospect of being naked in front of you? How uncomfortably nervous it made me in the early days to always be naked inside your house? And now it's become something that makes me feel safe. I come home, strip, change my collar and no matter how my day was I get calmer.
Do you remember how humiliated I was whenever you bend me over your knee to spank me? And now, I have to be honest, it's one of my favourite positions, whether a spanking will follow or not. There are only a few positions which in themselves make me feel as safe as waking up with your arm wrapped tightly around my chest, but lying over your lap is one of them. With my arms folded under my head and my legs stretched out, one of your hands on my butt and the other stroking my hair and I could purr in contentment.
Actually, I'm sure I did that on several occasions…
But there are also things that haven't changed. When I sit between your legs, just before pleasuring you my chest still tightens with the same excitement as it did at the beginning of my training. When you look at me with that hunger in your eyes, you know which look I'm talking about, my heart still skips a beat. When you tie me up, spread open and on full display for you, whether you decide to watch or not, my heart rate still speeds up. When you leave me waiting after you promised you'd fuck me every minute feels like an eternity. And when you're gone I crave you all the more.”
Another pause.
“I just noticed I've been talking for about twenty minutes straight… Sorry about that, but in the time you've been away I have had a lot of time to think and I got very emotional tonight because I love you.
I love you.
I know you don't know how long it will be until you come back to me.
...
I miss you.”
“End of message, if you want to call back, press 1, if you want to delete this message, press 2 if you want t…”