Archive of Our Own

Dear Diary, It’s me, Kuwabara Kazuma!   

It's been a while! Tooooo long of a while! I kinda feel awkward writing here after so many years, I don't know where to start… well I guess I can start with a life update! Let me tell ya, it's been such a roller coaster, I'm surprised to even be alive writing here haha! After so many years of denial and embarrassment, yes I can finally admit it at my grown age, I have a diary.

For starters, I've officially moved into my first apartment, today actually! It's a lot closer to Uni, and the rent isn't so bad. OH, and I made it to University! I'm about to finish my second year and everything! It was hard to get here too, with all the essays, all the projects, and all the cases Koenma would put on us, I'm happy to report I found a nice balance! All the punks and bullies from back then thought I wouldn't make it, but boy did I show them! 

Back to my apartment! 

It's not so big. My room is a lot smaller then than my room back home, but I like it! I have my own kitchen with an island and it leads directly to the living room! My own room, my own fridge, and my own toilet! Now I don't have to wait for Shizuru to take up all the hot water! Speaking of my sister, she just left to get some groceries while I unpack. What would I do without her

…

We're about to find out now that I'm living by myself Haha!

Urameshi and Kurama just left! Yes, they're still in my life and we're still as tight as ever! We're still alive and stronger than ever, remind me to make an update on my growing powers! Hehehe past me wouldn't begin to believe the new abilities I have now! 

That's besides the point! 

Me and the guys still go on missions, and Koenma has even begun paying for our hard work. I heard from Botan that Shizuru gave Koenma an earful when she explained the importance of school work and having a real paying job to pay for said school. She can be scary sometimes, scarier than half the demons I've faced before. The pay isn't half bad, I was able to get this apartment thanks to it, Koenma you twerp. 

Anyway— ANYWAY! I need to keep this brief, I only have so many pages left! 

As I was saying, I'm still friends with the guys and still go on missions(sometimes solo missions, thank you very much Koenma!) Urameshi has fully integrated into the Ramen business— BEFORE I FORGET, THE JERK FINALLY PROPOSED TO KEIKO! FINALLY! Good for you Keiko! He hasn't revealed who the best man will be, but I'm hoping it's me, being one of his long time buddies that is! I swear I'll kick his ass if it's not me!

Kurama is also in Uni! As expected, Kurama got accepted into all the schools he applied to while I barely got into this one! His school isn't far from my place, and Kurama promised to stop by for a study session, or just to hang out. We're all pretty busy with our lives now, but we make room to see each other. At least we can hang out during our missions… Urameshi finds time every other week to spar or catch up on the latest action movies, and Kurama doesn't have too much free time, what with working with his step-dad, but he makes sure to drop a call to catch up at least…

At least he calls… 

Unlike a certain three eyed, bug-eyed, miniature sized, STUBBORN, SHORT TEMPERED, SHORTY SHORT SHORTY, LITTLE TWERP—

“I wouldn't write all that if I were you.”

Kuwabara yelps, nearly falling off his seat. He covers his inflamed ear, and turns to glare at his sister Shizuru, who is leaning over his shoulder, eyes directly to his journal.

“W-when did you come back?!” Kuwabara exclaims, immediately hiding his chicken scratch from Shizuru's view.

“Five minutes ago. I called you over to help, but I see you've picked up your hobby again,” Shizuru says, her voice as nonchalant as ever, but Kuwabara has known this woman all his life. She's teasing him. “Aren't you a little too old for a diary?”

“I-It's not a—” Kuwabara bites his tongue. No, he just admitted to himself he owns a diary. There's no point in fighting about it! Besides, he's not in middle school anymore. He's a grown man with a healthy outlet to destress!

Kuwabara stands from his desk chair and closes his journal. Then, with a red face, he says, “Yeah I have a diary, so what?!”

“ So nothing, you're just too easy to make flustered,” Shizuru comments, a teasing smile on her lips. “Come on, I'll teach you how to properly organize the food in the fridge.”

Kuwabara nods and closely follows his sister. “What do I need teaching for? Just put the food in the fridge, it's as easy as it sounds—” Kuwabara yelps in surprise, his head now throbbing as he's suddenly punched upside the head. “Shizuru!”

“And by the way, I'm definitely not scarier than the monsters you've faced over the years ,” Shizuru explains, with a narrowed glare. “But if you keep pushing my buttons, I can be worse.”

“Yes ma'am!” Kuwabara agrees immediately, hands on his head, soothing the forming bump. Her punches hurt, but of course they're nothing compared to Urameshi's. 

Shizuru hums as she walks off with Kuwabara following closely behind.

So he has a diary. It's not as girly as it sounds. In all actuality, the journal was suggested to him by his teacher, Mr. Takenaka. Kuwabara and a bunch of his friends really hated his guts back then. Mr. Takenaka really liked to stick his nose into his students' lives and force them to go to their classes. He was a big pain in the ass… but now as Kuwabara has his own apartment, is going to college, and is a thriving member of society, Kuwabara is really thankful for the old man for caring about a punk like him. 

When he first suggested the diary, Kuwabara really thought it was the dumbest thing in the world. Diaries are for girls , he’d thought. But Kuwabara gave it a try if only to keep Mr. Takenaka's trap shut. The goal was to find an outlet to let Kuwabara's feelings out instead of looking for a fight in every corner of Japan(of course it didn't work too well since Kuwabara continued his battles both in the Human world and Spirit world). At first Kuwabara didn't really feel too keen on the idea of writing his feelings in a journal, but he found it easier and easier to do so as time went on. Before he knew it, Kuwabara ended up with three journals. He had long forgotten these journals somewhere during his highschool years, and only recently rediscovered his diaries while unpacking boxes in his room.

“A lot of people like to keep the vegetables in the bottom drawers, but it would be wise to put the meats there instead, in case they seap. For the vegetables, if you want them to last, you…”

Kuwabara nods along as he's rearranging the spices, cans, and boxes of food in the cabinets. It's easier to know where the spices and canned goods are if it's separated, or so Shizuru has said; though if Kuwabara is being honest, this cabinet won't stay neat for long. There's two possibilities, either A: He forgets to glance at the food in the cabinet and leaves it all to collect dust, or B: Kuwabara will clutter the clean dishes with the seasonings.

“Sis, I think you might have gone overboard. I mean, I don't even know how to cook.”

“If you're grown enough to get yourself through college and get an apartment, you're grown enough to learn a recipe or two,” Shizuru explains as she closes the fridge door. She glances over at her brother, who is unsure whether to mix the sweet and savory spices together. She walks over to her purse sitting idly by on the kitchen island.

“Here little bro, from me to you,”

“Wha— whoa!” Kuwabara catches the spiral notebook Shizuru tossed his way.

“I wrote some of your favorites in there, as well as some easy fifteen to thirty minute recipes.” 

“Wow, you didn't have to do that!” Kuwabara beams as he's flipping through the pages. “Although, you didn't have to include milk and cereal, ya know. I'm not that stupid!”

“Had to be sure,” Shizuru comments as Kuwabara skims each page, making little comments to himself about whether he can substitute tomato sauce with ketchup.

“I'm surprised Yusuke and Kurama didn't stay the night. They left as soon as we were done.”

“Well, Keiko doesn't like it when Urameshi is out past dark since that's where he usually finds trouble, and Kurama has to study for an exam coming up, not to mention all the essays he needs to finish up… which speaking of, I gotta do some studying myself.”

“I see. I expected a boys only sleepover from you guys.”

Kuwabara scoffs, as he closes the spiral notebook and puts it on the counter beside the stove. 

“C'mon, we're waaaay too old for that… ahem, that isn't until next week,” Kuwabara mutters sheepishly, moving the notebook farthest away from the stove as Shizuru gives him a death glare. 

“What about your boyfriend?”

Kuwabara flinches, averting his gaze from his sister, as he scratches his cheek. “Who— ah, Hiei…! He couldn't make it tonight— this recipe calls for paprika. What the hell is that? Do I even have any in here?!” Kuwabara immediately spins around and starts looking through all his spices. “Is it this red stuff?”

“What the hell has short-stack been doing that he couldn't help his boyfriend?”

“Dunno, Kurama said he's been on a solo mission looking for some old plant, or somethin’ like that.” Kuwabara clears his throat as he closes the cabinets.

“He was too busy looking for some weed, and he couldn't tell you that himself?” Shizuru continues to pry, and Kuwabara slumps into his shoulders.

“It's… complicated—”

“When was the last time you've seen him?” Shizuru questions, and a hesitant Kuwabara mutters his answer in the tiniest voice. “What? Speak up!

“Three months—”

“Three months?!”

“Yeah… Like I said, he's a complicated guy.” 

There's an awkward silence between them as Shizuru is lost in thought. Kuwabara purses his lips. He never intended on telling his sister about Hiei’s absence; he didn't want to tell Shizuru about them at all, not until Hiei and him figured out where they stand and plan to lead their relationship. Yes they're technically official, but not publicly, not yet at least; Shizuru figured it out on her own… that, and she barged in on him with Hiei on top of him. Thank God they were still wearing pants!

Ever since, Shizuru has been picking on Hiei every chance she gets. All in good fun, Kuwabara hopes at least. She doesn't normally pry about their relationship, only when she has a gut feeling something is amiss, and boy does her gut always hit the bulls-eye.

“Are you even sure he's alive?” 

Kuwabara held his breath, a shiver running up his back at the possibility that his Hiei may be—

“N-No, I promise he's alright. Kurama told me so himself,” Kuwabara affirms, trying to calm his own nerves. Although he trusts Kurama 99% of the time, there's always a 1% chance he may be lying… It wouldn't be the first time the group held such an important secret from him. 

“I just don't get why you're getting all your intel from Kurama.”

“C'mon, don't be like that. Kurama is like his best friend. Besides, the guys don't know about us yet,” Kuwabara explains, getting a mental image of Urameshi being surprised and even thinking that they're playing a practical joke on him. Kurama may be shocked, perhaps even jealous? Kuwabara always thought they were close.

“Do you ever plan on telling them?”

“I want to… I just… don't know if he wants to,” Kuwabara says, rubbing the back of his neck.

“What are you afraid of? Do you think he's embarrassed of you?”

“No, no! Nothing like that…! I mean… I'm… unsure.”

Shizuru gives him a long, inquisitive look, scanning his features for something hidden. She then sighs, hands rummaging through her bag again. “You're right, Hiei doesn't seem the type to care what others think… Damn it, where are my cigarettes.” 

“Please don't smoke in my new apartment,” Kuwabara says, sighing, hoping this will be the end of their conversation. 

“I wasn't going to… Look, I'm sorry for sticking my nose in your love life, I'm just worried for you.”

“Thanks Sis.” A big smile spreads over his face as Kuwabara glances back at the spiral journal. “How about we make one of the recipes ya wrote down? We haven't eaten since lunch time!”

“No can do, little bro, I gotta go before I miss the next train,” Shizuru explains as she beams at the box of cigarettes, only to frown again at seeing only one stick left.

“You have to go already? I-I thought you might want to stay the night!”

“And sleep on that tiny couch you found in the back alley? Thanks but no thanks. I’d rather snooze on my comfortable bed!”

Kuwabara pouts and mutters a “Fine!” in answer. He's never been alone before, so this may be a fun experience.

Kuwabara jolts as a hand is soon in his hair, smothering his gelled up-do.

“Hey! Mind my curls!” Kuwabara exclaims as Shizuru pulls back with a warm smile.

“You'll be fine. I'll visit as much as I can, and knowing Yusuke and Kurama, they'll make sure to keep you company.”

“Alright, alright, get out of here!” Kuwabara chuckles.

Shizuru makes her way towards the door with Kuwabara following closely behind. She then stops just as she grabs the knob, and Kuwabara gives her a curious look as Shizuru turns to give him her final thoughts.

“Look, you're someone who falls in love way too easily, so you're easy for someone to push around and bully.”

Kuwabara would argue but he knows this for a fact as well. Shizuru has witnessed first hand all the stupid things he's endured in the name of love as a kid.

“So don't let someone string you along just because you like them and they like you back. Know your self worth first before giving your heart to someone.While I don't think Hiei is too bad of a little asshole, I think you should set the record straight with him.”

“Alright, got it… Thanks sis,” 

Shizuru smiles at Kuwabara, and what could have been a sweet, tender moment between siblings gets interrupted by Shizuru punching him in the shoulder.

“Ouch, what the hell—”

“My little brother is all grown up, I could cry!” She says sarcastically as she finally opens the door and makes her way out. “I'll call you when I get home.”

“Geez, bye!”

As the door locks, Kuwabara sighs and turns to his living room, his new, still empty, living room.

“All by myself, huh?” Kuwabara mutters as he sighs. The start of his new life!

Kuwabara sighs heavily as he settles onto his bed. He stretches his spine, popping his joints and pulling his muscles as he hums. There's something about having a nice hot shower after a busy day that makes the day seem worth it. That, and showering in his own apartment! It's a lot smaller than his tub back at home, but Kuwabara has always been a big boy.

Kuwabara soaks in the silence of the room, listening to the little creaks of the old building, and listens to the wind howl from the window beside his desk. He gives himself a moment before sitting up.

“Alright, time for some studying!” He exclaims to no one as he makes way to his desk. Sitting down, his eyes immediately fall on his diary. Grabbing it, along with the other two similar patterned journals, he stacks them on top of each other and flips open the green one immediately as he scans the pages.

He finds it comforting to look back on the past, reading old emotions and inner turmoils, knowing he has moved on and is in a better place. The smallest things seem so big in the eyes of a teenager.

He has three journals, the same small pattern of swirls and stars at the front, but each book has a different color: red, green, and blue. Blue is the first journal he ever used, dating back from his second year in junior high. The entries are mostly him complaining about not being smart enough for school and how the girls call him ugly. He has always thought his features were manly, taking pride in them even back then and still now.

Green is the color to follow, dating from his last year in Junior high. This diary is especially special, it having the most detail and memories of his adventures in Spirit World. Kuwabara remembers taking this baby to the Dark Tournament once, and had snuck away to “train” when really he was escaping to vent about his fears facing the Toguro Brothers. Man were those the tough days. There's almost ten pages explaining how angry he felt towards Urameshi for not telling him about Genkai, and how Kuwabara really owed her for teaching him so much, despite not being her student. This journal is his favorite of the three.

Then there's the red journal, his last journal. There's so many entries in this one, but Kuwabara had begun to lose interest during his second or third year in highschool. The journal is almost full to the brim, with only so many pages left to it.

“Eww, gross! I forgot I wrote that!” Kuwabara laughs to himself as he gags at the line that reads: I think I like Urameshi…!  “Geez, was this around the same time I had a crisis over being gay?” Kuwabara skips a few pages ahead and laughs out loud at the tear stained page that reads: I'M A FREAK! What's wrong with me? I like dudes! How do I tell Shizuru?!

“God, kids are dramatic…!” Kuwabara snickers, thinking back fondly over his sister's assuring words and affirmations that he's a normal person with a different preference in his dating life. Of course, that's also around the time he found out she had been reading his diary. Calling it a Novela with how dramatic Kuwabara would write.

Kuwabara makes sure to grab a sticky note and write a quick note: “Screw Urameshi! You like Hiei now!” Kuwabara giggles as he puts the sticky note over the same page before closing the journal completely.

He hums, happy to know he's in a good place now and still has his amazing friends…

Kuwabara's smile slips as he's reminded of his… boyfriend.  

“Damn you, Hiei… Kurama said you'd be here…,” he mutters to himself as he crosses his arms. It's an important day for him to move into his first apartment. What's so important that Hiei couldn't make it?!

He frowns, glaring at nothing in particular as he thinks back on the gremlin. When will he finally stop by and visit? Does he even know where the apartment is? Kurama probably filled Hiei in on that detail already. Kuwabara is practically going crazy with worry, wondering if he's alright, if he's hurt, if he needs Kuwabara for anything. 

Maybe he really is a nuisance in the end, he wouldn't want Kuwabara in the way of his solo mission… He knows Hiei confessed his love first, but it feels like he's being purposely avoided…

After a moment of silence to himself, Kuwabara exclaims out loud, “What the hell, one more time for old times sake! ” Grabbing a pen and clicking on it a number of times, Kuwabara continues where he left off on the red journal before Shizuru interrupted his train of thought.

At least he calls… 

Unlike a certain three eyed, bug eyed, miniature sized, STUBBORN, SHORT TEMPERED, SHORTY SHORT SHORTY, LITTLE TWERP—

So here's the deal… Hiei and I are dating. Well, sort of. I haven't seen the twerp in almost three months. No phone call, no letter, not even a damn carrier pigeon. Maybe I've been dumped and didn't realize it, Haha… 

Fuck.

I know, I know you must be wondering how we got together in the first place, especially with how we used to hate each other… in all honesty, I never hated Hiei. Sure he got on my nerves, but shit, I couldn't help but fall for the little gremlin. I can't pinpoint when I started liking him, but it was pretty early on in our friendship.

We started dating each other a little more than a year ago. We were hunting down some sleazy demons who were abducting humans with strong spirit energy and auctioning them off like cows in a meat market. The plan was I would get abducted too, and the guys would track me down and we’d save the day! But of course, nothing is easy for team Urameshi. The crooks recognized me, and I was actually the highlight of the auctioning. 

HEHE, the demons know a good prize when they see one!!!

Hiei and the guys were able to find the black market in time, and Hiei was a little more than pissed off when one of the other victims, Ryusui, gave me a smooch for saving him. He gave the poor guy a sucker punch. Thankfully that punch was hard enough to wipe Ryusui's memory, so I guess all is well and ends well?

The building ended up collapsing on us, and I was badly hurt. I almost died! Hiei was so frantic, and I mean FRANTIC! He kept promising that we would make it out of this alive. I'll admit, I was already accepting it to be my last day alive. So I pretty much scared the crap out of Hiei giving him my last words.

Hey, it was a dramatic “Will this be the last time?” situation, okay?! I had to let my feelings be known! I had a hole through my stomach and the rubble kept us separated from each other! I still have the scar from that day, that’s how dramatic it was!

I had practically made my peace with death and was mentally preparing to see Koenma to take me to heaven, because YES I deserve to go to heaven after everything I've done. I wasn't the manliest at the time. I cried so much. Haha I half expected Hiei to finish the job and kill me himself, BUT CAN YOU BELIEVE SHORTY KISSED ME THEN AND THERE? BUT NOT BEFORE CONFESSING HIS LOVE FOR ME!!!!

I swear I was already in heaven when it happened, but Hiei said something along the lines of, “Your life is too important for it to end, get it together!” 

He even called me by my name! My heart was beating so fast, it felt like a dream!

Kuwabara smiles to himself, remembering how Hiei held him as he was at death's door, trying to heal him despite not being an expert in that ability; his confession, sounding so honest and desperate at the time; and their first kiss. Though Kuwabara wishes under different circumstances they would have naturally come together. Soft little confessions without anybody's life on the line, cute little first dates to the coffee shop, the movies, dinner, and a gentle first kiss. 

Kuwabara doesn't regret their coming together at all; he's crazy about Hiei. He wonders, in another universe, would they have gotten together at all without a major life-risking event?

We've been together ever since, but not like normal couples. We sneak smooches in between missions, when the guys aren't looking. We hold hands when we're in the back of the group. Urameshi and Kurama don't know about us, so we hold up appearances and still fight. Hiei still calls me an oaf and I call him a gremlin. It still hurts to have your boyfriend call you a moron, but I guess Hiei makes up for it with smooches? It still hurts though…

We even hung out without Urameshi and Kurama! Hiei would tag along on little errands, and he'd even surprise me when I would be out studying in the library or when I'm with friends. I had to tell him to stop because he had been scaring my college friends. He got especially mad when he saw Ryusui is still my friend. We mostly hung in my room back home. I tried to show Hiei some movies, but that damn twerp is like a rabbit always in heat. I wonder if he knows he stole my virginity—

Kuwabara furiously scribbles that last sentence out.

I wonder if he knows he stole my Virginity—

ANYWAY. It's fun and all, and I'm still crazy about Hiei, but damn it, it's so hard! I've tried to ask Hiei about coming out to the guys, but he said, "THERE'S NO NEED TO INVOLVE THEM IN OUR AFFAIRS,” or whatever. I can't help but feel like a dirty secret. Shizuru even thought he may be embarrassed of me. Hiei isn't the type… I'm sure he's not… he doesn't care.

But what if Shizuru is right? Kurama said he's been on an important mission, but if it's so important why didn't he ask us to join? Ask me, his boyfriend?! I know I'm not as strong as Urameshi, or as keen as Kurama, but I have my qualities too… I can't help but feel like a pest… God damn it. Now Shizuru got in my head!

I haven't seen him in forever… but the last few times we've seen each other, it's always sex, sex, SEX! Sex is fun, but is he only after my body? Which BTW Hiei is obsessed with my chest, the pervert! Last time he—

He's always off doing something reckless too, never thinking that I'm worried sick! Kurama promises he's okay, but how can I believe him when my own friends keep secrets from me sometimes? 

HE DIDN'T EVEN SHOW UP TODAY, ON THE DAY I MOVE INTO MY FIRST APARTMENT!

HIEI, ARE YOU EVEN ALIVE?!!!! HELLO?! DID YOU FORGET ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND?

IF YOU ARE ALIVE, DO YOU THINK ABOUT ME AT ALL? ONE DAY YOU'RE GOING TO SHOW UP HERE AND SEE YOUR BOYFRIEND IS A WRINKLING OLD MAN, AND THE ONLY FOOL HERE WILL BE ME FOR WAITING SO LONG—

Kuwabara jolts as a tear splashes onto his page, causing the ink to run. He sniffles, rubbing at his eyes. Damn it, he didn't think he was holding onto so much baggage until he let it out on paper. He takes deep breaths, slouching in his chair as he glares at the page. Shizuru is right, he needs to talk to Hiei about this. This isn't healthy for his brain… and he needs to know if Hiei is serious about him at all?! He cant possibly think it's okay to keep their relationship in the dark and to leave for months on end. 

Kuwabara crosses a big “X” over his last paragraph as he continues with his final thought.

HIEI, ARE YOU EVEN ALIVE?!!!! HELLO?! DID YOU FORGET ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND?!

IF YOU ARE ALIVE, DO YOU THINK ABOUT ME AT ALL? ONE DAY YOU'RE GOING TO SHOW UP HERE AND SEE YOUR BOYFRIEND IS A WRINKLING OLD MAN, AND THE ONLY FOOL HERE WILL BE ME FOR WAITING SO LONG—

Hiei, I miss you, you ass. Hurry home before I'm old and gray… did you forget, humans are here for a short time? I'm not just a body for you to play with, am I?

YOU DAMN LITTLE SHRIMP! I'M GONNA CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT ASKING YOU TO LIVE WITH ME! HURRY HOME YOU JERK. 

GOD.

Kuwabara grumbles as he slams his pen down. He takes a deep breath and sighs. He feels better but still feels so sad. The journals do help with his pent up rage, but it doesn't resolve much if anything… He still misses Hiei and wants to see him… bad.

“Well, time for bed… no time for studying now,” Kuwabara says to himself as he stands from his desk. He rubs his soaked eyes as he sniffles. “No use crying about it either… If that gremlin wanted to come then he would have…”

After turning off the lights, Kuwabara sinks into his bed. He sighs heavily, turning on his side as he hugs his pillow. He squeezes it tightly as he closes his eyes, trying to tune out as best as he can… but how can he in a new place?

Yeah it's his new apartment all to himself, but he's never been totally alone before. He's used to hearing Shizuru watching TV from the other room, or listening to Eikichi's light snoring. He even misses hearing the neighbors bickering when the husband would come home late from a drunk escapade. At first it was all annoying, but now he misses the little things. 

Now he's filled with silence.

His thoughts drift back to Hiei, as they always do, and he wonders if he'd agree to move in together at all? Hiei doesn't like humans or their customs, and they've only been a couple for a year. He doesn't seem to be the kind that likes to be tied down. Spirit World is his home after all.

“It's probably too soon to ask anyway!” Kuwabara says quietly as his face heats up. He turns on his back, gazing at the ceiling. “What would he even say?”

Probably something along the lines of: 

“Isn't it enough that we're a couple now.”

“We don't need to be glued at the hip 24/7.”

“Why would I subject myself to the human world?”

“No, you buffoon.”

His pillow collides against the wall opposite of his bed, making a soft thud sound as it drops to the ground.

“It was just a suggestion!” Kuwabara nearly shouts, trying to be mindful of his voice. He can't go pissing off the neighbors on his first night.

He plops back down on the bed, crossing his arms. Look at him, mad at Hiei over a hypothetical fight over living together. It may be too soon to move in, but he doesn't think so… after all, Hiei was the first to say the big three words before they even started dating. Hiei was also the one to proceed to initiate love making…

Kuwabara's cheeks flush as he recalls that day. Hiei whispering promises of his love for Kuwabara, promising to never let him go, to always protect him, and to always be by his side. Those gentle yet sizzling hot kisses that he pecked all over Kuwabara's inflamed skin. The way Kuwabara had to bite a pillow to keep from screaming out as Hiei made him cum multiple times.

“Do you like that, Kazuma?”

Kuwabara shivers, squeezing his thighs together as his cock twitches in his boxers. Hiei gave him a bunch of firsts that night. His first blowjob, his first fingering, to his first time. Kuwabara never knew the many ways of making someone feel good. You can't blame him since all he'd done so far is masturbate and that just being hand jobs with himself!

Hiei is especially infatuated with his chest, constantly biting, suckling, and leaving love bites all over, Kuwabara can't wear a V-neck or even a tank top without a hickey peeking through. But most recently…

Kuwabara lifts his shirt over the mounds of his chest. He bites down on his bottom lip as he gropes himself, squeezing them. It feels so awkward when you're touching yourself, but when it's Hiei holding him it feels different.

Kuwabara takes a timid breath as he pinches his hardening nipples. He sighs, closing his eyes as he twists the buds in his fingers, the familiar feeling of tingles surging through his chest. Kuwabara hums in approval as he tugs on them. 

Recently… ever since Hiei had been ravishing his chest, Kuwabara had been so sensitive here and had found himself addicted to the foreplay over his chest. Last time Hiei was with him, Kuwabara had experienced his very first dry orgasm over his chest. He was blown away at the euphoric feeling, and even more impressed that he could even cum from the foreplay alone! Hiei was so excited, but it resulted in Kuwabara's poor chest feeling sore the following morning.

“Hiei…,” Kuwabara moans out to his lover as he reminisces about the last time. That invading tongue rolling over his nipple, those sharp teeth threatening to bite on his nub, the sensation of being suckled.

Kuwabara uses one hand to slide his boxers down to the midst of his thigh, just enough for his dick to poke through. Coating his hand with spit, Kuwabara latheres his erection, paying extra attention to his head. He impatiently rolls his hips, eagerly meeting his hand as he pumps himself languidly.

Hiei is such a sex fiend that Kuwabara has had trouble keeping the little gremlin's hands to himself. Not only is he grabby during their alone time, but he has copped a feel a bunch of times when they're with Urameshi and Kurama. Kuwabara had given Hiei a stern talking to over the importance of keeping things in the bedroom, but did Hiei care? Absolutely not. The feral thing only came at Kuwabara harder. Blowjobs hidden in the forest, intense kisses when everyone is sleeping, quickies when Hiei and Kuwabara happen to lose their two other friends.

The damn shrimp likes to see Kuwabara squirm and quiver any chance he gets… and damn it does Kuwabara fall so easily into those grubby little hands. He can't help but want more and more of what Hiei is willing to give. Everyday he hopes Hiei will control himself, but he can't help his own excitement and anticipation to have those lips over his body; those calloused, small hands squeezing and leaving their imprint over him; that fat, long, cock of his to drive him insane and reach places fingers can't get to. For a little guy, Hiei has a big thing between his thighs.

“F-Fuck!” Kuwabara moans as he feverishly pumps himself. Slick and gentle slapping sounds bouncing off the walls of his room as he pants and tries to keep his voice down. 

That's when it hit him. He's living alone… no Shizuru to hear him making any lewd sounds, and no Eikichi to come purring and claw at his door to interrupt him. He can be as loud as he wants.

“H—Hiei!” He gasps, his voice timidly rising in volume as he calls out to his lover. He thrusts his hips eagerly, causing the bed to creak. His other hand continues to roll his large pec.

“Look at how wet you've become,” Hiei's sultry voice whispers in his subconscious from one of their more scandalous sessions. “ Do you really wish to stop now, when your length is dripping with anticipation, when you're drooling with need~?”

“Hiei— Hiei! Don't stop!” Kuwabara whines, squeezing the base of his dick, much like Hiei did teasingly that time.

“My dearest one, you have not been truthful with me. You crave me, just as much as I crave you. Admit it, you want me~.”

“Hiei, I-I want you— want you now!” Kuwabara begs wantonly. His belly coils as precum dribbles from his slit. 

“Beg me to fuck you, Kazuma. Beg for my cock~.”

“Hiei— Ah— Fuck! Hiei, fuck me, please!” Kuwabara furiously pumps himself, shivering and gasping with each twist of his hand. If Hiei were here, he'd ruthlessly plunge his cock into him and continue to plow into him without a care in the world; his only care being that Kuwabara reach his climax.

Kuwabara moans pathetically, begging a broken, “Please, please!” In between each gasp. He's so close to his peak, stars are beginning to dance over his vision.

Then, he gasps at the familiar sensation of that ticklish feeling pulling from the back of his head. He stops for the moment, panting, shivering as he tries to concentrate on that feeling, that familiar feeling of an apparition nearby… watching him. Over the years, Kuwabara had been able to sense the difference between malicious and benevolent demons, distinguishing the difference between friends watching over him to nobodies trying to get intel.

And he recognized the very demon tuning into Kuwabara's show.

Kuwabara swallows thickly, blushing madly as he had been caught red handed by the very demon he had been calling out to so desperately. Kuwabara has never felt Hiei's jagan eye spy on him before, which means the little pervert wanted Kuwabara to know he's being watched.

The damn perverted freak!

Kuwabara swallows thickly, and takes a moment to collect his bearings before shimming his hips and awkwardly pushing his boxers down, letting it slide off and cling to one ankle.

Kuwabara bends his knees, spreading them as he plants his feet to the bed. His face flushes a deep color as he spits onto his hands.

“If you want a show then I'll give you a damn show. Maybe you'll come running home!” Kuwabara huffs as he goes back to pumping himself as one hand goes to coat his sack with saliva.

He hums, his eyes closed and his mouth agape as he sighs. The back of his head continues to tingle, and the hairs on the back of his neck rise. Hiei is still watching, and that thought makes his heart race in his chest. His body continues to shiver as electricity courses through his veins.

“Hiei, fuck I-I’m cumming!” He warns aloud, though he isn't sure if Hiei can hear him at all. 

He shivers, his toes curling as his pelvis continues to burn.

“Hiei— can I cum? Ah— please?!” He begs, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He wonders how he must look to his lover. Being spread out, calling to him, with nothing but his hands to pleasure himself. If Hiei were here, what would he do? Would he give into Kuwabara's need and help him cum with his hand joining his? Or would he make Kuwabara work for it, make him beg and cry before fucking him senseless on the mattress?

“My dearest Kazuma, you can't cum just yet, we've only just begun~,” Hiei would coo and tease, knowing Kuwabara is on edge and ready to burst.

“Please—please, Hiei!”  Kuwabara begs, sporadically thrusting his hips into his too slow hand. He rolls his pulsating sack in his palm, gasping and shuddering as a spurt of cum shoots onto his pelvis.

“You're so beautiful begging like this. Are you so weak for me that you can't hold it in? Then cum for me, Kazuma. Cum~.”

Kuwabara whines as his sack tingle in his hand as he feverishly jerks his cock. Kuwabara spasms, gasping as strings of cum fly onto his chest and belly.

He falls slack on his bed, stars dancing over his vision and his ears begin to ring. He pants lightly, the cold draft of the room feeling good over his heated skin.

“H-Hiei…?” He whispers quietly through a hoarse voice. His mind feels cloudy post orgasm, so he can't tell if Hiei is still watching him or not. “Hiei… where are you? Are you nearby?” He calls out to the silence of the room. “I miss you… do you miss me?”

His heart settles down as he soaks in the stillness of the night, and the empty, tight feeling in his chest. He grits his teeth, and with balled up fists, Kuwabara hastily sits up on his ass and raises his fists at the sky as he shouts, “You damn twerp, show yourself so I can kick your ass!” He swears even the crickets outside are spooked by the volume of his voice. 

“I'm tired of waiting! Either you show up or I'll go get you from Spirit World myself!” Kuwabara slumps back down on the bed, sighing dramatically as he glares at nothing. “That damn twerp… making me cry and then cum in the same hour.”

He blinks the tiredness from his eyes as he uses what little energy he has to get up. He doesn't know if Hiei is still here, the twerp probably only came for the lewd show before leaving him hanging. Either way, Kuwabara flips the bird towards the ceiling as he walks off to his bathroom to wash up.

After fifteen minutes, he's soon flopping himself back down on the bed, properly dressed and clean as he tucks himself into the covers.

Closing his eyes, Kuwabara sighs as he grumbles, “Gremlin…” It takes a few moments of tossing and turning, even cursing out his absent lover's name, before he finally lulls himself to sleep.

Kuwabara flutters his eyes open, shivering in his sheets as a harsh draft bursts its way into his room. He curls deeper into the covers, squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to ignore the chilling temperature and fall back asleep; the pronounced sound of the howling wind sounding directly into his room startled him enough to jump out of the covers.

Kuwabara groans, irritated with himself as he sits up on the bed. He closed the window, didn't he? He doesn't even remember popping it open tonight! He blinks the sleep from his eyes, looking towards the same old window right beside his bed, only to be met with a wall! Kuwabara panics, not recognizing the unfamiliar room for a second before realizing he is in his new apartment! 

“Right, I’m at my new place.” Kuwabara laughs to himself with one hand over his frantically beating heart. “For a second there I thought I was kidnapped!”

“No one would be foolish enough to abduct you.” Kuwabara jolts, his blood running cold as he grips the bed sheets tightly to his chest. “Not while you're my partner.”

“W-Who’s there?!” Kuwabara demands, trying to hide his fear behind a loud, deep voice. Calm down, Kazuma! If it's a burglar, you can handle him! Kuwabara's breath hitches at the black silhouette standing beside his desk, near the open window. 

“W-who the hell…,” Kuwabara questions, voice trailing off as the red eyes of the silhouette glare at him. Kuwabara swallows nervously. His powers should have warned him of danger, but how did this guy sneak in without alerting him?!

Moonlight slowly creeps into his room as the clouds make room to reveal the demon in his room. “Wha— Hiei?! ” Kuwabara questions, as the light reflecting through reveals the face of his Hiei, his damn Hiei, his damn, long distance, no call or letter, absent, Hiei!

Hiei stands there, eye's narrow and practically smoldering in the darkness of his room. Kuwabara clenches his jaw. Damn it , he should be happy to see Hiei, to ask him about his travels, and see if he's okay. He should be bursting out of bed right now to run up to the twerp and give him a million smooches… but all Kuwabara feels is anger and rage!

He feels pain, so much pain.

“It is you, isn't it?!” Kuwabara exclaims, voice sounding more aggressive than he intends, he didn't mean to sound so mad but he can't help it. He throws the covers off his person. “Where the hell have you been! It's been three months you asshole!” Kuwabara stomps towards the demon, ready to give him a piece of his mind, maybe throw a punch or two. Normally Kuwabara does not condone violence towards your partners, but it's Hiei! The twerp can take a punch! “No call, no letter? I had to make sure you were alive through Kurama! Why the hell do I have to know about my own boyfriend through someone else, huh?!”

Kuwabra soon gasps at the open book in Hiei’s hand; his diary! Hiei has been reading his diary?! 

“What the hell you shrimp, that's my diary!” Kuwabara shouts as his face turns many shades of red: Anger for his privacy being invaded, embarrassment by his intimate thoughts being exposed, and fury for his growing temper. He reaches out in an attempt to snatch his journal back, but Hiei slams the diary shut and moves it out of Kuwabara's reach.

Burning crimson eyes are glaring at him with unjust anger; Kuwabara bites down on his jaw as his hands tightens into fists. Why the hell is Hiei mad when Kuwabara should be the only one of the two mad!

“What's up your ass all of a sudden?!”

“Do you really think so low of me?!” Hiei questions, his voice loud enough to bounce off the walls of his empty apartment. Kuwabara jolts from the volume, his heart stuttering in his chest.

“L-lower your voice! The neighbors are sleeping!’ Kuwabara exclaims in a loud whisper, as if he wasn't yelling a moment ago himself. He gestures his hands for Hiei to lower his tone as he peaks over at the alarm clock on his nightstand beside the bed. It's almost 3AM, and Hiei is yelling up a storm like he owns the place!

“I couldn't care less about your damn neighbors. You will explain this book now!” The pages of his journal are flying open, red eyes now scanning over the most recent journal entry Kuwabara had written a few hours ago.

“ Sex, sex, sex! Is he only after my body? He's always off doing something reckless; Hiei are you even alive? The only fool here will be me for waiting, you damn Shrimp!” Kuwabara sunk into his shoulders as Hiei read, verbatim, every word Kuwabara had written in his journal. There's a tightness in his throat as well as his chest as Hiei continued reading aloud.

“Y-you weren’t meant to read that—“

“ He may be embarrassed of me?!” Hiei spoke over him, reading over the part about being Hiei’s dirty little secret. “Do you believe I'm so shallow as to think such a ridiculous thing? To have so little faith in me that you resort to writing it on paper!” Hiei accuses as he flings the diary towards the nearest wall. Kuwabara flinches, gasping as his memories, his emotions, his feelings are carelessly slammed and tossed like trash. 

“You… You have no right to treat my possessions this way—”

“Explain the meaning behind your words. I've had a long, wasteful day, you oaf. So you'd do best to not try my patience!’

Kuwabara flinches at that word, oaf. Hiei only calls him that in front of their friends to keep up appearances. 

So we're back to calling me that, huh? 

Kuwabara looks between Hiei and his journal, his chest feeling oh so heavy. He purses his trembling lips, clenching down on his jaw.

“Well?!” Hiei demands, arms crossed as Kuwabara remains silent for the longest time.

“This… is my diary,” Kuwabara starts, walking over to his journal. Hiei's glare is fixated on him, but Kuwabara doesn’t care, Hiei just carelessly slammed his memories as if they were going to attack him. He picks up the journal, grimacing as he does so. The book is old with some wear and tear with the pages barely clinging to the spine, but Hiei had slammed it hard enough for some of the pages to fall loose.

“My teacher from Junior High said it was a good idea to write my feelings here, so I wouldn't blow up at every opportunity for a fight.”

“What an absurd thing to do. If the opportunity is there then just fight the imbeciles egging you on.”

“You're one to talk,” Kuwabara retorts, pushing the fallen pages back into the journal. He walks over to his desk, collecting the other two diaries. “These journals actually helped me through my roughest times, and you just slammed it like trash… Not everyone is looking for a fight you know, but it looks like you're here just for that! So if it's a fight you want—” out of pure frustration, Kuwabara smashes his journal into one of the moving boxes, where they're safe from reach and from prying eyes “ — then it's a fight you'll get!”

Kuwabara spins around, straightening his back as he gives Hiei the dirtiest look he could muster. He swallows thickly as he crosses his arms.

“Where the hell have you been?!” Kuwabara shouts, glossy eyes finally looking into Hiei's own, who shoots the same glare his way.

“Spirit World.”

“That's obvious! What were you doing in Spirit World for so long?!” 

“I was on a mission,” Hiei explains flatly, with no explanation or anything to add, just silence following his statement.

“That's it? What kind of mission?!”

Kuwabara is met with silence.

“Who were you with?” Kuwabara then asks through gritted teeth.

“I was alone.”

“Oh yeah, I'm sure you were!” Kuwabara feigns a laugh. “You were in Spirit World for three months by yourself, with nothing but the trees to talk to. All by your lonesome self, without anyone to burden you. Oh, Hiei is so cool, so bad ass, he doesn't need a sidekick! Hiei the lonewolf!”

“What are you accusing me of, huh?!” Hiei demands, walking up to Kuwabara with eyes practically burning into him, daring Kuwabara to say the wrong thing. “Spit it out. Are you calling me unfaithful?!”

Kuwabara remains silent for the moment, glaring down at the twerp who stands a foot away from him. He registers what Hiei had just said before his features tense up, veins popping on his forehead as he shouts, “No, but now I am! Were you cheating on me?! Are you admitting to cheating on me, Hiei?!”

Hiei rolls his eyes as he rubs at his face, exasperated. “You damn buffoon! How can you think— why would you even— Gods, you're making this difficult! If I knew you'd be this hysterical—”

“Then what?! You wouldn't have come? Are you going to disappear again and leave me in the dark?!”

“I never said that. Don't put words in my mouth—” 

“Then just tell me what the hell you've been up to! Damn it Hiei, you can't just…,” Kuwabara trails off as his glare falters. He looks off to the side as he can no longer look at Hiei.

He's so tired, hurt, and angry. Tonight wasn't supposed to be this way. It's his first day as an independent adult and Hiei just… ruined it.

“Why did you bother coming anyways? Did you need something from me, or did you only come to pick a fight…?” Kuwabara's voice is almost a whisper, trying to swallow down the thick lump in his throat.

“I came for you, is that so hard to understand?!” Hiei proclaims, but Kuwabara isn't buying it.

“It is when you're purposely leaving me in the dark!”

Both Hiei and Kuwabara remain silent. The atmosphere in the room remains heavy, even the crickets and the mewling cats have decided to stay quiet so as to not provoke the fretting couple.

“Shit,” Hiei curses, turning to his side to glare out the window.

Kuwabara swallows thickly, gazing over at the alarm clock. He should really head to bed, he has errands in the morning, and his plans won't falter just because his boyfriend decided to finally show up and pick a fight.

“Hiei… you can't disappear for so long and not drop a letter or something letting me know you're okay.”

“I didn't anticipate the journey to last so long…,” Hiei says, his voice still holding a shed of spite in it, still ready to jump on a fight that Kuwabara had already given up on. “But seeing as you think so little of me, you must have thought I abandoned you through death.”

Kuwabara pursed his lips. “No… I know you're strong, but you're not Goku. You hurt and bleed like all the rest of us.”

“Who the hell is Goku?”

“You're not God is what I'm saying… demons die, too, like humans. We're not that different from each other. All I'm saying is… you can count on me for help once in a while. That's what I'm for as your boyfr…” Kuwabara drifts off, sighing sadly.

“Boyfriend…,” Hiei says, finishing his sentence for him in the softest tone. Yes, that sounded like his Hiei, not this angry little twerp that was yelling a second ago. 

You sure don't act like one! Kuwabara wants to say, but he has no fight left in him. He wants to sleep, sleep away the ache in his chest, to sleep away from this stupid fight. Hiei shifts his stance, but Kuwabara can't bear to look at him, not now, not when he feels the damn crack behind his glossy eyes.

“Whatever… Why don't you go… It's what you do best anyway,” Kuwabara says, ending their conversation for the night as he walks past Hiei.

“Kazuma,” Hiei calls out, but Kuwabara is too busy grabbing his pillow and settling under the bed covers.

“I have a long day ahead, so just get out of here. Crash at Kuramas or somethin’, since you trust him more than me,” and with that Kuwabara throws the bed covers over his head, hugging the pillow tightly to chest as he shivers. “And don't forget to close the window on your way out. Goodnight!” 

Kuwabara closes his eyes, listening intently for Hiei to buzz off and leave him to his slumber in peace! What's the jerk doing just standing there? Is he going to watch Kuwabara sleep? The pervert! Kuwabara curls tightly into his pillow, grimacing, holding his breath subconsciously as he continues to wait. But the twerp won’t budge!

Kuwabara is soon snoring away, the bed sheets rising and falling dramatically as he did so. Maybe if Hiei thinks he's asleep the jerk will finally leave him to it!

He continues his act for a whole minute straight, but Hiei won't budge. Kuwabara can feel his own temper rising. This is ridiculous, what game is Hiei playing on him to stick around for so long?!

Kuwabara then trembles, shivering as wind blows in from his window. If Hiei isn't going to leave, then he can at least close the window! Kuwabara can't do it since he's pretending to be asleep! Don't tell me I'm going to die from hyperthermia! Kuwabara sniffles, a sneeze creeping its way to his nose.

Then, Kuwabara tenses as he finally hears footsteps. He continues to snore casually, all whilst listening in. It's only a few short steps, five maybe six, and soon, the window is shut with a gentle thud. No more howling wind, no more chilling air, and no more Hiei.

He's actually gone.

Kuwabara sighs shakily, his body falling lax from its rigid state, and ceasing his snoring.

“That jerk… Good riddance,” he mutters to himself as he smothers his face into his pillow. 

He shouldn't be upset; he told Hiei to leave in the first place, but perhaps in the back of his mind Kuwabara was wishing for Hiei to stay; to apologize to each other, to communicate like a real couple, to express how they missed each other.

Kuwabara swallows down the lump in his throat, refusing to cry for a jerk, but he can't help the few tears that slip from his eyes. 

Kuwabara's anger is justified, his hurt is one hundred percent valid. How else did Hiei expect him to react when he hasn't seen him for months, and on top of that, invading his privacy by reading his diary and then breaking it! 

Yet… Kuwabara can't help but also feel guilty. He should have welcomed Hiei back with open arms, and told him something along the lines of, “If you leave me again, I'll hunt you down myself!”  

Of course he missed the tiny gremlin. That's his Hiei for crying out loud, the guy he's liked for years! Who knows what he’s been through the last few months. Hiei is probably hurt now, thinking Kuwabara has fallen out of love with him. Now, as a sob slips out, Kuwabara is all alone, unsure if he even still has a boyfriend after this; unsure if he'll ever see Hiei again. He's such an idiot, the biggest oaf. If only he knew how to control his anger, then maybe Hiei would still be—

Kuwabara yelps as he's suddenly smothered under the bed covers. He panics, struggling beneath the sheets as he's being crowded by something tight.

“W-what the—” he hiccups as the arms around him hold him firmly.

Kuwabara holds his breath, his heart ramming in his ribcage as the pillow is being smothered by him and the chest holding him tightly.

“H-Hiei?” Kuwabara says in-between a hiccup. “I thought you left…”

“How could I leave when my precious one is sobbing so pitifully…? I've missed you truly, so I don't plan on leaving your side… I wish to talk.”

Kuwabara sniffles, nodding as he waits for Hiei to talk .

A deep, exhausted sigh escapes Hiei, he collects his thoughts for a moment before speaking.

“You must understand, Kazuma, I've carried out long and useless tasks for the last three months, looking death in the face countless times with one solemn goal, and that was to see you and your goofy grin again. My heart yearned for you daily and nightly… Of course I missed you, my beloved fool.”

Kuwabara swallows thickly, biting his bottom lip as his heart flutters, replacing the ache in his chest momentarily. 

“Reading such an idiotic take from your journal, reading about my partner's doubts is cruel. It's ridiculous of you to even question … Don't you know, Kazuma, how much I craved your presence… your touch, your soft lips… the sound of your big, loud voice.”

Kuwabara sniffles, his eyes swirling with tears as his trembling hands move the pillow from between them in favor of pressing his face to Hiei's chest.

“There wasn't a day where I wouldn't watch over you with my jagan eye, wishing to lie down beside you on your mattress… wishing to walk alongside you as you walked through the city… wishing to lace your hand with mine.” 

The sheets are then tugged slowly, and Kuwabara sniffles as he's brought out from beneath, finally eye to eye with the demon he's loved since the first day. Kuwabara sniffles, muttering his lover's name just as said demon cups his cheek, wiping away any stray tears.

“It's been a long time since I've laid beside another warm body,” Hiei whispers as he smiles gently at Kuwabara. “It's been a long time since I've been so reckless with my heart.”

Kuwabara bites down on his jaw as his eyes flood with tears. “Damn it Hiei…” Kuwabara whimpers, sobbing pitifully as he smothers his face to Hiei's chest, big arms enclosing around his smaller frame. “Y-You can't just s-smooth talk your way out of this! Ya jerk!”

“Let it out, my dearest one,” Hiei says in a hushed tone, kissing the top of his head as one hand entangles itself in his hair and the other rubs circles onto his back. “I haven't been a good partner to you, I deserve all your frustrations, all your anger.”

“Y-You sure damn do!” Kuwabara exclaims through a whimper. He wants to yell, he wants to argue, he needs Hiei to know how awful these few months have been without him… but more than anything, he needs Hiei to stay.

“I m-missed you, you jerk! I missed you so m-much— What the hell is in the Spirit World that's more important than me?!”

“Shhh, mind your neighbors, dearest one—”

“Screw the neighbors!” Kuwabara proclaims with a huff, earning a chuckle from Hiei. His bottom lip juts out into a pout as he sniffles. This is hardly the time or place to laugh, but that chuckle makes his stomach flutter. 

“I missed this smell, the scent of my sweet one…”

Kuwabara sniffles, having missed the scent of his Hiei too, the smell of warm, sweet sandalwood; the fiery, yet tolerable, heat of his body; the gentle coos and sweet nothings that Hiei has reserves for Kuwabra. He has missed every part of Hiei and his intimacy. 

They remain in each other's embrace, comfortable with the silence between them, happy to finally have the other back. Kuwabara sniffles, finally settling down from his sobs. He hasn't cried this hard since the auctioning, that time he remembered being so embarrassed that he could die. Now, however, he feels comfortable enough to share his feelings with Hiei. The Kuwabara from a year ago wouldn't believe how far they've gone.

“I… um,” Kuwabara clears his throat as he looks up at Hiei. Hiei gazes back at him, sharp eyes waiting patiently as Kuwabara collects his thoughts. “I'm… about my diary, I'm sor—” 

“If you're trying to apologize, don't. I shouldn't have accused you,” Hiei explains with a gentle shake of his head. “I understand now you were just frustrated and needed an outlet. It was wrong what I did and how I reacted, forgive me.” Wow , he never thought he’d hear the day Hiei apologizes— “ But, I don't appreciate your sister prying into our relationship. We don't need her filling your little head with such idiocy.”

Kuwabara chuckles, shaking his head in disapproval. “She's just looking out for me… you are my first boyfriend, my first real relationship overall.”

Hiei clicks his tongue, rolling his eyes, “Just a pretext to meddle in on what's ours.”

Kuwabara hums, a sad smile forming as he says, “But… she's just as confused as I am… Would it really be so bad to tell the guys we're a couple?” Kuwabara notes the way Hiei’s eyes twitch, holding back a scowl most likely. “They're our best friends.”

“It would be troublesome, Kazuma,” Hiei says. “It’s one thing to tell your sister about us, but with Yusuke and Kurama, they may prod and convince you of your mistake. They may even just—”

“Whoa, whoa!” Kuwabara interrupts, putting his hand up. “First of all, I make my own mistakes and no one can stop me otherwise! So if I choose a fire demon to be my man, then they'll have to deal with it!”

Hiei raises a brow, “Are you calling me a mistake?”

Kuwabara holds his tongue for a second before saying, “Well, who made me cry a second ago?”

“Fair enough…” Hiei says, breaking out into a gentle smile.

Kuwabara smiles back as he says, “I just want the world to know you're mine and you're off limits! I know Urameshi will be excited and Kurama will be supportive! I just… I don't want to pretend to hate each other anymore… I hate when you call me names…”

Hiei hums, hand cupping Kuwabara's cheek, “I know… I’m not fond of doing so either… Especially hearing my lover comment about my height every five seconds.” 

Kuwabara flinches from that, looking off to the side guiltily. That’s… a bad habit he needs to abandon immediately. Even when they're alone and having fun, Kuwabara would let slip a “shrimp” or a “shorty.”

“Sorry… I guess we're both at fault when it comes to that. Wait no— It's the guys’ fault for always expecting us to fight! Let's put the blame on them!”

Hiei chuckles, his hand running through Kuwabara's hair, raking his nails through the roots. “If I promise to let you tell Yusuke and Kurama, and only Yusuke and Kurama, will you promise to not let their judgment cloud your mind. You'll be mine regardless?”

Kuwabara smiles as he says, “Are you kidding? Urameshi and Kurama love ya, and if they say anything, I'll give them a good one!”

Hiei's features soften as he brings Kuwabara in for a tight embrace, and Kuwabara giggles as he settles into the welcoming arms. He's missed this side of Hiei so much!

“I can't wait to see the look on Urameshi's face! He'll definitely think I've hit my head!”

“That, or think I've used my jagan eye to manipulate your subconscious.”

Both demon and human laugh together in the silence of the room. Kuwabara has half a mind to ask if they can tell Botan, but revealing such a secret to her will only succeed in Botan broadcasting it to all of Spirit World! No, only the guys can know for now…

But then, as they settle into their embrace, as Hiei sighs comfortably, Kuwabara can’t help the nagging feeling in the back of his head.

“Hiei… What are you doing that you can't tell me?” Kuwabara asks carefully, as if trying not to disturb the happy atmosphere that just settled between them. He waits for Hiei to collect his thoughts, to give him some sort of answer, but the demon remains silent. 

The familiar sensation of his throat clogging up makes itself known. Kuwabara swallows thickly, “If it's a big mission the guys and I can help you, I'll drop everything to be with you… but… if you can't trust me to help you—”

“Stop it, Kazuma…” Hiei finally speaks in a hushed tone, embracing Kazuma around his shoulders tighter. “I trust you, wholeheartedly, my dearest one. Don't ever doubt that.”

Kuwabara’s brows furrow as he shakes his head in disbelief. “Clearly you don't! You don't trust me enough to tell me what's going on… But I bet Kurama knows.”

“Kurama is—”

“Why can't you trust me the way you trust him, huh? For crying out loud, we're boyfriends…”

Hiei holds his tongue once again, which only raises Kuwabara's anger. That's it, he's going to kick this jerk out of here! But just as he makes up his mind, Hiei pulls Kuwabara back, trying to meet his gaze, but Kuwabara can’t bear to see him. He turns his head, eyes glaring at anything else that isn't Hiei. But Hiei is a persistent one. He waits, waits a long moment for Kuwabara until the redhead finally sighs and caves. He hesitantly gazes back at the demon he's crazy for, and he's met with a firm gaze.

“Yes. We are boyfriends. You are the most important thing I hold precious in my life. Kurama is just an old man who's lived for many centuries. He's merely a pawn, feeding me information when needed. Even he doesn't know the extent of what I'm going for with this mission.”

Kuwabara’s stomach drops; this sounds more serious than he thought. “W-What the hell kind of missions did Koenma—”

“This is a personal task. Koenma isn't aware of it.”

“Hiei—”

“I’m not doing anything that will get me into trouble with Koenma. I promise.”

“That's not it. It sounds way too dangerous, especially if it's a secret!”

“All I'm asking of you Kazuma is your patience.”

“What is it?!”

“I can't say.”

“Why not?!”

Hiei frowns deeply, eyes evading him, and Kuwabara hopes Hiei will crack if he keeps pushing. He has to know what this damn jerk is getting himself into.

Kuwabara says through grit teeth, “Will this kill you?”

“Possibly…”

“Then all the more reason to let me tag along—”

“I need you to remain in the human world, beloved. Where it's safer, where you can continue with your studies, where you will have faith in me and my strength. Can you believe in me and my strength, Kazuma?”

No! He wants to say so badly. He can't trust Hiei when he’s so damn reckless. He can't allow his boyfriend to carry the burden alone. Even whilst looking at his lover so closely, even in the dark, Kuwabara is able to make out the small marks under his eyes. Hiei is so burnt out, does he even know it?

Yet, no matter what Kuwabara answers, he knows Hiei will do what he wants in the end. Follow through his path out of sheer stubbornness and pride. So Kuwabara doesn't answer, his eyes falling to Hiei’s collar. He won't get anything out of Hiei, no matter how close to cracking Hiei is, Kuwabara knows Hiei will hold his tongue until the end of time. 

He'll let it go for now. This is the first time he's seeing Hiei in a while, and it sounds like he will leave for another long time. He wants to savor what he can of his boyfriend, while he still has the chance to soak in his presence, his warmth, his everything…

“You know, the life of a human is short…,” Kuwabara says softly into the silence of the room. Hiei's hand settles over his cheek, thumb rubbing circles onto his skin. “One day you'll stop by and see I'm an old man. I may not even be alive—.”

“You're a simpleton if you think I'll allow you to die,” Hiei interrupts, causing Kuwabara to snort. Hiei sounds like he will personally attack Father Time and keep Kuwabara young forever. “As I’ve said before… Your life is too precious for it to end now .”

Kuwabara's chest swells, cheeks dusting red as he reminisces on the moment Hiei had said those same words. When they were under all that rubble saving the humans from the auctioning, when they were desperate to keep each other alive, where they finally confessed to each other.

“ Is that a love confession ?” Kuwabara spoke through a cheeky grin, repeating what he said that time a year ago.

Hiei's fingers settle on the back of his neck, thumb pressing firmly into the base of his hairline as he rears closer to Kuwabara. Those beaming red eyes are blown with want, and Kuwabara swallows nervously as his lips part, instinctively. 

“ Profess your love through your body ,” Hiei says between their lips, earning a surprised sound from Kuwabara as the demon forces their lips together in a searing, long awaited kiss.

Thin, soft lips mold against his big plump ones, and as much as Kuwabara wanted to continue to play with Hiei, he can’t help but break away momentarily, just to say, “T-That’s not what you said back then—!” but his words are soon interrupted by an eager mouth.

Kuwabara huffs, trying to keep from smiling into their kiss as his hands go to Hiei's sides, rubbing up and down before settling on Hiei's shoulder blades.

Oh how he craved this; how he needed the affirmation of Hiei’s love. Hiei's kisses are always to the point, expressing his wants and desires as he desperately knocks their teeth together, trying to consume all of Kuwabara. The demon is so skilled in taking Kuwabara breath away, and the human has to remind himself to inhale through his nose.

Hiei is soon tugging back, drawing Kuwabara’s bottom lip along his teeth, asking for access, but Kuwabara isn't an easy man! As he releases his lip, that hot mouth is leaving wet kisses over the corners of his lip, but Kuwabara turns his head away.

“I-if you think I'll forget tonight, you've sadly mistaken!” Kuwabara declares as Hiei ignores his protest with firm kisses to his neck.

“My intention is to make you forget for the night, so lose yourself to my touch~,” Hiei says in between love bites. “I've missed you, my sweet one,” he declares as he nips and suckles over the junction of Kuwabara's neck.

Kuwabara shivers, craning his head as Hiei marks him for the first time in months. “Me too, Hiei. Me too…” he says, sighing in contentment as Hiei climbs on top of him. “M-Missed your kisses and ah—b-bites!” Kuwabara gasps, as Hiei’s teeth sink into his flesh, drawing blood. The painful sensation goes straight to his groin as Hiei is soon suckling over the tender area. 

Hiei kisses the mark sweetly, apologetically as he's soon lapping his way to Kuwabara's other side. “I miss your fair flesh. My beautiful canvas to paint and scar, to ruin and stain with red and purple~.”

“Ah! Watch it! Ah— I don't want to go back to turtle necks!” 

“Now why would you hide my claim on your person, my dearest one?” 

“D-didn't you want to keep us a secret, j-jerk?!”

Hiei hums, kissing over the new hickey now adorning his neck. “I did, but what better way to tell others you're off limits~.”

“C'mere you twerp!” Kuwabara huffs, hand in Hiei’s hair forcing him back down into a kiss. Hiei's lips part instantly, allowing Kuwabara to slither his tongue inside. Their tongues swirled together, savoring each other. Hiei’s hands are on his pecs, massaging them and squeezing the mighty mounds together.

Kuwabara breathes harshly through his nose as he loses the battle. He allows Hiei to intrude into his own mouth, where every nook and cranny is touched, familiarizing himself to what belongs to Hiei.

Hiei is soon pulling away, earning a wet smack between them as they both gasp for breath. Kuwabara is panting, blown orbs gazing over his Hiei as he waits to see what his lover does next. How he's missed Hiei and his relentless appetite. His dick is already rock hard from the anticipation!

Hiei is soon rearing back into his face, and Kuwabara shuts his eyes, puckering his lips, waiting for another hot, messy, make out session… but no lips ever meet his own. 

Kuwabara peaks an eye open as Hiei looks down at him, sitting back on Kuwabara's pelvis.

“That's enough of that, dearest.”

“Wha…?” Kuwabara raises a brow, a pout forming on his lips. “I-I thought… ya know, we were gonna…ya know.” Kuwabara is fiddling with his fingers, face turning red as he struggles to say, “M-Make love…?” Why is asking for sex so embarrassing?!

“It's far too late into the night for us to perform, besides, you said so yourself, you're busy come morning,” Hiei explains with a nod of his head. 

Right, Kuwabara had that thing to do in the morning… What was he going to do? Right now he's too horny to care, to remember!

“Oh yeah… that… D-Didn't you want to continue?” Kuwabara pushes, trying to coax Hiei. He's never had to pry at Hiei for sex before, he's never had to ask since Hiei always initiates their love making. Why is Hiei suddenly uninterested? “It's been so long…”

Hiei is soon leaning back over Kuwabara's chest, palming his cheek as if trying to console him. “More than anything do I wish to ravish you: to fuck you until you're reduced to nothing but mush; to have you begging for more; to have you forget all your responsibilities… lose all your inhibitions.” Hiei's voice is a deep rumble as he hovers his lips over Kuwabara's in a feather-like touch.

“Then do it!” Kuwabara begs through a hushed whine, his lips chasing Hiei’s, only for the demon to pull away once again; Kuwabara's hands are instantly fisting Hiei's top, keeping him where he should be, and that is on top of Kuwabara!

“Hieiiiii!” He whines, pathetically, but he can't help it! “D-Don’t you want me anymore?!”

“I do, my sweet one. But… I don't want you just for your body.” 

“What…?” Kuwabara questions with a raise of his brow. “W-what— where did that come from?”

Hiei sighs, a bit too dramatically for him as he closes his eyes in thought. “ Sex, sex, sex. Is he only after my body?” Hiei repeats, making Kuwabara bite down on his lip. 

Oh, Kuwabara has an idea where this is going…

Hiei finally looks at him and Kuwabara swears he can see the plot forming behind those mischievous eyes. “I don't want such a thing to cloud your  mind. I must prove my devotion for you, and if restricting sex is what will prove my love, so be it.”

“You sly little bastard,” Kuwabara grumbles, earning a subtle smile from Hiei. He knew it, Hiei is playing games with him! Kuwabara is not one to beg, in fact, he has half a mind to turn around and fall asleep right now, and leave the gremlin all needy and aching for him! Kuwabara has that thing in the morning anyway! But, the way his boyfriend is glancing down at him, all superior and sexy right above Kuwabara, he doesn’t think he can hold out tonight!

So, he must hold his pride…

“Listen, babe! It's been months since we did it! I feel like a virgin all over again!” Kuwabara exclaims, trying to convince Hiei the best he can without needing to beg! “So help me Hiei, if you don't make love to me right now!” A threat is never an option when it comes to asking something of your partner… but it's Hiei. 

His grip over Hiei's top tightens so much that his knuckles turn white. He brings Hiei closer, peppering kisses all over his neck as Hiei purposely avoids his lips. “I need you. I want you…!” He declares between kisses. He's glad it's dark because he swears his face matches the red on his hair!

Hiei hums in delight as Kuwabara nips at his ear, tugging on his lobe between his teeth. “Kazuma, we cant~,” Hiei practically purrs. 

“C'mon, you're not gonna make me beg, are ya?” Kuwabara asks, his hands going to rub up and down Hiei's sides.

“Well, if you insist— No, I can't fall to temptation. I'm sorry,” Hiei says, shaking his head as he grabs Kuwabara's hands and pries them off his person.

Kuwabara's face falls and his bottom lip puckers out in a pout. It looks like Hiei is serious this time and genuinely wants to prove himself to Kuwabara after all. It's his own fault for writing in his stupid diary…

“Fine, sorry… If it's that important to ya, we can just cuddle—” Kuwabara holds his tongue and he shivers at the devilish grin spreading over Hiei's lips. “W-what's with that evil smirk?”

Hiei hums, red eyes looking Kuwabara up and down like a delectable treat. Hiei's is cooking up something in his head, and Kuwabara's nether regions are pulsing with anticipation. Damn this sex fiend.

“My dearest Kazuma, if you feel so strongly about making love, why not try to convince me~?”

Kuwabara swallows nervously as Hiei moves off of him to instead settle between his legs. His heart rams in his chest as Hiei's hands place themselves over Kuwabara's stomach, rubbing up and down, creasing his shirt as he familiarizes himself with the grooves and curves of Kuwabara's figure.

“H-How s-should I—” Kuwabara's breath hitches as those playful fingers are soon hooking onto the hem of his boxers, and Kuwabara is practically trembling as Hiei slowly drags his undergarments down, leaving hot kisses over exposed flesh as he does so.

After a bit of teasing, Kuwabara's dick finally comes flying out, pressing onto his belly. Kuwabara shivers as the cool air of the room touches his overheated head. Hiei's blown eyes never leave his own gaze as he continues to tug his boxers to the midst of his thighs. Hot, damp, kisses continue to adorn his skin, coating every part of him but purposely ignoring his aching need.

“P-Please, Hiei!” Kuwabara begs, shimmying his hips to get his boyfriend's attention to his dick. “D-Don't ignore it!”

Hiei hums, moving closer to his dick, blowing hot air onto his trembling length. Then, Hiei leaves a soft kiss over his head, and Kuwabara can’t  help the buck of his hips. But Hiei is still being a tease as he moves away.

“Hieiiii!” Kuwabara cries out to his boyfriend in a drawn out whine.

“No, I'm not convinced,” Hiei says, cupping his own chin in thought. “You'll have to coax me, Kazuma.” Then, as Hiei sits back on his haunches, he crosses his arms and says with a wicked grin. “Maybe if you play with yourself~”

Kuwabara huffs, glaring hard at the playful demon before him. So that's what he's wanted all along! It looks like the show Kuwabara gave him hours ago wasn't enough; Hiei wanted a private show! “I swear, if I had holy water I'd torture you with it!”

“We'll save the bondage play for next time. Now, you must tend to your aching cock~.”

Kuwabara props himself on his elbows, a deep scowl on his face. Hiei hasn’t seen his lover for months, and instead of making sweet love, he wants to play another one of his pervy games. Well, Kuwabara can play dirty too! 

Without warning, he grabbed Hiei by the arms, and drags him down, flipping their positions with Kuwabara now on top of the surprised other.

“Two can play that game, baby!” Kuwabara exclaims as he proceeds to remove his shirt over his head before tossing it aside hastily. 

Hiei’s surprised expression only lasts a short moment before a chuckle escapes his throat. “Eager, aren’t we?” Hiei comments as he follows suit and tosses his own offending shirt aside. Now both are bare from the waist up, with Hiei still swearing his pants and Kuwabara's boxers still clinging to his thighs.

Kuwabara hums, supporting himself on his knees as to not squish Hiei beneath him, Kuwabara gets so nervous about their vast size difference, but he knows this is Hiei's preferred position. Not only does he get to see Kuwabara in all his flustered glory, but this is the perfect view to see Kuwabara chest bounce and jiggle — an observation Hiei couldn’t freaking keep to himself!

Kuwabara grabs his large pecs, his blush deepening as he smirks at Hiei, feigning confidence. “C’mon, babe, ya know you want all this man~!” He says, squeezing his mounds together and rolling them in hand. “Don’t you miss holding these suckers? They’re all yours to grab~!”

Hiei’s expression is a bored one, merely raising a brow, unimpressed as Kuwabara's confidence slowly slips away. 

No, he can’t give up!

Swallowing thickly, Kuwabara plants his hands on the mattress, above Hiei’s head and cautiously settles himself down over Hiei’s crotch and awkwardly grinds his hips down. Hiei’s brows twitch the slightest bit, and Kuwabara takes that as his queue to keep going. He continues to roll his leaking dick onto Hiei’s clothed crotch. At least he’s hard, or else this would be awkward!

“C’mon, don’t be a buzzkill. Grab them~,” Kuwabara encourages, his large pecs nearly covering Hiei’s face from view. Then, hands are soon on his mounds, and Kuwabara gasps as those grubby fingers are immediately on his nipples. “Shit…” Kuwabara shivers as he’s instantly met with little jolts of electricity coursing through his spine. He was right, it feels better when Hiei is grabbing him there!

“They seem to have gotten bigger since the last time, Kazuma,” Hiei says, twisting and pinching the pink nubs a little more than firmly. Hot kisses are marking the center of his chest, and Kuwabara is instantly breathless, sighing contently as he continues to roll his hips. He didn’t think Hiei would crack so easily, but here he is, barely able to hold himself up as those lips continued to kiss and nip all over his chest.

“What you wrote is correct you know,” Hiei soon says, earning a confused hum from Kuwabara who is too busy swallowing down his drool. “I am obsessed with your large chest~.” Soon, a sharp set of teeth are biting down firmly over his chest, and Kuwabara gasps, hips stuttering as Hiei mercilessly tugs on his poor nub before consuming him, suckling away as his other hand rolled his free tit in hand.

“Y-ya pervert—“ Kuwabara lewdly whined as his trembling arms quickly lose their strength. If the pervert didn't stop soon, he'd be suffocated by Kuwabara's chest, though he knows for a fact Hiei wouldn't mind dying by his muscles. “H-Hiei!” He whines in warning, biting down on his bottom lip as that greedy mouth continues to suction the life out of him. Hiei is soon thrusting his hips mightily, surprisingly Kuwabara and bringing out a moan as his neglected dick finally gets the friction it needs.

“S-Stop already. I don't think I can stay like this much longer!” Kuwabara begs, whimpering as a tongue swirls around his areola before flicking his nipple.

“I mustn’t neglect your other breast~”

“T-they’re not breasts, they’re muscles—!” Kuwabara emits a whiny moan as Hiei is instantly suckling his other, untouched, nipple. Kuwabara’s head hangs, heated breaths escaping him as Hiei’s fingers slither to his back, scratching and leaving red marks over his flesh. “S-shit, you’re gonna make me—,” Kuwabara exclaims, as those hands are now squeezing and spreading his ass cheeks.

A familiar heat pulls over his stomach, and Kuwabara whimpers. “H-Hiei, I might c-cum!” He warns desperately, not wanting to cum like this, not yet. It’s too soon! He wants Hiei to be inside him, to have Hiei do more! But he only succeedes in Hiei squeezing his ass in a bruising grip, forcing Kuwabara’s hips to come down harder over his own erection. “B-babe, p-please w-wait!”

Finally, Hiei pulls away with a lewd pop, and Kuwabara violently shakes on his hands, panting excitedly. Hiei’s hands now settle over his hips, rubbing circles as he too pants for breath with drool clinging to his chin.

“Delicious…” Hiei says quietly to himself, but Kuwabara’s reddened ears hear him perfectly. One hand slithers up Kuwabara’s front, slowly, sensually as those fingers stop their journey to circle and tease his abs. Kuwabara shakes with each tickle of those digits before those hands finally settled over his cheek. Kuwabara sighs, biting his bottom lip as he anticipates Hiei’s next words.

“Quite the performance, Kazuma,” Hiei comments, propping himself closer until their lips meet for a kiss. A loud, drawn out smack breaks the silence of the room. “I won’t be so cruel as to keep you waiting. I’ve longed all these months for you, my sweet one.” Then, as he places three more lingering kisses over Kuwabara’s eager lips, Hiei says, “But, I wish to see you touch yourself. Show me how much you’ve missed me through your actions… like you did hours ago.”

Kuwabara nods, dreamily as he quickly crawls out of bed and shimmies out of his boxers. In seconds he’s on his knees, rummaging through his packing boxes in a frantic search. “Come on, come on…,” he grumbles to himself as he tosses all of his useless stuff over his shoulder. Why the hell did he pack the “pet rock” he had when he was in 5th grade? Is this why his boxes were so heavy? What other useless junk did he pack that he doesn’t need?

Finally, Kuwabara smiles, striking gold as he finds the half-empty bottle of lube he hid all the way at the bottom, just in case Shizuru decided to help him unpack his room. He turns to Hiei, who sits patiently on his bed with a smile. “I-I saved the bottle!” He exclaims shyly, feeling embarrassed over his eagerness as he walks back towards the bed. “W-we may need another bottle after this…”

“Then we’ll be sure to use every last drop tonight,” Hiei answers, his soft smile never leaving his face. 

Kuwabara’s heart tugs as he shyly bites down on his bottom lip, trying not to look goofy with the big grin threatening to spread over his cheeks. He can’t help it… “I really missed you, Hiei,” Kuwabara says, almost hesitantly as his voice is but a hushed whisper. 

“As did I, my dearest one,” Hiei whispers back as he supports himself up on his knees just as Kuwabara climbs back onto bed. Kuwabara and Hiei gaze into each other's eyes, a warm tenderness is shared amongst them as they share a sweet kiss. Hiei’s single arm encircles around his neck, fingers digging into his scalp as his other bandaged hand goes to Kuwabara’s hips, bringing Kuwabara flushed against his body. Kuwabara hums, his heart picking up as his hand goes to settle between Hiei’s shoulder blades, the other still holding the lube bottle. 

They gingerly kiss for a long moment, their bodies molding against one another as they take advantage of the other's presence, soaking in each other's heat as the room is filled with smacks and muffled sounds. They finally draw away from each other with a thin string of saliva breaking between them, both out of breath, both never tearing their gaze from each other.

“Prop yourself on the bed Kazuma,” Hiei whispers as he leaves an encouraging kiss over Kuwabara’s collarbone. 

With a gentle nod, Kuwabara wastes no time in grabbing his pillow and settling it against the wall. He rests his back against the cushion, putting himself in a sitting position with his legs spread and propped on the bed. Hiei settles between his legs just as Kuwabara pops the cap open and pours a generous amount of lube over his digits.

Kuwabara swallows nervously, looking up at Hiei as his fingers go down and past his dick and sack. Hiei’s gaze is fixated on his ass, watching the way Kuwabara’s finger rubbed up and down his wrinkled hole, teasing his own entrance over what’s to come, before sinking inside all the way to the knuckle.

Kuwabara tenses up, shuddering as he does so. “I-it’s beens while…,” he explains, taking shaky breaths as he attempts to relax his body as much as he can.

“You’ve waited for me,” Hiei says, his hands going to Kuwabara’s thighs and gently massaging the muscles to sooth his lover. Kuwabara bites down on his lip, slowly pumping his finger in and out and finding a nice, slow rhythm. It truly has been a while. In all honesty, ever since getting together with Hiei, they used to go at it like rabbits. Hiei is very handsy and attentive, albeit a bit of a devilishly tease, Kuwabara never had to worry about preparing himself since Hiei is and has always been one to volunteer to do it himself, whether that means using his fingers or his mouth.

Now, as he inserts a second finger, this is a whole new setting for him, preparing himself just to give his lover a show, and Kuwabara is having a hard time paying attention to stretching himself with Hiei’s tantalizing fingers rubbing along the flesh over his pelvis.

“Don't hurt yourself now,” Hiei comments just as Kuwabara flinches from trying to scissor himself.

“I'm not, I just…,” Kuwabara tries to explain, but he feels stage fright and like he's messing up. “W-Want you inside already…”

“Is that what got you going then?” Hiei's fingers are back on his thighs, massaging the pliable skin with his thumb. “Were you so eager for my cock you couldn't help but touch yourself, Kazuma? Did I truly leave my partner so desperate?”

Kuwabara bites his bottom lip, Hiei is now looking him directly in the eye, and Kuwabara feels so small under that gaze. “N-No… Well yeah but… at first I…”

“Yes…?” Hiei practically purrs. His fingers enclose around his dick, and Kuwabara whimpers as Hiei douses his dick with lube. He soon starts to pump his neglected dick in a slow, agonizing tempo, coating his entire length with the clear liquid. Kuwabara shivers, finally getting the friction he wanted!

“I… Fuck, I can’t… concentrate…!” Kuwabara says in between breaths. His mouth hangs open as he closes his eyes. Maybe if he doesn't look at Hiei, he can have an easier time—

“Try to remember dearest~,” Hiei starts, his thumb rubs along the vein popping on the underside of Kuwabara's dick, earning a violent shudder from his lover. “You were on your bed, fondling your own chest, pinching your pink nipples. You looked so desperate searching for pleasure as you called out for me.”

Kuwabara bites down on his lip as Hiei's hot kisses are back on his chest, kissing all over. Kuwabara muffles a moan as he pops an eye open to gaze down at the demon pecking at his chest. 

“Strange… I recall you saying how much you hate nipple play, but there you were, fantasizing about my lips on your breasts.”

“I-I don't hate nipple play. I hate when you call them breasts. They're muscles—” Kuwabara whines as Hiei's tongue attacks his left nipple, swirling around the areola before flicking the abused nub.

“Right. They're muscles. Huge, bouncy, squishy, muscles,” Hiei comments before taking his abused nipple back in his mouth.

“T-that's right!” Kuwabara says with a huff. He cocks his head back, moaning softly as Hiei suckles on him gently, continuing to pump his dick as he does so. He feels so good he has to stop thrusting his fingers. He tries his best to concentrate on stretching himself, pushing his digits all the way to the knuckle and pulling back, but he can't help but stop with each sharp suckle of Hiei's mouth.

“You were so eager and desperate, calling out my name. Did you really miss me? Or did you miss my hot cock sinking into your taint?” Hiei pulls away from his nipple, the bud now engorged and glossy with spit. His free hand goes to join Kuwabara's own, encouraging Kuwabara to push further into his hole. “Did it feel good playing with yourself?

Kuwabara swallows thickly, recalling the sensation of a few hours ago. He was so desperate then, recalling a memory of Hiei on top of him; recalling the way that sultry voice cooed and teased him; recalling how excited he felt when Hiei was spying on him just hours ago.

“Y-Yes, I did… But i-it felt even better when you were watching me…”

“Oh?” Hiei hums, slithering his own finger to join Kuwabara's own. Kuwabara jolts, the sting of that stretch sending electric shivers up his cock.

“Fuck! N-Now, that you're here, I-I missed you so much, it's hard to hold back!” Kuwabara's bites down on his lips, whimpering as three digits continued to prod and expand his velvety walls. He moans wantonly, rolling his hips onto those digits. “Hiei!” 

“Kazuma,” Hiei says his name so carefully. Hiei's finger extracts from his insides, and is soon prying Kuwabara's own digits out of him. Kuwabara sighs, head hanging to the side as he feels so empty now. Soon, he is met with an unbuckling sound, and he looks down in time to see Hiei's cock stand proudly, twitching and leaking with precum.

Kuwabara swallows thickly, mouth practically watering as Hiei pours the last amount of lube onto his cock. Hiei is soon pulling Kuwabara from the wall, having Kuwabara lie fully on his back with the pillow supporting his head. Kuwabara's thick thighs rest upon Hiei's own slender one’s, his cock rubbing up against his own sack and dick.

“You did well pleasing yourself Kazuma,” Hiei praises, his thumbs rubbing circles onto his hips. “It's time for your reward,” he promises as he angles his cock to press against his twitching hole before sinking his engorged head in.

Both Kuwabara and Hiei shudder, moaning as Hiei pushes slowly, gently inside his lover all the way to the hilt. 

“F-Fuck!” Kuwabara whispers, hands gripping the bed sheets as he takes deep, shaking breaths. He feels so full, so stuffed with Hiei finally inside him after so long. Precum dribbles from Kuwabara's length. He’s holding back the need to spurt, as Hiei pushing inside was almost enough for Kuwabara to cum undone.

“W-wait a sec, H-Hiei,” Kuwabara warns, but Hiei looks just as desperate to hold back.

“So tight…,” Hiei comments, remaining as still as possible for his Kazuma. He is as stiff as a board, trembling with his mouth hanging agape. His eyes are screwed shut with beads of sweat coursing down his face. “So… good… It's been so long.”

“ Too long…,” Kuwabara affirms, never feeling as connected with Hiei as he does right now. Does Hiei feel it too? The way their body yearn for each other and the feeling of finally being whole? Or maybe Hiei is right, Kuwabara just missed his cock!

Heated fingers feel around his pelvis, and Kuwabara glances down as Hiei pays special attention to the scar in the center of his stomach. A nasty gash that never left him even after Hiei had healed him. Hiei's eyes are concentrated on it, massaging the sensitive area. 

“There was a time,” Hiei starts, in between breaths, “where I couldn't bear to see the mark that scarred my sweet one…”

Kuwabara shudders as those fingers continue to prod at the healed skin. It doesn't hurt anymore, but it still tickles to touch. When Hiei first realized it would stay with Kuwabara forever, when he realized the wound had scarred, Hiei had blamed himself and agonized over it. Kuwabara wonders if Hiei still feels guilt even now? After a year…?

“I-It’s a badge I wear with pride, Hiei. You're not still upset about it? After all this time, ya softie?” Kuwabara questions, trying to lighten up the mood, not wanting Hiei to be angry with himself like before.

“No, I'm not upset… on the contrary,” Hiei explains, his thumbs continue to push and prod the pink flesh, moving up and down between the grooves of Kuwabara's abs before slowly making their way down to Kuwabara's hips, “the way I see it now… this mark is proof of my devotion to you, proof of my affection. This scar will forever mark the day I vowed to pursue you and make you mine…”

Kuwabara gasps as Hiei moves his hips back, drawing himself out. Kuwabara shudders, heart picking up as Hiei thrusts himself back in again, starting a slow rhythm. 

“This is my promise to you, for I will always keep you safe, will always return to you, will always keep my heart exposed to you… only for you, my Kazuma.” 

“Y-You told me y-you—,” Kuwabara gasps as Hiei’s pace picks up, going much quicker as those hands hold Kuwabara's waist fiercely, “Y-You confessed the same day you h-healed this wound, H-Hiei. T-Thats why I— I could—could never—” A moan slips out as Hiei brushes past his prostate. “T-there Hiei! Right there!”

Hiei makes a sound akeen to a growl as he continues to thrust into Kuwabara. His thumbs sink into his fair flesh, bruisingly, his claws threatening to extract for a better grip.

“Never forget, Kazuma,” Hiei continues, “The one who drives you mad with want and need, the one so ready to devour you and engulf you in pleasures unimaginable… The one who makes you cry out in sheer bliss with his cock alone~.”

“Hiei… Hiei!” Kuwabara cries out to his lover, being the only thing he can think to say. “F-Faster!” He begs, losing all inhibitions as he desperately rolls his ass in time with Hiei’s thrusts.

His legs are soon brought to his chest by two hands, bending him completely. Kuwabara's own hands join Hiei's, holding himself down as Hiei smiles down at him, a toothy grin spreading over his face as he's soon plummeting into Kuwabara promptly. 

Kuwabara can’t control the sound of his voice anymore— well, it's not like he cared that much when they first started. His cries practically bounces off the walls, replacing the sounds of their previous argument. No longer are the neighbors hearing a bickering couple, they're now listening to the passionate sounds of two people in need of each other.

“Tell me how much you've craved me, Kazuma! Tell me you missed my cock!” Hiei says in between huffs and growls. His smile never leaves his face as he's soon brutally slamming into Kuwabara's reddening ass.

Sopping, wet, sounds play along with Kuwabara's desperate cries as he begs, “Hiei— fuck! S-so good— so damn good! I-I missed your dick!”

“Of course you did, my sweet one,” Hiei says in between huffs. “You missed it so much you fantasized about me. My poor Kazuma, reduced to pleasuring himself.” 

Kuwabara can only nod in response, only able to rip cries of pleasure from his throat at this point. His stomach coils and his sack tingles, his cock now leaking beads of cum as his end comes near.

“H-Hiei, can I—” Kuwabara gasps mid sentence as a hand is soon holding his neglected dick, pumping him in time with Hiei’s thrusts. “Fuck— fuck! G-Gonna cum! C-Can I cum, Hiei?!” Kuwabara sobs, tears threatening to spill as he attempts to plunge his dick into Hiei's hand.

Hiei plows inside his beloved, sporadically as he does so, no longer following a tempo as he so eagerly chases his own impending orgasm. “Cum, Kazuma. Cum for me!” Hiei directs as he's soon plummeting his cock directly to Kuwabara's prostate repeatedly. 

Kuwabara sobs, nails sinking into his thighs as strings of cum come spilling out of his inflamed dick. He spasms, toes curling, drool pooling down his chin as his mind goes fuzzy. Stars are dancing over his vision as his body continues to shudder with Hiei's brutal thrusts.

“H-Hiei~,” he whines, his trembling frame struggling to hold his legs against his chest. Tears are spilling down his cheeks as he jolts with each rough thrust. “I-I can't—!” he begs in between gasps as Hiei continues to milk his limp dick.

Hiei groans, biting down on his jaw as he finally releases Kuwabara's sensitive length. He's soon pulling out of Kuwabara's pulsating walls, and furiously begins to pump his own glossy length. 

Kuwabara shudders, finally releasing his legs to crowd around Hiei instead. 

Hiei growls a low, “Kazuma…,” and is soon spurting his own white essence onto Kuwabara's belly, blending with Kuwabara’s own.

Hiei sighs heavily, eyes never leaving Kuwabara as he settles down on his haunches. Kuwabara shares the same sigh, a single hand going to rest over his eyes as he takes deep breaths. His ears are ringing and his heart is starting to settle down as he settles in the afterglow of his orgasm.

That might have been the best sex they've had in the year they've been together. Albeit, this is the first time they've been together in three months. He really did miss Hiei, and despite what he wrote in his dairy, he always looks forward to the sex each and every time. Hiei always knows how to drive Kuwabara crazy.

Kuwabara soon yelps in surprise, prying his hand from his face as a warm towel touches his belly. “Wh-where did you get that towel?” Kuwabara questions as he shakily pushes himself up to his elbows.

“The restroom. Where else?” Hiei remarks back, wiping Kuwabara's torso of all the sweat, spit, and cum. 

“H-How do you know where the bathroom is?” Kuwabara questions, jolting as Hiei is especially tentative over the bites on Kuwabara's chest.

“You showered today, so I followed the scent of a freshly used bathtub… Besides, you dozed off when I asked you.”

“I fell asleep?” Kuwabara questions, flabbergasted. He didn't realize he snoozed off for a bit, the day before had really taken a toll on him; his muscles were sore from heavy lifting. “W-wait, that's my only towel! You can't use it as a cum rag!”

“I already have,” Hiei says, wiping the remainder of Kuwabara off before tossing the now soiled towel aside. Kuwabara grumbles, muttering about getting new towels as soon as morning comes, but he's interrupted by a hand so gently cupping his face. 

“Did you feel good?” Hiei asks as always, his thumb rubbing circles onto Kuwabara's cheekbones.

Kuwabara smiles, his own hand going to cup Hiei's as he nuzzles his bandaged palm. “I did… Did you?” Kuwabara asks back, kissing Hiei’s hand. “Did you wanna go again?”

Hiei hums, shaking his head, “I'm sedate… for now anyway. I don't want to push you, especially after such a long day.”

“Are ya sure? I know you like to go three times…” Kuwabara can’t help but make sure. Hiei is an animal in bed that can go for hours. Just cumming once between them feels so weird. “I could blow ya or even give you a handy?”

“I'm content, my sweet one.” Hiei kisses Kuwabara, a quick little peck that makes Kuwabara's chest flutter all the same. Hiei then places a kiss over the tip of Kuwabara's nose, for good measure before completely flopping himself down over Kuwabara's chest. “Home at last…,” Hiei says mostly to himself, a sigh soon following.

“I'm starting to think you miss my muscles more than me…!” Kuwabara says, half heartedly as he knows Hiei loves him for himself… despite the way he's smothering his face between Kuwabara's pecs. Kuwabara hums as he slumps back down on the bed with his arms around Hiei. He's only been in his new apartment for one night. But with Hiei… it does feel like home.

“What is it you need to do today?” Hiei asks.

“Well… for one, I need a new towel,” Kuwabara explains, a light lecture in his tone. His hand rubs up and down Hiei’s spine, eliciting a soft hum from him. “Kurama and Urameshi wanted to go furniture shopping. Nothing too big, just some stuff to make the place more homey. Then I gotta unpack and reassemble Eikichi's cat tower. She's still at the house, and I didn't want to stress her out with the move just yet.”

“I was wondering where she was… She's usually scratching at the door when I have you to myself.”

“Your rivalry with my cat is weird, ya know,”

“She needs to understand I don't like to share…,” Hiei says before yawning and stretching much like a feline. Maybe that's why Hiei and Eikichi don't get along, Hiei is very cat-like and most cats don't get along.

Hiei’s arms are tight around Kuwabara's torso, his face planted in between Kuwabara's chest as he lightly starts to snore. Kuwabara smiles, yawning himself as he grabs the bed covers and throws it on top of them.

“I missed you… you gremlin…,” he mutters softly into the silence of the night.

Hiei responds with a hum, arms squeezing his sides in answer. Kuwabara's smile then falters, heart now speeding as he swallows nervously. A single hand rubs circles arounds Hiei's middle as he musters the courage to say his next few words.

“Hey Hiei…,” he starts, voice careful and timid, “Can I… ask you something…?”

No answer, but Kuwabara knew Hiei was listening. He brings his hands up, above his own face and nervously fiddles with his fingers.

“Will you… I mean, if it's not too much trouble… um… ya see, this place is too big for one guy… and a cat… I know I'm a big boy and can take care of myself, but most couples—”

“Spit it out, Kazuma,” Hiei says, groggily, impatiently. 

“Will you… um… move in with me?” there, he said it, he really said it! Kuwabara's face soon starts to heat up, and his hands go to frantically pat Hiei's back. “Y-Ya know! Ya dont have too, obviously it was an idea! I missed ya so much, and since we love each other so much, I just thought, ya know, it would be nice to live together, ya know! Ahg, you probably fell asleep by now! I guess I won't bring it up again! Of course you don't want to, it's too soon—! ”

“Didn't I say I was content to be home…?” Hiei interrupts his tangent. Kuwabara holds his tongue, his all over blush settling over his cheeks instead. “Obviously I can't leave you alone with your thoughts, now can I?”

“No…. No you can't!” Kuwabara giggles as he gives Hiei one hard squeeze, nuzzling his face in his hair. “I'll make sure to get matching towels!”

“Something black is preferred…”

“I was thinking a nice blue or gray…”

Kazuma hums in his sleep, muttering something incoherent as he nuzzles his face into a smaller chest. His big arms squeezes the demon he's using as a body pillow, and he whispers his lover's name before he snores away.

Hiei hums, leaning down to place a kiss on top of Kazuma’s head. His fingers massage Kazuma's scalp, and he smiles at the goofy grin spreading over his lover's face. How I’ve missed this silly smile of yours… even down to your drooling.

Three months is nothing to a demon, but to a human, so much happens to them in that short period. Time is different compared to Spirit World; he mustn’t forget to visit his human as often as possible, at least until his mission is over. Hiei thinks to thank Kurama for sending for him when he did; his human has been so lonely, so depressed for him, longing for him just as Hiei has longed for his Kazuma. 

Hiei’s eyes trace over his lover's features, tracing his high cheekbones, those small lashes, to the droplets of drool pooling over his chest.

King Enma has kept him busy with mealy tasks, so little in fact Hiei is surprised he hasn’t blown up and messed up on any of them. King Enma has him doing all these loops and turns; from scouring the deepest jungles for fugitives running from the law, to repairing the roof top of one of his summer homes. All in the name of getting closer to Hiei's goal, but Hiei fails to see why polishing a wooden floor will get him any closer to repairing the Forlorn Hope.

With one hand still soothing his lover's scalp, Hiei flips through the next page of the green journal.

Urameshi is inhuman I tell ya! 

How the hell does one guy beat up a whole gang of highschool delinquents?! The guys and I saw the whole thing! These high school punks from Yue High are known to challenge and beat up middle schoolers for their lunch money. I guess they've never heard of Urameshi's reputation, because the punk had them all bleeding and begging for their lives just in a matter of seconds! Urameshi hardly has a scratch!

As a man, I believe it's cowardly to gang up on one person, especially someone younger than you, so these assholes had it coming! I can't stand Urameshi, but you can't help but admire him… 

Kazuma groans in his sleep as Hiei pinches his cheek, tugging on it playfully as he says, “Admirable huh? If I didn't know any better, you seem to admire the detective in more ways than one.”

Kazuma snores in answer, grumbling a, “I'll… kick your ass… Urameshi…” 

Hiei hums in answer as he continues to read all the strategies Kazuma put together in order to finally have Yusuke, as he puts it, “beg for his life”. 

Hiei doesn't normally pry into people's intimate life, but he can’t help his curiosity. What goes on in this little head of his Kazuma? This diary may even give insight into when Kazuma started looking Hiei's way. Though, it looks like Hiei is reading through the early years of Kazuma and his challenges with who else but Yusuke himself.

Even before joining the spirit detective in his adventures, Kazuma always seems to be there fighting for the better good, his loyalty knows no bounds. As he reads over the line of Kazuma accepting a beating from an adult after they accused his friend of stealing, Kazuma would go on and explain he would remain shielding his friend until the police came. 

Of course they didn’t believe a bunch of punks, but at least we were off with a warning!

Hiei chuckles to himself as he flips through the next page. His personality is the main reason Hiei fell so hard. Always putting others before himself and having his heart at his sleeves. Hiei can't fathom being as forefront with his own emotions like Kazuma is. For years Hiei has thought the man to be so foolish, that his own feelings would lead him to an early grave. But the more Kazuma kept persevering with his battles, the more Hiei couldn't help his own heart from being swayed each time.

He had spent so many years in denial of his own affection for Kazuma, Hiei plans on only spoiling and coddling his lover for many years to come. To live alongside him in this apartment, to go “furniture” shopping, to grow old together in their twilight years… an impossible thing to do between a human and demon… Which is why Hiei is working so hard alongside King Enma.

To live a long and meaningful life along with his beloved, Hiei plans to turn their lives around drastically and for the better. Demons live for many centuries, outliving humans and even their descendants. Demons are thought to be immortal because of their long life line, and although Hiei wishes his lover would live alongside him for the next millennium, he won't subject his lover to such a long, cruel life. He's already made so many connections in the human world, to see those lives he's come to love die all while living as a demon, Hiei won't subject his beloved to the heart ache. He won't even entertain the idea of asking Kazuma to do such a thing.

So the next best thing is to turn himself human. 

King Enma couldn't believe his own proposition, considering Hiei's long reputation of hating any and all humans. But, as Hiei swirls his finger around a thick curly strand, he's come to find out not all humans are bad. There are bad as well as good characters in both humans and demons alike. King Enma had even gone as far as accusing Hiei for foolery, and even threatened to punish him, but Hiei was adamant and accepted any punishment King Enma would throw his way.

As a result he became an errands boy, which entailed a bunch of meaningless tasks thrown Hiei's way. Home repair had been the main thing, Hiei can't imagine why a single being would need so many damn homes; paperwork followed, a never ending stack of files after files, Hiei actually took pity on the ogres who are always running around; and finally hunting, Hiei grew hopeful that finally all his work would finally reward him…

He was wrong.

Of all the things Hiei had hunted down, one item sounded promising. A blue hibiscus plant, triple the size of the one in the human realm. What makes the plant especially desirable is the golden sap it secretes under the light of a blue moon. The sap is said to hold healing properties, and Hiei scavenged long and hard for the damn plant. He even went as far as having Kurama tag along as he's so well versed in the subject.

He spared the fox the details of the importance of this mission, he doesn’t need an outsider to tell him how to keep his relationship with his human. However, Kurama, the ever keen one, couldn't help his unwanted comment, “Make sure to at least let Kazuma in the know… you don't want to end up hurting him.” Of course Kurama knows about them. Kazuma isn’t good at hiding his affection for Hiei, which Hiei finds charming and adorable. Kurama knew about their blossoming affection before Hiei could understand his own feelings.

Hurting Kazuma is the last thing he wants to do, which is why he is working so hard alongside King Enma. This is for the both of them, and although he knows his human loves him dearly, Hiei would rather carry the burden alone then to hear Kazuma's protest. He's already made up his mind after all; he'd rather lose his livelihood as a demon and live a human life than to live decades without the one precious thing he holds dear. 

So, with the help of the Forlorn Hope, Hiei plans on making this selfish wish. The only steps he needs is to one: gain King Enma's permission to use the artifact, and two: repair the broken mirror. There's a chance the shattered glass may not grant him a wish at all, it needs some repairing. Hiei had thought King Enma needed the blue plant to use its healing properties on the Forlorn Hope, but instead the wastrel beast who calls himself King instead used the plant for his afternoon tea. Hiei had scavenged hard for a damn weed just to cure King Enma’s bunion problem.

That's when Hiei decided to head home to Kazuma, save King Enma from a murderous demon from rampaging his newly furnished living room. In turn, Hiei ended up taking his frustrations out on his sweet one, who is far from having a fault from any of this. 

I think I like Urameshi…!

Hiei's eyes widen at that line alone, lips pursing and brows narrowing. His hand wraps possessively over the sleeping Kazuma as he brings the diary closer to his face.

I think I like Urameshi!

My own sworn enemy, my rival! It sounds crazy even writing it on paper, but I don't know what else this feeling could be?!

No, no, maybe I'm in over my head! That's got to be it. There's no way I like that asshole, he's just strong and a worthy person to call my equal, that's got to be it…

But damn it, why does his shit eating smile make me feel this way?! It's like there's a million butterflies in my belly when I look at him—

Hiei aggressively flips through the next few pages, a vein popping on his forehead as he skims all the ways his Kazuma is in denial and proving his affection is only clouded rivalry, reading Kazuma’s clear crush written on paper. Hiei always knew Kuzuma and Yusuke’s affection for each other was more than just friendship. How else would they explain their obsession to one up each other, Yusuke's protectiveness over his Kazuma, his Kazuma’s need to always follow Yusuke around?

Looks like I'll have to kill the spirit detective, Hiei promises. He and Yusuke may have made their peace with one another, but if there's ever a chance his beloved may be whisked away from him then Hiei must eliminate the competition— 

Screw Urameshi! You like Hiei now!

Hiei relaxes, sighing heavily as tension leaves his body. The yellow sticky note clinging to the center of the page being all the reassurance Hiei needed. Hiei smiles to himself, pressing the diary to his face. Of course Kazuma's feelings for him are absolute, he mustn’t lose his cool and burn the diary. He doesn't need Kazuma kicking him out of bed and possibly out of his life. 

Hiei sighs once again, settling the diary down on the bed as he gazes at the ceiling. The rays of dawn gently cascade and shine through the thin curtains; a new day arrives.

Kazuma lightly snores away, muttering a sweet, “Hiei…,” before gigging along. Hiei gazes down at him, his knuckles brushing his cheekbone so gently. 

Since coming together he's agonized over how to keep Kazuma at his side. Perhaps it's too soon for such thoughts of his beloved's passing, considering they've only come together for as little as a year, but Hiei had decided from the get go that Kazuma will be his one and only.

And even if it takes years before King Enma finally grants him the permission to use the Forlorn Hope, Hiei will know Kazuma will be there at his side. There will be protest, perhaps even disagreement to Hiei’s decision, but until that time comes, Hiei will salvage the precious time he has with his human. His sweet one.

“Urameshi… that's my… spring roll…!” Kazuma growls in his sleep.

Hiei chuckles, giving his beloved one more kiss on his forehead. “From now on I won’t leave you alone with the spirit detective.”

Hey diary it's me, Kuwabara Kazuma!

Let me tell ya, living in this apartment has been a SHIT SHOW! Not only did the bathtub clog up twice, but Hiei found a beehive as big as a football right outside the window! I don't know how I didn't see it when I first moved in, it was massive! 

The neighbors aren't too friendly either, they've tried to pick a fight with Hiei over their missing packages, and Hiei, not one to let things slide, threatened their lives of course. I think the neighbor is still sore over me having a sweet lover at my side, and he still lives with his mom! HAHAHA the loser! Ya know, I bet he's the one who's made the noise complaint! 

A rough start to the first few weeks as adults, but I wouldn't have it any other way! Hiei has lived with me since day one, and it's been so much fun! We finally managed to make pancakes without making a big mess or setting off the fire alarm! Hiei had brought a number of his belongings, some expected and some unexpected. Ya know, when Kurama said he and Hiei used to be kleptomaniacs, I expected them to have… I don't know, gems and gold doubloons! Hiei has a massive collection of random weapons he claims he's won “fair and square,” but I know he's killed a guy or two for them. We're going to hang them up in the living room… call them a “conversation starter” if you will. Eikichi has finally settled in, it took a few days but she's fine now… but her rivalry with Hiei is still holding up strong. I think she's more bummed about my boyfriend moving in over leaving our old place. I swear I'm going to come home to either a dead cat or a dead boyfriend. Yes, I think Eikichi can definitely kick Hiei's ass!

It's been a roller-coaster that's for damn sure, but a fun one! Hiei says he's going to leave for another long while, and I made him promise to at least keep in touch. We made an agreement; whatever Hiei has to deal with in Spirit World, he will do so himself and safely. But, if Hiei doesn't come back after a month, I will go hunt him down myself! It's only fair as his dotting and strong boyfriend! It's up to me to save the day!

Before he leaves though, we're gonna tell the guys finally, after a year! We're going to tell them today! We're hosting a mini party just for the occasion, well I guess you can also call it a small “goodbye” party since Hiei's going to Spirit World.

Anyway! I'm excited, but extremely nervous too! I know my best friends will be nothing but happy for us, but I can't help but feel jittery! It's gonna be the guys, Keiko, Shirzuru, and Yukina! I managed to convince Hiei to tell his sister of course, so long as we don't tell Botan for obvious reasons.

Deep breaths and calming energies, at least that's what Mr. Tanaka used to say! After today, it is me and Hiei and the rest of our lives!

.

.

.

EVERYONE ALREADY KNEW! NO ONE WAS SURPRISED AT ALL! NOT EVEN YUKINA! EVEN HIEI KNEW THAT EVERYONE KNEW! WHAT THE HELL?!

OF COURSE BOTAN TOLD EVERYONE BEFORE I COULD! 

Shizuru made the BIG MISTAKE of telling her blabbermouth girlfriend, and she just went telling everyone in Spirit World! I BET SHE DID IT WITH A BIG MEGAPHONE ON HER OAR.

It was embarrassing as hell being the only one in the dark! 

But… if there's one good thing that came out of it, it was Kurama telling me how he is sure Hiei fell for me first! Thinking about it now, Hiei's constant bullying was a sheer sign that he had a crush! “The little guy just didn't know how to show his big boy emotions!” Urameshi had said, and Hiei nearly tore his head from his shoulders!

The party was fun I suppose… though I plan on giving Botan a STERN TALKING TOO. Hiei had even promised to kill her on “my behalf” which I promised wasn't a big deal.

But it's Hiei, always promising death left and right.

Oh well.

Hurry home you jerk! I'll be waiting with Eikichi! Don't worry, Kurama and Urameshi will keep me occupied! 

Your loving boyfriend

Kuwabara Kazuma.