Work Text:
She looks out at the green-grey waters and thinks about the time he took her to the beach. “Mulder it’s the middle of winter.” she had said while putting down her book. “What exactly did you have in mind?”
He had plopped down on the couch next to her, his weight making a ripple of movement that made her bob like a buoy. “Scully, as much as I enjoy the sight of you in a bathing suit, I was thinking more along the lines of listening to the rain fall while we look out the window. Blankets, good coffee, the smell of that crisp ocean air. Maybe even testing the compulsory bear rug in front of the fireplace. Nakedness mandatory.”
There, they had spoken about their childhood and they had tried not to leave the bed. She pretended that the dark wooden headboard was the bow of their boat, that the rocking of their lovemaking was a result of calm, lapping ripples or fierce, urgent storms.
To this day, she can’t say no to water. It was always the stable element of growing up. Different cities, but never landlocked. Melissa had always said that the Scullys were made up of the four elements. Head like fire, skinned knees of earth. Mutable like air and always, always the sea. She and the water are old friends.
Now she inhales deeply and can smell the salt, the wet crystals in the air. She knows which direction the wind is coming from, that more clouds are on their way. She realises then that she is the last of the Scully women. That once she flings her mother’s ashes out in the water she will be alone, no women will come after her unless Charlie and Bill have them, but it is not the same.
She can’t help thinking back on the last time she was here, with Maggie, stoically observing how her father’s ashes were flying into the ocean he had sailed and loved. Somewhere, beyond the sea. She thinks.
She breaks.
Mulder, who has been sitting quietly next to her moves to hold her, ignoring the distance between them, the bitter arguments and subsequent silences. His hand rubs her back in rhythm with the waves and she presses her face against his chest and weeps, savouring his warmth. She lifts her chin and decides to kiss him, trying to feel like she is not drifting away and that he is the anchor that will keep her ashore. She pulls away and tastes salt.
He is crying too.