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“I’m gonna rip my fucking hair out,” is what Dazai mutters to himself when an irritating pain settles in his lower stomach, causing him to wake up and effectively interrupting the rare times he gets to sleep. His immediate thought is that he’s not completely sure how to deal with this without waking Kunikida up - who doesn’t even know he has a period.
In all honesty, he should’ve seen it coming - his mood swings have gotten worse over the last week, his suicidal ideations increased - all tell tale signs he was starting. He hasn’t even told Kunikida about the fact he’s trans yet. They’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks, and despite Dazai knowing he’d take it well, he’s not sure if he wants to risk the relationship he’s worked for all this time.
He stands up before grabbing a pad he stole from Yosano’s office from his coat pocket, and silently slips into the bathroom. When he comes back out, a shirtless Kunikida is sitting up, rubbing his eyes. “Everythin’ alright?” He slurs, sounding still half asleep. Dazai hesitates. It’s just Kunikida. Sweet, beautiful Kunikida who has made it abundantly clear how much he cares for Dazai despite all of his other shortcomings, traits, and accomplishments - what’s one more?
Kunikida must sense something’s the matter because he visually wakes up a bit more before putting on his glasses and flicking on the lamp next to the futon in one smooth movement. Dazai opens and closes his mouth a few times, uncharacteristically nervous for what he’s about to say. Nobody at the agency really knows besides Yosano and Ranpo - the former who he told during a check up, and the latter being who he is, figured it out pretty quickly. “Do you happen to have any… pain medication? Or a heating pad?” He starts. Kunikida flashes a look of concern. “Is everything okay?” He asks, while moving to stand up and walk towards Dazai. He puts the back of his palm on Dazai’s head, as if to check his temperature. His brows are furrowed in a way that Dazai finds particularly endearing. He nods, too nervous to say anything else, not used to this sense of vulnerability with somebody he cares for. The discomfort in his abdomen and hips increase while he gathers the courage to admit what the issue is. As if sensing his discomfort, Kunikida intertwines their fingers and gently guides Dazai to the futon before quickly leaving the room to retrieve what his partner asked for.
Dazai curls into a little ball to help the pain before he hears Kunikida coming back with a glass of water, over-the-counter pain medication, and a heating pad in hand. He plugs in the heating pad and sets it down besides Dazai before moving to his respective spot next to him, beginning to soothingly run his fingers through his hair. The pain continued elevating until it reached a certain level, becoming stagnant, yet excruciatingly annoying. “I’m sorry for waking you.” He sees Kunikida shake his head in response. “It’s not your fault I’m a light sleeper,”
“I’m worried, though. Is everything okay?”
Dazai readjusts so his head is laying in Kunikida’s lap, still rolled up in a ball with the heating pad pressed against his hips. He considers the best way to do this before making a decision.
“My first day is always the worst.” He says, before carefully watching Kunikida’s expression change between confusion to understanding. “Oh, so,” Kunikida starts, obviously piecing it together in his head. “Oh, okay.”
“I’m sorry.” Dazai blurts. Kunikida raises an eyebrow. “For what?”
“Not telling you. I feel like I’ve tricked you.”
“Dazai, this doesn’t change anything about how I feel for you. It wouldn’t change anything if I knew before. You don’t have to feel guilty. If anything, it’s not my business. I’m glad you did tell me, and you felt comfortable doing so.” Kunikida explains. “Not because I have a right to know, but because I want to know how to help and take care of you. Through everything, even this.” He kisses him on the top of his head, through his soft brown hair. “Especially this.”
There’s a few moments of silence before Dazai tugs his sleeve, indicating he wants Kunikida to lay down with him. He clicks off the lamp, laying his glasses down before he turns on his side, resting his head on the pillow. Dazai cups his face. His cheeks are flushed pink, and he hums something that sounds like a thank you. Kunikida kisses his forehead before allowing Dazai to pull him closer, his heartbeat lulling them both to sleep.