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It was past midnight when he woke up to the empty feeling of the bed. Slowly he sat up searching the room for a familiar figure as his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room.
“Suguru?” He called out, his voice sounding nothing more than a hoarse sound. Looking around again, his eyes now adjusted to the dark, he followed the dim light that came from the open balcony door.
Walking towards the balcony he caught the scent of burning nicotine and his best friend leaning against the rails.
“Since when did you smoke?” He asked, from the way Suguru shrugged his shoulders he could tell the guy knew he woke up.
“Don’t know.” Suguru said, taking a long drag of nicotine before exhaling the smoke in the dark. “I just suddenly started smoking one day.” He continued, looking up at the empty sky.
He gazed at his friend, his long dark locks gently flowing with the cold autumn breeze. His figure looking thinner than usual. Since when did he lose weight? He wondered.
“Shoko rubbed off of you?” He teased, standing behind Suguru and resting his head on the shorter male’s shoulder. Suguru didn’t say anything, he just leaned into Satoru’s touch.
Satoru wrapped his arms around his best friend’s waist. His lips grazing the curve of Suguru’s neck until he reached the others sensitive ears, nibbling it before leaving a kiss.
“What is it?” Satoru asked, pulling the other closer to him. Suguru sighed again before turning to face the guy hugging him.
To say that Suguru looked tired was an understatement. He looked exhausted, eyes were dark with bags and his once beautiful features looked sunken from the weight his lost.
Suguru looked him in the eyes, hands draping gently on his shoulders. “Are you strong because you’re Gojo Satoru or are you Gojo Satoru because you are strong?” Suguru asked, his eyes blank and tired. It was like staring into a void.
The question was confusing, what did he mean about that? Was he strong because he was Gojo or was he Gojo because he was strong? He couldn’t understand anything Suguru said. But before he could ask anything Suguru closed the distance between them connecting their lips in a gentle kiss.
“Ignore my question. Just a lot going on.” Suguru said as he leaned his forehead against Satoru. “Tell me what’s bothering you.” He said, eyes focused on his best friend’s face. Suguru had his eyes closed but from how his brows were furrowed Satoru knew he was hiding something. But he couldn’t ask what it was as Suguru remained quiet.
They stayed there in the balcony heads leaning against each other, the quietness of the night drowning their thoughts.
Satoru leaned his head in closing the distance between their lips, kissing Suguru was the best relief he could offer. He didn’t want to force him into telling him what’s wrong, so the least he could do was to comfort him with love.
It was dark outside except for the moonlight that illuminated their figures in the balcony. Their kiss was slow as Satoru began caressing his best friend’s body. His hands travelling down Suguru’s waist as he gently nudges his tongue inside Suguru’s mouth.
The trail of warm hand going down on his back made Suguru feel warm, the lips that have now made their way on his neck felt like burn marks. Suguru sighs tightening his arms around Satoru’s neck.
“We’re outside.” Suguru whispers breathlessly. Satoru’s hands have made their way inside his pants caressing his ass ever so gently before playing with his hole.
Satoru ignores the warning and proceed to spread Suguru’s leg. It was true they were outside but it was late at night and no one’s awake so what could go wrong. Satoru smirked at his best friend kissing him again before inserting two fingers in him.
Suguru made a muffled sound, probably a moan trying to escape as Satoru fingered him out in the balcony. It was cold outside but neither one of them could feel it. Suguru was red from his face down to his neck, he bit his lips to muffle any unwanted sound that may wake their neighbours up.
“S-satoru… be-bed… can’t… legs…” Suguru said in between breaths. With three fingers in his ass he could barely hold in the moans that were coming out of him.
Satoru stopped and looked him in the eye, Suguru was flushed his face was sparkling with beads of sweat forming on his forehead, his hair falling messily in front of his face as he breathed heavily.
Suguru pushed Satoru back slowly guiding him back inside their room and onto bed. Satoru stopped on his tracks when he felt the bed behind his leg. In a matter of minutes they were both in bed Satoru on top of his best friend.
Satoru kissed every inch of Suguru’s body. Leaving marks that claimed the sorcerer to be his. Lower and lower until he reached Suguru’s boxers. Carefully Satoru stripped him off his clothes, still pampering him with soft kisses.
Suguru’s hand found Satoru’s hair. Tightening his grip as the taller male sucked him off while fingering him. This wasn’t the first time they did this but somehow tonight he felt more sensitive. With every thrust Satoru hits his prostate and his moans grow louder and louder.
“—nough… haa… ahh just put it in ngh—“ Suguru moaned, he looked like a wreck he can tell. Satoru pulled out his fingers and began removing his boxers.
I never noticed that it was that big. Suguru thought staring down Satoru’s dick. “I’ll be gentle.” Satoru assures as he aligns his member in front of Suguru’s hole.
It was tight and hot, he could tell as Suguru’s face turns into a frown his lips agape and his breathing ragged.
“Suguru, look at me. Deep breaths” Satoru says, kissing him for the nth time that night. Once he was fully seethed inside he waited for Suguru to give him an ok before pulling out and thrusting again.
It was slow at first then it picked up pace after a while. Suguru felt hot, his body felt like fire was coursing through his veins every thrust Satoru did made his eyes water. It was so good Satoru hitting his prostate with every thrust made him feel like he was seeing stars.
He felt bad for their neighbours, honestly. The walls weren’t thin but he could swear he’s moans sounds a little too loud than usual. The quietness of the night was filled with sounds of skin slapping and moans that bounced off the walls.
Satoru.
Satoru.
Satoru.
He never knew that he could feel everything at once. The pain and pleasure was so good that it made him forget. It made him forget about the deaths, the sufferings and the loss that they have to suffer.
But everything ended that night. Satoru had gotten stroger mastering both inverse and reversed cursed techniques. And he was sent on more alone missions with Ieiri forgoing anything related to dangerous works.
It was starting to bother him. The exorcism, absorption; Everything. It was becoming repetative and the death of Riko was still hanging heavy on his shoulders. Regrets from that day was still replaying and echoing in his head. The applause of the people when Riko’s dead body emerged in Gojo’s arms.
“What if he didn’t stop Satoru?” “What if they killed those clueless cult members?” “What if they never accepted the mission on the first hand?”
Regrets and “What ifs” running in his head all the time. Add to that the conversation with Yuki didn’t help.
“I don’t agree with the institutions morals. I believe we could eradicate curse energy for all”
But what if, no that would be too cruel. But with him. With him it might be possible.
Monkeys. Kill the stupid monkeys.
Missions become more dangerous. Most times Satoru was sent as he’s become the strongest on his own. He didn’t need a partner bor does he need assistance. He can heal and attack all on his own. Practically invincible.
But one day death arrived again. Haibara, their cheerful always smiling junior died due to mislabeled mission. A supposed 2nd grade mission turned out to be a Special Grade.
It left Nanami scarred, and depressed. And He questioned himself, what if at the end of this exorcisms death is all that await. His friends in body bags, blood spilled endlessly because they kept saving non sorcerers?
His mind was racing everything was. How could the institution not care? How could the higher ups not protect them? Haibara was young, only 16 and he died because no one bothered to check if the mission was really fit for them?
No they shouldn’t be wasting their time on non sorcerers.
They should all just… die.
Weeks passed and another mission was given to him. A village has been having problems with curses. Or at least that’s what they said.
To his surprise, two kids imprisoned by the villagers getting blamed for “misfortunes” that has happened. And the village cheif wanted them dead.
His mind became fuzzy when he heard their request. “Kill them their causing misfortune for our village” the wife of the chief spoke. He listened to the complains while looking at the girls. Both looked scared, terrified even. Both had visible scars and bruises probably from the villager’s mistreating, shunning and beating them.
A vien in his head ticked upon hearing those. Kill? Why? He could obviously sense that the girls weren’t the reason behind the curses. And the villagers were just looking for people to blame. Sure he could tell the girls were born from a family of sorcerers but they weren’t causing the emergence of cursed spirits.
But isn’t it enough to imprison the girls until sorcerers arrived? Why beat and hurt them, then now they want the girls, two girls who look no more than 8 years old killed?
Wait wait wait. What is going on? I was told curses were bothering the village. But all I see are scared girls who have been beaten and imprisoned. What the hell is going on?
“You’re wrong” the words slipped out of his mouth as the complaints of the village chief and his wife grew. “Why don’t we go outside?” He spoke with a smile, this time loud enough to stop their rants.
Everything happened quick that day. And if people asked if he regretted it, he’d say no. He doesn’t regret it. He will do it again and again if it means saving fellow sorcerers from being shunned and killed because they’re different.
A world without monkeys will give us more freedom.
That day he made it in the history books. That day he was a criminal. But he didn’t care. The monkeys deserved it. And he believes that with them gone sorcerers would have a better life.
Eradicate the source and the problem would be solved.
——
“Suguru. Is it true? Did you really do it?” Satoru asked. They were in the middle of a busy streets of Shinjuku. He had just met Ieiri a few hours before and she asked the same thing. He answered honestly telling her the truth before she called Satoru.
“What do you think?” He answered, stopping on his tracks. He didn’t look, he didn’t even turn his head but he could tell Satoru was pissed, he knew from his answer alone Satoru could tell he wasn’t lying.
“Why did you do it? And to your own parents as well?” Satoru screamed. He was angry, probably enough that if he made the wrong move now Satoru wouldn’t hesitate to kill him.
“I have my reasons. And I can’t just exclude my parents just because of personal ties. I ahve other worries now.” He explained before facing Satoru.
Satoru was furious. That was sure. But he knew the guy wouldn’t capture him even if he was sent to do so. Satoru would probably just kill him. Give him a quick death from how angry and confused he felt.
They stared at each other for a good while. Satoru trying and failing to understand his actions. And he was just standing there, all his emotions sealed off and thrown aside before he spoke in a cold harsh tone.
“Are you the strongest because you are Gojo Satoru, or are you Gojo Satoru because you are the strongest?”
He has asked him this before, the last time they had been together. The last time they were equal. Before everything changed.
Satoru gritted his teeth. He was confused but he knew the question. Suguru asked him that before. But still it confused him. He was Gojo Satoru because he was strong. That’s it.
“What do you mean by that?” Gojo asked his voice filled with frustration and anger. And Suguru looked unbothered. He looked back with a blank expression and sunken face.
“It was like that night” Satoru thought.”his eyes, skin and face. He’s different. That’s not the Suguru I know. Something is bothering him and he wouldn’t say” his thought raced.
“I thought we shouldn’t do meaningless killings? Didn’t you say that?” Satoru continued he was pissed really pissed but he wanted to know. He wanted to understand Suguru.
“It’s not meaningless.” Suguru spoke, turning away from him “And if you were given the chance you’d probably do it as well” Suguru continued, walking away and ignoring him.
As Suguru turned his back and walked away he said one last thing to Satoru. It wasn’t exactly a threat nor a warning. It was just a simple message.
If you kill me, just take my life and no one else.