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They were in a fairly routine fight against a giant mystical clock woman when disaster struck. In hindsight, Goro should have noticed that things were going suspiciously well.
"This one's too easy to be taking this long," Skull complained, cracking his knuckles as Fox tried to freeze the Norn.
"True," Joker said. "Hit it really hard, maybe we'll see time fly."
Goro rolled his eyes and Skull groaned.
"Dude, that was lame."
"Don't get wound up. We're just killing time."
Fox chuckled and Skull mimed throwing up. He wasn't wrong, although Goro would never express himself so inelegantly. Apparently the shadow felt the same, because it let out a screech that buzzed in the base of his skull.
Insolent boy, it said in a voice like the hum of a burning power line. You have no respect for wisdom or power.
"Oh no, looks like I ticked it off," Joker said in a stage whisper.
The golden wings of the clock began to glow and the whole thing started to tremble violently.
"Joker, what's happening?" Goro asked, voice light though he wanted to snap.
"I don't know, it hasn't done that before. Everybody guard!"
Instead of following his own advice, Joker used an Idaten Ofuda, raising everyone's evasion at the cost of leaving himself vulnerable. The Norn shot a beam of golden light and Goro jumped aside, skin tingling with the feeling of magic rushing by.
Skull and Fox dodged as well, but the beam hit Joker head-on and he went down in a heap. Goro took the opportunity to empty his gun into the shadow; he smiled pleasantly when the clock face cracked and it died in a drift of black dust.
As soon as the battle ended he rushed to Joker, who was sprawled in an ungainly heap on the floor.
"Are you ok?"
"I'm fine, just feeling a little weird."
He sounded weird as well, his voice higher and softer than usual. And was his hair suddenly longer? It was hard to tell with him slumped over like that, but his short locks seemed to have grown an inch or two.
Goro grabbed his hand and pulled him up, unspeakable fears of injury and ailment coming to a boil as Joker got to his feet. Or rather, her feet.
"Huh. That's new," she said, entirely too calm.
"Boobs," Skull supplied helpfully.
Boobs indeed. Joker's body was not wildly different (Goro had looked enough to know). She was still lean and lightly muscled, with unruly black hair and keen gray eyes. But the flatness of Kurusu's chest had become roundness, straining the fastenings on her vest, and lean hips had swelled into full curves. Her hair was slightly longer now, her features a shade more delicate.
"This is weird, but kind of cool," she said.
"How are you this relaxed?"
"Oh, weird shit happens in palaces all the time. I got turned into a mouse in Futaba's pyramid; being a girl is nothing."
To Goro's horror she reached up and grabbed hold of her new breasts, hefting and squeezing them curiously.
"Holy shit," Skull whispered.
Goro glanced over to find him practically drooling as Joker groped herself. Fox was in much the same state, framing the scene with his fingers and watching avidly.
"What are you doing?" Goro hissed, grabbing her wrists to pull her hands away from her chest.
Unfortunately, this last strain proved to be too much. Two top buttons tore away, leaving Goro mere inches from a suddenly generous vee of cleavage. Her nipples were hard, he noticed in shock. He could see them poking through the fabric.
"Whoa, Akechi, chill out. If you want to see them that bad, all you have to do is ask."
"I do not-" he began, but the idiots behind him drowned him out.
"I would like to view them too, for aesthetic purposes!"
"Yeah man, you gotta show us. That's like, bro code."
Joker tried to shrug off Goro's hold but he tightened his grip. Warning bells went off in his mind; this was not Nice Boy Detective behavior. But the idea of Kurusu topless was fogging up his brain, and he couldn't let her expose herself to the leering goons she called teammates. It didn't matter that they had likely all seen each other in the bathhouse before; this was different in ways he couldn't fully explain.
"You are not taking off your clothes in the middle of a palace," he hissed. "It isn't respectable!"
"And I'm always so respectable. That's very important for a Phantom Thief," she laughed. "You're right though, it's not a good idea."
His grip slackened and she pulled away.
"Let's go to a safe room, I can get all the way naked there."
She sprinted away up the corridor and he ran after her, brain blinking like malfunctioning Christmas lights. He swore he could hear Skull panting lustfully. Disgusting. It was hardly that erotic a view! True, the flowing coat by turns concealed and revealed a very tempting ass, but that had been the case even before Kurusu transformed.
The rest of the Phantom Thieves looked up in confusion as they raced back into the safe room they had only recently exited.
"Look at this," Kurusu said casually. She twirled so that her coat flared out around her.
"Joker?!" Mona exclaimed. "How did this happen?"
"What the hell?" Queen demanded.
Panther gave a girlish squeal and jumped up.
"Oh my god, you're so cute! I want to do your hair!"
She pulled Joker into a hug and Goro distinctly heard a third button pop. Or perhaps that was the sound of his sanity letting go as Panther pressed her ample chest against Joker's, causing a welling of flesh that a lucky man could drown in.
"Oracle, how long do you think this will last?" Joker asked as Panther pulled away. "I don't think I have time to get my hair done."
Oracle squeaked upon being addressed and Goro darted a look at Joker's chest. Ah yes, that had been another button.
"Uh, it could be either a few minutes or until you leave the area of influence? Like the mouse thing? I think," Oracle said nervously.
"So either way it has to be here. Okay, everybody who doesn't want to see me naked, head out."
"Excuse me?" Queen gasped.
For once Goro felt no need to mock her prudishness. That was the correct amount of disapproval. Perhaps even a little understated; Goro would have punctuated that sentence with a gun. But Joker didn't seem to understand. She shed her gloves nonchalantly and began taking her coat off.
"I have a limited amount of time as a girl and I want to try out a few things before I change back. Y'know, to see what's different. You'd do it if you became a guy, right?"
"...that does make a certain amount of sense," Noir said hesitantly. "Sensations are probably different based on, um, equipment."
Queen, beet red under her mask, wasn't so easy to convince.
"If you really must do that, shouldn't we all leave?"
"Nah, bro code. Gotta share with the guys."
"Bro code," Skull agreed fervently. "All about sharing."
"Yeah, I don't think that applies to growing boobs," Panther said. "As much as we'd all like to see you naked, you don't want your first time as a girl to be a strip show, I promise."
Goro had never fully appreciated her intelligence before. So what if she was an airhead half the time! She had common sense when it counted.
"You know," Panther continued, "if you really want to enjoy this, you should pick someone to help you out. Maybe somebody who already has a crush on you?"
"But it's just us here. I can't go out looking for somebody who likes me."
Panther cast Goro a meaningful look and he stared back, at a loss. She huffed and then spoke up brightly, as though having a wonderful idea.
"Hey, why don't you pick someone with experience, so they can make sure you have a good time? Ooo, Akechi, you're a celebrity. You've been with a lot of girls, right?"
No, he thought.
"Yes," he said.
"Perfect! We'll leave you to it." She began ushering the others out of the room.
"Why does he get to stay?" Skull protested, dragging his feet. "I wanna see-yeowch!"
Panther grabbed him by the ear and yanked him out into the hall. The doors slammed shut and they were alone.
"Are you actually on board with this? Ann can be a little pushy. You don't have to stay," Joker said, but then she unbuttoned the last few buttons on her vest and Goro lost track of what they were talking about.
Little pink buds topped her deliciously perky tits. Goro wanted to touch them, taste them, rub his face against them. He moved forward as though in a trance.
"Akechi? You ok?"
He shook his head, trying to jog some sense back into his brain. It didn't work but he managed a semblance of calm.
"I apologize, I was just thinking. You want to try out your chest first, I assume. I'll sit down and you can straddle me. That's probably the easiest way in the absence of a bed."
He sat down on one of the low couches and determinedly made eye contact. Joker shrugged and followed, dropping gingerly to hover over his knees.
"Is this- woah!"
He grabbed her ass and yanked her forward, patience shattered by proximity. He got his mouth on her the way he'd been aching to and she shuddered as he licked and sucked at her breasts.
"Ok, that's more sensitive than usual," she breathed while his tongue traced a nipple. "Normally they're kind of-mmm!-kind of fun to play with, but this is a whole other level."
The tiny part of Goro's brain that had been relegated to logical thought processes went up in a flash of smoke. He pictured Kurusu on that pathetic futon, naked and aroused, toying with his own nipples while his cock stood red and neglected.
If he was honest with himself, it was not the first time that particular image had occurred to him. It was simply the first time he'd thought about it while Kurusu, half-naked and female, writhed in his lap.
He had to draw back for a moment and bite her on the neck. His teeth pressed in hard enough to bruise. She gasped and squirmed, rubbing him through his clothes, and he muffled a whimper into her skin.
"We should take our pants off," she urged.
"I can't."
She rolled her hips and set up a provocative rhythm, rocking against him. He twitched up involuntarily to match her pace and they were grinding together. She was so warm in his lap, her skin so soft and her breathy little noises so tempting. He wanted to tear her pants off and watch her ride him. He wanted to take her against the wall while she begged him for more. He wanted her to scream his name so loudly all her worthless friends could hear.
"Stop that," he said to himself and her.
He tried to still her motions but only succeeded in pressing her more firmly against his erection, making them both gasp.
"Why? I thought you were going to help me."
"If I take my clothes off I'm going to fuck you," he growled, thrusting up for emphasis. "And we don't have a condom."
"Huh, that's true. Do we even need one though? I'm only a temporary girl."
"I don't know but we're not taking chances."
"I guess I'll just touch myself. This is fun but I'm not sure how long being a girl will last, so I better get to it."
Flushed and breathing heavily, she slid off his lap. He thought of her fingering herself, crying out in pleasure while he watched, unable to touch. Completely unacceptable.
"Sit on my face!"
"Huh?"
"Oral sex is surely a different experience based on gender," he said smoothly, already sliding off the couch to lie on the floor. "Sit on my face."
"Oh." Her eyes went wide. "Yeah, let's do that."
He resisted the urge to palm himself as she took her pants off. Instead, he had a mild panic attack. What the hell was he doing? He didn't know the first thing about sex! His most intimate encounter prior to this had been an overenthusiastic fan who tried to kiss him.
Kurusu was going to laugh at his clumsy attempts and go off to find someone who knew what they were doing. That smarmy artist had probably charmed at least one girl into bed; Kurusu might decide to pick him instead...
She knelt over him and Goro dived in at once. He was going to at least taste her before getting rejected, damnit! She cried out as he thrust his tongue inside, lapping at her desperately.
"Mmm, yeah, that's good," she said breathlessly. "Keep doing that."
She was so wet. He cursed his earlier responsibility; it could be his cock plunging into her now instead of his tongue. But then her thighs tensed and she arched over him, so obviously pleasure-stricken it erased all his regrets.
"Right there," she demanded. "Don't stop."
How could he deny anything that made her sound so frantic with pleasure? He redoubled his efforts, fucking her with his tongue, and she keened. Her thighs clamped tight around his head as he soldiered on, short of breath and half-suffocated by her arousal, but that only made it hotter.
She was losing all control. Her juices slid down his chin as he licked at her clit. He reveled in the way she came undone above him, grinding down on his face and moaning his name.
"Fuck, Akechi! That feels so good, harder, please," she begged. "I'm so close, please!"
He kept up a hard pace as she shook and gasped, only gentling his tongue when she slumped over, trembling with the aftershocks of her orgasm.
"Holy fuck that was amazing," Kurusu began, but halfway through the sentence her voice lost its girlish softness and returned to its usual depths. Goro abruptly found himself with a mouthful of cock and spluttered in surprise.
"Oh shit, sorry," Kurusu said, scrambling away to collapse gracelessly to the floor beside him. "I didn't mean to do that, I swear."
"I surmised as much," Goro said curtly. His tongue was tired; he hadn't previously known that was a muscle you could exhaust.
They lay quietly for a moment. Now that the excitement was over, Goro was increasingly aware that he was straining against his pants and desperate for release. Apparently Kurusu noticed as well.
"I can get you off, if you want? You can close your eyes and pretend I'm still a girl."
"That won't be necessary."
"Oh. Sorry, just let me get dressed and we can head out."
"I meant it won't be necessary to envision you as female. Surely you're aware that you're attractive, regardless of sex."
Goro wouldn't have spoken so openly under any other circumstances, but it worked. Kurusu beamed and leaned over to kiss him. He licked into Goro's mouth, then withdrew in surprise.
"You taste like...well, me, I guess."
"Sorry."
Kurusu licked his lips, considering.
"Don't be sorry," he decided. "It's kind of hot."
He stole another kiss, then slid down the length of Goro's body to nuzzle his cock. Goro let out a deeply embarrassing whine and Kurusu smiled.
"We should try oral sex on you, too. To help compare."
"I don't think that's-" Goro began, but he cut off as Kurusu ripped open his pants and swallowed his cock. Kurusu hummed questioningly around his mouthful and started to pull off, but Goro shoved him back down.
"Never mind," he groaned. "Keep going, you're right, this is fine."
Sae was not fine.
"Why is it necessary for me to hear this?" she asked, hands pressed to her temples.
"This was an extremely vital part of my Phantom Thief activities, giving me tactical insight into the masculine and feminine mindset," Akira said. "Now hush, I'm not finished. Akechi came by to 'check on me' the next day and-"
She groaned and slumped to the table.