Chapter Text
“You don't know the first thing about pain, but I do. I can show you. Make you feel what I feel.”
With barely restrained pain in her voice, Kara says, “I won't fight you, Lena.”
“Then you'll die screaming.”
The blonde prepares for impact.
“Found it!” Mxy says in triumph. They transport back to Kara’s loft.
The blonde is just rooted to the spot.
It is like that “Oh, that’s what it was” moment. The only piece missing to make sense of the puzzle.
She remembers the looks and the a-bit-too-long-to-still-be-considered-friendly hugs. She also remembers the inexplicable jealousy when seeing her with someone else, the desire to defend her regardless of the evidence against her, and the fury she felt listening to Lex dissing her, knowing all the pain that he had caused her.
All those feelings have a name: love. And there is no way to ignore them or deny them anymore. She is completely and irrevocably in love with Lena Luthor.
"Okay. So, it ain't over ‘till it's over." Mxy interrupts her train of thought
"Now, we have gotta find a time for you to go back and tell Lena the truth..." He realizes the blonde is not paying attention to him. "Kara?" He asks to break her out of her stuppor, but she is still unmovable and mute.
“Kara?” he repeats. “Are you ready for one more go and fix your relationship with ya BFF?”
Finally, the blonde snaps out of her trance.
“No!” she shouts, “I mean yes.” calmer this time.
“Of course I want to fix things and get my best friend back," she stammers. "I just... Mxy, I couldn’t fight her. I couldn’t harm her." She sits on the couch, looking dejected.
“It made me think of something Kal said to me a long time ago.” With a faraway sad look, she continued, “When I had to send Mon-El away, he said that if it were between Lois and the world, he didn’t know if he could’ve done it…” Her voice trembled, and she cut her speech short, putting her hands to her face.
“At that time, with him, I didn’t hesitate; I filled the atmosphere with the equivalent of poison for him and sent him to an unknown fate, but this time? This time, I didn’t even put up a fight. I couldn’t do it.”
Mxy kneels in front of Kara with understanding in his voice. “I thought the Girl of Steel didn’t bend, break, or stand down for anyone.”
The superhero stands up, pacing the floor, reflecting on Lena Luthor's unique presence. She’s a beacon of light amidst the darkness of the Luthor legacy, consistently achieving good despite enduring countless trials. Even when the world labeled her as 'just another Luthor,' she perseveres daily in her pursuit of goodness. Lena Luthor embodies righteousness and courage; beneath her armor, she has a surprising sense of humor.
She looks up at Mxy with moisture in her eyes. “I think that’s why I’ve been so hung up on her being mad at me. She’s always been more.” A realization dawns on her. “I can’t snap our problems away. Even if she hates me, she deserves the truth—the whole truth.”
“Finally!” The imp’s excitement is palpable. “I was wondering how many of these alternate realities we’d have to go through for you to figure it out,” he says, laughing nervously.
“Kara Zor-El, I hope everything works out as you expect. And if it doesn’t, we can always reshape the universe.”
“I hope that was a joke, Mr. Mxyzptlk. But thank you sincerely. You’ve helped me more than you know.” She hands him the tape recorder. “Here. You are freed from my burden of guilt, so... Go, be free! Use your magic to do whatever it is you do.”
“Thank you. Um... And I should say, uh...” He hesitates, searching for the right words; he’s never been this honest before. “Before I met you, I was, um, pretty lonely. You know, and in that pain, I would tend to sort of force myself on people. But out there with you today, saving the world, I felt liked for just being me. I felt like I had friends.” He says, tearing up.
“And, uh, it's true what you said, Kara; magic can't be forced, it has to be found.”
“You are my friend, Mxy. And I'm proud of you.” Kara is genuinely proud, never expecting her interdimensional stalker to be capable of change.
“Thanks for everything.”
“You’re welcome. Now if you'll excuse me,” He composes himself after the sentimental moment. “I’m off to reality grass in the ‘80s,” a pause. “The 1780s.” He chuckles softly and disappears.
Once he disappears, Kara starts hyperventilating, feeling restless. Her breath becomes shallow, palms sweating, as shocks seem to seep through her. Is she truly in love with her best friend, or is it just the yearning to have Lena by her side again?
Then memories flooded back. She recalls flying to Dublin, Paris, and Milan to gather Lena's favorite foods. She remembers tirelessly striving for Lena’s kindness and support to be acknowledged. There was that one time she flew in her civilian clothes, desperate to save Lena’s life without delay. She felt utterly helpless when Lena suspected herself of endangering children with poisoned substances, willing to sacrifice the city and drop the chemicals just to ensure Lena’s safety. She still tingles inside at the memory of Lena calling her "hero."
There's that awkward look they shared after Sam asked if Kara was single. And how she pleaded with Reign to spare Lena’s life and take hers instead.
“Well, now it makes sense why I never liked Jack in the first place.” She spoke to no one in particular.
But maybe it was one-sided. No, it can’t be. Kara remembers poorly disguised Mon-El-related jealousy, the sweet looks, the smile that seemed reserved only for her, or how Lena let herself be coerced into whatever ridiculous adventure Kara had planned for the two of them. How she never judged for every bad decision she made and how she was in the aftermath of it all.
When she complained that CatCo was on the run from Edge and Lena bought it for her under the guise of a "good business decision," her office was overflowing with flowers as a thank you for her article.
Thus, she finds herself at a crossroads.
On one side, there’s the hopeful and dreamer Kara Danvers, who wants to go out flying to Lena, sit her down, and not let her get back up until they solve their way-too-long ridiculous feud.
And then, there’s the insecure out-of-suit part of her—the average Kara Danvers—that tells her she’s only opening herself to more rejection; haven’t these past months been enough suffering? She’s tried it all, and the result seems to be the same: Lena Luthor shutting the (figurative) door in her face.
“Why did I have to realize it now?” She’s whining like a five-year-old who didn’t get their way, but she doesn’t care. She’s still reeling from the anxiety her discovery caused.
“If I'd known these feelings before, I would’ve told her in a beat, without thinking twice about it, but now that she hates me,? I’m not sure it will be well received,” she paces like a mad woman “But at the same time, if I tell her now and she feels the same, we can start mending this relationship. Right?” she ends her ramble, “and now I’m talking to myself, great.”
In the end, what is the use of being the paragon of hope if, at the most terrifying moment of your adult life, you decide to ditch said hope? So, making a decision, she puts on the suit and decides to fly to Lena Luthor’s penthouse.
In full Supergirl regalia, she hovers at Lena’s balcony, still hesitant about sharing her feelings, but once she catches a glimpse of Lena, every thought and feeling that she’s been having in the past hour falls into place. She will tell her tonight, no matter the outcome, she’s done lying and hiding.
Even though the brunette is making a cup of tea and her back is turned, Kara can tell the exact moment she becomes aware of her presence; her heartbeat increases its tempo, she tenses up while taking a deep breath to steady herself, and she turns around, stance ready to pick a fight. She walks to the balcony while the superhero lands, mustering all of her confidence and locking her sight with the CEO.
“Let me guess. You're here to tell me once again that I should forgive you.” She says in a mocking tone, “Or maybe tell me again that I shouldn't work with my brother?”
“Not this time,” she says, starting with all the honesty she can gather in her voice. “I recognize I made a mistake in hiding my identity from you for so long, but the past is the past, and I can't change it. Believe me, I tried."
She laughs a humorless laugh and takes a deep breath.
“Forgive me or not; that's your choice, but please believe me, Lena,” she pleads. “I was always Kara when we were together. Maybe that’s why it took me so long to tell you the truth; I wanted you for myself just one more day. And that day became a week, and the weeks, years, and here we are, but I never tried to make a fool out of you.”
“And I guess I’m just supposed to take your word for it?” The brunette asks with an incredulous look on her face.
“I think you know deep down that our friendship was real. It still can be.” The last part is barely a whisper.
If Lena wasn’t so accustomed to everything Kara Danvers/Supergirl said, she would’ve missed the last words spoken.
“This friendship is broken, Supergirl,” she said coldly. “How am I supposed to trust you again?”
Awkward silence follows. And as the powerful CEO’s face crumbles, she remembers that the damage done was from both sides, as hard as it is for her to admit when she’s mistaken. And just like that, her walls are no longer up; she’s so tired of this game of power, which honestly is just going inside the young Luthor’s mind. Kara’s never been one to play mind games, and Lena knows it, but she was heartbroken and did what she does best: retreat into herself and shut the world out. So she decides to leave the hard feelings aside. Just for a moment.
“Are you supposed to trust me?” Lena continues in a broken whisper.
The question and Lena's abrupt mood change catch Kara off guard.
“Why wouldn’t I?” Kara replies with a look of pure, innocent surprise on her face.
“I used kryptonite on you and stole from you,” she continues to whisper with a desperate tone, like it will make it hurt any less.
This rollercoaster of emotions since awakening on this new earth is draining. Lena needs to sit down. The regret Kara hears after the last sentence is enough to give her the courage to step inside the house and kneel in front of the brunette.
The person having this discussion with Supergirl in the middle of the night is not Lena Luthor, co-CEO of Luthorcorp; this is Lena, just Lena. Kara’s Lena. The one that’s been missing for quite some time. The emotion of seeing her old best friend, even if she’s mad at her, makes her feel nostalgic, and the superhero thinks she might burst into tears right there and then.
“Lena, I’ve already forgiven you, and as I said, it’s your choice to do the same.” It’s not said with a malicious tone; on the contrary, it’s almost sweet. “But,” she hesitates, “I just want you to know the whole truth.”
“Is there anything else?” Her voice is starting to harden again. ”What more secrets could you possibly have, Supergirl? Was there a lick of truth in our friendship?”
“Lena, I just told you!” Honestly, if the CEO’s stubbornness wasn’t one of the traits that the blonde loves, she’d be infuriated at the thought of not getting it through her head. “Everything about our time together was real. You got to know the real me, and... I want to share this last part with you.” She steels herself with a deep breath. “I guess it’s not really a secret if I wasn’t aware at the time, but here is the thing,” she hesitates.
“Oh, just spit it out, Supergirl.” Lena can’t believe there’s yet another thing she’s been made a fool of. She’s disturbed, and she just wants this talk to end. “So, we can both go back to our lives and...”
“I love you.” Kara interrupts her. With the purest look she’s ever had in her life, she says, “I’m in love with you.” Kara feels like the world stopped spinning with that sentence, and in this moment it is just the two of them; the clock doesn’t seem to keep ticking, but the words are out, just like that. Four years of pent-up feelings are now in the open.
Lena gets shocked into silence, very similar to the Pulitzer Award party back on earth 38, when her best friend decided to tell her she was Supergirl minutes before Lena was about to out her to the world.
“I think I’ve always been, since that first day when Clark and I interviewed you. I remember seeing your face and being impressed that this powerful CEO was addressing me, ME, while next to this award-winning journalist. I was stunned by you, you know? Here is a woman who is looking for the same things as I am. Probably that’s why I fought so hard to earn your friendship and why I always stood up for you, no matter what the evidence said.”
Lena is sitting stunned into silence, ghosts of tears in her eyes, looking directly into the hero’s eyes while Kara continues to spill the truth, still kneeled in front of the brunette.
“To be fair, I only realized this today after Mxy showed up and gave me this scrooge-like tour of different realities.”
Lena doesn’t even have time to unscramble anything in that sentence, but the blonde keeps on rambling.
“... and Lena.“ Kara has to get up to fight the impulse of holding her best friend’s hand and continues
“In one of them, we were enemies—real enemies. You were so set on killing me, and I just stood there. I let you hurt me, because even if it wasn’t you, I couldn’t stand to see someone with your face get hurt. especially if it was me doing the hurting, you know? And now that I’m aware of what it all means,. What you mean to me, I had to tell you. Even if it’s not reciprocated. You had to know the full story. It doesn’t matter if you still hate me, and it changes nothing.”
She stands there, giving Lena a minute to absorb all of the information. It feels like an eternity has passed and they still haven’t moved, so Kara feels her Supergirl bravado leaving her and decides to leave.
Lena is still sitting with glassed eyes, like she’s not even paying attention after yet another big reveal that has rendered her speechless.
“I know it’s too much to take in. And you don’t owe me anything, obviously. I just wanted you to know. I’m not playing a trick here. That was the last truth I had within me. My door will always be open for you, Lee.”
And with that, she retreats to the balcony, and just as she is about to take flight, she feels Lena’s slender fingers around her wrist.
“I don’t hate you, Kara.” small voice slowly finding its way back into the CEO, walls crumbling once more, as they always do, around her.
“I’ve tried, “she laughs, a pitiful laugh at herself. “I’ve really tried. At the beginning, I was hurt and confused, but I could never hate you. No matter how hard I tried,”
Kara is staring at her, slowly turning herself to face the brunette. Lena’s hand is still around her wrist.
“Then why?” she asks, confused “Why not come to me, Lee?”
With a humorless laugh, Lena exclaims, “I am a Luthor, Kara. Don’t you get it? It was always meant to end like this. A “Super and a Luthor,” she scoffs at the ridiculous rivalry her family inherited to her “cannot be on the same side, which I let myself believe. And now here you are telling me this thing I’ve always dreamt of hearing.” Lena’s incredulous. She has never dared to imagine this scenario.
“What do you mean?” The young Luthor turns her back on Kara, releasing her grip, but this time it’s the blonde’s chance to grab her by the wrist gently. And in the same tone as not spook her, she almost pleads
“Lena? Please tell me.”
"Kara, I could’ve never dreamt that you’d return my feelings.” Tears started spilling down her pale face.
“I spent countless nights convincing myself that those looks and the longer than friendly hugs were just you being... well, you.”
“And now here you are telling me all of this? For what? ... Hmm?” She’s worn out. “It’s too late now.”
She’s always been used to locking her emotions in little, imaginary boxes, but here is Kara deciding that she’s going to rip them open all at once, and, seriously, Lena cannot take the experience of feeling too much all at once.
She decides to walk to the far end of the balcony and hold on to the railing as to dear life, like if she lets go, the floor will disappear from underneath her and she will fall to her demise.
Supergirl walks to stand behind her, her heart hammering in her chest. They haven’t been this close in months, and her arms are urging her to hug her, sensing the distress in the brunette. But never one to ignore people’s consent, she stays put. She’s already pushing her luck with this little distance between them.
“Lena, look at me, please.” Her voice is calm and soothing. Full of hope, “It’s never too late.”
Eyes cast down Lena turns slowly, but the blonde lowers her head to meet Lena’s eyes. There is something in the look shared; its intensity is almost palpable, and that’s the last draw that makes Lena make up her mind. She cannot hold it in any longer; everything she’s ever wanted is being handed to her. So, in the end, it’s no brainer; she raises on her tip toes and kisses the hero firmly, which caught the superhero off guard, but within seconds she recovers and slips the hand on her chin to the nape of her neck, and the other hand wraps around Lena’s waist.
In movies and romance novels, they always describe kissing the person you love as a thrilling moment full of fireworks, music, and realization.
There’s none of that, just silence, not in a bad way; it’s almost familiar, like coming home. The feeling of their lips connected, like they were born to be intimate in this way, and all of the previous partners were almost a test trial. It’s all they didn’t know they wanted, but they needed. Like they are putting all of these past months of dispute in the kiss: the desperation they’ve felt, the sadness, anger, and hopelessness without each other.
They feel like it could go on forever and they would never tire.
Then, all at once, that desperation starts building up, turning it into a more heated kiss instead of the romantic and soft one they had going on. Hands start wandering, bodies pressing more tightly, and breaths mingling. Kara presses Lena to the railing of the balcony and carries her by the legs; meanwhile, the brunette feels all of her blood rush south and starts to cave into the feeling. Just as the businesswoman is about to wrap her legs around the superhero’s waist, a loud sound interrupts them, and they break apart—Kara still carrying Lena— just in time to watch an unidentified object enter the atmosphere, lighting in fiery red National City’s sky, then a big explosion that rattles a little the balcony they’re standing on.