Work Text:
The bed was lumpy. You lay awake in the old farmhouse, listening to the soft chirping of the crickets outside. Probably inside too, considering the number of cracks in the exterior. It was a particularly hot and sticky summer night, and the fan blowing in from the window did little to stifle the oppressive heat. Your blankets had long been abandoned, but it was still impossible to get comfortable enough to sleep. You had moved to Pelican Town a couple seasons ago, and although the locals had warned you about the sweltering summers, you were unable to believe it until the first hot night of the year. The townspeople were nice, and you had already made a few good friends there. You spent your days foraging with Linus, woodworking with Robin, writing music with Sam, and hopelessly pining over painting landscapes with Leah.
When you decided to move to Stardew Valley, you had had a wild fantasy of meeting the love of your life there. You would become friends, fall in love, and settle down with a perfect life. But you had never been great at guessing people’s sexualities, and you couldn’t get a read on any of the women in town. Not even the cute, kind, creative sculptor who lives in a cabin and forages for her food. Admittedly, your friends teased you in college for thinking that every girl that was flirting with you was “just being nice”, but the reality was that it was just easier to assume that every gorgeous woman you came across was straight. That way, you didn’t get your hopes up only to be let down. It did get lonely in the farmhouse, though, even with your cat cuddling up to you in the middle of the night (although tonight, she had been banished to the floor – you couldn’t stand any more heat). You were saving up enough money and wood to upgrade the farmhouse, but you didn’t know if you could even go through with it. A bigger house would just be more empty space. Maybe you could commission Leah for some art to fill it up.
On second thought, you didn’t know if you could stand to be reminded of her everywhere you looked. She had entranced you from the moment you met her. Everything about her was beautiful. Her eyes that were so dark blue they appeared purple, her red hair that looked like fire in the sun, her light, tinkling laugh, the way she cared for animals, the focused look she got with her tongue between her teeth when she was working on a sculpture. All of it added up to the most captivating, enchanting person you had ever met. You had convinced her to do an art show in town, and you couldn’t wait to see everything she had been working on. Despite your begging, she always refused to show most of her works in progress. Even so, you loved to sit on her floor and watch her sculpt the wooden shapes she was partial to. She was a perfectionist in the way that she always turned her mistakes into something even more beautiful. “Happy little accidents” as Bob Ross would call them, but they didn’t feel like accidents. Even when she accidentally chipped a piece of wood away that she didn’t mean to, or made a wrong brush stroke on a painting, it always ended up looking even more incredible than before, as if the art was destined to look this way.
This morning, you had brought her goat cheese that you made in your cheese press. It probably wasn’t wise to give her your very first one, but after she offhandedly mentioned it was her favorite, you couldn’t wait to surprise her. Despite yourself, despite the fact that you almost certainly had no chance with her, you still just wanted to make her happy. You think it worked, because when you revealed the gift, she looked delighted and insisted you try it together immediately. You cheers-ed with the crackers she had brought out (some tasty salty ones with nuts and seeds in them, and it was so on brand for her that you almost had to laugh), and the bright tanginess exploded on your tongue. You and Leah agreed it wasn’t the best cheese ever, but it was certainly a start.
You thought about what to do in order to make the best goat cheese Leah had ever had, and then you chided yourself for that. “A friend doesn’t go to great lengths and waste money just to make some better goat cheese for a friend, ” you told yourself. You had to be realistic. You didn’t think you could stand not talking to her every day, but you set a rule. No more than two gifts a week. You didn’t think you could forgive yourself if you scared her off.
You rolled over in your bed and reached your hand down to pet Miso. You heard the special “mrow” she makes when she wakes up, and you patted your bed.
“Come on up, girl,” you said hoarsely. You realized you hadn’t spoken to anyone since Leah earlier, and your throat was dry and scratchy. Miso pounced up onto the twin bed, her little bell jangling. She settled into your chest and fell back asleep almost instantly. The heat was unbearable, but Miso had a way of calming your nervous system. You focused on breathing in the smell of mud from outside, and eventually, finally, fell asleep.
You awoke as always with the rooster crow, and checked your watch that was sitting on your bedside table. 6:00 am. Damn that bird was punctual. You always set your alarm for 8:00 in the hopes that you would be able to sleep in, but that stupid rooster always woke you up before your watch had a chance to. As you got dressed, you realized with a start that you had never even seen this rooster. You pondered this as you pulled on your boots. Oh well. A mystery to solve another day.
After watering all your crops and feeding all your animals, you headed south. You had fed Griba the blue grass she loved in hopes of better milk tomorrow to make better cheese, and chastised yourself for doing exactly what you said you wouldn’t. You trotted around Cindersap forest, chopping down some particularly gnarly trees and picking some sweet peas. You loved your aimless walks in the forest, even beyond the chance of running into Leah. These morning walks were almost meditative, and it was the only time you felt yourself able to think about nothing at all. You fished a bit, harvested some fiber, and broke open some rocks. By the time 10:00 am rolled around, you were drenched in sweat. The heat had increased drastically since you woke up, and you needed a respite. Your feet found their way to Leah’s door, and you were in such a heat induced tizzy that you opened it without knocking, and immediately realized your error.
“...many times do I have to tell you? I don’t want to come back to the city!”
Your heart sank, your cheeks flushed, and you froze. You knew you shouldn’t be there, but something was sticking your feet into the ground, preventing you from leaving.
“Stop calling me. I don’t want to hear from you anymore.” Leah slammed the phone on the receiver. She was more upset than you’d ever seen her, cheeks red and wisps of hair flying in all directions. You walked over to her. It was embarrassing to have accidentally eavesdropped, but you would feel worse if she didn’t know. She jumped, startled to see you. “So I guess you heard me yelling on the phone?”
“Yeah, I’m so sorry Leah, I really didn’t mean to-”
She waved you off. “It’s fine. I know it was an accident.” She opened her mouth as if to say more, and then sighed. There was a long pause. “That was my ex…”
Your stomach was in knots, and you suddenly found your bootlaces extremely fascinating to look at. “Oh I’m so sorry, I mean, you don’t have to explain if you don’t want to, I mean, I - I’m here for you if you need.” You were usually so sure of your words, but now you stumbled, and felt as if your mouth was made of cotton.
“No, I want to tell you.”
You looked up. “Okay.”
She told you about her life in the city. About how she and her ex had been together since they were young, how they had an apartment together. You imagined what her city life might have looked like, how she might have decorated her apartment. You couldn’t imagine her in Zuzu. The Valley brought out the life in her. She didn’t fit anywhere else.
“She was always nagging me to go back to school and study business or medicine…something with a lot of money in it.”
Your ears perked up. She? She ?! Your mind was racing, but you stayed silent. It wasn’t the time. You listened intently as Leah told you about how she left Kel, left a life that could have been, but wouldn’t have been right. “Was that selfish of me?” she asked.
You looked into her eyes, and for once their piercing blue didn’t make you melt. You spoke with sincerity and simplicity when you replied “No. It had to be done.”
You smiled at her and she smiled back, and in that moment your heart soared. You chatted a bit about her upcoming art show, and when you left, you were considerably more confused than when you arrived. So Leah was gay. Or bi. You didn’t really care. She liked girls, and your head spun with the knowledge.
“But that doesn’t mean she likes me ,” you whispered to Miso that night. Your daily ritual of spilling all your secrets to your cat started as a joke, but you had started to look forward to it. It was cathartic, almost like a diary. You groaned and rolled over. You glanced at the calendar bathed in moonlight on your wall. Your melons were due to be ripe tomorrow. Maybe the work would take your mind off Leah.
The work did not take your mind off Leah. It was a busy week, but you always managed to find her in her cabin or at the beach or in the saloon for a quick chat or trading of forageables you had found. You didn’t bring up the phone incident, and neither did she, but something had settled between you two that hadn’t been there before. Acknowledgement? Awkwardness? Tension? What kind of tension? You couldn’t tell.
As the Saturday afternoon started to give way to evening, you lay on the grass of Sam’s backyard. You vented to him as he plucked a folksy tune on his guitar, the music getting carried away by the breeze. You ranted about your four failed goat cheeses that week that came out of the press smelling more rank than the pig crap in the summer heat. This morning you had finally made one worthy of gifting to Leah, but the unsuccessful attempts still stung. “I spent hours on this, Sam. All for a girl who doesn’t even like me like that. What the hell am I doing?”
“How do you know she doesn’t? No offense, but you wouldn’t know flirting if it kissed you in the face,” he teased. You groaned.
“So I’ve been told…But you really think she’s flirting?”
Sam laughed and set his guitar down, moving to sit down next to you. “Look. I don’t claim to be an expert here.” He said, looking down at your face. “But any idiot can see that there’s something special between you two. Even me.” He stood back up and extended a hand. “Now come on, let’s see which idiot can do the most kickflips in a row.”
“Can’t, buddy. I have dinner plans.”
“Oh, with who?”
You stayed silent. If you told him they were with Leah, he would be sure to say that it’s a date. And it wasn’t a date. Not that you didn’t want it to be, but things were complicated, and you didn’t want to put pressure on whatever “it” was between you. For all you knew, Leah had sworn off dating forever after Kel.
“Your hesitation tells me everything I need to know…” Sam teased, kicking your shoe with his toe.
You threw a stick at him, but smiled.
You and Leah sat at her small dining table, eating your arugula and apple salads and fresh poppyseed muffins. The conversation was light and easy as it always was with Leah. Topics flowed easily – you talked about her art, why you both left the city, the moonlight jellies that would be arriving soon, the magic of the Valley, the old community center you had been working on fixing up. Time flew whenever you were with her, and soon salads were finished and muffin crumbs were cleaned. When she had finished washing the plates of salad dressing (despite your insistence that the guest should do the dishes), Leah brought out a bottle of wine.
“I bought it from the traveling merchant!” She said, pulling out the wine glasses. “I can’t promise it’s good…it doesn’t even say what fruit it’s made of…but let’s try it!”
You laughed and instinctively felt the carefully wrapped goat cheese in your pocket. You had wrapped it in grape leaves and tied it prettily with a piece of golden string. Sam had made you bring it “just in case”, but you hadn’t planned on giving it to her tonight. That is, until your hand was pulling it out of your pocket and you were saying “Hey, by the way, I brought you something!”
“You’re kidding, you made this? It’s beautiful. Thank you.” She looked you in the eyes when she said this, and you imagined you could dive into the deep blue if you stared long enough. Electricity zapped in the space between you, and for the first time, you felt like she might feel it too. But she broke away, turning around to get the same salty crackers from the pantry. You blinked at the sudden change, staring at the orange braid falling down her back.
“C’mon,” she said, arms full of wine, cheese, and crackers. “Let’s have a picnic.”
You sat by the river, just outside her cabin.
“Y’know,” Leah said, sipping the (surprisingly tasty) wine straight from the bottle, which was now half empty. The glasses had been forgotten inside, and neither of you wanted to stand up to go get them. “I never really felt like someone saw me for me until I met you. You supported my art when no one else did.” Leah paused thoughtfully. “And I guess I just wanted to tell you that I can’t thank you enough for it.”
“It was easy. Your art is worth it. You’re worth it.” You said, flushing. You couldn't believe you were being so direct, but the wine gave you courage and a faint fuzzy feeling, and you couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of your mouth.
“Thank you.” Leah said, glowing. It was past sunset, the last shreds of light disappearing over the forest, but to you, she was lighting up the entire Valley. “That really means a lot to me. I mean it.”
She laid down on the soft grass, loose strands of hair falling on her face. You lay down next to her, your right arm just barely grazing her left. How on earth was it that just the slightest brush of her skin against yours could make you feel so…alive? A comfortable silence fell between you as you watched the darkness of the night slowly creep across the sky. Minutes passed, and you were letting your eyes fall closed to the sound of the crickets when Leah’s voice interrupted your dozing.
“Have you ever been in love?”
Your eyes flung open. The question was abrupt, and your heart started beating so fast and loud that you were sure even Marnie could hear it in her house, let alone Leah right next to you. You swallowed heavily, as if you could push down the sound of your heartbeat. You took a deep breath. She opened up to you about Kel, so you could open up too.
“Not yet,” you said, finding it easier to talk candidly when you weren’t looking at her. “It’s hard. It took me a while to figure out my sexuality, y’know? And by that point I felt like I had already fallen behind. Like it was too late for me to get started. And I guess ever since then I’ve just been too scared to take the jump.”
You heard a rustle to your right, and you thought she must have been nodding.
“I get that. I think it’s part of why I stayed with Kel for so long. The idea of starting over was paralyzing. I mean, I moved to the Valley for a lot of reasons, but I always kind of hoped in the back of my mind that I’d meet someone who’d sweep me off my feet.”
You could barely hear Leah over the coursing of blood in your ears. It was now or never. Your hand slowly crawled closer to Leah’s. Your pinky found hers, and when she didn’t move her hand away, it gave you the confidence to interlace your fingers. You felt tingling and giddiness and heat coursing from your fingertips to your head and through your body, and you used your left hand to pinch your thigh. Nope, not a dream.
“Oh?” You said, unable to keep a stupid, wide, smile off your face. You felt intoxicated, but not by the wine. By Leah. “Can you tell me more about this mystery person?”
You shifted your body so that your head turned to face hers, and you were surprised to find that she was already looking at you. God, she was beautiful. From this close, you could count her freckles. You made a mental note to ask if you could try and do that one day.
“Well,” Leah said softly, her deep blue eyes holding steadily with yours. In this lighting, they looked almost an inky black. “She’d be pretty, and kind, and strong, and maybe she would be a farmer who makes me goat cheese and –”
Her speech stopped as you laid your unoccupied hand on her cheek, stroking it gently with your thumb.
“Leah, I –” you started, but nothing came out. She really had a way of making you lose your words. But you didn’t need to worry about words, because suddenly her lips were on yours, and you didn’t know who leaned in first, but you were kissing, and the night was warm, and she was warm, and your heart felt warm, and it had never felt like that before.
When the kiss broke, you had moved from sitting side by side to a tangled mess of limbs, and you swore you could feel every single cell of your body where her skin met yours.
Your eyes met hers again, and you both smiled, and almost instantly you were both laughing, because the buildup of months of holding in your feelings had to burst out somehow. As you laughed, Leah repositioned herself so that her head was on your chest. You instinctively wrapped your arm around her, and it felt like the most natural thing in the world, and you wondered why on earth you hadn’t been doing this the whole time.
“Do you know how long,” Leah whispered softly after the giggling died down. “I have been waiting for you to take a hint?”
You hummed, your hand stroking her hair, which still shone brightly red even in the dim twilight. “Probably about as long as I’ve been trying to make a decent goat cheese for you. Full disclosure, I bought a goat just for it. Put me back four thousand gold.”
Leah lifted her head to look at your face. Perhaps she was trying to tell if you were joking, but you weren’t. “No, you didn’t,” she laughed. “Four thousand?” She shook her head. “I can’t believe you’d do that for me. I just –” she cut herself off mid-sentence and sighed, resting her head back on your shoulder. “I’ve never felt so special before.”
“Well,” you said, tenderly kissing her head. “You are special.”
And she was.