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General Hux learned long ago that command of a Resurgent-class Star Destroyer like the Finalizer being astoundingly stressful was the common opinion among his high-ranking peers. Someone always needs something from you, or a crucial bit of machinery becomes damaged, or the insufferable Force-wielding brat you've been saddled with gets into a snit and demolishes half a floor.
Though that last part, few were capable of understanding.
And so, whenever he felt the weight of the world crushing him into a pulp, Hux would remove himself from the situation through his own form of divine meditation: mathematics.
He'd always had a head for numbers, but his father pushed him more towards strategy and leadership as a child and before long, he was a respected general with a loyal army, a mighty ship, a weapon that could shatter worlds, and a throbbing pain in his side that was surely an ulcer in the making. It was Phasma who had, unknowingly, given him the idea for his escape.
Few knew what the mighty captain looked like beneath her armor, and if it weren't for her height, she could easily vanish into a crowd without it. Which she routinely did anyway. Phasma enjoyed her liquor, and the chance to cut loose without kill orders, so whenever she was given leave, she often found her way to bars, the seedier the better. She was never recognized as a member of the First Order, let alone an officer
Hux craved that.
In the end, it was surprisingly easy for him to go unrecognized. Add some wash-out brown hair dye, square glasses, an ill-fitting suit, and allow his facial hair to grow in a bit, and it was like he was a new man. In fact, he was a new man; Bryan, from accounting.
Bryan from accounting kept the Finalizer's books balanced. Bryan from accounting was quiet, and kept to himself. Bryan from accounting had a small office on one of the lower decks where he was never to be disturbed, lest he carry the wrong number and throw the finances of the entire ship into disarray.
For the most part, no one noticed Bryan from accounting. He never made a spectacle of himself. There were no nasty rumors flying around about him, nor any particularly interesting confirmed facts. He made an appearance every so often to hand-deliver a datadrive full of budget inconsistencies to General Hux's office, swung by the lower mess for a sandwich, and went straight back to work. He was a reliable, if sort of boring, member of the crew.
And then one day, as he was walking down the hall, Bryan from accounting ran directly into Matt, the radar technician.
Hux blinked up at the taller worker, glasses askew. He'd been concentrating too intently on the information in his datapad, used to the corridor his office sat in being empty, when the other man loomed out of seemingly nowhere, his obnoxious vest leaving an imprint on Hux's nose.
"You should watch where you're going." Hux blurted out, forgetting himself for a moment. The worker's eyes narrowed behind his own glasses, glancing around. Then he grit his teeth, and stooped to pick up Hux's dropped datapad.
"I could say the same for you. This is a busy ship, you probably shouldn't walk and..." He glanced down, to see what Hux had been so focused on. "Math. You work in finance?" He looked genuinely curious as he handed back the pad, so once Hux had it back in his possession, he stuck out his hand.
"Yes. I'm Bryan, from accounting." A flicker of recognition passed over the other man's face, and Hux swallowed. Then he smiled, or made an expression that looked like it was supposed to be a smile, and shook his hand.
"I'm Matt. I'm a radar technician."
That was all he said, blinking owlishly down at Hux. It was an unusually familiar feeling, though he wasn't sure from where. After a minute, Hux realized that their hands were still locked together, and he casually tugged his away.
"Right then, I'll be in my office. Have a good day." As he brushed past Matt, their shoulders accidentally touched, and Hux heard the other man inhale sharply.
What an odd fellow.
*
The next day, Hux misjudged the lunch rush and found himself in the very crowded trooper's mess, wedged between a member of Phasma's unit and Matt the radar technician at a crowded table. The mood at the table was tense, because Matt simply would not stop talking about Kylo Ren.
"What do you think of him, Bryan?"
Hux froze midway through his bite of sandwich. Oh, he certainly thought things about Kylo Ren. He was an arrogant, childish, troublesome little punk that had the absolute nerve to think himself the general's equal, if only because Snoke assured him that he was. But of course, these were all Hux's opinions.
He chewed, swallowed, and took a sip of water. "I've never met him," Hux said honestly because, as Bryan, he hadn't. "Though I understand that the fuse on his temper is as short as he is tall. I don't think we would get along."
Matt's face seemed to cloud over, as if he was personally offended by the statement. "He seems like a great guy, to me. He probably just gets stressed a lot."
"I have a high-stress job, yet I've never destroyed anything because of it." Hux pointed out. He belatedly noticed that everyone else had left their table, so there was no longer any reason for them to be sitting together so closely. Naturally, he scooted away slightly. "And you! You run the risk of electrocution, even dismemberment if a panel slams closed. Have you ever thrown a tantrum and wrecked a room because of it?"
Matt blinked at him, eyeing the new gap between them. "No. I don't have that kind of power." He deliberately moved closer to Hux, so their shoulders were touching again. "But if I did, I'd probably use it."
Hux wasn't sure what it was about Matt's tone that caused a shiver to run up his spine, but it wasn't something he felt like experiencing again.
"Right, good talk. Lots of work to do, best be off."
He was in such a hurry to get away, he barely noticed that he'd left his datapad sitting at the lunch table, until one of Matt's large hands was closing around his upper arm, the pad in his other hand. Hux tensed beneath his overly large jacket, and Matt raised a brow.
"I didn't think they put the guys in accounting on the same training regimen as the troops." He remarked, a definite attempt at a grin playing around his lips. Behind his glasses, Hux's eyes were wide. He'd just wanted the two days a month he spent as Bryan to be calm and stress-free, like they usually were. He wasn't looking for someone to ask questions about him. Questions lead to inquiries, which lead to mental evaluations which lead to dismissal from duty which lead to-
"Relax." Hux let out the breath he'd been holding, and that was a bit better. "I was just joking with you. Y'know, like coworkers do. We joke." His deep voice was suddenly serious. "I like to have fun."
Hux didn't mean to laugh, really he didn't. But the phrase, being said with that voice, from that face, coupled with his knowledge of how much the other members of the crew seemed to dislike Matt...it was inevitable.
Matt's face contorted with rage for a moment, then smoothed itself back out. It was as if he'd forgotten that he'd been telling a joke, and wasn't sure what the proper response should be to actually getting a laugh. Cute.
And then Hux did something he'd never done before; he lost himself within his role.
"I've never been good at fun." Bryan confessed, relaxing a bit. Matt eventually realized that he still had him by the arm, and let go. "I'm much better at math. Math, and avoiding everyone. Have you seen where my office is? No wonder I ran into you yesterday, I've never seen another person down that way."
"I could...show you something fun?" Matt offered, seeming to struggle with the words. "If you wanted. I know fun things. I know how to have fun." Bryan smiled up at him, sincere, and Matt immediately stopped chewing on his own phrasing.
"I'd like that. How about tonight?" Matt nodded dazedly, and Bryan plucked the datapad from his slackened grip. "According to the scheduling, you'll be free in four hours. I shouldn't be working much longer than that, you can show me fun then. Alright?" He nodded again, and Bryan reached out to pat his shoulder.
"Until then, Matt."
With that, he spun on his heel, walking quickly so he could get to his office before his better judgement caught up to him.
*
Bryan wasn't sure what he expected.
Matt had taken him to a rarely-used conference room. Through the window, Starkiller Base was easily visible, quiet and serene from this distance. He knew senior officers often snuck in contraband, and that there were areas of the Finalizer where people bunked off to break rules, but this was...it was different. And it was nice. It was peaceful here.
"I come here a lot, to think. To calm down. To just kind of...be." Matt started, as if he was trying to explain why he'd stolen them away to a secluded area instead of some wild party, but Bryan just shook his head.
"I like it." He declared, pulling one of the swiveling chairs over to the window. "It suits us."
From what he knew of Matt, the other man was willful, but still tried to fit in. He was prone to fits of anger, yet he tamped them down when he dealt with Bryan. He wasn't liked because of these traits, yet Bryan found he enjoyed Matt's awkward, stumbling speech, the smiles that never seemed to fit correctly on his mouth. The way his face had lit up when Bryan had said 'us'.
Bryan wasn't sure if he'd be able to put up with a man like Matt as Hux, but in the now, he liked him.
Matt had also dragged a chair over to watch the stars, and Bryan leaned into him, placing his head against the taller man's shoulder. There was every possibility that he was misreading Matt's intentions but well, even when he wasn't entirely himself, he was still good at figuring people out. His attention to detail was rewarded when Matt shivered, reaching over to settle his large, pale hand over Bryan's.
They sat like that for a long time, not speaking, and Bryan found that he was more relaxed than he'd been in a long time. Eyes falling to slits, he murmured, "Thank you for this, Matt."
Matt startled a bit, not expecting him to speak. His hand, sweaty from resting atop Bryan's for so long, was suddenly gone. Bryan began to sit up slowly, trying not to show his disappointment, when those pale, sweaty hands were gripping his shoulders.
Bryan couldn't tell what made the louder noise, when their glasses or their teeth smacked together. He almost laughed again, but knew that now wasn't the time. Instead, he tilted his head a bit, guiding Matt into a gentler version of that first wild kiss, smiling against his lips when Matt let out a soft whine. His own hands traveled upwards, tangling into blonde hair-
And promptly pulling it off.
He backed off immediately, chair skidding across the floor as Matt's hands flew up to cover his dark, shaggy curls. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth, words coming out in a croak.
"Kylo Ren."
Matt, Kylo, looked up at him. His eyes were brimming with anger, and fear, and the barest hint of remorse. "I didn't think it would go this far, Bryan. I didn't. I like you, a lot. I'm sorry I lied."
This strange, angry, insolent man, who could lift a man into the air with a wave of his hand, who claimed he could read minds...he didn't know. Oh, this would be sweet.
"I need to think about this." Hux replied quietly. "I'm only aboard the Finalizer two days a month. I liked Matt, but Kylo Ren, I don't know at all, I...let me think."
It would be easy enough to make messages look like they were coming up from Starkiller Base. They could keep in contact that way, and Hux would finally see what was going on beneath that cool facade Kylo used whenever he wasn't having a fit like a petulant child. He really needed to sell this goodbye, though.
"I'll contact you." He promised, standing from his chair and walking over to Kylo. In one swift motion, he'd pulled the fake glasses from Kylo's face, then leaned down to peck him on the cheek. "As soon as I get back to base, I'll contact you. I promise."
Though he wasn't smiling, Kylo's face had lit up all the same, and Hux felt his stomach jump. That expression made his face look so much younger, and it really wasn't such a bad face...Hux caught himself before he turned around and went back, walking out of the conference room, instead.
*
The next day, it was back to business as usual. "Matt" had revealed himself as Kylo Ren to their crew, many of whom were now dead. "Bryan" had washed the dye out of his hair, shaved his face, thrown his glasses into a drawer, and put on his uniform.
Hux stood next to Kylo on the bridge as they prepared to make the jump to hyperspace. Their presence was requested in another system, to quell rebellious uprisings before they got out of hand. After a few minutes of silence, Hux became aware of someone staring at him.
"Yes?" He asked testily, not even bothering to turn his head. In his mind, he pictured the wide-eyed expression Matt had given him when they'd run into each other in the hall.
"I like you better clean-shaven." Kylo murmured, and Hux felt his eye twitch.
Oh, that bastard. That absolute bastard.
He'd known all along.