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Immediately after the king dismissed them from the meeting, Xie Lian took Feng Xin’s left hand - the one with the unbroken arm - and led him to lie in the royal infirmary.
“Feng Xin,” Xie Lian said, “your arm - “
“Dianxia!” Feng Xin objected. “It’s just a small injury, I’m fine!”
In truth, waves of searing white-hot agony were flaring from the crack in his bones, perspiration beading at his forehead, his teeth gritted against the pain. But fuck if Feng Xin was going to show that.
“What kind of bodyguard would I be if a broken arm stopped me?”
Xie Lian silenced him with one glance. “Feng Xin, you need medical attention!”
The prince summoned the imperial doctors at once. Imperial Physician Li stepped forward and began to examine Feng Xin's arm. He was one of those boring old men who were always stroking their long beards as they studied dusty old medicinal tomes, the strong scent of herbs perpetually clinging to them.
Imperial Physician Li prodded Feng Xin's arm, drawing winces out of Feng Xin.
Stroking his beard, the Physician remarked, “His arm needs to be put in a sling.”
The Physician gestured, and an assistant brought forth the relevant materials in a wooden box - a roll of bandages and a splint.
The assistant stepped forward to do the honors, but Xie Lian stopped her, taking the materials from her instead.
“Let me do it, thank you.”
The attendant bowed and stepped aside.
“Dianxia, you don’t have to!” Feng Xin objected.
How could a crown prince bandage a bodyguard’s arm? Dianxia shouldn't be wasting his time on such a minor injury of Feng Xin's, it was merely Feng Xin's job to break his bones for Dianxia -
Yet Xie Lian shook his head, face grim and determined.
“Feng Xin, you broke your arm because of me. You’re my best friend, and you’re hurt. Let me take care of you, please!”
It was only then that Feng Xin noticed the minute tremor in Xie Lian’s voice, how his hands shook, just slightly.
“Dianxia…”
Was Dianxia worried for him? Feng Xin didn't understand, because it was just a broken arm, wasn't it? As if a mere broken arm could ever keep Feng Xin from carrying out his duties by his prince's side.
Besides, didn’t Dianxia know that for him, Feng Xin would gladly break all of his bones if it meant that Dianxia would be alright?
Still, Feng Xin stopped protesting and held his arm out, because he hated to see Dianxia's lovely face pinched with worry. Dianxia should always be smiling, always be carefree, and it was Feng Xin's job to ensure that. His fingers itched with the urge to smooth the furrow in his prince's eyebrows.
Xie Lian gave him an apologetic look, wincing sympathetically. “I’m sorry, Feng Xin. It must be really painful.”
Feng Xin shook his head. “No, Dianxia, this is nothing! I can barely feel a thing, really. I'm totally fine!”
Of course, it wasn't fine - the knuckles on Feng Xin's left hand were turning white from the force with which he gripped his own arm to brace against the pain.
Still, Feng Xin had been the kind of child who enjoyed running around scuffling and tumbling with other kids, which naturally resulted in numerous cuts and bruises. The rigorous training he had gone through since a young age to be worthy of being the Xianle Taizi's bodyguard was also no small matter. So he was truly no stranger to all manner of minor injuries and even sprains. In fact, he prided himself on possessing a fairly high pain tolerance, so it wasn't that hard to ignore the pulsating aches in his arm.
Besides, for his prince, forget one arm, Feng Xin would not flinch even if all the bones in his body were broken.
Xie Lian gave Feng Xin a wry smile, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“I know it must hurt more than you let on. You’ve always been the kind of person who would get up again and continue training even if you were bleeding from a wound. Silly Feng Xin!” he chided. “Anyway, I’ll be very gentle.”
Xie Lian took Feng Xin’s arm. With the softest, lightest of movements, even gentler than he handled the gold foil leaf palaces that he liked to play with as a child, he fit the splint against Feng Xin’s arm, cut off strips of bandage and carefully wrapped them around the broken bones.
Feng Xin was struck with the sudden memory of Xie Lian bandaging a young pigeon with a broken wing, tying a splint to it. Xie Lian was as gentle with Feng Xin as he was then with that bird - it was that tender compassion of Xie Lian's, which was extended to all living creatures, that made Feng Xin ready to lay his life down for Dianxia, to safeguard that limitless kindness.
Still, to be touched as gently as Dianxia touched a baby bird with a broken wing - it made Feng Xin's chest pang.
Xie Lian's hands on Feng Xin’s skin were so soft, and his teeth bit down on his lower lip as he worked, his forehead furrowed slightly in a look of concentration. He was standing so close…
This close, Feng Xin could feel stray strands of the prince's hair brushing against his arm like a caress, the sweet aroma of fresh blossoms and spring that always clung to Xie Lian filling Feng Xin's lungs. It made him shiver, light-headed. His heart raced furiously in his chest, stumbling against his ribs.
Feng Xin gritted his teeth, fighting the heat that threatened to rise to his cheeks. Xie Lian could not know about the torch that his own bodyguard carried for him.
Xie Lian finished fitting the splint, wrapping the bandages with a knot, and stood again. “Done! Feng Xin, how does it feel? Tell me if it's too tight.”
“It's just right. Thank you, Dianxia.” His heart rate was still too rapid, and he couldn't look Xie Lian in the eye.
Physician Li walked over to examine it and nodded. “Dianxia, it's well done. However, you should leave such matters to the assistants next time. It's not a job suitable for a crown prince.”
Xie Lian shook his head adamantly, ever the defiant prince. “Why shouldn't a prince do it? My friend is injured because of me, of course it should be I who treats him.”
Physician Li sighed and stroked his beard. “In any case, no strenuous activity, and plenty of rest for two to three months. Then he will recover in no time. He’s a strong young lad, this one. He will be fine.”
“TWO TO THREE MONTHS??”
What the fuck ?! Feng Xin could not believe his ears.
Heads turned at his outburst, but he didn’t give a fuck. He turned to Xie Lian.
“Dianxia, I can’t just lie here for three goddamn months! It's a broken arm, not a broken rib!”
Xie Lian threw him a cross look. The prince put on his serious expression, brows drawn in anger. “You must! Feng Xin, do as Physician Li says, or I’ll be mad at you!”
Feng Xin protested valiantly, “If it were you who had a broken arm, you wouldn’t just lie in the infirmary for three whole months either!”
“That’s because as a cultivator, with my spiritual powers, I would be able to utilize cultivation techniques to heal more swiftly. But you have no cultivation to fall back on, so you need to rest!”
Xie Lian paused then. His cross look softened into a gentler expression, eyebrows creasing with concern.
“Feng Xin, you’re injured, your arm is broken - won’t you please rest? For me?”
Xie Lian’s eyes were entreating, his tone soft in a manner that Feng Xin found it truly hard to say no to.
“Dianxia…” Feng Xin sighed, giving in. “For you, Dianxia.”
Only because he didn't like making his prince mad.
“Good. You must stay in the infirmary and rest. And that's an order!” Xie Lian added, for good measure.
Feng Xin cursed inwardly. He couldn't disobey a direct order from the crown prince, and Dianxia knew that. He didn't wield his royal authority on Feng Xin often, but now and then, he deliberately utilized it to put his foot down.
(Usually when Feng Xin was still working despite running a fever, or still training despite bleeding from a wound acquired in battle.)
And so Feng Xin had no choice but to resign himself to three long, boring months of confinement.
All things considered, having a broken arm wasn't that bad. It was only one arm, after all, he still had three more limbs!
Still, on the first night, taking a bath was difficult. Standing in the baths, with only one arm, Feng Xin scrubbed at his other shoulder. Every now and then he'd accidentally jostle his right arm and hiss in pain, but other than that he managed just fine, albeit much slower than usual of course.
The hard part was putting on his clothes again. He could still manage to hop into his pants with one hand, but raising his left arm and pulling it through the sleeve of his inner robes proved to be a challenge.
Bending his elbow immediately sent an intense stab of pain up his arm and he hissed in consternation, perspiration beading on his forehead.
“Fuck!” he swore. Frustrated, he wanted to tear off the entire fucking sling.
“Feng Xin!” A familiar voice called.
Feng Xin nearly jumped out of his skin. His head whipped around, and sure enough, Xie Lian had rushed into the baths in a swish of silk robes, eyes wide in alarm on his handsome face.
“Taizi Dianxia? Why have you come?”
“I was headed to the infirmary to check in on you! Feng Xin, are you having trouble dressing?”
“No, Dianxia, everything is fine!”
“I know it must hurt a lot, let me help you!”
A hand landed on his shoulder, taking hold of his sleeve.
Feng Xin was at present standing shirtless in the bath chambers, his arm in a sling, trying to pull on his goddamn sleeve with his cursed broken arm that wouldn't cooperate, and Taizi Dianxia himself was helping him into his clothes - what the flying fuck had the world come to?
“Dianxia, I can do it by myself, don't concern yourself with something as trivial as this!” He waved his unclothed right hand - the one with the broken bones - to punctuate his point, which caused a jagged bolt of pain to lance up his arm like lightning, drawing a hiss out of him.
Xie Lian gave him a rare cross look, eyebrows drawn and lips thin with anger.
“Feng Xin! Please don't move!”
With one arm, Xie Lian held his shoulder and with the other, he gently helped Feng Xin pull the sleeve of his inner robes up, then helped him into his tunic too. He even tied the belt sash at Feng Xin's waist for good measure.
Thankfully, Feng Xin had already managed to struggle into his pants with one hand before Xie Lian found him, or Feng Xin's heart would probably explode on the spot if Dianxia had to help him put that on too.
As it was, his face was on fire. He couldn't speak nor look at Xie Lian for a good few moments, his pulse jumping and breath stuttering.
“Dianxia, you really… are too kind,” he muttered at last, because he couldn't find a damn thing to say.
Xie Lian gently flicked his forehead with a slender finger. “Feng Xin ah, this has nothing to do with kindness. I've already told you, you're my friend and I don't want you to be in any more pain because of me.”
Despite the Crown Prince’s busy schedule, Xie Lian visited every day. Sometimes, he brought Feng Xin something from the palace banquets - delicious smoked duck, slices of fish, lotus root and pork rib soup.
“Feng Xin, I’ve saved you food from the palace banquets!”
Xie Lian was still decked head to foot in his resplendent gold-and-white crown prince robes, ornate golden hairpiece crowning the top of his head. He must have come straight from the royal feast.
He was smiling, eyes alight, his regal beauty dazzling as golden branches and jade leaves. Feng Xin was once again struck anew with the reminder of why the Crown Prince of Xianle was considered one of the four treasures of the Kingdom - gorgeous, gracious, compassionate and prodigious in all manners of talents, he was someone who Feng Xin could live five lifetimes and still never hope to be worthy of.
Feng Xin tore his gaze away from Xie Lian to the plates of food in his arms instead.
“Dianxia, as a bodyguard I can’t possibly eat the food from the palace banquets - “
How could a guard enjoy the same dishes as royalty? It was simply inappropriate.
But Xie Lian shook his head. “Nonsense, Feng Xin. You’re not just a bodyguard, you’re my best friend. I know the infirmary meals must be awful, so how could I not save you some dishes?”
Feng Xin blinked, chest panging with emotion. “Dianxia…”
Why was Dianxia doing all this for him? Feng Xin was his bodyguard, why was he treating him in the manner in which emperors treated their favored consorts?
On other days, Xie Lian surprised him by personally bringing Feng Xin herbal tonic soup.
“Feng Xin, I had the imperial physicians prepare this for you. It’s meant to reduce swelling and pain, and to promote qi circulation so that your bones will heal more swiftly.”
With one hand, the prince held back his long, wide sleeves as the other hand held out a bowl of tonic soup for Feng Xin.
Feng Xin sat up with a start, blinking. “Dianxia, you didn’t have to go through all this trouble! I’m fine, really!”
Xie Lian’s brows furrowed, mouth hardening into a stern line again. “Feng Xin ah, don’t act like a broken arm is nothing! At least drink the tonic soup. Or, do you really want to be stuck here for three months?”
Feng Xin blanched at the thought. “Okay, okay, I’ll drink it,” he relented.
As a rule, he detested all manners of tonics and herbal recipes; the vast majority of them tasted bitter as fuck. The imperial physicians seemed to make it a point to perpetually use the most bitter herbs known to man. But Xie Lian had a point - Feng Xin didn’t want to be stuck in this stuffy goddamn infirmary any longer than he had to. He had to admit that the crown prince knew how to be persuasive when he wanted to be.
Feng Xin sat up, and with his left arm, he reached for the bowl.
Xie Lian interrupted, “Wait! Since your right arm is broken, let me -”
The prince started to lift a spoonful of tonic soup, blowing it to cool the piping hot herbal mixture, and brought it to Feng Xin’s lips. All of a sudden, Xie Lian’s face was so close, every strand of his long lashes visible. Feng Xin’s pulse sped up abruptly, heat creeping up the back of his neck -
“Dianxia! It's alright, I can still use my left hand - “
“No, no, you’re right-handed, it’s not convenient. Let me feed you. Come on, A-Xin - “
Feng Xin’s heart lurched, knocking against his ribs.
“Dianxia, there's really no need - mmf!”
The instant Feng Xin’s mouth opened to object, Xie Lian, being the sneaky prince that he was, seized that opportunity to shove the spoon into Feng Xin’s mouth. As usual, Xie Lian’s movements were swifter than the flight of sparrows: as expected of Taizi Dianxia, the eminent Crown Prince and talented martial arts prodigy.
Feng Xin practically choked, wheezing and gagging on the taste. There was a reason he loathed herbal tonics!
And, of course, there was the fact that he was being fed by Taizi Dianxia himself, Feng Xin’s best friend and crush. Feng Xin had completely forgotten how to breathe. He doubled over, dissolving into fits of coughing.
From his wide sleeves, Xie Lian produced a silk embroidered handkerchief and dabbed it at Feng Xin's mouth, rubbing Feng Xin's back soothingly with his other hand.
“Careful, Feng Xin! Don’t swallow so quickly, you’ll choke!”
Feng Xin nearly spat the whole thing out. With effort, he forced the bitter concoction down, swallowing thickly. He hurried to exclaim, “Dianxia, I can still use my left hand, you really don’t have to go to all this trouble!”
“Of course I do!” Xie Lian answered earnestly. “Feng Xin, you’ve always been by my side, caring for me all these years, just let me take care of you for once in return.”
Feng Xin’s face felt like it was on fire. To be treated with this much care by the very prince whom he was in love with, it was almost too much…
“Dianxia, tell me about the banquet,” he said quickly, fishing for any change in the topic so that he didn’t have to focus on his stomach performing somersaults. “What did I miss?”
Xie Lian waved a hand dismissively. “Oh, it was as all banquets are. This one dragged on for so long - it was so boring without you! I wish you were there.”
Warmth suffused Feng Xin’s chest like a hearth lit in winter. “Dianxia, you really… wanted me to be there?”
“En! Of course! If you were there, I could whisper to you, and crack jokes, and your laughter would liven up the atmosphere, ahahaha!”
Xie Lian’s peals of laughter were such a mellifluous sound, ringing like lovely bells across the infirmary, and Feng Xin wanted to make his prince laugh like that again, and again, and again…
A month passed by like that, and then two, with Xie Lian visiting whenever he had a shichen to spare between his royal duties. He brought Feng Xin food and medicine, and even a bottle of bone-setting liniment that he'd acquired from the physicians and rubbed onto Feng Xin's bare arm so gently and slowly that Feng Xin's entire face flushed bright scarlet and Xie Lian asked him if he was feeling alright.
One day, Xie Lian didn't come to visit at all for two whole days. It made Feng Xin fret. What if something had happened to Dianxia?
Xie Lian didn't appear in the infirmary with his usual bowl of tonics and food from the royal kitchens - but someone else did.
“Mu Qing?!”
Feng Xin had to admit it took him by surprise - he didn't know the fucker cared.
Mu Qing rolled his eyes. “Don't look so shocked. Taizi Dianxia instructed me to bring you the tonic today.”
Sure enough, Mu Qing was holding a bowl of that bitter herbal tonic that Feng Xin loathed but put up with because it was Dianxia personally scooping it into his mouth.
“He did? Do you know where he is?”
“He didn't tell you? I guess there are things he keeps even from his precious bodyguard, huh?”
Feng Xin scowled. “Don't start with your weird twisted insinuations. Just answer the question.”
“Worried about him, are you? How touching,” Mu Qing drawled drily as he set down the bowl. “With how... close the two of you are, did he not tell you that he's gone to vanquish a ghost? They say it's a pretty fierce one, too.”
“A fierce ghost?! Where! Did something happen to him? He hasn't been back in days!”
Everyone said that Taizi Dianxia would ascend soon. What if he was facing a Heavenly Calamity, all alone? And if he had not been back in days - what if something had happened? Was he wounded? What if he needed Feng Xin?
Mu Qing made a big show of rolling his eyes. “What are you so worried for? It's Taizi Dianxia, he can handle it.”
“That’s true, but still, I wish I could just help him!"
Mu Qing's eyes rolled again, clearly mocking Feng Xin.
Feng Xin had enough of his bullshit. “Stop doing that! Your eyeballs are gonna fall right out of their damn sockets.”
Mu Qing pointedly ignored the jab. “Why don't you stop acting like a pathetic mooning idiot and making me gag. How do you expect to help with an arm like that? You can't defy a direct order from Dianxia. He was clear that you are to rest and do nothing else. He will probably have my head if you run off.”
Feng Xin swore, his left hand clenching angrily into a fist. “Fucking hell… Fine! I just hate being so fucking useless!”
He abhorred having to admit that Mu Qing, that fucker, was actually right. He couldn't just run out of the palace and chase after Xie Lian no matter how much he wanted to.
Irritation flashed in Mu Qing's eyes. “You are being granted months off of work and personally doted on by The Crown Prince of Xianle, and yet you still want to complain? How insufferable. Just drink your tonic. I'm not spoonfeeding it into your mouth like Dianxia does.”
With a swish of his ponytail, Mu Qing turned on his heel and exited the infirmary, leaving Feng Xin to curse loudly after his retreating back.
On the third morning, Dianxia still failed to show up with his usual plate of food and tonics for Feng Xin. Feng Xin couldn't stand simply lying still and waiting any longer. He was never the type to sit idly and wait.
Surely it couldn't hurt to take a walk while waiting for the prince to be back? He thought for a bit, satisfied himself that a stroll technically would not disobey the prince's orders to rest, and crawled out of that stuffy hospital bed for the first time in a month.
Part of him hoped to find Xie Lian, but there was no hide nor hair of the prince anywhere. He did, however, find the archery range, behind the palace gardens.
Staring at the archery boards, painted brightly with bull’s eyes in vivid red and white circles, his fingers itched to pick up one of the training bows to practice. He missed archery. He missed being able to do anything besides lie in wait for his goddamn arm to heal.
It had been two months already, surely his bones were better by now? Perhaps a little movement for his arm could serve as an exercise to help him regain use of it? Perhaps if he exerted the lowest amount of force and was exceedingly careful, it would not aggravate his injury too badly?
Surely it couldn't hurt?
With his good hand, Feng Xin lifted one of the training bows. Slowly, while gripping the bow with his left hand, he very carefully maneuvered his right, focusing his movements only on his hand and leaving weight off of his arm. Like this, he attempted to nock the arrow on the drawstring. His hands were shaky, and the entire length of his right arm throbbed, but other than that, the pain wasn't that bad so far.
He made to pull back the arrow, about to release it from the drawstring -
Instantly, white-hot bolts of agony lanced up his arm.
“Fuck!”
The bow and arrow slipped from his hands, clattering onto the floor, as spasms of pain wracked his broken limb. It was like every cell of his being was screaming in pure agony, permeating every iota of his consciousness.
Clutching his right arm with his good hand, he doubled over, sinking to his knees.
“God fucking dammit! Shitty arm - ”
“Feng Xin! I was looking all over the palace for you! Why are you at the archery range?”
It was Xie Lian rushing towards him. He must have finally returned from fighting that fierce ghost on Yi Nian Bridge. Feng Xin looked up, and through the haze of agony he noticed Xie Lian was sporting a few cuts on his face and arms. Were they left by the ferocious ghost? Would he still have been wounded if Feng Xin had been well and able to fight by his side?
“Dianxia - ”
Xie Lian's hands landed on his shoulders, sliding down to grasp Feng Xin's left arm, pulling him up onto his feet. “Feng Xin! Why were you trying to use a bow? Didn't I tell you to stay in the infirmary and rest?”
Feng Xin swore thickly through the sharp stabs of pain. “It's been two months, I thought I would be better already - ”
Xie Lian sucked in a harsh, worried breath. “You heard what Physician Li said, you need three months of rest! You need medical attention right now!”
He grabbed Feng Xin's hand and pulled him through the winding corridors of the palace to the infirmary, leaving no room for argument. Not that Feng Xin had the energy to argue right now, with his arm practically killing him.
Back in the infirmary, Physician Li examined Feng Xin’s limb and shook his head, sighing heavily. The physician stroked his long beard.
“Young man, you are a fool. You should not have moved your right arm at all. Now it will take even longer to recover!”
“Even longer than three months?!”
Physician Li droned on and on about how using one’s limb at this stage of the recovery was bad for one's qi, and the bones had sustained further cracks, and Feng Xin couldn't stand listening anymore.
Fucking hell, he was so fucked.
The pain kept Feng Xin up that night, piercing through his slumber, forcing him into wakefulness. Restlessly, he tossed and turned, unable to sleep on his right like he was used to. Whenever he jostled his arm by accident, sudden, stabbing jabs of agony would shoot up his limb instantly. He positively fucking hated it.
The next morning, Xie Lian was by his bedside again, with a bowl of bone broth this time, meant for promoting the growth of new bone matter. Feng Xin had finally given up on protesting Dianxia's doting and begrudgingly allowed Xie Lian to spoon-feed him the brown paste. It certainly tasted much less disgusting than the bitter tonic. Still, it didn’t mean he couldn't bemoan being banished to another two months of nothing but bed rest.
“Dianxia, I feel so fucking helpless like this,” he lamented. “You’re going to face your heavenly calamity any day now, going up alone against savage ghosts and dangerous demons - I want to help you! Let me come with you, please! It's just one fucking arm, I still have three more limbs - ”
Xie Lian shook his head, eyes furious. “Feng Xin ah, please, you need to rest, or the state of your injury will only deteriorate! It's already gotten worse!”
Feng Xin cursed and scrubbed his left hand over his face. “I just wish this shitty fucking arm would heal faster!”
Xie Lian placed an arm on his shoulder consolingly. “It will if you rest more, instead of aggravating the injury.”
Feng Xin swore even more severely, his mood darkening. “I motherfucking hate being like this, Dianxia. I hate not being able to fight. Not being able to protect you! Being so fucking useless!”
The fingers of his left hand curled, clenching into a fist. He itched to fire off some arrows in the archery range, or chop the head off a demon, or to do something, anything, anything but to lie here wretchedly -
Xie Lian countered sharply, “Feng Xin, you're not useless!”
Still, a horrific thought occurred to Feng Xin. “Imperial Physician Li said it’s worsened, but he didn't explain how bad it was. What if my arm doesn't heal, and I can't ever use it again?”
“No, you will definitely heal. Just give it time.”
“But what if it's never the same again? What if I can't use a bow anymore? What if I can't even… be your bodyguard anymore?”
Feng Xin wasn't usually one for catastrophizing. He didn't have twisted, warped thoughts like Mu Qing. But perhaps the cabin fever of the past months spent locked up in this stuffy infirmary had finally gotten to him. Because suddenly, he couldn't think of anything else. It was his worst fear. What if he lost use of his dominant arm entirely, and could never do archery again, never protect Dianxia again? If he was no use to Dianxia anymore, would the king not dismiss him at once?
“Feng Xin,” Xie Lian cut in sharply, stopping his spiraling thoughts in their tracks. “That will never happen. I know that you'll always be by my side.”
“But what if, one day, His Majesty decides to - ”
“No!” Xie Lian cried instantly. He knew what Feng Xin was thinking before Feng Xin even finished his sentence. “Absolutely not. I will never let Father dismiss you, A-Xin.” He gripped Feng Xin's left hand tightly, brows furrowed in determination, those beautiful eyes blazing with conviction. “As long as I'm here, that will never happen. So don't you worry! Besides, even if your arm really never recovered, even if you can't use a bow anymore - it doesn't mean you would be useless to me.”
Feng Xin nodded. “You’re right, I'll just learn another weapon, something I can wield with one hand - ”
Perhaps he could learn how to stab enemies with a dagger using his left hand? He had always wanted to pick up more combat skills and expand his abilities.
Xie Lian shook his head emphatically. “No, that's not what I meant. Feng Xin, don't you know?”
A warm pair of hands cupped Feng Xin's chin, angling it to face Xie Lian directly.
Feng Xin started - Xie Lian's face was so close, his brown eyes lit into molten gold by the sunlight streaming through the windows, his gaze so serious and intent, his beauty so striking it was like staring directly into the sun. Feng Xin found himself squinting against that blinding brilliance, his breath catching in his throat.
“Even if you couldn't fight anymore,” Xie Lian said seriously, “I'd still want you by my side. Not because you are my bodyguard, but because you are my dear A-Xin.”
And before Feng Xin could react, Xie Lian cupped Feng Xin's face in his hands, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth, soft as the brush of a dove's wings.
Feng Xin was so startled that he froze, completely forgetting to close his eyes or kiss back. His pulse stuttered, going wilder than a panicked rabbit, heart hammering so fast that he was sure it would burst right out of his chest.
“Dianxia?!”
Fucking hell, this had to be some kind of lucid hallucination, there was no other explanation -
“Xin’er, I really, really, really like you,” Xie Lian blurted out in a rush, the words spilling against Feng Xin’s lips. His face was so close that Feng Xin could see every long, pretty eyelash. Dianxia was so gorgeous… “I don't like seeing you in pain, so, please, won't you get better for me?”
Feng Xin's head spun, the infirmary room tilting around him, rendering him light-headed. Absurdly, the impulse arose to pinch himself, just to ensure that he wasn't dreaming, that this was truly real, because how the fuck was it possible that Taizi Dianxia had just kissed him?
But if it were a dream, it wasn't one he wanted to awaken from.
Xie Lian's arms were around Feng Xin's waist - careful to avoid Feng Xin's arm sling - pressing himself so close against Feng Xin, so close that his hair tickled Feng Xin's cheek. Feng Xin's skin was on fire at every point where it was in contact with Xie Lian's. With Xie Lian's sweet floral scent filling Feng Xin's lungs and the lingering taste of his lips, Feng Xin's heart throbbed fiercely in the cage of his ribs, his stomach performing backflips.
“Dianxia…” Feng Xin finally snapped out of his shock enough to close the brief remaining distance between their mouths and kiss the boy he loved, the boy who held Feng Xin's heart in his hands.
Some distant part of Feng Xin's brain yelled at him that he probably shouldn't do this, should probably stop before some unknown threshold was crossed that they could never return from - because What the fuck, what do you mean Dianxia actually feels the same way? and His Majesty is going to chop off my head, and Fuck, we are still in the infirmary, someone could see us -
But in that moment Feng Xin could hardly give a flying fuck, because he was kissing Taizi Dianxia, and Taizi Dianxia was kissing him back. Xie Lian's lips were just as heavenly as he'd always thought they would be, sweeter than the honey from bees and softer than the petals of the loveliest rose. It was dizzying, intoxicating.
“Dianxia, I really like you too," Feng Xin breathed against Xie Lian's lips, when they at last paused for air. “Fuck, I think I've always been in love with you. I will certainly get better… for you, Dianxia. Just for you.”
The corners of Xie Lian's lips lifted, and his smile was like the sunrise, the breaking of dawn over treetops illuminating everything in its reach. “Then I'll hold you to that, A-Xin.”