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Jimin giggles, again.
"Hyung," Jungkook scolds, a little tucked on laugh at the end. "Can you please be serious?"
"I’m sorry, I'm sorry," he shakes himself off, closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, "I'll try."
"For real?" They've been here for at least half an hour now, and Jimin has been stalling them since the beginning. Trying to distract Jungkook with questions, with random little tangents. Jungkook knows him by now; he knows his game.
He gets puppy eyes back; this just proves Jungkook’s theory that something’s not right here. Jimin never pulls those out unless he wants something. "For real, baby, I swear."
No sooner than Jungkook has raised the camera again, the serious face Jimin had managed to hold onto shatters again.
Of course.
"Yah!"
Jimin laughs and laughs, tearing up. "I'm sorry, I don't--I don't know why I can't do this." He pats the corners of his eyes gently. “I’m just wasting your time, at this point. Maybe we should stop.”
Aha. There it is.
“I have all afternoon,” Jungkook says casually. It’s not really true. He’s only booked this studio for a couple hours, if he tells Jimin that, it’s game over. “We can take a break and go back to it in a minute.” He smiles. “Do you want some coffee? There’s this stand in the back of the building, I can go get some for us.”
Jimin nods, still looking up from the floor, right where he had sat to start the shoot. Just clad in some shorts and an open black zipper hoodie, the tattoo is just about visible; still new enough to give Jungkook shivers every time he sees it. Really, he could just sit here and look at Jimin forever.
But Jimin always gets blushy when he does. “What are you looking at,” he says, slapping him on the thigh where he can reach, “go already!”
Jungkook leaves, walking backwards just to keep up his staring; just to make Jimin blush a little deeper.
It was funny, how this came about.
Jungkook’s just been a bit stressed and annoyed; it’s summer season, so the photography studio is booked and busy. He barely has time to think between jobs, photographing people’s weddings and family reunions and graduations and who knows what else. He’s constantly sweating, driving from place to place with his boss, and one night he’d just lied on Jimin’s floor in his boxers and whined, just to get it all out.
Jimin listens to his ranting carefully, as he always does. He makes soft acquiescing sounds as he pittered around the house, watering the plants, putting out food for Bamie.
“Poor baby,” he says, when he finally comes to sit down by him, dropping a little kiss on his stomach, “we need to get you some fun, as soon as possible.”
Jungkook turns on his side to face him with a pout. “I don’t even get to take pictures for fun anymore. It’s all work. I’m forgetting why I even like it.”
“Mmm,” Jimin hums, settling on his side too. He leans forward to catch Jungkook’s chin in his hands and plant a kiss on his lips. “I’m sorry, Jungkook-ah. I wish I could help you.”
Jungkook sulks for a long moment, eyes roaming over Jimin. His binder is stained with sweat. It’s the dark green one with the zipper, so Jungkook catches it with his fingers. “Why don’t you take this off? Aren’t you warm?”
Jimin doesn’t stop him as he unzips the whole thing slowly, leaving him bare. Jungkook leans forward to leave a trail of kisses all over his chest, slowly taking the thing off completely. Jimin lets him do it with a faint smile on his face, loving the attention. He lies down on the floor so Jungkook can lean over him, continuing to kiss kiss kiss his way everywhere, stopping for an especially gentle, careful kiss on the tattoo.
It’s still so impressive to him, the way Jimin had sat through that without a peep. The meticulous way he’d take care of it after. It’s looking sharp and bold, and Jungkook can’t get enough of it.
“I wish I could just take pictures of things I liked,” he mumbles, lips trailing over Jimin’s skin still, “like you.”
Jimin laughs, but Jungkook sits up, a little cartoon lightbulb lights up above Jungkook’s head.
“No,” Jimin says when he notices he was serious about it. “No way, baby.”
For days after, Jungkook cannot get it out of his head. He pesters Jimin with the idea, attacking him with soft neck kisses and pleasepleaseplease. He is not above begging, or using Jimin’s words against him. I wish i could help you, wasn’t that what he’d said?
That’s what gets Jimin to agree in the end, proclaiming it the one and only time you play me like this, Jeon Jungkook.
But right now, it seems like it’s Jimin who’s playing him.
Coffee takes ten minutes. The whole time they drink it, Jimin’s legs thrown over Jungkook’s lap, he’s fidgeting, way too silent compared to his chatter from before.
He gets like this when there’s something on his mind. Jungkook’s instinct is to ask and prod and try to get to the bottom of it, his own anxiety sending his mind into overdrive; but he’s learned by now that only brings tense, somber Jimin, and it makes talking way harder, in the end.
So Jungkook’s learned to be patient. Jimin will talk when he’s ready.
“Okay,” Jungkook says excitedly with the final sip of his coffee, putting their cups aside, “let’s go?”
Jimin doesn’t move.
“We have about an hour before we should get going if we want to make it home before traffic hits, so let’s do this!” Jungkook reaches back for his camera, and turns to him expectantly. “Ready?”
Jimin’s face has completely changed from before, gone a little pale. There’s no easy chatter anywhere to be seen, it’s just wide eyes and a little frown. “I don’t think I can do this, Jungkook-ah.”
Okay, now he’s getting worried. He can’t not ask when Jimin’s sitting here all tense, a raw nerve.
“Why?” Jungkook puts the camera down again gently. “What’s wrong?”
Jimin watches him like a hawk as he approaches. “I don’t know. I just don’t think I can. I…” He huffs a nervous laugh, hiding his mouth behind his palm. "I think I'm embarrassed."
Jungkook kneels down next to him. He presses a kiss to Jimin’s bare shoulder, then brings the hoodie up to cover it. "You know this stays with me, right? I would never do anything with it if you said you didn't want me to."
"No, I know," Jimin hastens to say, zipping the hoodie up a little higher, crossing his arms over his chest. "I just." He shrugs. "I've never done this before."
"Better not have.” He can't help the little stab of jealousy. He's never felt this before; the way he feels about Jimin makes him dumb, and Jimin knows, so he smiles at him fondly.
"Come here, mm?" He brings him in with a hand on his nape, locks their lips together. "Of course I haven't. Who would want to take pictures of me?"
" I do," Jungkook insists. "Don't go undermining my eye for beauty, Jimin-ssi. I’m starting to think you don’t think I’m a good photographer!"
Jimin rolls his eyes. He's sitting all hunched like usual, arms around his knees. "I'm not. I'm sure you know what you're doing."
"I can hear the but coming strong."
"But..." He bites his lips. Jungkook tries to not lose focus. "No one has ever wanted me this way before."
Oh.
"It's like," he smiles a sad smile, and Jungkook sees in it all the stuff he's still working through, a short glimpse of the iceberg Jimin normally only lets him see the tip of, "I never felt desirable, not ever in my life.” He hunches in further. “Not for who I really was. Imagine that, baby. Twenty-eight years." He shakes his head, eyes a little red. “Um.” He tries to hold the shaking of his voice at bay, obviously, but he can’t, so he keeps smiling as a tear falls, right onto his forearm.
Jungkook feels so fucking useless right now.
What could he possibly say? What could he possibly do to try and heal a wound that’s an entire lifetime in the making?
Nothing, in this moment. But Jungkook’s in this for the long-haul. If he starts in this moment, and does again in the next, and the next, eventually he’ll catch up.
He can put in the hours for Jimin. He beat death for him, so this is child’s play.
"You," Jungkook says, wrapping his arms around him, "are the most beautiful man I've ever seen."
Jimin scoffs, a self-deprecating thing down to its core. "Alright."
"No, none of that! Hyung!” He tries to catch Jimin’s eye. “You don’t believe me, I know, but you know I wouldn't lie to you, right? I went to school with aspiring models, met all kinds of celebrities and celebrity wannabes. And no one, not one of them, made me want them as much as I want you." He raises Jimin’s chin to him. "And you're not even trying. Imagine what's going to happen when you realise your power."
Jimin hums, obviously not convinced. "Too much power for one person to have. That's why I'm graciously letting it slide, see."
This moment, and the next, and the next, Jungkook chants inwardly. He brings Jimin's face up to his for a little kiss. Despite his upset, Jimin grants it willingly. "Tell you what,” he says, lips to Jimn’s temple, “let’s try it for five minutes, okay? Just five minutes and if you don’t want it anymore, we’ll stop. I’ll delete everything. Okay?” Jimin’s eyes are looking between Jungkook’s, thoughts racing inside of him. “Let me show you how I see you, please."
That’s what does it, in the end. “Five minutes?”
Jungkook nods, heart leaping.
“Okay.”
Jungkook shoots up, jittery with excitement. "Ignore the camera. Pretend it's just me, okay?"
Jimin doesn't relax right away. It takes some long minutes for him to unwind, for his shoulders and jaw to stop being tight; and it’s only after Jungkook starts being silly.
“Yes!” he yells, pulling a surprised laugh out of Jimin, “fucking nailing this, Park Jimin-ssi!” He snaps picture after picture of Jimin’s smiling face, and he can’t help his own. “Oh, I want you,” he says in this deep, overly sensual voice, “I want you.” Jimin laughs at him again, and his eyes don’t lose their sparkle after that.
Jungkook is transfixed, just like he’s been since the beginning, since that very first summer day where Jimin caught his eye in the cemetery. He held every single word and smile and story of Jimin’s close to his heart, from June to August, letting it wake up again slowly from its numbness. He clung to them even tighter in the whole year after, too. He thought of him endlessly, in his darker moments fearing it had all been just a dream, and in his brighter ones hoping he might meet him every time he stepped outside; just by some flick of destiny's wrist.
But Jungkook couldn’t trust destiny with Jimin anymore; he’s too precious to lose to her whims.
Another reason for his constant stress recently is the proposal. Living together. Moving in. Jimin and Jungkook and Bam, living together again, on purpose.
He’s exhausted by longing for it.
They spend several days a week together right now, but that’s not enough for Jungkook. He’s trying to find the perfect moment to ask Jimin, but he’s been so fucking busy he hasn’t had time to set anything up.
But he’s impatient. Always has been, even more now in love. He wants as much of Jimin as he can have. Wants every day. Wants everything.
In the end, Jimin calls it at ten minutes. He immediately zips the hoodie up fully, puts the hood on. Jungkook rushes to him to hug him with an arm around his waist. "So good," he tells him, with a kiss to his cheek. "You did so good, hyung."
Jimin leans on him, kissing him lightly. "If you say so." He nuzzles their noses together. "Are you happy?”
Jungkook nods. “Can’t you tell?”
Jimin smiles too, wrapping his own arms around Jungkook. It will never get old, this easy touch they have between them. Jungkook gathers every second of it all up, leans into it at every turn; he can remember all too well the feeling of crying at the first brush of a hand. He feels blessed every time Jimin holds his hand, and he doesn’t think it will ever stop.
“Can we go to yours?"
Jungkook pretends to play hard to get. "I don’t have food there.”
“We can order.”
“I leave early for work.”
“I’ll make you coffee.”
“How about the baby?"
"Taehyungie's got him for tonight. Let's just be you and me."
Jungkook’s heart leaps again; something tells him he’s not the only impatient one.
Jimin sleeps peacefully next to him the whole night, but Jungkook can’t.
He spends hours editing the photos. He fixes the colours, tries all different kinds of options. Choosing his favourites is a pain, and it must take so long, because the sun comes up by the time he’s managed to edit just about half a dozen.
He’s got ten he’s happy with by the time Jimin stirs next to him.
“What are you…” He slaps him on the thigh with the back of his hand. “Jungkook. Don’t tell me you’ve been on the computer all night.”
Jungkook rubs his eyes, hella dry. “Guilty.”
Jimin tries to push the screen down, but Jungkook holds it close to his chest. “No! I’ll lose all my progress!”
“What, are you gaming or something?”
“No,” he says, clicking on the save button five times for good measure before bringing the laptop back down. “Come here, I’ll show you.”
Jimin moves himself, on his stomach, and drapes himself all over Jungkook. One hand around his torso, head on his chest. “What is it,” he mumbles sleepily. “You really need to watch this sleep thing now you’re so busy, baby. You go to work so early almost every day--”
Jimin shuts up the second the picture comes up. Jungkook’s the most proud of this one. Jimin’s got an almost sultry look in his eyes, only made better by the hint of a smile. The hoodie is hanging right on the edge of his shoulder, a breath away from falling away; somehow, the implication of more skin makes it all the more tantalising.
It’s a vision. Jimin is a vision.
“What do you think?” he asks nervously.
Jimin sits up. Silently, he turns the laptop screen towards him.
“That’s me?” he asks in a small voice. He catches Jungkook’s eye and doesn’t believe his affirming nod. “You did something to it.”
“I colour-corrected it so it would pop more,” Jungkook confirms. “See, if you check here,” he opens up the editing software and shows Jimin the few fixes he’s been doing on everything, after he settled on how he wanted it. “So that’s all. Do you like it?”
“Can I see one you didn’t edit?”
Jungkook lets him take a look at the file. “That still doesn’t look like me,” Jimin says again in a mumble.
“Why do you say that?”
“Because…” He leans back into Jungkook’s chest. “That’s a great photo. It looks really professional.” He taps Jungkook’s stomach. “It must be because you’re such a good photographer.”
“No, no, no.” Jungkook will not hear this. “Hyung, remember what I said? That I would show you how I see you?” He turns the screen towards Jimin again. “This is how I see you. All the time.”
“What does…what does that mean? For you?”
God, where to start? “Playful, funny. Sexy. So beautiful. So captivating you make me want to stop everything I’m doing just so I can look at you.”
“You called me that before,” Jimin mumbles, biting his lip. “Captivating.”
“I know.” He presses a kiss to Jimin’s cheek. “I’ve always thought so.”
“You can’t possibly think I’m--I’m sexy, or any of that stuff all the time. Look at me.” He points at himself, his bed head, his swollen face. “Look me in the eyes and say you think I’m sexy right now.”
Jungkook catches Jimin’s face between his hands. “Jimin-ssi, you are so fucking cute right now, and that is so sexy to me.” He smiles at the eye-roll he gets back. “Why are you fighting me, hm? You’re gonna lose.”
“That’s really how you see me?”
Jungkook nods. “Yes. I see you like that, all the time. And I want you, all the time.”
Jimin stares at him for a long second, like he’s trying to call his bluff. But Jungkook isn’t bluffing. He’s speaking directly from his heart, and his heart is Jimin’s.
Jimin must see that somehow, because he makes a soft little noise and pulls him into a hug, kicking the laptop away to the end of the bed. He speaks all muffled into his shoulder. “I love you,” he whispers, and Jungkook’s heart explodes, just like every time Jimin says that, “So I’m really trying to believe you."
“It’s okay,” Jungkook whispers back, hugging him too, settling them down on the bed on their sides, “we have time. I’ll tell you again.” He bites at the tip of Jimin’s nose gently. “You can’t stop me.”
Jimin cracks a smile. “I love you,” he mumbles again, pressing a kiss to Jungkook’s smiling mouth.
Jungkook can picture the rest of their day so clearly. Their breakfast, the easy way they move around each other. He knows Jimin’s going to pout when he has to go home later, so Jungkook’s going to offer to drive him and go up to say hi to Bamie only to get caught in another easy afternoon with them, and he won’t want to leave. He never, ever wants to leave.
And soon, he won’t have to. Any day now, he’ll ask, and Jimin will say yes; to their life, about to begin.
Jungkook can’t fucking wait.