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It was the 19th of July. The day Justin was set to release his second single, “kaibigan”, he had stayed awake past his bedtime to join the countdown for his music video premiere. And unbeknownst to his thousands of fans, someone was promisingly waiting alongside them, too. Let’s just say he’s Justin’s proclaimed number one fan. Of course, it was none other than Ken.
Whilst on a facetime call, the two were both fixated on their screens, intently watching as if they hadn't already seen the mv multiple times together prior to its release. Still, Ken was always determined to be there, wanting to show his support in all the ways he could. It was a huge moment for Justin, and he wouldn’t dare miss it for the world.
Everything seemed to be perfectly well that night until….
“Mapanakit ka naman masyado, Direk. Based on real-life experience ba ‘yan?”
“Oo, naranasan ko na kasing hindi piliin two years ago….”
Ken immediately felt regret over his seemingly harmless banter, which was meant only to tease the other. And so did Justin, with his absentmindedly impulsive response. They continued their conversations about some more specifics, the whatnots, and the creative process of the music video. However, from that moment on, a subtle awkwardness settled between the two. Having already become familiar with the younger, Ken noticed Justin’s mood shift toward unease. Perhaps unwarrantedly reminded of the very reason why the song was even written in the first place—that at some point two years ago, kaibigan was their own tale.
And Ken didn’t like that thought. So despite it already being half past midnight, and going for an almost 20-minute drive, he knew it was a dire need to be at Justin’s place as soon as possible.
“Kenken! Bakit ka nandito?” Justin asks, despite being taken aback at his boyfriend’s unannounced visit. He wrapped his arms around the latter, enclosing him in a tight hug.
“I’m sorry, ‘ga. I shouldn't have brought that up.”
“Okay lang, love ano ka ba. Sorry din if I acted indifferently. Wala lang talaga ‘yun promise. I’m okay.”
"No, 'ga, listen to me. What you felt is valid. Maybe I can't change what happened in the past, but what matters now is this. It's you I see in my future. It's you I'll keep choosing, every single day," he says in a tone with such tenderness and finality that Justin felt as though he could melt right then and there, and later plants his lips on his boyfriend’s forehead.
“Ano ba ‘yan, Ken. Parang papuntang vows na 'yan ah. Oo na, I do.”
Now that’s more like Justin, Ken thought with relief. They both laughed in unison; suddenly, the brittle awkwardness from earlier had gone in an instant. Admittingly, words may not have been the couple’s strongest suit, but they make efforts to communicate in resolve nonetheless—in times of misunderstandings or in the pettiest of arguments. Their love was about assurance and compromise, after all. They let go of the hug, simply basking in comfortable silence, and glued their eyes to one another.
“I love you, Jah.”
And Justin, for a fact, knew that. Most importantly, he felt it like he always does. Not just in the sincerity of Ken’s words, but he sees it every time he stares at his endearing eyes, which mirror a reflection of him, only him. More so, it was in the thought that Ken could have said those things through a text message, but instead did more than that—he showed up.
“I love you too, Kenken. Thank you. Anong oras na oh nagpunta ka pa talaga. Sleepy na 'ko, dito ka na matulog.” Ken willingly agrees. It seems that was his plan, too.
That same night, Justin went to bed knowing that things were finally different from what happened two years ago. That he had stopped wondering every night if his love was meant to be reciprocated. Because this time, he feels assured that he wouldn't have to go through that same pain ever again. It all dawned on him when he found himself succumbing to the warmth of his lover’s arms.