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The best, and possibly only, perk of having to live amongst the Arkers was access to hot, running water. Several months on the ground with nothing but bathing in a pond or out of a bucket hadn't enhanced life, to say the least.
Octavia preferred to go to the bathhouse late at night when it was completely deserted. She trusted almost no one in camp, except Lincoln, and his willingness to align with the guard made her feel more the outsider than ever. Her relationship with Bellamy had never been more strained, and she had pulled away from everyone else in her anger.
It was well past midnight when Octavia headed out with a bag of clothes, toiletries and a sword at her side. She was never unarmed.
She reached the bathhouse, which was totally empty and dark, and cut on the harsh, fluorescent light. She choose the stall at the far end of the row of ten or so, pulled the curtain to and began removing her clothes as the water got up to a comfortable temperature.
As she stood under the spray, her thoughts whirled in her mind. Her dedication to Lincoln was unwavering, she knew he was making the best of several hard choices, and he was doing so for her sake. Even so, she couldn't shake the desire to run, to leave this mess behind. To find something new and better, somewhere.
She was so consumed in her thoughts that she didn't hear him until he had already began removing his clothes in the space behind her. Lincoln's ability to always know exactly where Octavia would be was uncanny.
She looked at him for a moment, keeping a passive expression on her face and then turned back to the face the water.
Lincoln approached her cautiously. Their argument several days ago about the jacket still hung in there air between them, though they seemed at peace in their daily habits. He lightly placed his hand on her shoulder.
Octavia closed her eyes and took a deep inhale at the heat of his touch. After a moment, she put her hand over his, and pulled him, ever so gently, to incircle her in his arms. He rested his chin of top of her head. Though they stood silently under the hot shower of water, innumerable emotions were communicated in that moment.
Octavia turned to toward him and lifted her gaze to his face. He looked down at her as he always did: intensely, piercingly, adoringly. He leaned down so that their foreheads met. Finally, he broke the silence.
"Octavia, I know you hate this place. I know it's not home. And I know you hate me for wearing that guards jacket."
"Lincoln, I could never hate you..."
"Still, I see you hurting. I understand why. Please know that. But...this isn't forever. I swear it. This is just for now. To keep us safe, and together, and alive."
"Lincoln, I know that...I do. It's...just hard." She choked out, her voice breaking.
He pulled her in close, wrapping her in a protective embrace. He planted soft kisses on both cheeks and then on her mouth.
"Shhh. I hear you. And as soon as we can, as soon as I find a way, we can leave and never look back if that's what you want. We will find a real home, a place where we belong."
"You are my home, Lincoln. I just need you."
He held her tightly for another moment. Then using his index finger, lifted her chin to look at her. She gave him a smile, though there were still tears in her eyes.
They finished their shower in silence. Octavia cherished every loving touch of his hands as he washed her hair and massaged the tension out of her shoulders. She poured all of her love for him into scrubbing his chest and back, scratching his skin lightly with her nails, and tracing the patterns of his tattoos with her finger tips as she rinsed him.
They helped each other dry and dress. Lincoln gently pulled a comb through Octavia's long, damp hair before weaving it into a messy braid down her back.
They left the bathhouse hand in hand before Lincoln spoke again.
"Ai hod yu in, Octavia"
"Ai hod yu in, Lincoln. And I know you are doing what is best for us."
"If we can make it here for just a little while longer, I know we can find a better way. If not with Trikru at Skaikru, then somewhere else." Lincoln reassured her.
"We'll make it, Lincoln. We always do."
They slept soundly in each other's arms that night, with the knowledge that what ever might happen around them, they had between them an unshakable bond.