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“If you wish to inflict even the slightest damage on me, you should have come to embrace me without hesitancy. Whisper me those sweet loving words. You can lower my guard there, easily inflicting the damage. My lord would do that, each of his action has its own meaning”
No matter how many times Ibara has to say that he has no intention to be like His Lord , Gatekeeper would still remind him of all the skill, movement, strategy which that whore would do. There is almost no point talking back. He would just sound like a little boy eager for acknowledgement. Ibara sighed. “You know there is a meaning of my act. I'm drawing a wall between you and these people…”
His eyebrows raised on those strange priorities. But then Gatekeeper chuckles a little, he can at least tell what is the meaning of it clearly. As if Ibara's answer means that he is simply different from His lord, so Gatekeeper doesn't have to teach him what his lord would do.
Fascinating. He is still the same little boy he picked up, yet so mature in his own way.
It's been years since the last time he saw Ibara face to face like this. The last time he did, he remembered how this boy managed to handle everything himself while putting himself above everything and never waste any energy or time to protect unless it's directly related to his benefit. If he could be honest, it was the main reason why he can leave Ibara to live by himself at ease. Watching the way he worked, the way he treated people, Gatekeeper knows that Ibara is more than capable of thinking for himself and of course, for the people who work for him.
But this change of attitude, it's peculiar. Looking at these two kids that Ibara protected behind him… Gatekeeper fails to see anything special in them. They also didn't seem to have a significant role in Ibara's life after all — much to what he learned from Yuuki. Perhaps if its Eden members, it would explain something.
It does raise a question: is Ibara doing it simply because he lost the sense of his goal or… ? If Ibara grows soft because of his new environment, for as long as he still stands high himself, it's not a problem. But if he simply forgot himself…
?
Oh my, what a gaze. Gatekeeper scoffed at the glare. This is a little worrying but mostly not unpleasant.
— don't look at me like I'd destroy everything you care about like that, I'm not your enemy little Ibara.
Whether Ibara could notice the smiles formed on Gatekeeper's face or not doesn't really matter. There is a tint of worry in his words pointing out how Ibara's priority has changed, but it appears the little boy might fail to notice that tint. Or does he not?
He is free to hate me as an extent to his hatred to My Lord. As long as it fuels his growth…
It doesn't matter.
.
At first,
Gatekeeper thought that no matter how much Ibara despised his lord, in the end, Ibara would still walk on his lord's path unconsciously. There is no need for him to push or lead Ibara to live in this path as the boy himself was the one who picked this option when Gatekeeper presented all the possibilities to him upon his freedom. Ibara has encountered many trial and error himself that ended up shaping him to who he is now, and yet, he still arrived here without Gatekeeper’s hints after all.
His strong determination and motivation to keep standing back might be something that Gatekeeper missed from His Lord . That was one trait of Ibara that resembled his lord so much in his youth. The trait that draws him in.
Unfortunately… That amazing and special trait has long disappeared the moment his lord stepped down from stage.
— Pain he would say.
Gatekeeper was quite excited to see his lord step down from the stage. He thought that finally his lord had enough of the idol world which Gatekeeper hates. But at last, the loss of that light in his lord's life only forced him to sit back and look for the new light without even looking under the surface where Gatekeeper lived anymore.
Yes. His Lord used the darkness to steer tons of things above. Yet he despises that darkness himself. He mocked and trampled them, forcing them to do things as he wished. But he never showed that sight. In front of them, he is the fine leader that they always wanted.
Thats why, watching how much Ibara still thrives alone even in the depths of the pit whenever he was forced to fall because of the betrayal of his people, makes Gatekeeper wonder, that perhaps, Ibara can be stronger than his lord. The fact that he would even extend his hand to those who have fallen, it's something that His Lord would never do.
At least in those moments he bound himself only for the light.
The answer to that wonder might only be seen in the future.
But for now, there are more pressing matters.
After a tiring month of SS qualifications, Gatekeeper finally gets to rest from the mess that is Ensemble Square idols. Technically he still needs to oversee the Final management but Christmas is close, most of the idols and staff are busy taking care of week long hell that is called Christmas season. For that he set the poor girl free. So instead of wasting his time in the headquarters, he went out to track the certain nephew of his who has gone missing for almost a month already.
Unfortunately he couldn't find him yet.
Is he even okay… did his father get his hand on him…? Letting them roam free with their plan without his supervision was already worrying. But Gatekeeper couldn't do much as he also had to track down their father while protecting Adam at the same time.
Now it's been a month without any communication, it would be a lie if Gatekeeper says he isn't worried.
But —
“Monban…”
?
Has he grown senile or this alcohol is just too strong that he starts hearing the voice of his lord?
He sighed. He isn't a lightweight, perhaps he is just tired. So he decided to close his eyes trying to calm himself and his vision from the busy lights of this bar. He also tapped on his glass requesting a refill to the bartender.
Maybe the exhaustion allowed alcohol to actually affect him this time. Was it a delusion? Hallucination? He doesn't know. But the moment he closed his eyes, he could feel the cold touch of gloved fingers, caressing his hair softly. Almost identical to what his lord would do to him — at least, that's what he thinks it is.
“Drinking alone? … Here I thought that you can't get drunk anymore?”
That voice allured him in, he opened his eyes to see that person sitting on his side. but his head is too heavy to actually perceive that blurry vision in front of him.
Shinpu—!?
Who else would have the same face and can mimic the same voice of his lord if it wasn't him?
But his body didn't react, it didn't guard up. That person directed his focus away as he put his hand on Gatekeeper's hand that was holding that glass, taking away that refilled glass and drinking it, leaving Gatekeeper just stunned. The familiar gentle and elegant gesture from that person made Gatekeeper just let him do whatever he wished.
“... Isn't this one too strong? You really need to take good care of your body more Monban. Remember? I need you to always be fit by my side. I don't like it when you are hurt or lost yourself like this”
“...” he would say that. He wants me to always be ready to pull the trigger for him. He hates it when his belongings get hurt by someone else and rendered useless outside his control.
It's not love… it's not kindness…
“Come... Let's go home Monban”
that person stands up in front of him, allowing himself to get close to Gatekeeper. The cold fingers that are now ungloved lifted up Gatekeeper's chin, forcing him to slowly look up. “... My Lord…?” The vision becomes apparent as that person stands so close to him. It's the same face, the same warm smile that is always capable of locking down his focus now looking down on him. Unconsciously, he leaned his cheek to those fingers, yearning to feel that presence. “...you… are here?”
A chuckle escaped from that person’ s lips “Perhaps …? But what's clear is that we need to bring you home.” His thumb touched Gatekeeper's lips, gently caressing it then slipping into that lips, evading, playing with his face as if Gatekeeper is simply his belonging. But that act calmed Gatekeeper, it's always, always ground him down. “I'll give you a reward more fulfilling than wasting yourself here.”
Rewards… needs… gifts… care… praises… punishment.
Staring at that warm smile, hearing his sweet voice, Gatekeeper more than aware how each of those words and acts are nothing but calculated moves. His lord knows, how to ground him down, how to lift his motivation, how to ease his heart, how to freeze that guilt . How to make full use of him. There was never such a thing called kindness or love, there was only order, treat and punishment folded in sweet words and gentle touch.
But this person…
“... Monban…?” He could hear that voice calling him again, pulling his attention back from the reminiscing of the past. Though as soon as he opened his eyes, he saw that face coming closer. Touch of those gloveless fingers keeping him steady in his place as that person leaning down so close to his face. “... Don't you miss me?”
“!?” their lips find each other. It's sweet, and tastes like alcohol itself.
—It's strange.
Unfamiliar touch.
Gatekeeper stunned, he didn't react to every push that person did to explore his mouth. But his whole body knows this is not it .
!!
In a split second, he suddenly smashed that head kissing him on the table.
Yes. The kiss returned him back to his senses.
That loud noise froze the moment of people around him. Even the bartender comes to approach trying to ask what is wrong. Some others are helping that person which probably already passed out from what Gatekeeper did.
Gatekeeper stood up, leaving money on the table with perhaps a little wobble at first. But he managed to stand up properly. He also threw money at that poor man before he left the bar. He knows better than letting out his identity here of course. The security might try to catch him to no avail as they just get thrown to the wall when they touch him.
Did someone really spike his drink?
He didn't know.
He just knew, despite all other rewards and punishment, the things his lord has done to him are far from being an intimacy .
After all,
His Lord would never kiss a dirty, black shadow like him.
.
“Let him be…” after Gatekeeper left, the man with short orange hair showed up from the back room of that bar— yes, he is Shinpu who has been living as Akehoshi for years. He dismissed the security guard who tried to go after Gatekeeper while his people are ensuring others enjoy the night while some others are picking up the man who kissed Gatekeeper earlier from the crowd and made him stand in front of Shinpu
Watching the fine look of what his skills can do surely put a smile on him, people of this generation might not recognise that scandalous face of Godfather as his tale and identity becomes a taboo to be talked about. But alas, it made Shinpu able to play with Gatekeeper using just a random man who he turned into Godfather.
Just how desperate you are for him, Monban?
“I got what I needed and a good laugh. I've warned you not to kiss him right? You just reap what you sow” Shinpu laughed, slapping that brown envelope to that fake Godfather “you're lucky he didn't pull out his gun”
“... The mood becomes like that Akehoshi-san… I thought he would be more intoxicated ". That man whined, his head was still spinning and there was no doubt he could hear ringing from inside his head after Gatekeeper smacked him to the table. “That way we might be able to kidna—” he didn't get to finish his words because Shinpu just choked his neck, lifting him up with those dead eyes, clenching his neck like he wanted to choke the life out of him.
How dare you mention that bitch name.
“... don't call me that here. I told you” he looked at his other subordinate and threw that man to them “he pissed me off. Clear him up”
“Yes sir.”
.
It was a miscalculation—or perhaps it's more correct to say that he just didn't think it through. With SS qualifying round ends, what's left is just preparation for the finals. But the ES staff and idols are busy celebrating Christmas day, making SS preparation quite stretched. Of course, Gatekeeper himself had tons of other work as the war of turf somehow sparked underground because of the loose ends. When the war of turf finally comes to end, he ends up sniffing the whereabouts of that lost dog who pretends to be God—or ghost of the God’s lover, whatever the delusion Shinpu was on. Because of that, he thought It wouldn't hurt to visit the old bar where he and His Lord would visit in his young age. Dismissing all the self awareness screaming back at him that the bar most likely already under Shinpu’s control.
Or maybe … he let his guard down because he just wants to feel things too and walk to the snake’s trap fully aware what it is.
He doesn't know.
Without his lord's order, his life has been filled with steps of guess and belief on what his lord would want him to do. Though for sure, his lord would never want Gatekeeper to do something stupid like earlier.
After the escape, he went straight to the car that he took from Ibara's apartment. His head was still spinning hard. He doesn't even know why he is sitting on the passenger seat instead of the driver seat—it's not his fault. It's been so long since he has been driving by himself in Japan—but he is too lazy to move to the other side so he just locked the car. He needs to sleep this off if he doesn't want to get into an accident.
Can't call anyone with his phone gone.
Did Shinpu pull a stupid prank like that just to steal my phone? — stupid. There is almost nothing he could find there as Gatekeeper barely uses it.
Just when he finally got to close his eyes, the window of the driver seat was being knocked. He raised his eyebrows, wondering if it's the same guys picking a fight. But without his answer, the car door suddenly unlocked and the door opened. In split second he pulled his gun, only to see the familiar blurry image greeting him
My lord…?
Again…?
Is the drug effect still hovering…?
Why do people keep messing him up by appearing like his lord!? —
“Oi… quite joking” the voice? It's different. That man closed the door as he got inside and started the car like it's the most natural thing to do. “You know I don't appreciate the gun joke, right, Ojisan? now will you turn that down”
Ojisan…?
Gatekeeper squinted, trying to be more focused on what he saw. That man looked much younger, with the natural hair colour that was always used as a disguise of his lords when he was younger. The eyes staring back at him were not golden. It's bright sky blue, although gentle, he could feel that man pulling the gun away from his hand is sharp as usual
“I don't know what happened but you look like a mess.” When the car engine started, that man asked him again “should I drive you to the mansion? Unless you booked hotel whole time you're here”
“Ibara …?”
“Yeah. Nanatane Ibara here” a little scoff from the other side.
The familiar tone made him relax his tense. Stupid jokes only they would use…
Gatekeeper sighed and pulled down his hand that froze even after Ibara took the gun from him. “... How did you get here?" He didn't need to wonder about the strange way to read their family name or how Ibara was even able to open the car. The car is technically his… and that name was simply how Ibara read it when he gave it to him. Strange and funny code they use with each other.
“I was around. Kitayama-san received a call from your people asking if he was with you. Your phone turned off to no avail …” he stared at his watch before he focused back on the road, leaving the city. “30 minutes ago. And your last location was around here. Well I know my car when I see it”
How convenient… he doesn't bother to ask Ibara why he is outside at 3AM. But he sighed in relief, finally resting his back to the seat “Mansion, if you don't mind…” it's a long road, but, he needs it now
Ibara stared at him for a sec, as if he knew why Gatekeeper demanded that “... Fair” unusual for a man who prefers to do everything himself. Just what on earth happened?
“...”
The ride felt slow. His lord’s mansion is located far from the city after all. He actually uses hotels around ES while he is still working with the SS administratif. But since Ibara offered anyway, might as well.
There was barely any conversation during the ride. Ever since Ibara focused on his business, they never actually speak that much with each other. Not his fault, it was Gatekeeper who pushed him away and let him stand by himself. And Ibara never begged for help. Even at those worse times. He could only hear the story from other staff while holding back himself from doing intervention because Ibara never asked for help.
He turned his gaze to Ibara driving there. The little boy he picked up from that Military facility surely has grown so much. No more curious eyes, excited to find a new thing, he simply looked so serious, and dependable. If there is anything his lord wouldn't do for as long as he remembers is to drive the car himself…
Well, he had him and their drivers.
“When did you took your driver licence?” he noticed Ibara is copying his driving habit to just hold the steer with one hand
“took the exam in advance, I smoothed the process but did the rest manually. Certain someone decided to stole My commander for a strange mysterious study of Godfather in the basement and forbid me to visit at all.” He is sighing, Gatekeeper scoffed, so it still annoyed him huh? “So I got plenty of free time to get it…”
“...”
“So much for a late birthday gift,” Ibara added, pointing out how Gatekeeper kidnapped Nagisa from him after his birthday.
Gatekeeper laughed. “Don't be so sulky … you're the one who left him there all alone”
“I was getting back up . Who knows how much people you prepared just to keep us down”
That after laugh turned into scoff “You really thought I'd betray you?”
“You were in fact locked him up… you also made a strange demand to adopt him back to the family. I've told you that I'm the one who found him first. Therefore, He is mine”
Bold. A little too bold compared to his lord for sure. Godfather was always assertive but he tends to do it with his action and steer of control. Gatekeeper smiled and just closed his eyes with the back of his arm. He has no intention to defend himself.
It perhaps seemed like an act of betrayal in Ibara’s eyes. Can't fault him for thinking like that.
But it does, stings a little.
His decision to take Ibara into the family was definitely far from something his lord demanded of him. It was simply a desperate measure to find something that can keep him grounded. Of course, all this time he is already used to working alone, away from his lord. Unlike Shinpu, he didn't spend his time being by His Lord’s side all the time because of the numerous business behind the surface that he has to take care of. That's probably what keeps him grounded despite losing his lord. But after reaching where he is now, not having something—someone who ground him to the floor does make it hard for him to simply stay alive.
For himself.
While he never forces Ibara his service or loyalty, deep down he has made Ibara his priority. Odd, perhaps, knowing Nagisa-sama was the heir who lived with his lord for a long time, and yet, there was no intention from him to take him back to family after knowing he was taken by a good family after that. He didn't know whether it was a sentiment to see him obtaining his own freedom or his lack of confidence to be able to lead Nagsia the way his lord would wish him for. In the end… the irony of fate brought him to Ibara.
Ibara might be on edge about the punishment of the order he gave to Nagisa but to be real, the whole thing about SS and its order felt more like a joke under his breath. As he was simply fishing the bigger junk from that sea of dead industry.
> HiMERU Order : Don't wear makeup
Inside joke within this fucked up family. Obviously, That older Tojo kid still wore the necessary makeup to keep his face looking like his step brother. In the end, he didn't even bother about the order knowing who made it up.
Sick… Twisted… Ridiculous.
Ibara, Nagisa-sama, Tojo… even that Akehoshi’s kid that technically almost has zero relation to His lord. This stage of SS final is going to be filled with so much pawn for Shinpu to use. As if it's meant to be the grand stage of his return. But he has promised—to himself—on the oath of his loyalty to his lord, that he will not make it happen.
At the very least, what he can do as the only one being left alive is to let the dead morning star rest in peace along with all his lord's legacy.
“Ojisan…” — given there was no response, Ibara thought Gatekeeper had fallen asleep.
“... Hm?”
He'd leave Gatekeeper to rest as he wasn't interested to know the mess revolving around him earlier but there is something else he needs to say. “... I don't know what it is you are planning with His Excellency. I know both of you are hiding it from me. It's fair. If that is your and his decision. But I won't promise to not interfere if things go out of hand.”
Yes. Ibara knows something is going on behind him. In those days Nagisa stayed underground alone, something in him changed the moment he left. But Nagisa never speaks to him about anything even until now and Ibara is not someone who would pester unless they seriously needed him.
Although seemed faint, Gatekeeper noticed the frustration in Ibara's words. His grip on that steering wheel hardened. Perhaps the failure of himself from protecting Nagisa is still hovering in his heart. No matter how good or meaningful that outcome was, it didn't erase the fact that he has deemed himself incapable of protecting Nagisa alone that he has to leave to grab a back up. — what a perfectionist brat.
“Why don't you stop him or just interfere already…?” It was Nagisa's decision to keep Ibara out of the loop but Gatekeeper agree that this is the best way
Ibara steals a glance at Gatekeeper, a little wondering if that question is just a tease or not. Though the face Gatekeeper made didn't seem to be one “If he decides I don't need to know then I simply believe it's the best for me to not know. His Excellency might seem like that but he is more than capable to decide things on his own.”
“...”
“Besides… you'll be with him.”
Gatekeeper scoffed “Didn't you easily think that I'd betray you?”
“Yes” he didn't miss a beat “I don't trust you to follow what I wish for. But I can at least trust you on his protections. He is the kid who you have been protecting since very young. With words of your lord, I'm sure your body is trained to take a bullet for him”
Listening to how serious Ibara said it made him laugh instead. Well. He isn't wrong about that. “...just focus on the competition…”
Ibara sighed and rolled his eyes “I only have a bad feeling about it. Thanks to you” he gave an envelope to Gatekeeper. Giving up on the idea of talking about that. He didn't know what plan Nagisa and Gatekeeper have, he just knows if he tries to stop them, there is a big possibility they would just end up fighting because of the difference in priority. He'd just swallowed it. Everything about this year’s SS was already unusual from the beginning.
Love letter is definitely not something Gatekeeper expected to get from Ibara — clearly, it is not a love letter. “What is this…?”
“Christmas live… for my shuffle unit”
Gatekeeper stared at him, scoffing “what? Don't tell me you are going to play a …” a pause as he can’t recall what that white bearded man called.
“Santa claus?” — he laughed, “I guess. Just come and watch you’ll know the truth”
Gatekeeper opened the envelope and looked at the two tickets, raising his eyebrow in confusion, why two?
“You can bring your date too if you want”
He raised his eyebrows, it’s been years and Ibara is still at it . Though the date wouldn't be overlapped, Gatekeeper can't predict what's gonna happen after the starlight festival. “I can’t promise to be present.” He knows something is going on as he sees Anzu talking about her, wanting to see Negi on the stage of that starlight festival. If that's where they will show up, he would need to protect that place.
“I know.”
He knows?
“You don’t like watching idol live…”
Well… that's not wrong.
At least that means he isn't implying that he knows about the potential of Shinpu’s plan. Ibara is barely aware of his existence after all, Gatekeeper wants him to be away from all Priest schemes. “I’ll be busy around that date”
“Underground work?”
“Something like that…”
“Well it will be streamed on TV so … just watch if you wanna” he laughed “I'm going to be the santa for the bad kid as well”
“…” — Why do you have to take after me … brat. — how dare Ibara say things he would say. He didn't hate that. It's just uncanny to hear. If he may take a little credit. Perhaps Ibara's view of the dark world changed because of him. To forgive, to give chance even for those who have lost their chance and seen as nothing but mud. Gatekeeper smiled, perhaps proudly. “I'll try to watch it”
📳
“Ah…” Ibara slowed down the car as he answered the call. “Yes, Your Excellency…? The party is finished and I'll return to the apartment soon… Well I thought you don't want me around that much since you've been ignoring me for two weeks already”
Gatekeeper scoffed and Ibara glared at him — well he can't say much about all the plans they have to take priest down, so does Nagisa.
But somehow he is glad Nagisa really means what he said. It put him at ease that Ibara's position has yet to be revealed for Priest.
As they talk, the conversation takes odd turns here and there. Perhaps it's because of Nagisa's attention span but Gatekeeper finds himself enjoying all the response Ibara throwbacks with no problem.
It feels like he is taking a peek at their normal days…without all these problems.
The calls start to become a soft lullaby that allows Gatekeeper to fall asleep. Odd. Even though they are only talking about mundane things that simply feels like a normal couple banter, Gatekeeper didn't find himself annoyed. The little jealousy tone from Nagisa and Ibara's calm reply to handle it all feels funny to hear. Like a background noise he missed.
Perhaps that simple moment of them being there, thinking about each other, protecting each other while trusting each other's decision feels like a happiness he would never gets to touch. But he is sure that it might be why he wished for it to last...
My Lord…
You may hate me for letting your beloved son be tainted and never picking him back, despite knowing where he was. But I believe the life he is living now is the life that put a genuine smile on his face. I don't think I would ever be able to give him that for him. So I'll simply watch over him from the side.
Regardless,
I'm well aware for this sin, knowing fully of what you wished for him. Your words has always been engraved in my body and mind. Yet here I am, letting him coloured himself in his own way. Perhaps even in the darkness you hate, despite bearing one yourself.
I'll take any punishment you'd bestowed on me when I returned to your side. But just for this moment…
I pray for you to allow me to see their happiness through.