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Mac had made his decision; he’d let Danny go.
It was the right thing to do, but all decisions have consequences. For Mac, it’s regrets, accompanied by memories of what will never happen again.
He rubs himself through his boxers, thinking of all the times Danny showed up at his door, too wound up to talk, but letting Mac know what he needed. With them it was never about the words.
It was crazy and dangerous; he should be relieved it’s over. Instead he replays the scenes over and over, wondering what he’ll do now.
Probably a lot of this.