Chapter Text
Timing is a bitch, they say.
When Oliver met Ryan he felt an instant connection. Oliver was excited and intrigued when he heard the show was bringing a new guy after season 1, a guy that would play someone Buck would be threatened at first but soon would become his best friend, and he recognized the guy's name, “Ryan Guzman”, because he had auditioned for the role in The Boy Next Door but Ryan was the one who got it.
After meeting Ryan, Oliver understood why he got the role. He is not only incredibly good looking, but he is charming, funny and charismatic. He is also a good person, a good listener, focused and determined. He is into photography and art. They get along greatly, they have the same sense of humor and a lot of fun in between takes.
Oliver almost forgets what it was like to film season 1 without him. When the new season starts to air, the fans fall in love with Eddie, go insane with his chemistry with Ryan and Buck and Eddie's friendship. Soon buddie becomes a huge thing for 9-1-1 online fans. They become really close. All the cast are friends and get along greatly, but especially Oliver, Ryan, Aisha and Kenny. They go out together, they have dinners, they travel together. Even their girlfriends become close friends. For a while everything is great.
Until Oliver’s relationship with Hannah starts to crumble slowly and he starts to realize his feelings for Ryan are different from how he feels about the others. He loves to spend time with all of them, but he and Ryan find an excuse to be together at least every week, even when they are on a hiatus from filming. A lot of times when they go out with their girlfriends they get lost in their own little world and he even forgets they are there. He realizes he hates when someone else takes Ryan’s attention from him and starts to resent Chrysti for the times when he invites Ryan for something and he can’t go.
He always knew Ryan was gorgeous and he felt physically attracted to him, but realizing he actually has feelings, romantic feelings, for Ryan changes things. Even though his relationship may not be doing so well, he still has a girlfriend, and Ryan has a fiance and small toddler.
As if it’s not enough, they play two codependent best friends on screen who co-parent a child. They have most of their scenes together and the fans keep insisting Buck and Eddie should get together. Oliver agrees with that, he always embraced the headcanons of Buck being bisexual and Buck and Eddie together feels right. But his romantic feelings for Ryan complicate things a lot. He doesn’t know what to do. He just knows it isn’t right with his girlfriend, so he breaks up with her.
The thing is Oliver can feel he is not alone in this. He could see since the beginning that Ryan was attracted to him too. They are both good looking guys in their late 20s and early 30s. He never put too much thought on that, they both had somebody else. But now that he is paying attention, he can see it: the way Ryan smiles at him, how he touches him all the time, how Ryan calls him “pretty” and how soft he is with him, unlike with his other male friends. But Ryan has a fiance and a small kid, so Oliver understands it’s not easy for him either. Neither of them says anything and they keep being best friends.
-
One late night of shooting, Ryan invites him to his trailer and Oliver follows him, nothing new there, but Ryan seems happier and lighter than Oliver’s had seen in a while. Oliver automatically smiles at him and raises an eyebrow, like asking what?
“I broke up with Chrysti.” Ryan says, after sitting on the couch.
It caught Oliver by surprise “I am sorry?”
It feels more like a question than a statement and Ryan laughs. Oliver laughs too, then continues “What happened?”
“Nothing. It’s just… Everything happened so fast with her, you know? We got together for a few months, she got pregnant and I proposed. It felt like the logical next step to make, what I should do at the time. But It’s been a while since I’m not sure if it was the right decision. We have been fighting too much. She seems to want a type of man that I’m not.”
Oliver nods and tries to sound as sympathetic as he can. “If this relationship wasn’t making you happy anymore, it was the right thing to do.”
Ryan looks intentionally at Oliver “and if I really loved her, I wouldn’t have all these feelings for you”
Oliver wasn’t expecting this outcome. He can’t deny he was happy with Ryan’s relationship ending, it’s been some time he noticed Chrysti wasn’t making Ryan happy, but he wasn’t about to say anything. Especially because he knows he isn’t the most neutral person to talk about her. He was ready to be patient and to be the supportive friend Ryan needed after a break up.
Ryan is looking at him expectantly “So?”
He finally recovers, and he is sure he is blushing like a tomato, but he says “I guess it was obvious that this, a relationship, is where we have been heading the whole time. I just wasn’t expecting for you to acknowledge so soon after your break up.” Then Oliver smiles blindingly and continues. “I’m happy you did though.” Oliver holds Ryan’s hand and Ryan smiles back at him.
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot since you broke up with your ex. The thought of you and me feels right.” Ryan says, squeezing Oliver’s hand lightly.
“It does feel right.” Oliver finally learns and kisses Ryan.
It’s just a light brush of lips at first, but Ryan opens his mouth and all the desire they been holding comes to the surface, soon they are kissing open mouthed, sliding their tongues against each other, wrapping their arms around each other tightly. Ryan tastes fucking amazing. They break the kiss enough to take each other’s clothes off and Oliver climbs into his lap, desperate to get as much as physical contact as he can. Oliver wraps his hand around both of their dicks and, after a while, they come almost at the same time, Oliver buries his face into Ryan’s neck and Ryan arms tighten around him. They stay like this for a few minutes cooling off.
-
The next month is amazing. Ryan and Oliver already spent a lot of time together, now they basically spend all of their time together, unless Ryan is with his kid. They go to the gym together, they walk with Oliver’s dogs, they go into hikings, they cook together, they sleep and wake up together. He convinces Ryan to become a vegan. And Oliver is happier than he’s been in longer than he acknowledged.
Oliver knew for a while about his feelings, but he never wanted to name it, because it feels too scary when their situation was too complicated before, but now it feels safe to admit: he is in love.
And he is pretty sure Ryan is in love with him too. It’s the way Ryan does or says the dumbest things to make him laugh, the way he curls up in his chest at night, how he smiles sometimes and looks so smitten at Oliver after they make love.
It feels like they've been dancing around each other since the beginning, but it wasn't the right time.
Ryan looks at him curiously from across the room where he was filming, he probably figures out Oliver is up to something, but Oliver just smiles and goes back to his trailer. He will say it tonight.
The shooting ends up going later than he expected, they both go home exhausted, order some food and pass out. Oliver wakes up the next day, sees Ryan sleeping peacefully in his chest and remembers what he was supposed to say yesterday. In the daylight like this it feels even bigger.
“I love you” Oliver says, while running his hand lightly in Ryan’s hair.
Ryan replies a very sleepy “what–”
“I love you” Oliver repeats
Ryan seems to finally wake up, looks up at him surprised, before kissing him hard “I love you too”
-
Everything is going on perfectly for a while, until one day Ryan comes back from a visit to his son looking devastated. Oliver, who was finishing his work out, immediately goes to him.
“What is wrong? Did something happen with Mateo?”
Ryan starts to cry and buries himself into Oliver’s arms. Oliver tries not to freak out, but he let Ryan take his time.
When Ryan's finally pulls away, eyes puff and red. Oliver knows there is something very wrong.
“Please, say something. You are starting to freak me out.”
“Chrysti is pregnant again.”
Fuck, this can’t be happening. They were doing so well.
“It was from before we break up, I wouldn’t–”
“I know that.” Oliver doesn't even let him finish.
“I love you…”
Oliver stays silent, he dreads to think where this is going.
“... but I can't leave Chrysti pregnant like this. I can't leave a baby like this.”
Oliver sits on the couch of his living room, putting his head in between his hands. He could argue that Ryan doesn't need to be with her to be a good father for this baby, but he knows Ryan would feel terrible. Being a father has always been a priority to him, his conscience would eat him alive.
Ryan sits next to him and takes a deep breath.
“I'm so sorry.”