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Four days back and Arizona was getting into a routine. After spending the last three evenings in her wheelchair too tired even to manage crutches she’d come to the conclusion that trying to act exactly as she had before wouldn’t work out. She couldn’t run from Peds to the Pit any more and it would be a while before she could manage anything over a four hour procedure—and really four hours was pushing it too.
If she wasn’t careful she was going to be stuck doing appies and procedures on tiny babies for the rest of her career.
But the bright side was that after that first day no one was quite so wary around her at work. Nurses treated her as usual. So did Alex—not even bothering to offer to let her scrub in on his procedures and just letting her know that Yang was handling some cardio peds cases instead of asking if she wanted them. She’d been thrown back to the wolves—so to speak and she couldn’t quite figure out if that was fantastic or annoying.
The only thing she did know was she was exhausted and her whole body ached. It was like she’d been running a marathon every single day. Callie had to have noticed but after pushing Arizona to come back to work she probably wasn’t going to push her to take a little step back. And Arizona would smack her with her cane if she tried.
Instead on her fourth day Arizona scheduled herself for an hour lunch at midday. Used to she’d catch lunch whenever—the only scheduling being to make sure she saw her wife and/or Sofia. Now she needed the break so she could go into a room and take off her prosthetic and rest her legs.
So she did just that. Avoiding the attending lounge and the usual conference rooms she made her way to a fifth floor on call room that rarely saw use by anyone in surgery. It was too far out of the way for the interns to use it for rest and the residents and attendings avoided it because it still had the cheap old beds and a busted couch that could get to third base if you sat on it wrong.
Fortunately Arizona knew exactly how to set her weight on it to avoid fondling via spring. She was getting good at knowing her body and how to settle her weight. It used to be unconscious but with a prosthetic she had to retrain everything and sometimes make very conscious demands of her body.
She hitched up the leg of her scrubs—now a size bigger to hide the belt for her socket—and pulled her leg and socket off. Cool air hit the sock and sweaty skin beneath and she sighed loudly.
She would just rest for a little bit.
She hung her legs off the couch armrest and laid back on the center cushion. An errant spring poked the back of her head but if she twisted her neck just so she could almost get her head to rest on the spring instead of be poked by it.
She closed her eyes for a second and just enjoyed the peace. Yeah, her stomach was rumbling and there was a vague sense of disappointment in herself for even needing the break, but the break itself was so nice she could push that aside and just enjoy.
Until someone ruined it by opening the door. She sat up on her elbows and reached out out of reflex to cover her residual limb, but paused when she saw the stricken Callie in the door clutching a salad from the cafeteria and a bottle of green tea.
“Oh,” she said, “Sorry I was just—“ She held up the food as explanation. Her dark eyes were wide still with shock and a mix of shame that she seemed to carry half the time she looked at Arizona. But she wasn’t really looking at Arizona. Ostensibly her eyes were focused on Arizona’s face but she was trying so hard not to look elsewhere—like at her legs—that she was more looking through Arizona.
She motioned at the prosthetic lying on the floor. “I was just taking a break.”
To anyone else it would have been a dreaded admission of weakness. She would have felt miserable the rest of the day and probably taken it out on Callie when she got home. But it was Callie standing across from her and she was still so nervous there in the doorway.
“My, uh, cushion isn’t too comfortable though.” She nodded to the spot where she’d been resting her head.
Callie seemed to think about it a moment before shutting the door and coming over. She motioned to the same spot and Arizona sat up enough for Callie to sit down, then let her head settle in Callie’s lap.
Callie fidgeted though. That spring probably not nearly as comfortable under her ass as it had been under Arizona’s head. “Oh this is that creepy couch,” she muttered.
Arizona just smiled and closed her eyes again.
“Did you eat lunch yet?”
“I’ll catch something later.”
“We could share. My salad is—“
Arizona patted her knee. “It’s fine. Really.”
The silence that spread between them was almost companionable after that. Callie ate her salad and would periodically chew abnormally slowly, like she was trying to make the process quieter, and Arizona kept her eyes closed and enjoyed the feel of the firm thigh she was using as a pillow. Her thumb traced nonsensical patterns over the fabric covering Callie’s knee.
It was peaceful.
“How’s the plan for Derek’s hand going?” Callie snorted and Arizona cracked open one eye to peek up at her. “Not good?”
“He’s on a rampage trying to shut down Meredith’s nerve recruitment thing.”
“The sisters.”
“The sisters. Which I don’t even get. I mean, Aria and I aren’t the Wonder Twins or anything but if I needed her nerve to operate? You’d bet your ass I’d call her.”
Arizona frowned. She wasn’t crazy about Aria. She’d met her once, talked on the phone with her only a handful of times and the woman couldn’t even figure out a way to make it to their wedding to see her little sister walk down the aisle. But she wasn’t about to tell Callie her sister was a jerk.
“Though it has been fun watching that weird intern squirm. Which has been happening a lot.”
“Weird intern?”
“That one that was on Alex’s service the other day.”
Arizona scowled. The chair stalker. If she had one nemesis in the hospital it’d be that intern.
Okay, maybe not nemesis, but she was still excited about having her on her service eventually so she could rag on her for hours. It was one of those things she looked forward to, like going home and sitting on the couch with Sofia tucked between her and Callie.
“Not your favorite,” Callie observed.
“She stalked me with a chair. Probably because Alex told her to, which is sweet, but still. Do you have any idea how creepy it is to be quietly shadowed by an intern with a chair?”
“None,” Callie said with a laugh. She set her half eaten salad on Arizona’s chest. “Finish this for me?”
Arizona speared a huge mess of dressing and nuts and berries and what looked like chicken and shoved it in her mouth. “It’s very creepy.”
“Your mouth is full.”
“She was always just there and with those big doe eyes? Like a giant baby.”
“That Karev has probably slept with repeatedly.”
Arizona pointed the fork at Callie, “Not recently though. He’s been very adult lately.” The salad was really good. Good enough that she had to sit up so she could access it easier. Callie helped her by supporting her elbow but then let her hands drop to the wrapper on the bottle of tea. “Did you know he’s buying Meredith’s house?”
“I did. Did you know Meredith is pregnant?”
She chewed thoughtfully. Paused. “Wait. I thought she had some…issues.”
“I mean, it could be a fluke. But Weirdo fielded a call from an OBGYN about an ultrasound.”
“That could be cancer for all we know. Some sort of uterine canc…she’s pregnant.” Who knew a plane crash had such restorative powers on the uterus.
“I figure we confirm by taking her out for drinks. If she goes for the water. Bam.”
“Yeah, but I’m not really crazy about doing drinks with Meredith Grey. About all we have in common is a really unpleasant four day camping trip.” There was a little sneaky mandarin orange under some lettuce and she popped it into her mouth. The fruit exploded all tastily on her tongue. But now she was thirsty. She set aside the savaged salad and motioned to the tea which Callie promptly handed her. “But we’ve got the bridesmaid thingy for Bailey coming up right?”
Callie raised an eyebrow. “Bridesmaid thingy?”
“Like a luncheon or something with her mother. She called the house last week about it.”
“Bailey or her mother.”
“Mother.”
Her wife shuddered, “I have a sneakin’ suspicion Bailey has no idea there’s a pre-wedding gathering.”
“But bright side, it will probably be classy and everyone will have a nice light wine or mimosa and we can spy on Grey without having to buy her drinks.”
Callie didn’t look so convinced, “Is there really a lot of drinking at bridesmaid luncheons?”
Arizona had no idea. She usually wasn’t invited to those. Something about sleeping with the bride/old friend that made people uncomfortable. She handed the now empty tea bottle back to Callie and grabbed her prosthetic. Her hour was nearly up and it would take her a good five minutes to get back to Peds.
“There’d better be alcohol. I don’t think I can stand grumpy Bailey, awkward Grey and a whole mess of Bailey’s family.”
“You can skip it and blame Sofia.”
“And leave you to the wolves?” The socket settled into place and she leaned back so she could kiss Callie on the lips. “Not a chance.”
####
Callie watched Arizona leave the room and then let out all the air she’d stored up in her lungs. She’d been half holding her breath since coming into the room—terrified of who she’d find on the couch. Again it wasn’t the scary empty thing. Again it was sort of her wife.
And she hadn’t even hid her legs from her. Not that she ever really did. For a while all she COULD do was throw her condition in Callie’s face. But she’d been so very blasé and matter of fact there on the couch. And jokey and gossipy. She’s even mentioned the crash without getting terrifyingly dark.
She stood up and turned around to briefly eye the very unpleasant spring that had been digging into her ass for twenty minutes.
Arizona had just invited her to sit. And part of her was afraid it was a passive aggressive punishment thing, but she hadn’t acted super passive aggressive. She’d lightly stroked Callie’s knee and seemed to just enjoy her company.
She chucked the salad and drink and pulled the other half of her sandwich out of her pocket. She’d scarfed part of it down in the elevator on her way up. Arizona hadn’t even suspected her being there on purpose. Just assumed Callie was sneaking into the rarely used on-call room for lunch.
Which she never did. So her wife still wasn’t her wife, because old Arizona would have noticed that. But she wasn’t scary either.
She was someone Callie looked forward to seeing. And one day she’d be that woman Callie missed more than Mark.