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If you’d ask Soobin what’s that one decision he regrets the most, he’d answer in a heartbeat that it was the choice he made a year ago to end things with Yeonjun after five years of being together, but he was convinced that it was also the better choice, believing that it would lead to a better future for the both of them.
A year ago, he was 25 with a decent job and a decent pay, he lives with the love of his life and their child who happens to be a dog in their shared house in the middle of the city. Yeonjun was 26 a year ago, he was in his career prime, always the ever so ambitious and is brimming with future plans.
It was a little too devious how bad he can relate with TS’s song midnight rain, except that he was the one who wanted the comfortable life they already had. Months before the break up, he and Yeonjun would have arguments, “We were supposed to dream big together” he can still hear Yeonjun’s defeated voice when he’s alone in his new apartment.
Soobin was 20 when he and Yeonjun became official, fresh out of college, young and hopeful about life, those typical young adults with big dreams which includes saving the world one step at a time. Yeonjun never lost that big dream he have at 21, Soobin on the other hand realized and seen first hand all the fuckery in this world, no matter how much everyone tries, those below the hierarchy can only try but will never attain the level of comfort that the bourgeoisie have. Life’s unfair like that.
Five years together, he saw first-hand the toll, both physical and mental challenges Yeonjun experienced as he continuously aims bigger goals and dreams. To his resolve, he decided to give up on that big dream and settle for the career he has right now if it means being emotionally and mentally stable to look after Yeonjun.
A shared house in the middle of the city with the love of your life and a spoiled dog, Yeonjun with his current job where he’s being appreciated and compensated well but not without those extra over time and rest day emergency duty, it was already a great life if you’ll ask Soobin, their financial situation was stable, they get to spoil their dog, go on vacations (on planned and approved leaves), not as comfortable as the bourgeoisie but they were doing good. He wanted to just enjoy life as it is but Yeonjun see things differently.
Fast forward almost a year after the break up, Soobin is now sitting at a restaurant with Chaemin, a common friend with a coworker, just a friendly date the other insists. He only agreed because he heard from Taehyun that Yeonjun is still seeing that guy who ended their co-parenting agreement on Haru.
Two months after the break up Yeonjun and Soobin agreed to co-parent their dog, because we are matured adults and I think Haru misses you a bit is what Yeonjun said. He’d pick Haru up from their old house twice a month but that agreement ended when this guy that Yeonjun is currently seeing insisted that it is weird that Yeonjun is still in contact with his ex, not that Soobin is making moves on Yeonjun, it was strictly parents duty. So you see how frustrated Soobin is because it’s been a month since he last saw his baby, Haru. He never tried to learn the other guy’s name and he’ll surely die not knowing it.
“Soobin.” Chaemin calls his name “Do you want to see that movie?”
“Sorry.” Soobin blinks, realizing he’s lost in thought again “What movie was it again?”
“The ide--” Chaemin was interrupted with sharp and loud barks. Soobin looked back to see where the bark was coming from and was shocked to see Haru.
“What the.” Soobin hurriedly stands and picked Haru, his two year old Beagle child. “Baby are you here alone?” He looked around but see no Yeonjun in sight.
“You know this dog?” Chaemin asks, surprised just like Soobin. He knows his child very well, you could put a hundred beagles in a room and he’s truly confident that he can identify Haru immediately.
“Yeah, he’s my dog.” Soobin still searching for Yeonjun “Well, our dog, with my ex.” Haru on the other hand seems happy seeing his dad, giving affectionate licks and sniffing Soobin.
“Uh, I can ask around and see if someone’s looking for their lost dog.” Chaemin offers kindly.
“Thank you but I don’t want to bother you like that.” Soobin actually appreciated the offer but that’s a bit too much, he thinks. “I have his number, I think I’ll just call him.”
“Oh.” Chaemin pauses “Okay, do what you have to do.”
Soobin instructed Haru to seat beside his chair and dialled Yeonjun, the other immediately answered after the second ring.
“Hello.” Soobin speaks first “Where are you right now?”
“Soobin.” Yeonjun says, Soobin was planning on pranking Yeonjun but he heard the worried voice on the other line “Har-- Haru is missing. I-I don’t know what to do.” Yeonjun tells Soobin voice cracking.
“Hey, hey. Haru is with me, don’t cry.” Soobin’s voice softens trying to calm Yeonjun down.
“Please I have no time for jokes, Soobin.” Yeonjun’s voice annoyed.
“Junnie, I’m really with Haru right now.” Soobin switched to video call and showed Yeonjun their baby, Haru. “See, here’s the big baby.”
“Oh god.” Soobin can see the relief on Yeonjun’s face and he can’t help but smile at that “Are you at the City Plaza? Please tell me where are you exactly I’ll go there.” Yeonjun hurriedly says.
“I’ll go there and hand Haru.” Soobin tries to give a comforting smile at Yeonjun “Please try to calm yourself now, Haru’s okay.” Yeonjun nods and gave Soobin his exact locations. From the looks of it Haru wandered around ten restaurants away from Yeonjun’s location, Soobin had to scold the dog while on their way for making his Papa worried.
“Haru.” Yeonjun nearly screams while running towards Soobin and Haru. Soobin was about to hand Haru to Yeonjun but the other crashed onto both of them and gave them a hug while sobbing, it was a brief hug before Yeonjun retreats and collected Haru in his arms like he’s the most fragile thing he ever held. “I’m so sorry, baby.” Yeonjun tells Haru in between sobs, the dog clueless what’s happening but he tried to lick his Papa’s tears.
“I think he was just testing his hunting skills, right Haru?” Soobin says softly “Stop crying now, everything’s okay, Junnie.” Soobin reached out and gently placed his hand on Yeonjun’s nape, offering a soothing touch of comfort. Yeonjun hates to admit but he is really glad that Soobin is here right now.
“Great timing you’re around.” The asshole guy says after clearing his throat looking at Yeonjun and Soobin’s interaction.
“Oh, didn’t know you were here.” Soobin says casually, retreating his hand on Yeonjun.
“Come on, Yeonjun. I’ll drive you home now.” The other tried to reach out to Yeonjun but Haru gave him a deep, repeated, rumbly barks. “Okay, calm down, dog.”
“You know what, just please leave.” Yeonjun says voice pissed.
“Babe, I told you, it was an accident he jumped out of his stroller.” The asshole guy tried to explain
“And you didn’t even bother to look after him.” Yeonjun says frustratingly “I specifically told you to not open the enclosure on his stroller but you did, you knew how important Haru is to me.”
“Well, sorry okay? He’s back now look. can we go?”
“I’ll drive Yeonjun and Haru home, you can leave now.” Soobin didn’t even wait for the other’s response, he grabs Haru’s stroller on one hand and held Yeonjun’s free hand on the other, the three of them walking away from the asshole.
“You don’t really have to drive us home.” Yeonjun now seated at the passenger seat with Haru on his lap.
“I know but I want to.” Soobin glances at Yeonjun for a brief second “and I think Haru missed me.” He jokes.
There was an awkward silence as Soobin drives, it was occasionally broken down by Haru’s barking. This is the first time they’ve been around each other longer than 30 minutes after their break up, usually when Soobin would pick Haru, Yeonjun would just hand him Haru, his bag, and the stroller, sometimes a Hi from Yeonjun if Soobin is lucky.
“So.” They both said in unison after a while
“You go ahead.” Soobin added, encouraging Yeonjun to say what’s on his mind first
“I, well, I want to apologize for loosing Haru earlier.” Yeonjun says almost like in a hurry “I really didn’t mean to, I just needed to go the the restroom so I left Haru for a while with him.”
“Hey, no need to apologize.” Soobin says comforting Yeonjun “It was not your fault, plus Haru’s safe.”
“I know but what if you weren’t there I.” Yeonjun pauses “I don’t know what I’ll do, he’s the only one I have.” Soobin can exactly pinpoint the sadness in Yeonjun’s voice and hearing those last words from Yeonjun felt like his heart being cut open repeatedly, maybe it’s not the best time to talk about feelings while he is driving so he just kept his silence until they arrived at Yeonjun’s place.
He helped Yeonjun carry Haru’s stuff inside the house, the dog asleep in Yeonjun’s arms obviously tired over his little mischievous adventure earlier. They are now awkwardly standing in the middle of their old living room.
“Can I carry him for a bit.” Soobin says motioning at asleep Haru
“Oh, sure.” Yeonjun hands him Haru, the other on deep sleep not budging
“Is he only aggressive towards, you know.” Soobin asks, he tried not to cringe at himself for adding ‘you know’ because he honestly don’t know the guy’s name but Yeonjun understands.
“Looks like it, it’s like Haru has a bad blood with him or something.” Soobin pleased to hear that but he won’t be telling Yeonjun that loudly. Yeonjun on the other hand laughs remembering the first time he took they guy home, Haru barking non stop towards him and attempting to bite, he had to leave after five minutes and never returned, they only tried to meet outside.
“You might need to ask Haru’s approval on your next dates next time.” Soobin jokingly adds but he really mean it, Haru’s approval is needed he can really judge a person’s character and intentions or maybe he’s just being dramatic.
“So you were on a date earlier?” Yeonjun asks
“Friendly date.” Soobin corrects, Soobin had to answer Chaemin’s call earlier on speaker while driving because he forgot to say good bye to the poor guy, the other just wondering if Soobin got home safe and was totally understanding about Soobin leaving him. He wasn’t expecting Yeonjun to bring it up.
“I see, so is Haru okay with him?” Yeonjun asks quietly, as if not wanting to hear Soobin’s answer
“I mean he didn’t bark at him aggressively.” Soobin answers honestly, he looks at Yeonjun but the other just avoided his gaze.
“Right, that’s a good thing, right?” Yeonjun says and forced a smile, he doesn’t even know why he is bringing this topic up.
“I’m not really planning on dating him so I don’t really see it as a good thing that I can benefit from.” Soobin’s gonna go crazy, he’s just blabbering but it was really an honest answer, he just wants Yeonjun to know that he’s not gonna date Chaemin like that. Yeonjun just hums then motions Soobin to give Haru back, Soobin handed the dog back smoothly, they’ve done this a couple hundred times before and it felt like another jab at Soobin’s heart because they could’ve still be doing this everyday if only he didn’t end things with Yeonjun.
“I guess I’ll get going now.” Soobin announces after a while and Yeonjun walks him out of the door.
“Uh, if you still want to continue with the co-parenting with Haru.” Yeonjun looks at Soobin “We can arrange it again, if you want.”
“Oh god, yes.” Soobin smiling from ear to ear, Yeonjun hates how endeared he is still with this punk’s dimples.
“Don’t look too happy, idiot.” Yeonjun blurted out, he was not meant to say that out loud. Soobin also surprised at what Yeonjun said then he just laughs after. “Thank you for today, Soobin.”
“Thank you, Yeonjun.” Soobin also says, he’s not even sure why he’s thanking Yeonjun. Thank you for talking to me today, thank you for trusting me today, thank you for letting me inside your house today that used to be our house, thank you for letting me spend more time with Haru today, thank you for nicely interacting with me today despite breaking your heart and making you feel like shit kinda thank you, he guesses.
Eight months after, both are sitting near Haru’s hospital bed, Yeonjun crying looking at unconscious Haru, Soobin holding his hand trying to comfort him.
“Is he gonna be okay?” Yeonjun says wiping his tears
“Taehyun said he’s gonna be okay, Junnie.” Both sat in silence, that silence was only disturbed when their friend and also Haru’s vet doctor arrived.
“Are you seriously crying right now, Yeonjun hyung?” Taehyun asked in disbelief
“Hey, watch your tone.” Soobin says defensively swatting their friend
“Hyungs, Haru just had his testicles removed and it was a successful surgery, he’s just unconscious because of the anesthesia, he’ll be up in less than 10 minutes.” Taehyun explaining this for the third time to both his hyungs, he is tired of their dramatic asses.
“I know, I just, look at him.” Yeonjun tells Taehyun motioning unconscious Haru.
“He’s fine Yeonjun hyung, he may still feel a bit groggy when he wakes up but that’s normal.”
“Is he gonna get mad at us for having him neutered? What if he looks for his balls.” Soobin says in a serious tone and that was Taehyun’s last straw.
“Respectfully hyungs, please leave and let Haru rest, we’ll look after him and call you both when he’s awake.” Taehyun says while looking at the two, both of them just blinking at Taehyun “What? Go out, do something, go fuck, I don’t know.” Yeonjun looking scandalized at what Taehyun said, face and ears turning red.
“What?” Soobin asks but actually he’s trying not to laugh.
“Seriously.” Taehyun sighs loudly, he’s not getting paid enough to deal with these two “I already knew you two were back together and is screwing each other again, both of you were particularly loud that day.”
“You told me he didn’t hear anything that day.” Yeonjun slaps Soobin’s arm face still red as a tomato.
“I don’t even know if the both of you are talking about the same day.” Soobin smiles smugly, Yeonjun wants to wipe that smile off of Soobin’s face.
“Please go.” Taehyun pleads, Yeonjun mouths I’m sorry to Taehyun and drags Soobin out.
“Can’t believe he knew already.” Yeonjun says while they’re walking outside
“I had a feeling he knew already.” Soobin says still smiling, he reached for Yeonjun and intertwined their hands together.
“But we’re supposed to announce it after Haru’s recovery.” Yeonjun pouts and Soobin wants to kiss him.
“Announce that we’re making sweet love to each other again non stop?” Soobin teases and it was worth it seeing Yeonjun flush red again.
“I need you to shut your mouth.” Yeonjun says but he’s looking fondly at Soobin almost a nostalgic expression.
If you were to ask Soobin about the choice that terrified him the most, he would undoubtedly point to the moment he asked Yeonjun to work on their relationship again. That same day, Yeonjun’s voice was tinged with doubt as he asked, “Are we even doing the right thing?” Soobin honestly and vulnerably replied with "I can't say for sure, but I promise I'll give it my all to set things right this time, we’ll do it right together this time.”