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Time.
Time is a fickle thing.
People often say there’s not enough time in the day to get done what we want to get done. Really? Don’t we all have the same exact 24 hours? Darren sits down on his oversized stuffed couch in his hotel room that he honestly has no recollection of what city or town it’s even in at the moment, and ponders that very question. He’s been traveling so much lately, and with all that’s going on in his friend’s lives, it really made him stop and think. The way Darren looks at it, you can either make time to create the life you want, or spend time dealing with the life you don’t want. Spending time today complaining about yesterday will not make tomorrow any better.
We don’t have the luxury of saying “there’s still time”, or “maybe next time”. In both Darren and Chris’ experience, they understand the concept of the possibility of there not being a next time. Time waits for no one, but it does have a way of showing us what really matters. Darren quickly realizes that he doesn’t need time to think. He knows exactly what life he wants, or maybe he should say who. He’s known for awhile what he needs to do. He’s known for awhile what he wants to do.
….but again, something always happens to interfere with his plans. He often wonders if time is not on his side.
But then Darren realizes time is also precious. And Darren knows exactly what’s precious to Chris. His stories. Chris has always included Darren as part of his stories, even if it has been in the subtlest of ways. Darren often jokes around and says he should probably just change his name to “Charlie”. More people would probably recognize him that way. And that is exactly how he intends to show Chris just how precious he is to him.
Darren decides it’s time….time to put a stop to the madness…to the games…to the monotony of the charades that can be defined as the past five years of their lives. And although that may have defined their past, he’s not going to let that define his future. Their future.
That’s it, he decides.
It’s time.
And so, he reaches over to the coffee table, picks up his pen and paper and begins to plot out Charlie’s wish, the wish that he hopes will lead him to his future.
*2 weeks later*
Darren is back in New York preparing for an upcoming tour. Opening the door to his apartment is much more of a process than he realizes. He’s dropped his keys after his arms become heavy. His stomach is growling. He’s got a two week old beard that he hasn’t shaved and now his face is beginning to itch. His dinner is running down the inside of his take-out bag, and even worse, starting to leak onto his favorite brown shoes.
After finally getting the door open, he kicks it with more force than necessary and almost misses the large brown envelope that had obviously been slid under the door earlier in the day. His breath catches in his throat. He doesn’t dare hope it is what he thinks it is. After staring at the envelope on the floor for at least 10 seconds, he realizes how’s stupid he’s being.
He drops everything on the floor and picks it up. It’s not like his dinner could get any worse than it already is. Darren takes the envelope with him over to the couch that Chris likes to refer to as “the beast” due to its massive size and color. Darren chuckles when he remembers the last time he called it “brown”. Chris had just looked at him with his ever-so-precious sarcastic smile and said “is that what we’re calling it these days?” Darren had just shaken his head and smiled. The sarcastic remarks and wit of one Mr. Colfer were legendary. Focusing back on the envelope in his hand, Darren realizes he’s holding onto it as if it were the most precious thing in the world. Carefully prying it open, he cautiously pulls out four sketches. Darren gasps. He can’t believe what is staring him back in the face. He can’t believe the man has done it, and in record time. After composing himself, he reaches into his back pocket, takes out of his phone, and scrolls through his contacts for the man he had been in communication with almost daily for the past two weeks.
“I can’t believe you got it done so quickly,” Darren says in lieu of a “Salut” with one hand holding his cell, and the other holding four sketches.
The mystery man on the other end of the line softly laughs at his comment. The mystery man, in fact, has gotten quite a few chuckles at Darren’s expense over the past two weeks, with secret phone calls in the middle of the night, odd messages, and even stranger requests. No one can know what’s going on. At least not yet. Especially Chris. Oh dear God….especially not Chris. Darren knows he would kill him. Well...probably. Best not to chance it Darren decides.
“So I take it you approve?” the mystery man asks.
“God…they’re just so…perfect. I just can’t believe it. It’s exactly what I envisioned. No wonder Chris uses you.” Darren said.
“Mais bien sûr” the man laughed.
Darren laughed back. “But of course. But of course. Why did I even question it. So what’s next?”
“Approuvez-vous” the man asked.
“Oh my god, of course I approve. I absolutely 100% approve. I couldn’t imagine anything better.”
“Ok Darren. It will be done.” And the man hangs up quickly.
Darren pulls back and stares at his phone wondering what just happened. Did he really just hang up like that? And what did that even mean? It will be done. Darren just shrugs it off. It’s not like they haven’t had to hang up quickly in the past due to fear of being caught. But this is different. He’s got evidence in his hand. Proof to show that his life is going to change, one way or another, in just a few more weeks.
Darren picks up his cell again to make one more call.
When she picks up, Darren’s face lights up. “It came” is all he had to say.
All screams into his ear. “Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God” she keeps repeating over and over until Darren is laughing so hard he’s got tears running down his cheeks and he’s rolling on the floor.
“Alla stop. You are going to make me pee all over myself.” Darren chuckles.
“I just can’t believe you went ahead and did it. He’s going to kill you when he finds out,” she laughs. Of course, she doesn’t mean it, but she can picture exactly the look Chris will given Darren when he tells him what he’s done.
“No he won’t and you know it.”
“Well Dare, out of ALL the options you had, THIS is the one you chose. Think about it.” Alla says and laughs.
Darren quietly shakes his head with a big smile on his face. He knows there were options. Lots of options. But this….this is personal. This is them.
After quickly saying their good-byes and a brief “let me know how it goes” from Alla, Darren hangs up.
Time to get back to it.
**2 weeks later**
It’s time.
The day is here.
Five years of secrets have been nothing compared to probably the biggest secret of the past four weeks. Darren doesn’t know whether to laugh or throw up. He’s back in LA, back in their house more specifically. Darren had called Chris the night before to tell him he was going to come out the next day to pick up a few of his clothes that he needed for the tour. Chris gave him his usual warnings…” take your allergy medicine, don’t forget to spend equal amounts of time with Cooper and Brian or otherwise Brian will get pissed, etc.”. Of course, Darren just laughed. Chris mentioned a meeting for his potential upcoming Broadway debut (which Darren of course knows is going to happen sooner rather than later), and promises he’ll be home by lunch. To Darren, the timing could not have been more perfect.
When he arrives, Chris has already left. After spending time playing with the Brian and Cooper (yes, an equal amount thank you very much), Darren walks into Chris’ office. He stands in the door way and takes a deep breath. This is it. Darren reaches down into his bag and pulls out a book. He stares at the cover for a moment, takes another deep breath, sits it on the edge of Chris’ desk, and walks away.
It’s done….for now.
The next few hours are excruciating for Darren. He hates to wait. He plays the guitar. Plays with the animals….again. Snacks. Plays the guitar some more, and is about to go run around the block to scream when he hears the garage door open. Finally!
Darren runs out to meet him. When Chris gets out of the car and spots Darren, the relief in his bones is instant. The pressure, fatigue, and overall feeling of loss he’s been experiencing recently instantly lifts. Just knowing he’s there is like no other feeling in the world. He’s home.
After a brief, yet thoroughly enjoyable reunion, Chris tells Darren he’s going to take his files and notes to his office. Chris notices Darren stiffens at this, but Darren quickly assures him he’s ok.
“It’s just been a long few weeks. That’s all. I’m probably going to take a nap soon.” Darren tells him.
“Alright. I’ll come join you in a few minutes.” Chris says.
Darren sits there for a minute when Chris gets up. When Chris begins to walk down the hall to his office, Darren quietly follows unbeknownst to Chris. He wants to see the expression on his face. For better or worse, he’s got to see it.
Chris walks into his office with the goal of hurrying so he can go rest with Darren. However, as soon as his feet hit the doorway, he knows something is off. On the corner of his desk, he sees a book that he knows for a fact he didn’t put there. He begins to cautiously walk towards his desk.
From a far, the images on the front look familiar. “But how is that possible?” he asks himself. That’s not my book.
When he reaches his destination, his heartbeat is erratic and he feels like he’s going to throw up. He picks the book up. There’s no author’s name, no illustrator’s name, no nothing. Just his character’s faces looking back at him with the words “Charlie’s Wish” written at the top. Chris realizes the book is small, only 4 pages. He shakes his head in disbelief. He’s not really sure what’s going on.
He takes the book over to his favorite chair and sits down. He’s scared to open it. Scared to see what’s written inside. His hands slide over the faces of his beloved characters on the front a few times. He’s in such a state of shock that he’s not noticed Darren walking into the room.
Finally, as if by sheer force, he brings himself to turn the cover to the first page. He sees Charlie holding a pocket watch as though he were reading from it. There are no words.
The next page consists of Red glancing over at Charlie, almost as if she’s patiently waiting for him to say something. Patience was never her strong suit. Again, there are no words.
Chris turns the page and lets out a breath he did not realize he was holding. On the third page, Charlie is holding the same pocket watch, but instead, it’s turned around so the face of the watch is visible. Charlie is smiling. The only thing visible on the pocket watch is the date. Today’s date in fact, but Chris has yet to realize that. He’s so entranced by what is happening.
Finally, Chris looks to the right. The last page. Red is holding out her hand as if she’s reaching for Charlie on the preceding page. The words “it’s time” is written next to her. Chris can hear her saying the words over and over and over in his head. But time for what? Chris doesn’t understand.
He’s about to close the book when he realizes taped to the back cover is a small envelope. On the front of the envelope is Chris’ name written in handwriting that he quickly identifies. Tears start to form in his eyes as he shakily reaches to open the flap. There’s a small piece of paper inside that’s been folded up. Taking the paper out and setting the book aside, Chris takes a deep breath and begins to unfold the letter.
Time stands still for Darren, who has yet to be seen by Chris. He sees the tears in his eyes and immediately his own begin to water. Darren watches Chris stare at the words on the envelope for what seems like an eternity. Chris isn’t moving. He’s not even sure if he’s breathing at this moment. Darren decides enough is enough.
“Do you want me to read it to you?” Darren quietly asks.
Chris jerks his head up and tears begin falling down his face fast and furiously. Chris is in a state of shock. Darren is about to panic when Chris slowly hands the letter to Darren and a soft “please” comes off his lips.
Darren accepts the letter and slowly gets on bended knee. Taking a deep breath, he begins to read the words on the paper (which technically he has memorized because he wrote them so many times trying to make it perfect, but Chris doesn’t need to know that).
My love,
From the beginning, I’ve felt like I was living two lives. Both a fairytale and a nightmare. However, not long ago, I had the privilege to meet someone with a great sense of humor, wit, sarcasm, and intelligence. We became friends and the longer we were together, the more irresistible you became.
There are days when I’m a frog, and other days when I’m a prince. Regardless of what person I have to be on any given day, you are there by my side. You’ve transformed me into the man I have become, and the man I want to be.
There have been times when our duties have separated us. We are often taken to far away lands, but you are never out of my mind and my dreams.
I have the deepest respect for your own desires and dreams, and hope you will allow me to help you fulfill them in the future, no matter what shape or form I have to take at the time.
I am so proud of what we accomplish individually, but am even prouder of what we accomplish together. I will do all that I can to keep you as happy as is possible in this world and beyond.
I was recently granted one wish. However, whether my wish will be fulfilled depends on you. So, my love, will you grant me the wish of making me the happiest person alive and becoming my husband so that I can cherish and honor you for the rest of our lives?
Yours truly,
Charlie (aka Darren)
Darren took a chance to sneak a glance at Chris. By this point, his eyes were wide and red. Darren could only pray that he had done enough, but then quickly realized he hadn’t said probably the most important thing of all. With a deep breath, he looked Chris in the eyes.
“I love you.” He said quietly.
A few seconds later Darren finds himself tackled to the floor with a fierce grip by Chris keeping him there. Chris starts laughing and Darren isn’t sure how to interpret his actions.
Darren pulls back the best he can to look in Chris’ eyes. “Well?” he quietly asks. Looking into Chris’ eyes he sees…..hope. Chris has a huge smile on his face, when he quietly replies.
“You used my illustrator for your book with my characters? I think I deserve some type of compensation for that.”
Darren just smiled and replied, “How about I love you for the rest of my life? Now will you please grant Charlie his wish and say you’ll marry me?” Darren begged with his puppy dog eyes and pouty lips.
Chris busted out laughing, throwing his head back in the process. “Looks like Charlie is going to get his wish after all” he says.
Darren smiles back. That’s all he needs to hear.
Time to make plans for the future. Their future.