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Eretria stiffens when she wakes up, when she realizes she was asleep. She wasn’t supposed to fall asleep. She was supposed to wait for Amberle to fall asleep, and then sneak out. But plans involving Amberle never work out the way they’re supposed to.
Keeping her breathing steady and deep, her eyes closed, Eretria inhales the warm, comforting scent of Amberle clinging to the sheets. The other girl isn’t lying next to her anymore, she knows that for sure. Amberle is clingy when she sleeps. It stings, it always does, when Eretria remembers that this is all she’ll ever get with Amberle. Her scent lingering on sheets and clothes, and touches that no one else must know about. She won’t ask for more, though, doesn’t want to hear the rejection. Eretria is a good liar and will lie to everyone but herself, and she knows what she is.
Eretria strains her ears, but she can’t hear the sounds form the city below, making her feel like more than she is for just a moment. All she hears is the ticking of a clock, the whir of a laptop, and the scratching of pencil on paper.
Eretria can’t help her smile when she opens her eyes and finds Amberle curled up in a comfy chair at the foot of the bed, sketch pad resting on her knees, and a small frown between her brows as she concentrates on her drawing. She only has few moments before Amberle realizes she’s awake, so Eretria makes the most of it, drinking in the sight of the other girl. Probably for the last time.
She doesn’t know how Amberle always manages to look so perfect. Even now, with her hair in a bun, still messy from sleep and sex, wearing nothing but her old, high school soccer jersey and a pair of panties. Amberle’s toenails are painted a deep purple that stands out against her pale skin.
Amberle looks up from her drawing and her face breaks out in a smile when their eyes meet. Eretria feels her heart skip a beat and has trouble keeping her own smile contained.
‘Hey, sleepy head,’ Amberle greets her.
‘Hey. What are you drawing?’
‘You.’
Eretria’s raises her eyebrows in question. ‘So you were staring at me while I was asleep? That’s kind of creepy.’
Amberle rolls her eyes, but the smile doesn’t leave her face.
‘I can give you a nicer view if you want,’ Eretria smirks before stretching, raising her arms over her head and arching her back. The sheet slips down just enough to expose her breasts. She feels a small sense of pride when Amberle’s appreciative gaze slips from her face, down her body. Sitting up and swinging her legs over the side of the bed, Eretria starts looking for her things.
‘What time is it?’ she asks, slipping on her panties. She hooks her bra and pulls the shoulder straps in place, then pulls her tank top over her head.
‘It’s almost three. Why? Do you have to go?’ Amberle sounds disappointed. It stings and Eretria almost tells her that, yes, she needs to go, because if she doesn’t leave now, she never will. This is why she’d wanted to slip out while Amberle was asleep, she hates goodbyes. She hadn’t said goodbye to Cephelo, not that the bastard deserved it, and not even to Will, the only friend she made in four years of high school, the only reason she’s not currently living on the streets.
But she doesn’t tell Amberle goodbye, she pulls on her shorts and says, ‘Not necessarily.’ She nods towards the bed. ‘You want to go another round?’
Amberle blushes, but shakes her head. ‘I just thought that, maybe, you could stay for dinner. My grandfather would really love to meet you. And I’m pretty sure my uncles think you’re imaginary with the way you keep slipping in and out of the house unnoticed.’
Eretria freezes, her shoes in her hands. Her mouth opening and closing, her mind grappling for something to say.
‘You want me to stay? For dinner?’ she manages to get out.
‘Yes.’ Amberle’s voice is soft and laced with amusements, her eyes sparkling with silent laughter.
‘With your family?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why?’
‘Because you’re my girlfriend,’ Amberle states. Like it’s nothing. Like it’s not the most amazing and earthshattering and terrible thing she could have said.
‘I’m your girlfriend?’ Eretria chokes out, shoes dropping from her hands.
The amusement fades from Amberle’s face and is replaced by uncertainty. ‘Aren’t you?’
‘I thought-‘ Eretria starts, but she’s not sure how to continue. She glances at the rumpled sheets. She’d thought this was just about the sex. She’d thought that Amberle would go off to her fancy art school and forget all about her. She’d thought she’d been the only who wanted, who felt, more. She’d thought she had to get out before she got even more hurt.
Amberle must have caught her glance at the bed, because her face crumples. She places her sketchpad and pencil on the floor next to the chair and unfolds herself, standing up.
‘Was that all this was to you?’ she asks, her voice shaking.
Eretria doesn’t say anything for a moment. She can only look at this amazing, smart, kind, beautiful girl, who looks like a princess, even in nothing but an old, stretched out soccer jersey and panties.
‘Why would you want me to be your girlfriend?’ Eretria asks. She can’t imagine it. She’s selfish, and often mean. She lies. She gets into fights. She’s a criminal—she hasn’t committed any crimes since she left Cephelo, who’d kicked her out when she turned eighteen and wouldn’t start turning tricks, but her juvie record had been long and diverse. After four years, she still doesn’t know why Will decided to become her friend. Why the hell would Amberle want her as a girlfriend?
The disappointment on Amberle’s face softens as she steps forward. When she’s right in front of Eretria, she takes Eretria’s hands in her own. Eretria looks up at her, and finds Amberle smiling.
‘Because you’re funny, and smart, and spontaneous, and tough, and driven, and kind to those you care about. Because-‘ Amberle takes a deep breath. ‘Because I’m in love with you.’
‘But we’re not coupley!’ Eretria protests. She can’t wrap her head around it. ‘We don’t go on dates, or even hold hands.’
‘I thought you wouldn’t want me to,’ Amberle shrugs. ‘And we’ve been on plenty of dates.’
Eretria is about to protest again, then remembers that the word “date” has definitely been mentioned several times. Quite a lot, actually.
The first time she actually talked to Amberle was in the school cafeteria, halfway through senior year. Cephelo hadn’t given her any lunch money, because she hadn’t brought in enough the week before, hadn’t “earned her keep”, so she only had money enough to buy some orange juice. Amberle noticed and offered to buy her lunch. Eretria was furious, said she wasn’t some charity case. Amberle hadn’t even flinched, simply piled extra food on her tray and told her to consider it a date. Intrigued, Eretria followed her to an empty table for their lunch date. More lunch dates followed. They became friends, of a sort.
Amberle was the first to notice that Eretria started failing classes. That was right after Cephelo kicked her out, and she’d still been scared he would drag her back. At their next lunch date, Amberle declared that Eretria would be coming over to her place for a study date. Not much studying was done that day, or during any of their study dates, but it was the first step to their dates spilling over into the outside world. Eretria started showing up for Amberle’s soccer games. Amberle would grumble at her after getting into another fight, while placing soft kissing on the bruises. They’d go for drives, sneak into movie theatres, tease Will about his ears, which were slightly pointed. Amberle even asked her to prom, but Eretria hadn’t been able to say yes. She wouldn’t have minded Amberle paying for her ticket, but she still wouldn’t have a dress. So she said something about how proms were simply a high school’s way of giving their seniors one last nervous breakdown before they left for college. Amberle laughed and offered alternative plans: a picnic during sunset.
‘Oh,’ Eretria says, mentally kicking herself for not noticing. ‘I like holding hands,’ she adds.
Amberle’s face lights up with a smile and she sighs in relief. Then she pulls Eretria close, burying her face and Eretria’s hair, while Eretria presses her face in Amberle’s neck.
They still have things to talk about, and Eretria makes a mental note to call Will and tell him to ignore the note she left, but they have time.
‘So you’ll stay?’ Amberle asks.
‘Yep.’ Eretria pulls back, a sly grin on her face. ‘Do you think we could convince your uncles that I’m actually imaginary.’
Amberle’s eyes sparkle with mischief. ‘Oh, we definitely can.’