Chapter Text
They came back from the dock sluggishly. A heavy curtain of silence and melancholy followed them after the shock from earlier had passed.
The years of worry that hung over them now felt like a cloud, less noticeable, but always there. The seemingly endless days of waiting for something as simple as a letter took their toll on the group of friends as tight as a family.
Asami got out her keys, and unlocked the door.
She slipped through without a sound as she came into the apartment that she was living in after Mako and Bolin's family started staying in her mansion. Cold and dark, it may not have held any memory's, but it let her get her work done in peace and gave her a place to rest. The letter, which became one of her most prized possessions very quickly, was found almost immediately, and she settled onto the single couch in the room, trying to calm herself down, and trying to stop the tears from welling up.
Telling herself that she'd moved on only works for so long.
The emotions that had been building up for years were let out and the mask she wore during the day cracked and slipped away, tears streamed down her face and she tried desperately not to ruin the letter. She didn't need the one piece of communication she's had for nearly three years illegible due to her inability to handle her feelings.
Pathetic.
She told herself she moved on, as she planned a park, as she designed the wingsuits, as she imagined how they would help the world and Korra. She told herself this even as she threw herself into her work and singlehandedly rebuilt how the city functioned.
She repeated it and it became her anthem. She said to herself late at night, when it was just her and her sorrows, that she'd moved on, she'd come back when she could.
Wishing that she was back was selfish, because she knows it's not her decision to make.
But if being selfish was all it took to bring her back, then she wouldn't care if she were condemned her whole life.
She reread the letter that night until it was impossible to keep track of how many times her eyes scanned the page. She memorized the words, the marks on the page, and the quirks of Korra's handwriting. Until the words moved while she hoped and prayed that this was all a dream, that she would wake up and everything would be perfect in the world and everything with her father would be okay and Korra would be here and she wouldn't feel the way she does now. She's tired and sick and worn down and has long since realized that all she wants, no, all she deserves, is just a bit or peace. Needs solace so that she doesn't have to stop by a park she built herself to be able to sleep at night.
It only took one subtle threat to Raiko about the city's infrastructure suddenly not being built to get it there, a small miracle in her eyes.
Her mind filled with what-ifs and what could be's if the terrible events that happened years ago hadn't occurred, if Korra hadn't been so insufferably selfless. And if the spirits that be had been kind to her for once and stopped taking away the people she loved.
But they were not kind, and did not discriminate on who was hurt. The cold emptiness in Korra's eyes all those years ago told her that.
She woke up to the same cold dark apartment in the morning and dressed for work.
It was not a dream.
Korra was still not there.
///
She came back two months after the incident at the dock. Different hair, different posture, different personality...
But still so very very Korra.
They hugged and exchanged some words. Asami gave an offhand comment that her hair looked snazzy and noticed the blush that spread across her cheeks, but made no comment about it, instead choosing to lead the rest of the group down to sit at the restaurant. Wu tagged along and while she wasn't ecstatic about that, at least Mako got to be with them if the Earth royalty came.
They quickly got into an awkward position when Mako found out about the letter, she doesn't blame him. Korra explained that Asami was the only one she felt comfortable talking to. While Mako understood, his displeasure, even though small, was still obvious. Asami accepted it, knowing she had no right to be upset with him. She would feel the same if it had been the other way around.
Then Asami's father was brought up and the sore spot lingering was brought to the surface, causing her to lash out at Korra. Reminiscing on the moment at a later time, Asami would be amazed that Korra didn't resent her for the argument so shortly after she got back. The argument was quickly resolved when Wu was kidnapped though, and was not brought up until later on, the crisis more important than her upset attitude.
The feeling of being in sync was something she missed so, so, so very much. A car chase, a fight on a train, a hostage situation, years before, she wouldn't have imagined that she would miss it but there she was, coming back into the action like a natural.
Was it wrong to admit that she was grinning on the inside afterwards?
And maybe, when she went to the restroom, she may have let that grin reflect on the outside.
Not that she did a "happy dance" or anything. That would have just been indecent.
She offered to give Korra a ride to the temple afterwards, wanting just that little bit of extra time to be with her, and she was assuring herself that she was indeed here, less than an arms length away from her. And when Korra accepted, she determined that the feeling in her chest was not her heart skipping a beat.
A true smile spread across her face, as she pulled out of Kwong's.
Things were looking up.