Chapter Text
“Are you sure about this?”
The voice behind her startled her. She’d been staring at the small bag she’d packed, what few belongings that she held dear seemed so insignificant after everything that had happened. An already small order of priestesses made even smaller after an illness swept through them. Most had fallen fairly quickly, and she had been unable to stop it. When it came to be her mother’s turn, she poured all of her energy into her healing, desperate to save this one life. “Oh, my darling.” Her mother’s voice had been raspy, weak from the fever. “Have a little faith.”
But she didn’t. She never had, instead shrouded in youth and innocence, her faith never tested nor really enforced. She had lived in a temple, with her mother and group of women who worshiped some goddess that she’d never seen. Part of faith was believing without seeing but Nayeli always bristled when she was told that. Or when she was told that her healing powers were proof of Sune’s gifts, when really, couldn’t it have been her father’s elemental heritage that had something to do with it? Unwilling to dig too deep, for she had loved her life in the temple, she followed the traditions and teachings. Not because she believed but because she loved these people.
And now they were all gone and the one person who knew her inside and out had asked her to have faith. Nayeli had seen the helplessness of the situation, the fear settled deep in her belly and her hands shook uncontrollably. “Please... please don’t leave me,” she had begged through choked tears as she pushed another healing spell through. And then she felt nothing. Not her mother’s life force, not the ever constant presence of love her mother told her was Sune. She was empty. Nayeli had looked down at her mother, the stillness of death already settling over her features, and she no longer was her mother. And Sune, the goddess who did nothing, was nowhere to be found.
“I’m sure,” Nayeli said through gritted teeth, willing for the shivering that had taken hold of her since her mother passed to stop. It was an odd sensation, this cold that had settled in her bones despite the warmth of the day, and the blood rushing through her. “There is nothing for me here, Lata. And nothing for you either. This is an empty temple with empty promises. Sune either doesn’t exist or we don’t matter to her.”
The older woman smiled sadly. “Always so sure, dear Nayeli. How much will you remember when the time comes? Sune chose you, just as she chose all of us to worship her. She has great things planned for you. Your mother-“
Nayeli snapped her swollen eyes toward her and shook her head once, sharply. “Come with me. My family’s estate will have work for us both.”
“My work is here.” A single, raspy cough escaped the woman and she sighed when Nayeli let out a small cry. “Remember, when we are all gone, you are all that is left of this temple. Of our order. Of a love so dear that we gave our lives for it. Don’t turn your back on Sune.”
Nayeli grabbed her bag and pushed past the woman, unable to bear it any longer. She walked, walked until night fell, and beyond.
*
“What will it be for you, girl?”
Nayeli looked up at the barkeep, tiredness setting in her bones like she had never felt it before. Life at the temple had been carefree, and while she had been expected to pull her weight, there had never been a night where she had felt this broken. “Food.” Her voice was hoarse from lack of use and she cleared her throat before speaking again. “Ale. And a room. How... how far is Apasalon from here?”
“A couple days, give or take. We’re one of the inns between mountains. You trekked in all the away across?”
Nayeli took a long drink out of the mug placed in front of her. “From above,” she murmured.
“From... above?” The man’s eyes flickered to her hair, very carefully tucked under a scarf and let out a knowing hum. “Thought that temple was a ruin, truth be told. I told that to the young man who came by a couple weeks ago, asking about it.”
“It is now,” she said mid yawn. “Everyone has fallen ill and passed. Someone was asking about it? A man?”
“Aye. Didn’t say much. Stayed the night and left.”
Nayeli stabbed at the chicken in front of her, chewing thoughtfully. “No one has come to the temple for as long as I can remember.”
“Perhaps he heard of it and thought to ask. He didn’t prod about it, or ask too many questions. My family has been here for ages, we know the importance of guarding that secret.” And with that he pulled out a necklace from under his shirt, the ever familiar symbol of Sune looking up at her.
Tears swam to her eyes. “My bed, if you please?” She pushed the food and ale away, her stomach churching unpleasantly.
She ignored the man’s questioning gaze, waiting patiently while he hollered at his wife to man the bar and followed him up. He opened the door to one of the rooms and hesitated before saying, “Sune’s light guide your path.”
Every fiber of her being burst with grief and rage, torn between flipping him off and meekly nodding her thanks. Instead she lowered her scarf, heard his soft intake of breath as she shook her hair and it’s tips glowed as if lit aflame. “Sune’s light,” she echoed and shut the door.
*
She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting when she reached her mother’s family estate. She knew they were wealthy. The home was a simple but every well placed stone was a very clear sign of their wealth.
Nayeli had no idea what her mother’s family did for a living.
She reached the front door, the smell of flowers wafting through the warm breeze. Her robes fluttered slightly, and she pulled the scarf back up around her head.
“You uh... you gonna knock, or?”
Spinning quickly, she felt her blood rush towards her head and she faced a large man staring at her, amusement clearly on his face. He was tall, built burly, a thick mustache settled over full lips currently pulled back in a smile. “I just got here,” she said somewhat defensively as she lifted her chin up.
“Girl, you’ve been inspecting that door for nearly five minutes!” The man let out a bark of laughter, and thrust out his hand. “The name is Santos. I’m the groundskeeper for the Vivanco Estate.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” she said with a slight tilt of her head. “I’m here to meet with... them.”
He nodded. “How’s your mom?”
Her breath left her in a rush. “I beg your pardon?”
Santos pulled out a rag from his belt and began to wipe his hands. He let out a long sigh, and the smile that was now on his face was tinged with sadness. “You look like her. Minus the creepy red eyes, no offense meant,” he said as he motioned to her eyes. “She was my friend. My father was the groundskeeper before me, and.... well. She and I got into quite a bit of mischief together in our days.”
“She’s dead,” Nayeli blurted out, grief slicing through her heart. “I... she’s gone.”
His eyes slid closed. “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said. His voice was thick and gruff. “Last I saw her she was so... hopeful. She was excited about you. Her parents... well. Maybe time has helped heal that.”
Nayeli’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“Eh?” Santos looked up at her, taking in the confusion on her face. “Ah... well. It’s time... I need to get back to work. Just... know. Know your mother loved you.”
She nodded. “That’s the only thing I am sure about now.”
He opened his mouth as if to say something further but thought better of it, his breath leaving him in a huff before he wandered off. She stared after him, a shiver going down her spine as she pondered his parting words. Unable to think too long on it, she turned back to the door, lifted her hand and hesitated for a second before shaking her own head and knocking. The wood seemed to smoke beneath her knuckles as they rapped the wood but she was relieved to find that no damage was done to the door.
A beat later, it swung open and a slim man dressed in shades of black, white and gray looked down at her, his eyes widening as he took her in. She missed his reaction, having her eyes glued to his clothing, wondering just how much it cost to have a simple employee dress so lavishly. She felt oddly self-conscious in simple robes from the temple, despite how colourful and vibrant they were.
When silence stretched on, Nayeli finally looked up at his face, raising an eyebrow when he continued to stare at her. “Hello?”
That seemed to break the spell. He blinked once, twice, and finally a third time before clearing his throat. “I... welcome. To uh... to what do we owe the pleasure?”
Nayeli frowned, for his voice sounded leagues away from pleased. Have a little faith, the voice in her head that sounded too much like her mother said. She took a deep breath, attempting to smile with what she hoped was charm, before murmuring, “I’m here to see the Lady and Lord Vivanco.”
“Of course,” he sighed heavily. And with that, he stepped aside, and winced a bit as she strode in.
But Nayeli did not notice. The splendor of the home, so very different from the temple she had grown up with, was astonishing. This was glass and wood and dark bold colours. It was wealth, old money that flaunted it without being crass.
It was hard to imagine her mother growing up in this home, when she’d looked so simple and beautiful in her temple robes, her pitch black hair straight down all the way to her back and her smile wide and always there.
Nayeli could not reconcile the woman she had known to the one she now imagined living here.
“Miss, if you would follow me.”
The voice startled her, and her scarf fell down a bit without her noticing. “This is a grand home,” she said softly as she trailed behind him into a large room with books lining the walls. Her interest perked as her eyes roamed the shelves, piled high to the ceiling. She longed to grab some books and read, to curl up by the window and lose herself to the words.
“It has been in the Vivanco family for many generations,” the man said.
She had nothing to say to that. There was no knowledge of her mother’s family, none that could bridge this meeting. And yet, she knew this is where she was meant to be. Knew she had to come here to see the only family she had left, wondering why her mother had never brought her here. She was led into a study with books lining the walls and she felt her fingers tingle, yearning to sift through them, the knowledge they may hold a siren’s call in her body. It was here that the man servant left her, his words muffled in the background as she took a turn about the room, eyes sweeping and cataloging and longing. She could find a home here, in this room, if only she was allowed.
Minutes passed and she found herself shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot before temptation led her to the books, grabbing one at random and dove it.
She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when she finally heard footsteps at the door, her eyes sweeping up and seeing an older woman who looked so very much like her mother that it caught the breath in her chest. It hurt to look at her, despite the sharp cut of her hair, so short and unlike her mother’s. It was a second before she realized that this woman held none of her mother’s kindness, none of the laugh lines on her mother’s face. Had she had any sense about her, she would have heard the alarm bells going off at the back of her head.
Instead, she stood easily, setting the book next to her and inclined her head. She didn’t know what to say next, to this woman who had not bothered to visit her daughter at the temple.
“Why are you here.”
It was not said kindly. The woman’s eyes did not glimmer with the hope of a long awaited reunion. No, they shone with rage, with bitterness as her gaze swept up and down the granddaughter she had never seen before. Nayeli felt ice settle in her heart and for the first time in a long time, she felt truly and utterly alone. Not even her mother’s death had left her feeling so utterly adrift as she did in this very moment. “My… mother,” she whispered hoarsely, hating herself for how weak she sounded. “She passed away recently. The entire order is gone, an illness swept over them and-“
Her grandmother took a step back from her, an elegant hand flying to her nose. “And you’ve brought this illness here? To us?”
Nayeli’s eyes flared and she knew without looking that the fire in them had burned just as bright, if the fear in her grandmother’s face was any indication. “It was not… I don’t think-“
“She left,” the woman hissed. She was nothing like her mother, there was no warmth or love at all in any of her features and Nayeli felt the world crumble away yet again. “Tena made a choice when she chose to lay with that damned genie, her upbringing be damned, and knew what having you would do to our line, to her family, and she did it anyways. She kept you, for all the good it did her and here you are anyways, seeking what? You are nothing to me, to us, you were hers and hers alone and she knew that. I will not be left to tend after some half breed monstrosity. She made her choice.”
Grief roared in her mind as the words sunk in and settled in some deep part of her, her hands curling into tight fists as she took in each and every cut.
Alone, alone, alone. You are utterly alone.
But her grandmother was not done. With a furious step into the study, she cut a hand through the air and lifted her chin as she snarled, “I want you gone. You are nothing to us, you are not ours-“
“I am a Vivanco,” Nayeli said at last, planting her feet in a wide stance as she felt her mother’s blood course through her. The woman who had given every love and care she could possibly give, a woman so unlike the monster in front of her, that it made Nayeli break all over again as she imagined her mother in this hovel. “Claim me, or not, but your blood is my blood and nothing you say can take that away.”
A sharp laugh chilled Nayeli as the woman before her rocked her head back, malice written all over her face. “Is it though? That temple is nothing but a sex filled den. Your mother clearly did not get enough from that genie, had to go to that orgie fest of a religion to be satisfied, for all the good it’s done her.”
The very floor fell away from her, her knees weak as she stumbled to understand what she was hearing. “Sune is the goddess of passion,” Nayeli admitted slowly. Everything thrown at her was happening too quickly, she found she couldn’t breathe without it slicing through her. “But that is not… passion is many things. The temple was never like that, we haven’t had visitors in years. And even then, the pilgrims were not there for…. that.”
Her grandmother snorted. “Say what you will, girl. Passion is passion, and your goddess can rot for the corruption she cast against my child, finished off any goodness that that monster planted in her.”
Sune. Loving, tender Sune who Nayeli didn’t understand but wanted to was being slandered in a way she couldn’t comprehend. Oh, she wanted to rail against every insult this hag of a woman was throwing at her but all she felt was grief so deep, pressing heavily in her heart as she realized she had no home here.
She had no home anywhere.
Orgie filled temple. That’s what this woman thought of her daughter, of her. Something she had never encountered in that temple, not even dreamed of as she had no interest in it. Her sanctuary had been filled with love, but not this perverse and twisted version being spouted at her.
Shutters went down within her, and she felt herself harden in a way she couldn’t control. Let the world think as this ignorant woman thought, passion coursed through that temple, that much was true. But whether it be through lovemaking so strong it brought a goddess’ attention or weaving magic through living life, no one needed to know. She knew what that home had been like, those women a part of her family - one she now knew she would never find again. Silly, foolish girl. Forever a dreamer, reaching for what she could not have.
She raised herself to her full height, her hair flaring as she took a deep breath. Nayeli schooled her face into a cold mask, not much of an effort for when she already felt so bitterly frozen. “It sounds like you could use an orgie or two in your life.” She wrapped the scarf around her head slowly, watching as the other woman gaped at her. Nayeli saw her mother in that woman, she saw herself in that woman and hated it dearly. “Goodbye, grandmother. Sune’s light be with you.”
And without looking back, Nayeli slowly strolled from the study, out of the house, and into the night beyond.
*
The temple was empty, and yet she couldn’t leave. It had been months since she had come come, unsure of what to do next beyond buring the last of her order. Silence was her constant companion and loneliness was not nearly enough a word for what she felt. She found herself walking around the grounds for what felt like the millionth time, her hands trailing on the stone walls while her footsteps echoed around her like a silent of all her failures.
Something within her bristled with annoyance at the thought that somehow her dilemma was her fault. She did not, after all, urge her mother to fall in love with a genie and produce a half breed that belonged to neither world. She did not push her father to abandon said woman and child when the novelty of the mortal world wore off. And she most certainly did not force her mother to uproot her life and that of her child to bring them to a remote temple to worship a god Nayeli reluctantly worshiped, all because her mother’s family would not acknowledge said mutt child.
Idiots. She was better than all of them, elemental power flowing through her veins.
Shame instantly swept through her. Her mother’s face flooded her mind, the look of disappointment that so often flashed across her face as her volatile child railed against both her natures. Her mother had so hoped that her human nature would be more dominant. She’d come from a small noble family that hoped that above all else, this abomination of a child would perish. When that didn’t happen, they prayed that she’d be able to blend in and be a good noble lady.
Fat chance of that, thought Nayeli as her eyes landed on her hands. They were normal human hands, rich caramel brown in colour, just as her mother’s had been. There was not much else her mother had imparted on her - her eyes were almost unkind looking, bright red and almond shaped. But perhaps the most peculiar part of her was her hair - it started off brown at the roots then transitioned into red before the ends looked like living flames. The only way to hide her elemental identity was to cover it up and she had vowed to never do that again, not after that encounter with her grandmother.
And yet…
She could not stay here, alone in a temple that no one visited. She needed to find followers, to bring them here or at the very least find people who would be open to this god. She still thought Sune picked the wrong person, her mother would be better suited for this after all. Still - Nayeli was not without talents and would use them, for her. To keep her mother happy, to keep her memory alive. Her mother had believed in Sune. And she had also believed in her. That had to count for something.
With that final thought, Nayeli grabbed the silken blue head scarf, gorgeous patterns of gold and red with bangles dangling on it, and draped it over her head. Her long hair she had parted into two braids that swung well past her back. The ends, of course, looked as if her hair was engulfed in flames, but it did not matter.
She had a mission to fulfill.
With a final glance at this small temple that had been her home for all her life, and an odd pang of emotion, she turned and set off to the road.
There was a new chapter in front of her. And she was scared. She would not show it.