Archive of Our Own

“Chan please… please just help me understand because-“

Because you didn’t. You didn’t fucking understand. Not even a second of this, of what was so clearly happening.

Chan is stood in your apartment. The one you share.

The two of you.

Together.

The one you spent almost all of your savings on just to get the deposit down on because you wanted to live together, wanted to be together, wanted to start your life together even if it was only a six month lease until you graduated.

So this takes you back to WHY.

WHY is your Chan, your best friend, your boyfriend, the love of your life stood in the hallway of your apartment, a suitcase packed and in his hands, knuckles stark white from where he’s gripping the handle so hard and apologies spilling from his lips.

“I’m sorry.” And Chan’s voice breaks, but the apology means nothing to you without an explanation. “You wasn’t- I didn’t think you’d be back yet.”

And you feel yourself physically wretch at the thought of coming back to your apartment to find Chan and his belongings gone with no explanation.

There’s no way.

There’s no way he just planned on disappearing surely? No way he could fathom just up and leaving you?

“Chan-“ you place the takeout bags down on the floor because you can feel your hands trembling and you don’t want to spill the food you’d just picked up for you both because you’d never get the stains out of the carpet and you couldn’t afford to replace them anytime soon.

Chan graduated last year, he’s been struggling to find a music company to take him on, but he WILL find one. You know he will.

You’re due to graduate in the summer, six months from now with a Law degree on your back with no intention of using it.

“I just can’t do this anymore.” ‘To you.’ Chan adds on in his head. He can’t do this to you anymore. He can’t. It’s breaking him from the inside out. Him struggling to put food on the table just for you to come back with his favourite dish from his favourite restaurant. He can smell it through the plastic packaging of the bag right now.

You’ve no doubt taken out yet another student loan just to get this meal. It shouldn’t be this way, with him struggling to be the man you deserve, not that he’s ever been that for you, you’ve been the one holding him up the entire time and he’s starting to see the effects of that.

It’s breaking him.

It’s breaking him that he’s breaking you.

He has no other choice.

“This? You can’t do what- us? This? Me and you?”

“Exactly.” And it takes everything in Chan not to drop to his knees, hug your legs so tight and apologise there and then for all of this. Tell you… tell you that he doesn’t mean it. That he doesn’t want this. He just doesn’t feel like he has any other choice.

He doesn’t want you to feel like this is YOUR only choice. “I’m sorry I-“

“I don’t believe you.”

And Chan has always commended your mind. The way you say exactly what’s on it no matter who is around, how you never back down, how you always give the best you have. You never ever throw in the towel.

You’re going to be HELL of a fucking lawyer, Chan knows it. It’s one of the reasons he’s doing this.

“I don’t believe you!” You yell, tears threatening to fall at the thought. “We- last night we were in bed talking about our future! Last week you made me stop outside a jewellery shop window while YOU pointed out engagement rings! So what changed? In the span of… sixteen hours?! What changed Chan?”

“I just-“ I don’t want you to become a shell of a person because of me.

“Tell me you don’t love me anymore.”

Chan can feel sick rising up his throat.

He loves you with everything he fucking has. Can’t you see that? Can’t you see that this is the only way? Can’t you see that your future is bleak if he’s in it? He’ll never succeed, his dreams are going to get shattered on repeat until he spirals.

“You can’t, can you? Because I know you Chan-“ you take a step closer towards him and you watch as Chan wince’s. He doesn’t move back, but he audibly exhales a shaky breath. “I know you.” You repeat, a whisper. “Tell me what’s really going on yeah? Whatever it is, we can fix this! I swear to you we can fix this.”

This IS Chan fixing it. “I-“ Fuck he can’t even look at you. “I don’t want to be with you anymore.”

“Bullshit!” You scream. “It’s bullshit Chan- I- I just need to graduate and then we’re moving to Seoul for you to branch out! You know there’ll be better opportunities for you there yeah? We both know it. Let me just, just let me graduate and- fuck.” You can’t help it. The tears fall. “What if I email my professors? Ask to finish my degree online? We’ll list the apartment, we needed too anyway and we’ll go yeah? Okay? Does that work? I’ll do anything for you Chan please-“

And that’s the problem. That’s exactly the problem. You’re willing to give up everything,l and anything for Chan.

He can’t have that.

He can’t.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” Sorry doesn’t even begin to describe it.

Chan walks out the door.

The waft of the takeaway lingers in his nose, the tears staining your face churns his stomach, the way the front door creaks will be a noise he’ll want to repeat in his head over and over because he’ll designate it with his home, with you. With the life he wanted.

Wants.

Craves.

Desires.

The life he just left.

He will never be the same again.

You will never be the same again.

______________

“I really can’t stay long today Seungmin, I promised Jeongin I’d be home for dinner, in fact Minho and him will be picking me up in half an hour just to make sure I get out on time and-“

“I know, I know but- can you just help me out with this one final meeting? Please you know you’re better at these initiation meetings than me, you’re the best of the best.”

“You’re the best of the best too Kim Seungmin. Don’t you forget it.”

“This is your company,”

“And I hired you, correct?” You’ve had this conversation a few times with the fresh out of college lawyer for the last couple months he’s been working with you. “We don’t count ourselves short when we’re in that courtroom do we? I expect the same level of confidence that I see in your eyes in-front of the judge in front of all and any clients okay? You’re a good lawyer Kim Seungmin, I won’t let you forget that.”

“You’re using your Eomma voice on me… it’s scarier than your lawyer voice.”

“Brat,” you shove at him lightly and he chuckles, brightening up instantly and passing you over a folder.

“There’s this rap group-“

“Hold up.” You don’t even glance down at the folder, which is hell of a mistake. “You want my help on a music clientele?”

“It’s not about their music, I mean it is! They’re huge right now but, they want to leave their existing company and keep their names, recognitions etcetera…”

“Ah, I see…” You continue walking, folder still unread in your hand. “Yeah okay we can take them on. You’ll run it though okay?”

“Miss Yang-“

“You got this Seungmin, you have my full support and encouragement.”

“They… they are 3racha Miss Yang.”

“Is that meant to mean something to me? You know I don’t care for music.” As petty as it is. You haven’t so much as turned on a radio since… since he left all those years ago.

You just couldn’t stomach it. Couldn’t actively seek out what once brought you so much comfort and joy and love.

Seungmin holds a door to one of your conference rooms out to you and you step inside, Seungmin following behind.

“Hello,” you greet the man who stands and bows. He’s short but built like a brick house. “I’m Yang Y/N.”

“Seo Changbin, thank you for taking the time to see me and my members, the other two are just grabbing a drink- I apologise.”

“No need, we have a cafeteria for a reason. Kim Seungmin will be handling your case but I will be overseeing all progress as the founder of this law firm, so if you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me as-well, I must apologise for my lack of music knowledge but I assure you it does not affect my knowledge of the law in terms of music.”

Seo Changbin sends you a warm smile and gestures for you to sit, waiting for you to take a seat first to sit himself, a true gentleman really.

“Thank-you, Miss Yang. We are very grateful to be in your care with such matters.”

You finally look down at the file and you feel yours of physically lose any oxygen your lungs are attempting to inhale.

“Y/N?” Seungmin drops the ‘Miss Yang’ formalities and lawyer Kim act the second he see’s… pain? Etched across your face. “What’s wrong?”

“Sorry,” your voice is incredibly strained. “I just ummm-“

3racha.

Seo Changbin

Han Jisung

Bang Chan.

“We finally found the cafeteria! This place is a maze! Oh- I’m so sorry I’d didn’t realise you were waiting on us-“

“Sit down Jisung,” you watch Changbin call over the other man with wide panicked eyes and a bow from the waist is given in your direction before he bolts into a free seat. “Come on Hyung!”

You don’t even need to look at the other man who’s stepped in behind Jisung, you’d be able to recognise that shaky inhale of breath anywhere.

“Y/N?”

You can’t bring yourself to make eye contact with him.

“As I previously stated Mister Seo, Seungmin here will be the one looking after your case-“ you try to remain as professional as you can but your hands are fucking shaking and the room as spinning and you get onto your legs that are crumbling beneath you. “I deeply apologise but I have to go I-“

“EOMMA!” You’re engulfed into a whirlwind of a hug and you look down with watery eyes to see your son’s sparkling up at you. “Minho drove with the windows down and now my hair is all crazy! Look! Look!”

“Looks like a birds nest,” you hear Seungmin tease your son but you can’t find yourself to laugh, or move, or breathe.

“HOLY SHIT!” And that snaps you out of it because your son just fucking swore. “YOU ARE 3RACHA! I’m Yang Jeongin! I’m a huge fan!”

“Ah,” you watch as Jisung breaks into a smile. “You are?”

Your son nods frantically. “My Eomma doesn’t like music, she says it gives her a headache but Minho lets me listen in his car after school or when we make dinner! We have a dance party!”

“YAH! Stop telling my secrets!” Minho comes into the room, takes one look at you and instantly presses his hand against your forehead. “Are you sick?”

“No, no-“

“You’re sick Eomma?” Jeongin looks at you with so much worry in those innocent eyes that you bend down to pat at his messy birds nest of a head. “No sweetheart, I’m fine.”

You know that nobody in that fucking room believes you and you still can’t look at one person in it and you don’t know the other two.

“And who taught you that naughty word, hmmm?” You don’t even need to look at Minho to know it was him.

Your son ignores your question, because of course he does.
“Can I get your autograph before I go? I’d love to stay and chat but Eomma’s making japchae for dinner!”

Changbin barks out a loud laugh. “I’d take japchae over talking to us too kid! Of course you can have our signature.”

Seungmin grabs some paper and a pen from his notebook and Jeongin is practically sqealing, getting Changbin’s, then Jisung’s and then-

“Let’s go Jeongin.”

“But I still need Channie’s signature!”

Your son referring to him as ‘Channie’ makes bile rise in your throat.
“Jeongin-“

But Jeongin’s footsteps are already in the direction of the man you now HAVE to look at.

The man who left you.

The man who’s about to sign an autograph for his fucking son.

His son that he didn’t know existed.

“Jeongin, right?” And Chan’s voice is tight as he speaks.

The boy looks up at him with awe in his eyes. Nodding frantically.

Chan knows those eyes.

They are yours.

The high cheekbones though? The dimples? The wide smile? That’s all him. He’s sure of it.

Chan doesn’t know whether to laugh, cry or be sick. “How old are you?”

“I’m six!”

Six.

Chan left six years and seven months ago.

“Six huh? You’re all grown up-“

“I keep telling my Eomma that but she says I’m still her baby!”

“I’m sure you are,”

“Jeongin, come on-“ your voice was now more a plea than anything.

“It was nice meeting you! I want to be a singer when I’m older too! Maybe my Eomma will start liking music again then!”

Chan can only watch as his son locks hands with the man apparently called ‘Minho’ before pulling him out of the room.

“I’m uhhh-“ you clear your throat. “I apologise for that, I promise that this company is incredibly professional he just-“

“He’s a cute kid, no harm done.” Changbin smiles at you.

“And he wants to be a singer!” Jisung encourages.

You don’t know what to say really, so you just turn to Seungmin. “I’ll see you in the morning yes? Get all the basic information you need and keep me updated okay?”

“Yes boss,” seungmin is clearly wary at seeing you so… shook? But he remains calm and collected and the complete opposite of you right now.

“Y/N.” And before you can even make it out of the room there’s a hand on your wrist.

A familiar hand.

One that’s touched you everywhere, over every fucking centimetre of skin on your body hundreds of times.

Hands that have wiped your tears, hands that have loved you, held you, caressed you, pleased you, made you feel safe… “He’s mine, isn’t he?”

Silence.

A pin could drop and you’d be able to hear it.

You finally meet his eyes.

“Jeongin… he’s my son.”

“Y/N?” Minho’s voice calls out and you look past Chan to see him with a frown on your face.

“Where’s Jeon-“

“I left him at reception with Hyunjin,” Minho eases your worries about your sweet oblivious Jeongin hearing this conversation right now.
“Let her go.”

You don’t even realise Minho is directing this at Chan until Chan replies. “Not until I get an answer.”

“Channie-Hyung?” You faintly hear Jisung speak up but it’s drowned out by the thumping of your heart.

“He’s mine. My son. Isn’t he?”

“He’s mine, actually.” You manage to get out. “He might have been yours if you…” didn’t leave.

“He’s mine.” Chan repeats. “He’s six! He’s my fucking son and you didn’t-“

“Let. Her. Go.” Minho repeats.

“And who are you? Are you playing pretend Appa?”

Minho snarls. “Get your hands off the best lawyer in Seoul before you end up behind bars, and that’s if I don’t put you on your ass first-“

“Okay!” Changbin attempts to diffuse the situation. “Why don’t we come back tomorrow and-“

“Just tell me!” Chan roars. Letting your wrist go but not backing down.

“I don’t need to,” you finally crack. “You already know the answer.”

And then Minho is getting you the hell out of that conference room and you vaguely hear a bunch of shouting that you manage to drown out as Jeongin swims into your vision once more and you plaster a smile on your face, blinking back your tears. “Right!” You clap your hands together to stop them from vibrating. “Japchae?”

______________

“I can’t believe this! I can’t fucking believe this!”

“Chan-“

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Chan may aswell fucking growl at Changbin. “Don’t.” He reiterates.

“I wasn’t going to,” Changbin remains level headed even if he doesn’t appreciate the attitude he’s receiving right now, and from the way Jisung flinched when chan raised his voice, Jisung wasn’t exactly having the time of his life either.

“She kept this from me! My own child, he’s so- he’s grown up now! He’s six! Six years that’s-“

“Didn’t you leave her?”

Listen, Changbin loves Chan. Adores him, respects him, him and Jisung are more like brothers than just a rap group, and it didn’t take long for Changbin to put the pieces together and realise that this is the girl Chan left to live here to Seoul and begin his journey of underground rapping where they all met those years back.

Chan’s story came with heartbreak and separation from someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and no, in all honesty neither Changbin or Jisung understood why Chan would do such a thing, but they never fully questioned him on it, because they trusted him.

“Yes,” Chan replies through gritted teeth.

“With her having literally no way of contacting you?”

“Yes.”

“So how exactly did you expect her to tell you about the pregnancy?”

Chan can’t exactly answer that one. He’s mad. At you. At leaving. At not knowing about Jeongin. About how cute his dimples are, how they go deeper on the right side just like Chan’s.

He’s mad.

He’s mad at himself.

“I have to talk to her,”

“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” The youngest of 3racha finally speaks up. “We umm, we kind of need her? Her and Seungmin promised to help us and-“

“I won’t let it affect us.” Chan states. “I haven’t let it affect us.”

And FairPlay to Chan he hasn’t. He hasn’t let his crippling depression and anxiety and loss of you… someone who is very much still alive but have already carved out a grievance in Chan’s heart long ago affect them.

Until now.

“He’s my son. Regardless of what happened between me and Y/N. Regardless of her and that other guy-“

“Minho?”

“Yeah.” Chan agrees, not really mentally able to keep up with anything other than his point right now. “And regardless of hiring her lawyer-“

“Seungmin.”

“Yes! Fuck guys just-“ it wasn’t often Chan lost his composure, but when he did the other two knew it took him a while to snap back to himself. “He’s still my son, mine. I still- I want to be a part of his life, I want- I want to be his father.”

Changbin sucks in a breath as Jisung exhales one.

“We support that.” Changbin stands, patting Chan firmly on the shoulder. “We really do.”

And Chan knew he was speaking the truth. Changbin had never lied to him and vice versa. That can be said for the trio, actually.

“Does that mean we’re gonna be that cuties uncles? He wants to be a singer! I could give him vocal lessons and-“

Chan throws Jisung up from where he’s sat, the three of them sharing a very masculine group hug while Jisung whines about Changbin’s armpit hair being so close to him and the fact that they ran out of deodorant a couple days ago and not one of them have restocked it.

“You know we really will support you, support this, right?”

Chan looks at Jisung and then back at Changbin. “Yeah. Thanks guys.”

“So how are you going to do it?” Jisung eventually wonders.

“Honestly?” Chan clicks his tongue against his cheek. “Fuck knows.”

…….

“Want to talk about it?” Minho asks as you’re washing dishes after dinner, Minho drying them behind you. Jeongin already tucked into bed fast asleep after inhaling two bowls of japchae and reading three bedtime stories.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” You pass Minho over a bowl and he raises an eyebrow at you. “There isn’t.” You protest.

“Okay.” Minho continues drying.

Awkward silences aren’t yours and Minho’s thing.

Never have been.

Until now.

“Is it true though? I mean is he-“

“Chan,” it pains you to say his name.

“You’ve never spoken about him before,”

“I have nothing to say about him,”

“Y/N-“

“Minho-“

“Is he Jeongin’s father?” He asks carefully, eyes trained on you, dishes dry and put away now, the out of you still stood in the kitchen.

“Yes.”

“Are you going to tell Jeongin?”

You scoff loudly. “Are you serious?”

“Yes.” Minho says bluntly. “It’s a serious question.”

One you didn’t have the answer too. “I don’t know…”

“Are you going to talk to him about it? The Chan guy?”

“I think I have too.”

“Want me to be there? I’m a black belt after all…”

You finally crack a smile that Minho reciprocates. “I think I can handle him.” You always could.

It’s clearly him that couldn’t handle you since he… since he left.

“Y/N…”

“I’m tired Min, I’m going to crash okay? We can talk about this another time I just- I can’t right now.”

“I know,” and Minho does, you think he knows you better than you know yourself at this point. “It’ll work out, yeah? You’ve come this far.”

“We’ve come this far.” You correct him.

“You.” Minho corrects you right back.

“We.” You argue back. “We, Minho. I would have never…” survived without you.

“Yes you would have. Now get some rest.”

If only the rest came when your head hit the pillow.

Rest? More like restless.

_______________

“Good morning!”
Chan blinks at the very awake receptionist. “Do you have a meeting?”

Changbin and Jisung wait for Chan to say something, and when he doesn’t, Changbin clears his throat. “Yes, with Seungmin.”

“Okay bare with me a second- ahhh, 3racha yes?”

“That’s us!”

“Great, his office is the second left after you go through these doors, there’s seats outside until he’s ready.”

“Thanks uh- sorry, I’m looking for your name tag?”

“Oh, I’m Hyunjin.”

“Uncle Jinnie!”

“Or Uncle Jinnie,” Hyunjin laughs, racing around his desk and to the bundle of wrapped up Jeongin that’s barrelling towards him. “Slow down! You know how clumsy you are!”

“Eomma says I have two left feet but when we bought me new shoes the other day one of them was definitely for a right…” Jeongin explains.

“It’s just an expression Innie,” Hyunjin scoops him up easy.

“Like when Minho says he’ll make you eat tissues?”

“No! That’s a threat!” The man himself struts in.

“Let’s not teach Jeongin what threats are at half eight on a Wednesday morning,” you exasperate coming in after Minho, “Morning Jinnie.”

“Morning!” Hyunjin laughs.

“I’ll keep them for four o clock on a Sunday then should I? Threat teaching?” Minho grins and you smack him upside the head, making Jeongin and Hyunjin both laugh.

Chan, Changbin and Jisung are watching the back and forth.

Changbin and Jisung didn’t even know they could ache to be called ‘Uncle’ and yet here they were.

Chan is desperate to say something, but before he can, his own flesh and blood spots him. “You guys are here again?!”

“Ah!” Chan finally gets some willpower to talk. “Yeah, looks like we’re going to be coming here for a while.”

“Not if Seungmin can help it,” Minho supplies. “He’s a fast worker.”

The tension between Minho and Chan was palpable, a boiling pot threatening to spill at the edges.

“Right!” You clap your hands and spring into action, grabbing Jeongin to smother him in forehead, nose and cheek kisses while he giggles.

Chan’s breathing catches in his throat. Jeongin laughs just like you, a wheeze more than an actual noise of laughter.

“You have a good day at school, I’ll see you later okay?”

“Can I come here from school? I want to get 3racha to sign my CD!”

“You have their CD?”

“You have our CD?”

You and Chan both ask this at the same time.

“I…” Jeongin looks shy, suddenly. “I only play it when I’m in my room… I know you don’t like listening Eomma…”

Your heart might aswell shatter into pieces.

“Do you guys think you could make a song my Eomma would like?”

And how is Chan meant to look into his son’s pleading eyes and not have his heart shattered into pieces? “I’ll try my best yeah?”

“Fighting!” The six year old cheers.

“Alright champ, let’s get you to school.” Minho lifts Jeongin easily onto his shoulders. “Hold on tight!”

Jeongin struggles to keep still through the excitement of being so high up. “Look! I’m flying!”

You look at your son with so much adoration. “Have the best day Innie, I’ll see you later. Thanks Min.”

“Always.” Minho replies. “I’m cooking beef wellington for dinner by the way- no I’m not saving you a piece.” Minho points at Hyunjin before the poor guy can even ask.

Hyunjin pouts and Minho laughs, heading off with a happy Jeongin.

“You know he’ll save you a piece.” You tell Hyunjin. “I better head to the office. Let me know if any changes are made to my schedule okay?”

“Actually-“ Chan speaks up before he can stop himself. “I was hoping we could talk?”

“I have a busy day Chan, I can’t just-“

“I think you can give me five minutes Y/N.”

“Do you think you deserve five minutes, Chan?”

Ouch. Chan should have seen that coming. You’ve always had a sharp tongue, but it’s never been pointed in Chan’s direction, he always got the sweetness of your words, the praise and the kindness and the patience and the love.

“I think I deserve to be the father I want to be.” He tells you, still trying to keep his calm.

“You want to be?” You repeat like you’re hearing things. “Since when?”

“Since I found out I have a six year old son!” Chan pinches his nose to stop himself from exploding. “Please Y/N.”

You turn to Hyunjin, whose eyes are bugging out of his skull right now with a what-the-actual-fuck-is-happening look being pointed in your direction.

“Jinnie, can you tell my first client that I’m running late? Butter them up with the good coffee and a free croissant from the cafeteria yeah? I- I’ll let you know when I’m done.”

Hyunjin nods dumbly. Still in shock.

“Five minutes Chan,”

Chan nods excessively. “Five minutes.”

“We’ll meet you in Seungmin’s office then?” Changbin queries to Chan.

Chan didn’t expect to get this far, but he’s here now. “Yeah, yeah I’ll meet you guys there.”

……..

“Nice office…” Chan murmurs as he steps inside, checking out the decor, oak furniture and cream walls. There’s your diploma hung on the wall.

Chan never got to see you graduate.

He quickly flicks his eyes away and you gesture to the seat opposite your desk for him to take.

He does.

You sit in your own desk chair and cross your one leg over the other to stop yourself bouncing them in that nervous habit you haven’t been able to beat over the years.

“I want to be a part of Jeongin’s life,”

“Chan-“

“You can’t keep him from me!”

“I’ve never kept him from you.” You reply back coldly.

“You could have told me-“

“And how would I do that? I’m a lawyer not a fucking detective.”

Chan reels, Changbin literally told him the same thing last night in a similar way. “Right. Yeah. I’m sorry-“

You have to keep the scoff threatening to bubble from your throat at bay. “I won’t stop you from seeing Jeongin-“

“Thank-you.”

“But-“ you’re quick to continue before Chan can. “That doesn’t mean I’m just going to introduce you as his father straight away Chan, I can’t- I can’t give Jeongin a father and then you leave him.” Like you left me.

“I would never-“ chan shuts up because he remembers saying similar things to you. “I understand.” Is what he manages through gritted teeth.

“We’ll figure something out. Especially if you and the other members of your band-“

“Jisung and Changbin. They want- they want to be involved in Jeongin’s life too.”

“I’ll have to get to know them first. I’m really… I worry about who I let around him.”

“Because of me?”

“You don’t have that much control over me,”

“Yet you no longer listen to music?”

“Chan. While I appreciate your subtle digs and insights, I’m willing to communicate with you about our son, nothing else.”

Chan swallows. “You must be a force in a courtroom.”

You are. “Why don’t we schedule a time for you to have some time with Jeongin? Me and Minho will come and-“

“Why does he have to come?”

“Because he’s literally always with us. He helped me raise Jeongin-“

“He’s not his father.”

“He’s well aware.”

“Is he?”

“You know what, if you’re going to be this difficult maybe we should re consider doing it this way. I know some really good lawyers that deal with this kind of-“

“No, no Y/N that’s not- I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be difficult, this is just really… it’s hard for me, to see my son be so… to be with others. Minho and your receptionist… he calls him Uncle!”

“Hyunjin is his uncle as far as I’m concerned, Seungmin too.”

“And Minho?”

“Obviously.”

Chan stands up from the chair, pacing the room as he forms crescents in his palms with his nails. “I just want to be a part of my son’s life.”

“Then cut out the passive aggressive bullshit and cooperate with me. You have to understand where I’m coming from, if you leave-“

“I won’t!” Chan all but yells. “I won’t leave my son.”

“Then prove it.” You counter back, your heart racing and pupils shaking as you meet the fire behind Chan’s eyes. “Prove it.” You repeat.

And Chan will. He really will.

____________

“Innie?” You knock softly on his door eventhough it’s open, where your six year old was picking out what book you’re going to read tonight before bed.

“You’re using your worried voice Eomma.” Jeongin frowns. Pulling out a copy of ‘we’re going on a beat hunt’ classic.

“I’m not worried,” you instantly say, trying to relax yourself. “I just wanted to talk to you about something…”

“Is this about me having a 3racha CD? I got it from the shop uncle Jinnie took me too a while ago, and I always keep it down when I play-“ Hyunjin absolutely adores taking Jeongin shopping. Never having siblings himself but always wanting a younger brother back when he was Jeongin’s age. It’s healing his inner child to spoil your son, and it heals your heart a bit more to see your son so loved by the friends you have, the friends that have become your chosen family.

“I’m not mad about the CD, I actually wanted to say sorry to you.”

Jeongin blinks. “You haven’t done anything wrong though?”

“I have. I made you feel like you couldn’t listen to music because of me.”

“But you don’t like music,” your son says easily, completely accepting as per usual.

“I used to.” You tell Jeongin either a soft smile.

“I know! I found a bunch of CD’s in the cupboard the other day when I was looking for a pan,”

“Why were you looking for a pan?”

“I was going to wear it as a helmet! Uncle Minho was using the one with holes in!”

“The strainer?” You hold back a laugh. You don’t question why he would need it as a helmet, sometimes it’s better not to ask.

“Yeah! You have a lot of CD’s Eomma.”

All mixtapes. All made by Chan throughout your years of dating. All filled with cheesy love songs. All not able to leave your possession.

“I do.” You reminisce. “Eomma’s sorry for holding you back, you said you wanted to be a singer the other day… you were so excited to see 3racha…”

“They are SO COOL Eomma!”

“I want you to enjoy music whether I’m here or not okay?”

“Really!?”

How could you ever deprive your son of something he has an obvious passion for just because of your broken heart that he’s fixed without even realising? “Really.”

“Can we read the bear story now?”

And just like that the conversation is over and you can breathe a little easier. “Yeah, yeah of course we can.” You put a kiss on his forehead. “Get comfy under the covers.” You open the book as your son shuffles into bed. “We’re going on a bear hunt…”

______________

“Nervous?”

“I think I’m going to shit my pants.” Chan says back, rubbing his hands together as he bounces back and forth on the soles of his feet.

“I don’t know why I asked it was a stupid question, sorry.” Changbin wince’s. “Even I’m nervous.”

“Yeah?” Chan asks back.

“Of course we’re nervous!” Jisung blurts. “We’re about to spend time with your son!”

“Except he won’t know I’m his father…”

“He will eventually,” Changbin pats Chan on the back.

“If it makes you feel any better…” Seungmin speaks up, having been sat working with 3ravha most of the day in his office but now moved to one of the bigger conference rooms. Watching the three of them struggle to sit back down. “Jeongin sometimes comes here for dinner when Y/N’s working late, so this is an environment he’s comfortable in. So he’ll be completely at ease. Plus, he really looks up to you guys, so you’re off to a good start.”

Chan is clearly taken back by Seungmin’s words and honesty.

“Well that’s great!” Changbin says back, the epitome of enthusiasm. Sitting himself down in a chair, where Jisung and Chan follow.

“And I’m officially off the clock!” Hyunjin bursts into the room and instead of choosing an empty chair, barrels straight into Seungmin’s lap. “Did you order me-“

“I ordered everything you text me Hyunjin, now get off-“ Seungmin whines, prying Hyunjin away from his lap.

Hyunjin huffs but relents and chooses a seat before looking at 3racha. “I guess we really will be seeing more of each other if you’re Jeongin’s-“

“Food’s here!” Minho arrives, breaking Hyunjin out of his sentence by throwing down four heavy bags onto the table. “Are we feeding the entire country? Why’d you order so much?”

“Because you paid.” Seungmin retorts.

“Brat.” Minho scoffs, sinking down into a seat too. Clearly ignoring the presence of three people in the room until Jisung speaks up. “We can pay, for ours at least-“

Minho narrows his eyes on the guy and Jisung almost squeaks at the intensity. “Don’t make me poison your food.”

“Like the evil queen did to snow whites Apple?!” Jeongin gasps as he comes into the room with you, and all heads whip towards him.

“Exactly!” Minho agrees.

“Not exactly!” You glare at your best friend.

“Uncle Minho are you being a Scorpio again?” Jeongin blinks his eyes up at him as Minho hauls him onto his lap.

“A what?”

“Uncle Jinnie says that when you say all those.. threats and stuff, that it’s because you’re being a Scorpio!”

You absolutely burst into laughter. Chan can picture you doing that exact same laugh for him so many times. On your first ever date when he accidentally ordered something spicy and was fighting for his life through two glasses of iced water as his lips tingled and turned bright red. The first time Chan told you one of his pick up lines, and you had tears in your eyes as you laughed form how awful it was. That time Chan was so sleep deprived that he tried using the laundry powder as flour and made very inedible cupcakes just because he wanted to do something nice for you… You laughed so hard when you discovered what he’d done and then proceeded to force him to sleep for a solid sixteen hours and when he woke up, there was a fresh batch of edible cupcakes ready for him instead.

You laughed like that around him so often that he took it for granted.

He’s yearned to hear that laugh again.

“You got me McDonald’s?!” Jeongin’s forgets the Scorpio dilemma and jumps from Minho’s lap to snatch a cheeseburger from the table as Seungmin and Hyunjin begin emptying bags with the help of Changbin.

“You don’t get happy meals?” Chan wonders.

Jeongin shakes his head and takes the biggest bite of another Chan has ever seen a kid take. “Not anymore! They don’t fill me up!”

“He’ll eat at least two burgers, before fries.” You say but not as a bad thing, “My growing boy.”

Jeongin polishes off his first hamburger before everyone’s even managed to get to their own food.

Chan reaches over to pass Jeongin the second one, and Jeongin takes it while shooting Chan a smile that makes his dimples appear, that Chan reciprocates while unshed tears come across his water line.

“So Jeongin! Do you like school?”

Chan silently thanks Changbin for starting up conversation.

Jeongin nods his head rapidly, chewing his food just as fast.

“Slow down Innie,” Minho reminds him. “Don’t rush, you can eat first and answer once you’ve swallowed.”

“Good manners!” Changbin smiles as he catches on. “Jisung here hasn’t even mastered that yet and he’s twenty four-“

“Yah!” Jisung shouts, bits of food falling from his mouth as he does so, making Changbin’s point very clear and making your son giggle.

“I like school! My teacher is Australian! He calls us ‘mate’ and he’s good a really deep voice!”

“Australian?” Chan croaks. “Like me?” ‘Like you. Like us’ but Chan can’t say that.

“You’re Australian?! That’s so cool! I want to celebrate Christmas on the beach!”

“Felix is Korean-Australian like you, yeah.” You tell Chan just to add into the conversation. “He’s great.”

“I see,” Chan nods. “Well that’s good! That you have a good teacher. I do miss spending Christmas on the beach too, I must admit.”

Jeongin finishes off his second burger and already has his grubby little hands full of fries. “Can I go with you next time you go?”

“Jeongin-“

“What?” Jeongin pouts at you. “Chan isn’t stranger danger! He’s CB97! Everyone loves him Eomma! I’d be super safe with him!”

“I’m sure you would be,” you try to keep the tremble out of your voice. “But let’s still get to know him and the others a bit first okay?”

You haven’t heard the nickname CB97 in a while. You can’t believe he still uses that? A silly little nickname you gave him for his first underground rap appearance when he was first joining the scene back when you were a pair of bare faced eighteen year olds madly in love with nothing to lose.

“Would that be okay with you Jeongin?” Jisung now asks the boy. “If we stick around?”

“Please!” Jeongin says.

Chan decides that he will give Jeongin anything he fucking asks for.

Anything.

Chan’s eyes flick to you as he lingers away from Jeongin to see you already looking at him and for a moment it’s like you’re the only two in the room.

“Eomma, I’m all finished!” Jeongin shouts proudly, gaining high fives from everyone in the room,
chan included, and he wants to pull Jeongin into his chest and cradle him with all his might.

“I’m impressed!” Changbin chuckles. “You ate faster than me!”

“You should see him on sushi night,” Minho suggests. “The boy can eat our monthly rent money on tuna rolls.”

“You guys live together?” It’s a whisper, but it comes from Chan’s lips all the same.

“Ah, you see-“

“Minho-“ you try to stop him but once Minho’s put his mind to something nothing will stop him, so he continues.

“Y/N was pregnant in her last year of college, right before she graduated, but she didn’t know at first, and she could no longer afford the rent of her apartment due to…”

Chan leaving.

“Unforseen circumstances.” Minho tries not to grin at his superiority as he holds Chan’s gaze. Knowing exactly what Minho is implying. “So she put that she was looking for a roommate, and then she found me!”

“Uncle Minho has always lived with us!” Jeongin chimes in. “Lots of my friends in school live with their Eomma and Appa but…”
Chan sucks in a breath and as he does he sucks every drop of air from that room as everyone tenses at the six years olds words. “But I have Uncle Minho, and Uncle Jinnie and Minnie.”

Chan faintly hears the whimper that comes from his own mouth, and feels Changbin put a hand on his knee subtly under the table, squeezing it in reassurance. “I’m really glad you have them, Jeongin.” And Chan genuinely means it. No matter how he feels about the situation, he’s glad his son is being raised with people he can see truly cares for him.

“Me too!” Jeongin says happily, slurping down a milkshake, completely oblivious to the rest of it.

…..

“Wait Y/N-“ Chan reaches out, too scared to physically touch you because if he does he thinks he’ll hold you tight and never ever let you go again. So instead he just hopes that you can see the need he has to talk to you in his eyes. You always were good at understanding him even when he couldn’t understand himself.

“Yeah?” You say back carefully, Minho already getting Jeongin into the car who fell asleep not long after his meal in your arms. Seungmin and Hyunjin gone for the night and you getting ready to lock up the firm after 3racha.

“Thank-you, for that. I know it was just a dinner to you but-“ Chan shakes his head. “That meant a lot to me, I’m grateful you’re letting me be a part of Jeongin’s life.”

“I’ve never stopped you from being a part of it.” And you haven’t. The only person who’s stopped themselves is Chan.

Self sabotage at its finest. Something Chan absolutely thrives in.

“We hope to get to know him more, he’s a really great kid.” Changbin tells you earnestly.

“You’re a good Eomma.”
Jisung smiles all gummy at you.

You waver a little at that. “Oh, Thankyou. I couldn’t have done it on my own though I- It really does take a village.”

“We hope we can join that, the village.” Changbin bows to you, and in turn Jisung does too.

The level of respect is mind blowing all things considered. You didn’t really know these men after all.

They leave, to give you and Chan a moment. You lock up your building for the night and Chan stays, watching you.

“I knew you’d make it, you know? I always- I always knew you’d be capable of something like this. Your own law firm…”

“Says one of the most successful groups in the industry right now.”

“You really haven’t listened to our stuff? You really don’t listen to music anymore?”

“I can’t Chan.” And it’s the most vulnerable you’ve been with him.

“I’m sorry.”

“I have to go, Jeongin needs to sleep in his bed and not the car seat, I don’t want him to get a stiff neck I-“

“You really are a great Eomma, Y/N. I’m- I couldn’t ask for a better mother for our son.”

The tears stream, Chan takes a step forward, it’s like an instinct he can’t fight, to want to comfort you, to want to hold you.

But then you stumble back and Chan freezes.

It’s not his place anymore. It’s not- he’s not your comfort person now. He’s not your safe place.

He’s not yours.

You’re not his.

“Y/N I-“

“Goodnight Chan,” you manage to get out through the thickness of your voice and the heavy downpour of tears, all but running to get into Minho’s car.

Fuck.

_____________

“Come in! Oh? Seungminnie? Everything alright?”

Seungmin isn’t normally nervous. He’s studious, sharp, intelligent, patient. He doesn’t do this, doesn’t fidget, doesn’t pace, doesn’t come to your office with his head hung low rather than held high.

It makes knots twist in your stomach. “Seungmin wnat-“

“I’m going to lose.” He blurts. “The 3racha case, I’m going to lose-“

“Seungmin-“

“No, no I didn’t come here for a pep talk. I came here to tell you that I’m going to lose. Tarnish your reputation and law firm, and that all I’m sorry Y/N-“

“Absolutely not.” You cut Seungmin off. “Are you meaning to tell me, that the notorious Kim Seungmin has admitted defeat before he’s even made it to the courtroom?”

“The representative from their old company just showed up and he’s- God that guys lethal. He won’t compromise like we were hoping, won’t negotiate, won’t budge! It’s- I’m trying to find a way-“

“And you will, Seungmin. You’ll find a way. Why don’t I join you for lunch and we have a look over the foundation of things you’ve got so far yeah?”

“I didn’t want to ask, you know I hate asking you, and especially now because it’s-“

“Chan?”

“…Yes.”

“It doesn’t affect my job, Seungmin. I won’t let it, anyway.”

“Okay, okay I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry, and also, stop saying you’re going to ‘tarnish my reputation’ or whatever that’s supposed to mean. Lawyers cannot possibly win every case, even if we should. People have too much money sometimes, too much power, too many fingers in too many pots, or we’re just blindsided by our clients. It happens and it’s okay that it happens. We’ll figure it out. I hope you know that I think you’re hell of a lawyer, Seungmin. I wouldn’t have hired you otherwise.”

Seungmin bows and you roll your eyes, standing up to pull him into a hug instead.

“They were treated really badly.” Seungmin tells you, barely above a whisper, but you hear it.

“We’ll get justice.” You say sternly. “I know we will.”

_________

“Y/N?”

“Hmmm?” You blink, your vision blurred from where you’ve been hunched over, staring at the pages of the documents Seungmin lent you for the last couple hours after putting Jeongin to bed.

You relax as Minho sits beside you, instantly throwing an arm over your shoulder for your head to fall in the judging of his neck.

“It’s been a while since you brought work home.”

And it has. “I know, sorry.”

Minho scoffs. “Idiot. You don’t have to apologise, I just don’t want you overworking.”

“I know Min, thanks.” You say gratefully. “I might have to work a late night or two this week, will you be okay with Innie?”

“The audacity of you to ask that,” Minho almost pouts. “I’ll be more than okay with my favourite person, thank you very much!”

“And what am I?”

“Chopped liver.” Minho teases and you relax even further into him. “This Chan’s case?”

“3racha’s, yeah.” You stare back down at the pages. “Seungmin’s worried about it.”

Minho hums. That’s unusual for Seungmin.

“I can see why, if I’m honest. They signed contracts when they first joined the company, hell they couldn’t even wipe their noses in public, it’s just insanity. The main struggle we’re having is keeping them as 3racha for their stage name. Their old company manager is an asshole.”

“Won’t be the first asshole you’ve handled in your time as Lawyer though. You’ll get them.”

“I’ll try.”

“You will.” Minho determines. And it’s funny, because you used that exact same tone and directness with Seungmin to try and boost his confidence, and now your pillar, your Minho was doing it for you. “Do you think…” Minho stops talking.

“You’re never one to shy away from your thoughts.” You prod. “What is it?”

“Do you think they’ll stick around once it’s done?”

“Why? You want them too?”

“I-“ Minho sucks his teeth. “I think Chan will be a great father to Jeongin.”

“Me too.” You agree. “But I can’t tell Jeongin yet I- I need to know that he isn’t going to just…”

“That’s what he did with you, right? You never spoke to me about it…” you’ve never spoken to anyone about it. “But I did find it odd when you only had six months on your lease that you suddenly couldn’t afford it and…”

A broken sob escapes your lips before you can catch it, and then you instantly muffle it, you wouldn’t dare want to wake your precious jeongin.

“Shhhh,” Minho pulls you closer into him, your face now soaking his shirt as you cry in his arms. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“

But you needed to get this out. You needed to think about it, to full think about it, to talk about it. To admit it. “He just left Min he- we were going to be here together as soon as I graduated we- he- he spoke about marriage and then the next week he walked out the door-“

Minho’s heart breaks for you. “You never did get over him, did you?” And you didn’t. You haven’t gone on one date, never mentioned interest in another man, never even looked in the direction of anyone who wasn’t a client, your friends or the Judge of the courtroom.

“I couldn’t if I tried.” You admit. “And if I’ve tried, believe me but I just-“

“Do you think it’s a mutual thing?”

“Did you not listen to the part where I just said he left without so much as a glance back?” You hiccup into Minho, your eyes stinging from the tears, wet across your cheeks and saltiness on your lips as you talk.

“He gave no reason?”

“He gave a reason, just said he didn’t want me anymore, couldn’t be with me, and then he said sorry.”

Minho doesn’t understand. “I don’t understand.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

Minho lets you continue to cry it out until you have nothing left to cry and exhaustion has taken over.

Minho carries and tucks you into your bed before cleaning up your face as best he can without disturbing you and then organising your papers so that Jeongin’s sticky little hands don’t get to them.

And then he thinks. He thinks and thinks and thinks.

He isn’t stupid, he can see the longing on Chan’s face a mile away, can see the pain of what he’s lost, what he could have had had he stayed.

Can see the jealousy cascading through him at the implants of Minho, at the idea what he’s a family man with Chan’s actual family. That he lives with you.

Dumb straight man. Minho almost rolls his eyes.

There has to be more to the story, surely?

Minho’s determined to find out.

______________

“Oh shit sorry- oh,”

“Oh,” you laugh, looking up at Chan but he bends down, scooping up the papers that just collided between you both. “Thanks…” you try not to flinch as he passes you back the papers, your fingertips barely grazing but still enough to touch.

“Where were you going in such a hurry?”

“The courthouse, actually. I’m finishing up a case today. It’s been a four day trial-“

“Explains why I haven’t seen you,”

“You’ve been looking for me?”

“I-“ Chan laughs a little nervously, his tell is that he laughed at least an octave higher and his eyes look everywhere but at you.

He hasn’t changed.

“Good luck,” Chan offers instead of answering your question.

“Thanks!” You go to walk away, but something stops you.

Your son. His little voice in the back of your mind. “Jeongin’s been asking for you.”

Chan’s heart literally skips a beat. “He has?!”

“Yeah he- I know we’ve had a few dinners here at the company but… if you want-“

“I want.” Chan insists.

You smile at his enthusiasm. “We’re going to go get ice cream this weekend, we go to this little place a few streets away, it’s-“

“Can you text me the address? I can meet you there? Whatever time works for you, I’ll make it work too.”

“I don’t have your number,”

“It’s the same number, I didn’t change it.”

“You’ll have to uhh, unblock me then, I guess?”

“Oh.” Chan realises. “Yeah, yeah I can uh, yeah. Shit sorry-“

“I have to go. I can’t be late.”

“Y/N-“

“I’ll text you. Jeongin wants to see you after all and I told you I’d never stop you from seeing him.”

“Y/N-“

You leave. Heels click clacking as you go and the paper stack in your hand threatening to tip from your fingers all over again.

“Fuck,” Chan pulls out his phone and unblocks your number straight away.

You’re still saved as ‘Mine❤️’

He doesn’t change it.

He hasn’t got the guts to.

He thinks it would actually destroy him.

____________

“Are you hungover or something?”

“What?” Chan sours. “Of course not! Why would I get drunk the night before meeting you and Jeongin?”

“The sunglasses…”

“It’s so people don’t recognise me, I don’t want paparazzi taking photos, especially of Jeongin. Social media isn’t a safe place for anyone these days, let alone a child.”

You actually find that sweet. You look over at Jeongin, scooping a multitude of toppings onto his ice cream at the children’s ’do it yourself’ bar the ice cream parlour has, you and Chan watching him fondly.

“Thank-you for inviting me,” Chan acknowledges.

“You’re welcome. You deserve to spend time with him too.”

“I like this. The three of us.”

Chan wants you to interpret it.

You don’t want to.

You would have had plenty of time as the three of you if he had stayed.

“I vowed that I would have my weekends with Jeongin as weekends, no work, no stress, I leave all of that when I lock the company doors on Friday evenings. The weekends are for us, for me and Innie. For the family time he deserves.”

And Chan can interpret that himself. That he deserves a family who is PRESENT. Who is THERE.

“Y/N I-“

“Eomma! Channie! Look at this!” Jeongin returns with his cup of ice cream, though you can’t even see the scoop of vanilla because it’s towered by pretzels and gummy bears and chocolate.

“A sugar rush is one hundred percent incoming,” Chan laughs.

“The weekends are for sweet treats aren’t they Innie?” You ruffle your son’s head or hair. “We can go to the park after if you like?”

“Can Channie come?!” Jeongin forgets his manners due to his excitement. Mouthful of ice cream dripping down his chin as he asks.

“Channie is probably busy Innie-“

“I’d love too.” Chan interrupts. “If your Eomma is okay with that.”

…..

“And then Eomma held my right hand and Channie held my left hand and then they’d count to three and then they’d swing me up in the air and I went so high! And then Channie went down the tunnel slide with me because you know that one is scary-“

“So scary,” Minho agree’s. Hanging off every word Jeongin is telling him.

“And then we played until it got dark and- and then Channie had to leave…”

“We had to come home for dinner Innie, Uncle Min made your favourite, and we needed to get you in the bath after someone fell into a puddle-“

“That’s Channie’s fault!” Jeongin protests but the smile on your son’s face hasn’t budged all day. “I had the best day.” He confirms your theory tonight ad you kiss his forehead and tuck him into bed. “Do you think Channie will want to hang out with us again?”

“I one hundred percent think he’ll want to hang out with you again Innie.”

“And you.” Jeongin hates the thought of someone being left out, always including everyone into his life, he’s so sweet. So emotionally intelligent for his age.

“And me.” You agree because you know your son wouldn’t take any less of an answer. “Sweet dreams my Innie.”

….

“Sounds like he had a good day.”

“He really did,” you sigh. “It was really nice.”

“And you were okay?”

“I was okay.” You tell Minho. “He’s a good…”
Father. “Chan’s really good with him.”

You just pray it lasts.

For Jeongin’s sake.

______________

“I’m heading out-“

“Okay Jinnie, have a good night!”

“I’d say ‘you too’ but you two are definitely looking worse for wear.”

“Is that your way of saying we look like shit?” Seungmin doesn’t even know why he asks.

“I was trying to put it nicely.” Hyunjin shrugs.

“Go home, Jinnie.” You tell him through a yawn.

“Take a page out of your own book, Y/N!” He sing songs, slipping out of the conference room he just came in too, and heading home.

Seungmin groans, stretching out his sore back muscles from where he’s been hunched over the paperwork all day. “I can lock up Y/N if you-“

“I’m not leaving.” You state firmly. “We’re going to figure this shit out.”

“Knock knock!” You silently scream, flinching as both you and Seungmin whip your head around with panic, but relax as soon as you see the mop of Jisung’s fluffy brown hair. “Sorry, Hyunjin let us in on his way out-“

“It’s okay,” you reassure him. “Everything alright?”

Jisung opens the door further, stepping inside and revealing Changbin and Chan right behind him, bags in their hands.

“We brought caffeine and dinner?” Changbin says. “We know you guys have been working your asses off for us-“

“It’s our job too.” Seungmin reminds Changbin, as if it’s not the first time he’s had to tell him.

Changbin’s ears glow red. “Right! Right but-“

“Just accept the food!” Jisung whines.

“Here, let us-“

You and Seungmin put the papers away for now and the guys lay out an absolute assortment of food before asking to join as if they didn’t buy the food and bring it all the way here for you all.

“Where’s Jeongin?” Jisung asks through a mouthful of bulgogi.

“Home with Minho, probably in bed by now unless Minho’s decided to read him an extra book and prolonged sleep by feeding him sugar or-“ you sigh but it’s eased. “It wouldn’t surprise me if Jeongin coaxed Minho into a game of dance dance revolution.”

“He liked it then?” Chan lights up at this.

Chan bought Jeongin the game a couple weeks ago after it rained too much to go to the park after the usual ice cream, which has become a regular Saturday outing with the three of you. So you went to the arcade instead and your son was entranced with the dance machine, and Chan just had to buy your son a copy of the game for at home.

“Yeah, he loves it. Though I think Minho loves it more,” you laugh. “Jeongin’s determined to beat his high score.”

“He’ll never do that,” Seungmin says plainly. “As much as I love Jeongin, Minho is an absolute beast on the dance floor.”

“Well you’ll have to play against him for Jeongin to win, Uncle Seungminnie-“ you tease, poking Seungmin in the side with your chopsticks as he hisses and bats you away.

“So you’re okay with music now?” Changbin catches on. “I mean, if you let Jeongin have dance dance revolution then-“

“Yeah. Yeah he uh, me and innie talked about it. It was selfish of me to hold him back from listening to music, he really loves it. He found a couple of your old mixtapes you made me-“ you now direct this to Chan. “It sparked a much needed conversation with me and Innie, I’m okay with music now.” You’re trying to love it again without leaving your heart in the CD player to rotate on loop.

“You kept my mixtapes?”

“You spent hours composing them and compiling the specific songs you wanted on them, of course I kept them.” You say as if it was nothing.

Beef falls from Chan’s chopsticks at your confession. His jaw slack from shock. His ears even brighter than cheeks.

You kept the mixtapes.

____________

“Min? God sorry that meeting just wouldn’t end and-“ you look around as you approach Minho, who’s waiting out in the reception, Hyunjin sat at his desk, with no feral six year old climbing all over him. “Where’s Innie?”

Minho gestures to one of the rooms just off to the left before Seungmin’s office. You frown and go to step through the door but Minho stops you, with a hand to your wrist. “Listen,” is all he says.

And so you do.

The first thing you hear is this loud… banging? Thumping, you’re not really sure what it is. You squint your eyes as if that’ll help you listen better, and then you hear the sweetest sound you’ve ever heard.

Your son’s laughter.

“What-“

Minho lets you go so you can open the door and peek inside.

Your son is on Chan’s shoulders, as Chan sways him back and forth. Jisung and Changbin are patting the table, making some type of tune with it as Chan sings sillily.

It’s a sight, that’s for sure.

Jeongin’s laughing so hard he almost falls off Chan’s shoulders, but Chan catches him, of course he does. Stands him right on top of the table while Jisung says “Stomp!” And Jeongin does, his feet clanking on the table adding a new element to whatever they’ve created.

You close the door, letting Chan and his closest friends have this moment with Jeongin.

“Cute huh?” Minho asks.

“Yeah.” You agree. “Really cute. It’s… it’s good to see him have those moments with them.” And it really is.

“Yeah,” Minho takes your hand and squeezes it, he just knows you need that comfort right now. “You’re a part of that too, you know that right?”

“You’re getting sappy in your old age!” Hyujin hollers, breaking the moment but honestly it needed to be broken, you can’t be like this every-time you see Jeongin and Chan together. You truly were over the moon for Chan to be connecting with his son, and for your son to have that time with Chan. But it still made something swirl inside you, like completing a puzzle only to find there’s a piece missing from the box. An itch you just can’t reach.

“You’re eating tissues for dinner!” Minho shouts back before chaos erupts in your prestigious foyer.

“Dare I ask?” Seungmin slips out of his office right as Hyunjin squeals, running past him with Minho hot on his heels.

The banging of the table drums still loud in your ear along with Jeongin’s laughter and now Hyunjin’s pleas for mercy all mashing into one.

“It’s better not to ask, for your own sanity.”

“I lost my sanity the minute I started working here.” Seungmin teases.

“And I lost mine when I hired you.”

It’s crazy to think that this was never in the cards for you. Actually using the degree you worked day and night for, that you were going to move here, to Seoul but to push Chan to pursue his dream rather than doing anything about your own education.

It makes your head spin.

You wouldn’t have ever met Minho, you would have never took out a loan and invested in this building? You never would have interviewed and hired Hyunjin or Seungmin, you never would have got Jeongin into the nearest school and he that means the sunshine of Felix wouldn’t be teaching and helping your son grow.

It means that you would have potentially had Chan though, if he had wanted to keep you, if he had wanted to stay. You could have raised Jeongin together, but would he have met the others? Jisung and Changbin? Would they have become 3racha?

You can’t think about it anymore.

“Y/N!” Seungmin waves a head in front of your face. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah fine, go home Suengminnie, we have that big meeting with 3racha’s old company next week, I need you on top form.”

“I’m always on top form, stop trying to get rid of me.” He puts his hand on your shoulder and gives you a firm but yet gentle squeeze before taking his leave.

“Eomma!” And then you’re scooped right back to reality.

“Hey my little music maker! You guys sounded great.” You put on the biggest smile you can and hold your son right.

“This kids got TALENT!” Changbin tells you.

“Of course he does! It’s in his genes-“ Jisung’s eyes widen at what he just admitted.

“Huh?” Your son frowns. “But I’m not wearing jeans?”

Everyone awkwardly laughs and your son still looks just as confused if not more than before, but luckily that’s the cue for Hyunjin to shriek for Jeongin to ‘save him from the Minho monster!’ And your son’s attention goes to the next game. Racing down from you to tug Hyunjin away from Minho, who’s now upped the anti now jeongon’s involved, being as theatrical as he can.

“Sorry,” Jisung murmurs.

“It’s okay.” You try to sound as relaxed as possible. “You guys sounded like you were having the time of your life in there.”

“I don’t know how you do it,” Jisung pants slightly. “That kid is wild! Does he ever run out of energy?”

“No,” you admit through a chuckle. “No he does not.”

“I’m never having kids,” Changbin declares in that moment. “I mean, I love Jeongin and I cannot wait to be Uncle Binnie but at least I’ll be able to give him back! That is- if you ever let me mind him.”

You see the flicker of insecurity in not only Changbin but Jisung with that statement.

“I’m sure we can arrange something at some point.” You say back.

Chan mouths ‘thank you’ gratefully and you give him a smile too.

Things are going to get easier.

It is getting easier.

One day at a time.

….

“One day at a time, Channie-hyung.” Jisung praises his friend, bandmate and brother all in one as the three of them sit down for dinner that night. “I think it’s going well!”

“Me too,” Changbin agree’s easily. “Jeongin adores you, and Y/N is clearly happy for you to spend time with him.”

“I know.” And Chan does know. “But what about Y/N?”

“What about her?” Jisung wonders.

“Well, I’d like her to be able to like.. talk to me?”

“You do talk?” Jisung’s still confused.

“You can’t expect her to just…” go back to how things were, how things could have been.

“Right,” chan says, shaking himself out of it. “Right yeah of course not no, I mean she has Minho now and-“

“Chan I don’t think Minho-“

Chan continues, not listening to Changbin. “I just want us to be the kind of parents that can hold a conversation, be there for each other too, you know? Healthy?” Chan swallows hard. He wants so so much more than that. “I want her to know I’m here for her too as well as Jeongin.”

“Okay, so how do we do that?” And bless his heart for Changbin to use ‘we’ like they always do when figuring out a problem one of them has.

Because if one of them has a problem, then all of them have a problem.

“Yet another thing we. Red to figure out huh?” Jisung nudges Chan.

“Yeah.” Chan tries to laugh it off. “Yeah I guess so.”

________________

“Come in?” You call out just as you’re getting yourself organised for the day. “Oh, Chan?”

“Hey,” he sheepishly says, coming into your office carrying a coffee. “I uhh, I picked this up for you? We were grabbing one for Seungmin and Hyunjin anyway so-“

“Hyunjin has mentioned that he’s been getting his daily caffeine from you guys,” you laugh as you take the cup from him. “Thanks. You’re early today-“

“Ah-“ Chan scratches the back of his neck. “I actually wanted to catch you before your meetings started…”

“Yeah?” You hum, taking a sip of the coffee. Americano with a dusting of cinnamon. Your eyes completely light up in surprise.

“You still like it like that, right? I remember when you would pull all nighters to study and you always had to add cinnamon to your espressos to take the bitterness away and…”

He remembered that. “You remembered that?” You ask before you have chance not to let your first thought slip from your lips.

Chan remembers everything.

You clear your throat and struggle to watch as Chan’s ears tip pink as does his neck. “So uhh, what did you want?”

“Ah, right yeah I- is that your graduation picture?” Chan’s never gotten a good look inside your office, not really. His main time with you is spent in the conference room with Seungmin and the others and then his Saturdays with Jeongin, a multitude of ice cream toppings and trying not to break a hip going down the worlds fastest playground slide.

“Yeah..”

Chan scoops up the photo frame from your desk and stares at it.

Your belly round even under the gown, your hat perched on top of your head and your smile… your smile looked forced, looks fake, your eyes wet with tears as you pose for the photo.

“How-“

“I was almost six months here, but Jeongin was a big baby, and I had a lot of water weight so-“ you chuckle. “Gave me a lot of stretch marks…”

“You… six months…” Chan’s trying to work it all out in his head.

“I uhh, I found out the weekend after you… after you left.”

Chan can’t help the slight tremor to his voice. “I see…” he puts the picture down clumsily and it threatens to topple but doesn’t.

“Can I…” Chan doesn’t believe he could ask any more from you, you’re doing enough for him, more than he deserves. Not only are you giving him a chance to get to know his son but you’re also doing your best to save his band name and everything he’s ever worked hard for. “Do you have more pictures? Baby photos of Jeongin? Can I- can I see them?”

“Yeah,” you say because what else are you meant to say? Scream at him and tell him no? Tell him that if he wanted to see them he should have been there to witness it? Maybe you would have in the beginning, when you first started figuring out things between you both in regards to Jeongin, you actually remember a screaming match in this very office not that long ago and yet it feels like forever ago. You’re sure the guilt is eating away at Chan enough without you trying to make yourself feel better by being a bitch to him on top which wouldn’t make you feel better by the way, just ten times worse. “Yeah, here.. I don’t have a meeting for another hour or so-“ you gesture for Chan to move the chair opposite your desk to beside you instead. “I have like, a million photos.” You admit with a chuckle as you go to your phone and find your ‘Innie’ album. Scrolling right up to the top and then passing the phone over to Chan.

“Here,” you say. “You can start from the beginning.”

The first photo already has tears falling from Chan’s face. It’s of Jeongin, on your chest not a mere minute after you’d given birth. You have the dopiest grin on your face as you cradle Jeongin who’s mid cry, your eyes so tired and you just looking absolutely exhausted but so proud.

“He didn’t want to come out, I was in labour for days…” you chuckle at the memory. “We tried everything, I bounced on one of them balls, ate the spiciest ramen I could find… he’s just stubborn.”

“Still is, right?” Chan teases as he wipes his face.

“He gets that from you,”

“I was about to say the same thing,”

Chan continues to swipe through the photos. One by one, dozens and dozens. Jeongin coming home from the hospital. Jeongin bottle feeding. Jeongin mid yawn. Jeongin’s first smile. Jeongin having tummy time. Jeongin very proudly mid-peeing all over you. There’s videos in the folder too, Jeongin rolling over. Jeongin standing up with the held of a coffee table.

“Innie! Look at the camera!” Comes your voice.

“Iyen-ah!” Minho’s voice rings through and Chan watches as the baby, maybe eight months old, turns at the voice.

“Ha!” the camera swirls to a triumphant Minho, scooping up the eight month old and bouncing him around. “My precious Innie-“

Jeongin’s first fit of giggles.

Jeongin trying solid food for the first time.

Jeongin saying, “Eomma!”

“I can’t believe I missed all of this God-“ Chan sniffles.

“It’s not your fault,” you try. “You didn’t know about him.”

“I should have been there.” Chan says, passing you back your phone and turning to you. “I should have been there! I never should have-“ left.

“I can send you the photos if you like? The videos too? Hell the whole file-“

“Would you? Please?”

“Yeah, yeah of course.”
You can’t help yourself, you reach out and Chan takes a sharp and loud inhale as your fingertips caress his face to rid them of his tears.

You lock eyes, and you don’t know whether to cry, be sick, laugh or…

Fuck. You pull back as if burned, even pushing your desk chair back a bit.

“I should get ready. I have a client due any minute and Seungmin’s bound to be expecting you by now-“

“Sorry, yes of course I’ll get out of your hair.” Chan’s chair tumbles behind him as he shoot’s up too. His face on absolute fire, his cheek flaming from your touch, desperate to feel you once again.

“Thanks for the coffee,” you say, it’s probably cold by now.

You can only fully breathe again once Chan is out of the office, door closing behind him.

Your fingertips haven’t stopped shaking since you felt his soft, wet cheeks.

Were you really about to kiss him?

_____________

“Im so sorry-“ You instantly turn to Hyunjin, who’s come into the meeting without so much as a greeting or warning.

Hyunjin never interrupts your meetings.

Especially not this one, it’s the final attempt at a negotiation before you take steps further to court to fight for 3racha’s name.

You, Seungmin and the three guys in question sat one side of the room, and two representatives of their old company sat opposite you.

“Hyunjin?” You query.

“Miss Yang,” Hyunjin tries his best to remain professional given the circumstances. “I have Mister Lee Felix on the phone-“

Your eyes widen. Felix NEVER calls either. “Excuse me,” you step out of the room with a bow and a hurry.

….

“I’ll be right there…” you hang up the phone and turn to Hyunjin. “Jeongin’s sick, I have to go get him.”

“Do you want me to-“

“No, no that’s- thanks Jinnie for offering but I’m his Eomma, I need to be there when he’s not well.”

You head straight back into the meeting. “My deepest apologies, but I will have to leave Seungmin to continue discussions without me, unless you want to reschedule, something has come up that is unavoidable-“

“Everything okay?” Seungmin puts his lawyerness aside to address you as a friend.

“Jeongin’s sick, Felix just called, I have to pick him up-“

Chan jumps straight to his feet. “I can drive you.”

The previous company representatives gives Chan a quizzical look.

“You can’t drive, your hands are shaking, and you’ll be too focused on Innie so, so let me drive yeah?” Chan’s pleading with you here.

“We got this,” Seungmin tells you. Nodding towards Jisung and Changbin.

“I have no doubts in you, Kim Seungmin.” You tell him as a friend and not his boss before turning to the people who are clearly more than annoyed at the situation. “Please excuse me,” but quite frankly you couldn’t give a fuck what those ignorant assholes think.

Chan is leading you into his car and driving you towards the school as you direct him.

“You got a car seat?”

“Yeah. Yeah just- thinking ahead?” Chan says.

“Good idea.” And it was.

It makes you think Chan really is going to make Jeongin a permanent fixture in his life.

Not that you ‘doubt’ him, per se. Not anymore anyway, he’s proven it to you since day one of finding out Jeongin is his…

It’s your broken trust that gnaws away at the insecurity and doubt in your mind.

“Felix?!” The teacher is already outside and clearly waiting for you.

“He’s in the nurses office, come on I’ll take you there I- oh! Hello?”

“Hi, I’m Chan-“ Chan says quickly. “It’s really nice to meet you but is Jeongin okay? Can we see him?”

Felix blinks up at the man in question before turning to you, almost giving you a knowing look and you wonder what Minho’s told him during school pick up.

“I don’t know what came over him?” Felix gives you the run down as you speed walk to the nurses office. “He ate all his lunch like usual, and we were doing our crafting for the day when he just… he started complaining of a headache and then said his stomach hurts and so I just, I called you, but there was no answer, and I know Minho’s out of town so I rang your office-“

“Thank-you, Felix. Never hesitate to ring the office if you need me.”

“I know.” Felix says because he does. “Ah here-“

“Innie!” You coo, coming straight over to pull your bundle of joy into a hug. He doesn’t feel warm, no temperature which is good. Maybe slightly pale, but he looks okay.

“Hey bud-“

“Channie?!” Jeongin does a complete one eighty, absolutely ecstatic to see him. “You’re here?!”

“Yeah? Yeah I was with your Eomma when Mister Lee rang to say you weren’t feeling well, so I drove her here. I’ll take you guys home okay?”

“In your car?!”

You take a step back from Jeongin as Chan comes beside him, continuing their conversation.

“He barely said a word the last hour-“ Felix doesn’t understand. “And now he’s all lit up like a Christmas tree.”

“Chan just has that affect on people I guess.” you sigh as you watch the two of them.

“I’m sure he does,” Felix says now enough for only you to hear, making you roll your eyes and attempt o frown as felix laughs at his own insinuation.

“Well, I hope you feel better soon Jeongin okay? I hope to see you Monday morning back to your usual self!”

“Thanks Felix,” you say genuinely.

“Thanks.” Chan says as he holds his son tight, lifting him ready to carry him back to the car eventhough Jeongin has two working legs. “It was nice to meet you,”

“You too.” Felix smiles broadly. “Nice to know there’s another Aussie around, maybe we can finally get Y/N to eat marmite together.”

“Good luck with that,” chan grumbles. “I tried for years and she refused…”

“I draw the line at marmite, though I’ll happily indulge in Tim-tams!” You continue the discussion as if unfazed by the talk of the past.

Felix laughs and the three of you head on your way.

Jeongin’s asleep all buckled into the car seat as Chan drives you back to yours and Minho’s place.

“Maybe he really isn’t feeling good, he never sleeps in the middle of the day like this..” you say concerned.

“Would you rather I drive us to a hospital?”

“Let’s get him home, it might be comforting to be there when he wakes, see how he feels then and then we can figure it out-“

“We?”

“Unless you need to head back to the meeting? You probably should be there, I just thought-“

“No! No I mean,” Chan hushes himself. “I want to stay, I wasn’t sure if I was allowed too.”

“Your son is unwell. Why would I want you to leave? I’ve never-“ wanted you to leave. “Take the next right and then it’s just around the corner.”

……

“So where’s Minho?” Chan wonders, he’d carried and put Jeongin into put still sleeping luckily, the boy clearly needing the rest as you had made a quick lunch for both you and Chan and started some porridge on the stove top for Jeongin’s stomach for when he wakes.

“Visiting his parents, they’re actually having Jeongin next weekend so he just wanted to check in with them.”

“His parents?”

“Yeah, Jeongin basically accepts them as his grandparents and Minho’s mother makes the most of being called Halmeoni and Minho’s dad will take Innie fishing while he’s there. They don’t have him that often I… I have a hard time letting him go, if I’m honest.”

“It’s understandable.” Chan tells you. “I’m glad he has them, though. Grandparents…” Chan’s own parents halfway across the globe and yours nonexistent. Chan remembers the first and only time they met your parents, your mother degraded you from the second you and Chan stepped foot in their home to the second he left.

You were done after that.

Chan was done after his greeting to them. Already disliking them from how unsupportive they were of their daughter, wanting her to take an interest in medicine like her own father rather than law. As if being a lawyer for fucks sake wouldn’t be good enough.

You sure showed them.

“Me too,” you admit. “Have you told your parents? About Innie?”

“I… I want too. But then they’d want to fly out as soon as possible, and we still haven’t…” told Jeongin that in his father. “So, you know…”

“Sorry.” You sigh. “We should tell him, let’s just, let me just get him well first okay?”

“Really?” Chan says carefully, searching your face for the answer. “You’re ready to tell him?”

“Do you plan on leaving?”

Chan puts his plate of food down and turns to you. He never planned on leaving the first time. He never planned on this. He never planned to give up the love of his life in hopes it meant she would be able to flourish without the hindrance of Chan. “No.” He says firmly. “No I don’t. I never-“

“Never say never, I… Chan I wouldn’t be able to go through it again, let alone Jeongin having to deal with you leaving-“

“I’m not leaving.”

“Chan-“

“I’m. Not. Leaving. I’ll remind you every day for as long as I have too. I want to be a permanent fixture in Jeongin’s life.” And yours. “For as long as you’ll let me.” Please say forever. “I know that you won’t trust me yet, and I don’t blame you for that. But I’m going to prove it, just like I first told you I would.”

“You have, so far…”

Chan nods. “I’ll keep proving it.”

“Okay.” And your mind longs to believe him. Your heart, too.

…..

“There’s my guy!” You lift sleepy jeongin up as he comes into the living room, school uniform crinkled and rubbing his tired eyes. “How’re you feeling baby?”

“Where’s Chan?”

“He just went back to his place to grab a couple things and then he’s coming here. He’s going to stay the night since Minho’s not here. He wanted to make sure he was here if you needed anything. Is that okay?”

Jeongin sleepily nods.

His first thought was Chan.

You melt. “Want some porridge? I’ll sprinkle some brown sugar on top to make it nice and sweet?”

Jeongin nods sluggishly and you set up the television, playing his favourite show while he eats on the settee rather than at the table, a special treat since he isn’t feeling his best.

“You want to tell me what hurts baby? Or what’s going on?”

Jeongin mumbles something through a mouthful of porridge you don’t understand, but you wait patiently as he fumbles, holding the bowl and rummaging through his trouser pocket until he pulls out a piece of paper, all crumpled up and passes it over to you.

You open the piece of paper and you genuinely think the room starts to spin.

It’s for ‘family day’ at school.

“Did you think I wouldn’t come Innie?” Your voice wobbles as you speak. “Because you know I’ll come-“

“No,” Jeongin continues to mumble, his usual confidence diminished. “I… Eomma, I know I have a lot of Uncles, but… but why don’t I have an Appa?”

You hear a loud gasp from behind you the second the question Jeongin leaves your lips, and you just know Chan’s there, back.

Because he came back.

He walked out the door, saying he’d be back.

And he did.

He came back.

He’s here.

For your son.

For your son that is his as much as he is yours.

“Jeongin,” you sniffle wetly, your eyes briefly flick to Chan’s. “You do have an Appa.”

……

“I’m sorry we didn’t tel you sooner Innie-“

“Don’t blame your Eomma though yeah? It was my fault. I wasn’t there-“

“And don’t blame Chan either, he didn’t know you were his until the first day he came to my work and saw you.”

Jeongin blinks, looking at both of his parents.

You and Chan on the edge of anticipation. Waiting to see how Jeongin will react to the whole ordeal.

“Does that mean you’ll still be getting ice cream with me and Eomma on Saturdays?”

“Yes. Yeah of course! And hopefully I’ll be able to work out a schedule with your Eomma to see you a lot more yeah? I even have a room at my place for you, I just didn’t know how you wanted it decorated-“

“Dinosaurs.” Jeongin answers easily. “Does that mean you can both come to family day? I’ll have an Eomma and an Appa there like all the other kids in my class?”

“If you want us both there, then of course.” Chan smiles with watery eyes.

“Will 3racha come to show and tell day?”

Chan barks out a laugh at this question. “We’d be honoured.”

“Cool!” Jeongin says. And that’s that. “Oh wait-“ maybe it isn’t. “Does that mean you and Eomma are going to get married?”

You choke on your own spit. Chan flushes. “Uhh, one step at a time yeah?”

“Okay. Do you want to play dance dance revolution?” And just like that your son’s worries melt away and he feels well enough to bust out his infamous dance moves as Chan tries to keep up with him, as if nothing was ever wrong in the first place.

As if chan has been here, apart of your lives forever, fitting seamlessly into your chaotic life.

As if it was meant to be.

….

“I can’t believe he just… accepted it?”

“Me neither,” you tell Chan that night, setting him up on the couch after both you and Chan had tucked Innie into bed for the night. “You gonna be alright out here, you can take-“ Minho’s room. Minho’s bed.

“No, no I’m fine here. Thanks.” Chan nervously laughs. “I can’t believe… I mean…”

“Kids are unpredictable, especially ours.” You smile at him, trying to ease his mind as well as your own. “I’m glad we told him.”

“Thanks Y/N.”

“Well, Night Channie,” You freeze, eyes widening. You haven’t called him Channie in so long.

“Y/N-“ and then Chan can’t take it anymore, he’s pulling you towards him and holding you in the tightest embrace.

It’s not sexual, not by any means.

It’s warmth.

It’s… it’s like finding the missing puzzle piece after searching everywhere for it just to realise you’ve been sat on it the whole time.

It’s like being home.

Chan clears his throat and pulls back. He can’t look at you. Not now he’s just had you on his arms again in the first time since what feels like forever. Because if he looks at you he’s never going to let you get to your own bed, yours and Minho’s bed.

He can’t ruin this, he can’t ruin what he’s finally getting. Stability with Jeongin, friendship? With you.

“Goodnight.”

“… Goodnight.”

______________

“You got this.” Minho tells you for the umpteenth time. “You know you do.”

“Fighting Eomma!” Jeongin cheers, making you finally smile. “You and Uncle Minnie are going to take down the bad guys!”

“I’m not a police officer Innie,” you chuckle.

Minho shrugs “You do take down the bad guys, you probably get more justice than they do.”

You smile at Minho in appreciation and give your boy a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll see you later okay?”

….

“Morning Jinnie-“

“Morning…” Hyunjin takes a steady approach. “Today’s a big day…”

And it was. Today was the day you were hoping to put 3racha’s name to them, rather than their company. Today was the day you were hoping to give them all the freedom, income and recognition they deserved, everything you and Seungmin have been working towards for months now.

Mainly Seungmin if you’re being honest. He had a tendency to ask you to sit into a meeting or get your opinion on something here and there, but you knew he knew the answers and was mainly just looking for that reassurance.

Everyone needs reassurance sometimes.

“It is.” You take a breath. “But I’m ready, Seungmin’s ready, there’s nothing that can stop us!”

“Y/N-“ Seungmin calls out to you in a hurry. “We have a problem.”

Well shit. “Spoke too soon?” Hyunjin wince’s.

“What-“ the question dies on the tip of your tongue as Seungmin’s phone screen is shoved into your hands.

‘Bang Chan of 3racha spotted with secret family!’ Is one of the news headlines.

‘Bang Chan and Yang Y/N secret love child!’ Is another

‘Lawyer Yang Y/N being used in her lover Bang Chan of 3racha’s case.’ It continues.

There’s pictures too. Of you, Chan and Jeongin, sat around a table at your local ice cream spot. Chan with his sunglasses off because Jeongin had wanted to try them on and Chan isn’t going to say no to his son now is he? They are on the top of his head during the photo, so the three of you are seen clear as day.

Your son’s face is all over social media.

“What the fuck?!” Chan swipes the phone from your hands, scrolling through the headlines himself.

“What does this mean?” Changbin now asks, clearly the three of them had arrived so that you could all head to the courthouse together.

“They can’t just… they can’t do this surely?!” Jisung asks.

“We’re idols,” Is all Chan can come up with. “You know people will.” You can hear his teeth grind together in anguish as he speaks.

“Seungmin,” you catch your lawyer’s attention.
“You know I’m not going to be able to come now right?” You pass him back his phone.

Seungmin nods. A lump in his throat.

“I can’t believe you won’t be able to come-“ Jisung says visibly frustrated.

“It would be seen as a conflict of interest now, given the news outburst and headlines.” You explain. “Seungmin is the lawyer who’s been representing you from the start anyway, and it’s his name on the files and documents, so they can’t take any of his hard work away from him, luckily.”

“So how do we fix this?” Changbin asks.

“By winning the case.” Seungmin declares.

“And what do we do about the fact that Jeongin’s face is literally plastered for the world to see?!” Chan needs to know. “I’ve just got my son into my life and I’ve broken his privacy within seconds I-“

“Chan, this really is a double edged sword here, but this happening actually works in our favour.” Seungmin explains.

Lightbulb moment.

He looks at you to find you proudly smiling back.

“It means that what they’ve done is illegal, and since there’s a whole statement put out by the company you’re trying to leave an oh it, along with the photos that you haven’t given permission too… then we can use this as our way to get out, it’s illegal to leak images of minor’s without consent, yours in particular. So-“

“So it’s either they give you guys what you want, your income earned that their holding against you, the 3racha title and all the other things we’ve been vouching to get…”

“Or they go to jail for their articles and exposure of a child, since they didn’t blur his face.”

“It’s not worth this,” Chan explains. “It’s not worth jeongin’s photos being everywhere and anywhere just so we can, so I can…”

Jisung and Changbin both agree.

And you’re right, it isn’t fair.

“I bet they figured it all out after you took me to pick him up from school last week, they must have followed us afterwards and through the weekend. They’rere desperate to win this case and want to use this against you, to push you into retracting your ideals so they can delete their statement etcetera. But even if they did delete it, it’s posted and out there now. It’s not going to be hard to find again, through your fandom or screenshots or whatnot, so it’s really only going to corrupt their company rather than save it by keeping you.”

“Good.” Chan spits out bitterly. “The worse the better.”

“I’ll celebrate to that!” Jisung cheers.

“Let’s celebrate once it’s done for good yeah?” Seungmin’s still a little apprehensive. “I really wish you could be there Y/N…”

“Kim Seungmin, graduated top of his class, the only lawyer I’ve hired basically on the spot, the only lawyer who I trust.” You look him dead in the eyes. “You. Got. This.”

“WOOOOO!” Hyunjin fist bumps the air from the back, making everyone giggle just for a second to let the pressure melt and diffuse.

You give Seungmin a firm pat on the back as he shakes himself off, gathers his stuff, straightens his tie and heads for the car. Changbin and Jisung following behind.

“I’m sorry,” Chan hasn’t left yet.

“It’s not your fault Chan.” And it really isn’t.
“They’ve exposed-“

“That you have a child, yeah. Your fans will probably-“

“If they have an issue then they aren’t my fans.” Chan says simply.
“I’m more annoyed that I couldn’t protect Jeongin and-“ you.

“Enough of that. It’ll all work out. Now get going before you give Seungmin a heart attack for being an hour early instead of an hour and a half.” You lightly joke. “Good luck today, CB97.”

Chan smiles, dimples on display, teeth pearly white before leaving, before he says something outrageous like “I love you” or that CB97 is the second best name he’s ever had in his life. The first being yours.

The minute he’s out the door you turn to Hyunjin, who’s ready to envelope you in a hug.

“He loves you, you know? I can see it.”

“You’re just a hopeless romantic Jinnie.”

“You’re just afraid of being hurt again.”

“No need to call me out like that-“

“I call it as I see it! You know me!” He squeezes you once more before letting you go. “They’re going to win today, aren’t they?”

“Yeah.” You say back. “They are.”

____________

“UNCLE MINNIE! You won you won!” Jeongin launches himself at Seungmin the minute you get through the doors of the restaurant and into the secluded room you’d pre booked and paid for tonight’s celebrations.

Because you knew they’d win regardless.

Of course you knew.

Seungmin laughs as he tries to steady himself with an arm full of Jeongin. “I sure did!”

“I knew you would.”
You say happily, giving Seungmin a hug too. “Congratulations Min, this is huge for your career-“

“Career? I have one thanks, in a law firm that I love working with my favourite lawyer who inspires me everyday and-“

“He’s had a couple cocktails already, incase you’re wondering why he’s getting all sentimental on you.” Hyunjin pipes up from where he’s sat, now receiving his own Jeongin hug.

“That’s our puppy.” Minho teases as he also takes a seat. “Where’s-“

And as if on cue, 3racha enter the room.

“Appa! Uncle Binnie! Uncle Hannie! You guys are 3racha still!”
Jeongin squeals, jumping into Chan’s arms with excitement.

Jisung breaks first, babbling like an absolute baby, pinching Jeongin’s cheeks from where he’s still huddled in Chan’s arms as thick tears roll down his face. Changbin sniffles and pointedly doesn’t look at your son but he doesn’t ruffle his hair.

Chan looks like he’s going to pass out. “Did you just call me…”

“Appa!” Jeongin repeats it like he’s been doing it his whole life. “Now I can FINALLY tell the kids in my class that 3racha will be coming to show and tell!”

Staying as 3racha and winning the lawsuit and rights to their own name was one thing, but this? Being called ‘Appa’ and ‘Uncle’ is a whole other ball game.

A whole other reason to celebrate.

The best thing to ever happen to them. 3racha or not.

….

“So you’re staying with Minho’s parents this weekend right?” Jisung makes conversation with Jeongin once the celebrations die down and 3racha have got their emotions under control.

“I bet they spoil you rotten!” Changbin joins in.

“Halmeoni says I can get away with murder in her house. I don’t know what that means, but I said I don’t think I can because Eomma’s a lawyer.”

The table bursts into an uproar of laughter.

You loved that boy with every fibre of your being. “Come on Innie, let’s go quickly use the restroom and then get ready to go home okay?” You usher him out of his chair and head for the toilets.

Minho gives it all but three seconds before he pointedly turns to Chan. “Jeongin’s staying at my parents this weekend. I’m dropping him off in the morning.”

Chan blinks. Because he knows that. “Yeah, Y/N said because we had to cancel our Saturday ice cream morning and-“

“So what time are you picking her up?”

Chan once again blinks back at Minho. “Huh?”

Minho sighs as if he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. “You mean to tell me that this will be the first free moment you could have with Y/N and the first she could have with you and you aren’t going to take her out? Wine and dine her? Give her an explanation as to why the fuck you left? Get on your knees, kiss her feet and beg for forgiveness? Confess your undying love?”

“All of the above,” Hyunjin chimes in.

“ALL of the above!” Seungmin agrees.

Chan’s mouth hangs open. “What?”

“Oh my God.” Jisung whispers next to Chan.

“Channie-hyung, you’re not that stupid are you?” Even Changbin asks.

“But I- but I thought/ you and Y/N-“ Chan is staring at Minho and he malfunctioning.

“You’re joking right?” Minho is not amused.

“You live together!”

“We sleep in different rooms! Y/N tried to offer you my room when you stayed over when Innie was sick but you took the couch!”

Oh. Chan never did let you finish that sentence did he? Too scared of the thought of being ‘mature’ enough to share a bad together. Chan would not have survived.

“But you-“

“I did not get these thick ass thighs from riding cock like it’s a professional sport for you to think I’m straight. I’m absolutely offended.” Minho huffs. “Make it up to me by making it up to Y/N!”

And chan is still in utter shock, even once you’ve come back, jeongin’s given him the biggest hug goodbye for the weekend and Chan had worked on instinct as he pressed a kiss to jeognin’s head and said his goodbyes to you aswell, you looking at him a little puzzled but shaking it off. You probably think it’s just from the long day, it’s been one, after all.

Chan makes it back to is apartment and he still hasn’t picked his jaw up off the floor.

He doesn’t know HOW he’s going to fix it with you.

But now he knows he HAS too.

Whatever it takes.

______________

“Chan-“ your eyes widen as you open the front door.

“Hi,” Chan breathes. “Can I come in?”

“Y-yeah?” You open the door fully for Chan to cross the threshold into your place. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah everything fine I-“

Minho steps out from his room, eyes on Chan like the cat who caught the cream. “Well, I’m heading out to get dick up my ass, because I’m very much gay, incase that wasn’t obvious.” Minho makes a point to wink at chan and press a sloppy kiss to your cheek. “Don’t wait up! If my plan goes well I’ll be pressed into someone’s mattress by the end of the night! I have my location on so no need to get your knickers in a twist Eomma.” Minho aims this at you. “Though you can get them thrown on the floor if you prefer-“

“Minho!” You shout. “Get out oh my God!”

Minho maniacally laughs and takes his leave, a mix of mischief in his eyes as he does so.

“He’s-“

“Yeah.” You puff out. “He’s on another planet I swear.”

“He’s really gay.”

“… of course he is?”

“I can’t believe it- I’m such an idiot-“

“You didn’t know?!” You say in disbelief.

“I thought you guys, I thought you and Minho were-“

“Wow. Wow!” You laugh a little. “Me and Minho?! That’s- I mean- I can’t even imagine myself with…” anyone that isn’t you.

“So you’re really… you’re not seeing anyone? Honestly?”

“Nobody. No one. Chan there’s only ever been-“

“Me? Say me?” Chan may aswell drop to his knees now.

“You.” You croak. “Only you.”

“Y/N I-“

“I can’t Chan.” You cut him off, like you’ve done every time you think he’s going to bring this up. “I can’t let you in again, not after last time, I can’t, okay? I- it would ruin me.”

“It’s ruining me,” Chan confesses. “It’s been ruining me since the moment I left, I never, I never should have left you Y/N. You knew it too right? Remember? I couldn’t say that u don’t love you, I couldn’t and I wouldn’t. I love you. I long for you. I- I need you.”

“No, no Chan it’s different now, we have Jeongin and-“

“And we can be a family. The three of us, we could. We can. You know- you know we could.”

“You said you didn’t want me anymore. Don’t you remember that? Don’t you remember?! It tore me down piece by piece and I have yet to build myself back up from it. Chan, back then I- if you asked me to jump I would have asked how high, I- I gave you everything I had-“

“And that was the problem!” Chan finally FINALLY decides to give you the reason you deserve to hear. “You were giving up EVERYTHING for me! And it- I couldn’t- I couldn’t let you! I didn’t deserve that, I wouldn’t/ I would have never forgiven myself if you had graduated and gotten a fucking dead end job just to try and make ends meet for me to attempt to become something in the industry. I needed- I needed you to be able to be you, to choose you.”

“So you gave me no choice? Just walked out the door and never looked back?”

“If I looked back…” Chan lets a cry escape his mouth. “I’ve never stopped loving you, I’ve never stopped wanting you. I’ve never regretted anything more in my life.
We’re both successful now, and we both got where we craved to be in life, and we have our boy. We have our Jeongin and being his dad is the greatest gift you could have possibly given me, and I’m sorry if this ruins what we’ve managed to achieve between us so far since we met again but I just… Im not going anywhere.”

“Chan-“

“No I mean it Y/N. I mean it. I’ll superglue my feet to the floor if I fucking have too. I’ll- I’ll do whatever it takes just please believe me-“ and Chan sinks to his knees, full on bawling. “Please Y/N I love you so much I-“

Chan loses all control.

You drop to your knees yourself, so that you’re right there in front of Chan, knee caps pressed against each other.

“I don’t know whether to punch you or kiss you.” You say through your own heavy sobs. “Self sabotaging, stupid, motherfucker-“

You raise your hand and Chan braces for impact, for you to actually hit him, but then your arm swings around him instead and Chan’s head is hitting the floor and you’re on top of him, face squashed against his chest as you lie there on top of him, and Chan’s arms on instinct go around your body to hold you impossibly close.

“I love you, I’m sorry, I love you-“ Chan babbles over and over again.

You pull back for second and look right into the eyes of the man you once lost.

“I’m never leaving,” he continues. “Never. Never. Nev-“

And this time, your lips make the choice before your fist can, crushing to Chan’s with utmost ferocity.

He isn’t leaving, and you believe him.

______________

“Eomma! You’re meant to step left!” Jeongin can barely scold you through his laughter, as you once again step on Chan’s toes during a battle of dance dance revolution.

“You got your two left feet from your Eomma!” Chan tells his son lovingly before wrapping an arm around you to steady you, before dipping you and pressing his lips to yours in a searing kiss right as the song ends.

“Ewww!” Jeongin whines.

“Aren’t you the one that wanted us married?!” Chan now teases. “When me and Eomma get married we’ll have to kiss just like that!”

“I’ll cover your eyes! I’ll save you my dear Innie!” Minho grabs Jeongin, spinning him around the room as your son squeals in a continuation of his laughter.

Minho moved out a couple months ago after you and Chan decided to give you guys a real go again, after you came home to his boots superhlued to the floor, his feet proudly in them, all but declaring that he would stay there as long as it would take you to believe that he wouldn’t leave again.

Jisung and Changbin took photos of his declaration for blackmail at a later date.

Hyunjin called it romantic.

Seungmin did the greatest eye roll known to existence.

Minho made Chan pay for a new carpet when he had to then cut his boots out of the flooring.

It was incredibly bittersweet, Minho moving out after being with you since you were growing Jeongin in your stomach, but he hasn’t gone far. Two houses actually popped up for sale in the neighbourhood lot long after you and Chan started dating again, and you had snatched them both up. One for you, Chan and Jeongin, and one for Minho. His own house that he’s loaded up with three cats and as much fancy kitchen equipment as he could buy, once you convinced him to finally accept the house from you. After everything he’d ever done for you, a house was measly in comparison.

But his new kids Soonie Doongie and Dori disagree, roaming the place like it’s their own personal palace and Minho’s their butler.

Saturdays are still for ice cream and park dates.

Chan now does school drop before heading to his, Changbin’s and Jisung’s new studio, only a street away from your own building, and Minho insists on picking up Jeongin so that they can blast music together and drive to meet up with everyone in one of your conference rooms for dinner with Seungmin, Hyunjin and 3racha, though you suspect a particular freckled blonde has something to do with Minho’s will to pick up Jeongin, if the longing looks and texts from ‘Lixie❤️’ in minho’s phone gives you any indication to go by. You expect him to start turning up to dinners soon.

Jeongin claims that the best day of his life was show and tell day, when 3racha came to his class to teach the kids how to play and create music.

Your love of music is back and in full swing, your car playing a mixtape over a decade old, a little scratched but full of cheesy feel good love songs that you belt your heart out too on the way to work every morning.

Evenings are spent playing dance dance revolution, reading bed time stories and watching your son foolish surrounded by his parents, uncles and a supportive teacher.

Christmas was spent on the beach, with Jeongin meeting his other set of grandparents and Minho sipping margaritas with Felix (who also conveniently went home for the holidays) in the sunshine rather than in the snow.

You know for certain that every morning when Chan walks out your front door, he’ll be coming back into it after a days walk, with you on his one side and your son on the other.

“Minho’s got Jeongin covered, maybe we should practice for our wedding day once more-“

“Channie!” You laugh as he sweeps you off your feet and placing another kiss to your lips.

Your hand wound around his neck, a diamond glistening on your left hand. Ring finger.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Fin. ❤️