Chapter Text
Nephris inhaled sharply, the tang of crisp midnight air enveloping his senses. He rubbed his temples, gazing up at the starless sky. He knew he shouldn’t feel this way, given the situation. But he did. Nothing would change that, no matter how much he tried to push the thoughts away. The image of a man with soft brown eyes and a pleasant smile crept into his thoughts. Nephris’ tail swayed happily. He made a frustrated noise, still unable to accept the warm feeling he gets from merely thinking of Gale. He’d only known him for a short time, after all. He turned, glowing purple irises seeking his sleeping companions. Shadowheart and Gale lay on their bedrolls, chests rising and falling peacefully. Two bedrolls were left empty.
“Hey, soldier. Couldn’t sleep?” Karlach whispered.
Nephris jumped, looking towards the voice.
“Karlach! Yes, you as well?”
Karlach nodded, sat on a rock, and gestured for Nephris to sit next to her.
“Yeah. Sometimes I get nightmares about being in Avernus again.”
“I’m sorry…”
Nephris sat next to her, a faraway look on his face. She looked at him with a silly smile.
“Sometimes I wonder if one day I’ll see smoke pouring out of your ears with all that thinking you do.”
Nephris looked embarrassed, chuckling nervously.
“There’s just so much to mull over. Especially tonight.”
“What’s special about tonight?”
“Well, I’m too distracted to write in my journal, for one.”
“What—Nephris without his journal? That’s unheard of.”
Nephris pushed back his white hair, huffing a giggle. The two of them looked towards the fire, distracted by the way the flames danced and flicked about. Nothing was said between them for a while, until Nephris haphazardly spoke.
“Karlach, have you ever been in love?”
A wide grin spread across her face, her flames glowing a little brighter than before. She was practically buzzing with excited energy.
“I knew it, you’re in love!” She bellowed.
Nephris flinched, nervously looking towards the sleeping companions, then back at Karlach.
“Not so loud! I don’t want everyone to wake up—“
She covered her mouth, flames still excitedly pulsing.
“Who is it?”
Nephris swallowed, afraid to say the words out loud.
“It’s…well…”
“No, don’t tell me. I think I know already.”
Nephris’ eyes went wide, skin prickling in embarrassment.
“Your tail wags like Scratch’s whenever you’re near Gale. It’s adorable.”
Nephris blushed, a hand clasped firmly over his mouth, eyes darting away.
“—I didn’t realize.”
Nephris’ tail thumped nervously against the rock, and in a quick motion he tried to stop it from moving.
Karlach shook her head.
“Don’t even worry about it. I’m sure he thinks it’s cute too.”
Nephris smiled genuinely, but it was gone in a moment.
“I think I love him—but is that okay? With everything going on, can I be vulnerable?” The words tumbled out too fast.
Karlach stayed silent, eyebrows knit together in concern.
“I think it’s best to follow your heart. Forget logic, you two seem like you’ve been lonely for a long time. You deserve to be happy.”
“Thanks, Karlach. That means a lot.” Nephris smiled, returning to his thoughts once more.
Karlach pretended to punch Nephris’ shoulder playfully.
“No problem, soldier.”
“I need more time to think. Thanks for hearing me out.”
“Alright, but make sure to get some rest soon.” Karlach said, standing up from the rock.
She stretched, rolling her shoulders.
“I should try getting some shuteye. Goodnight, Nephris.”
She took a few steps towards the campfire.
“Wait–”
She stopped in her tracks, peering over her shoulder.
“Um….If you ever want to talk about those nightmares of yours, I’m all ears.”
She flashed him a toothy grin.
“Thanks, soldier.”
And with that, she made her way to her bedroll, settling in comfortably.
Nephris got up a few moments later, deciding to turn in for the night. As he went to sit on his bedroll, he stole a glance at Gale. His expression softened, watching Gale’s chest rise and fall rhythmically. The color purple suited him well, he thought. It was one of his favorite colors, aside from blue. His eyes trailed to the brown curly locks that splayed over the back of Gale’s neck. The tiefling imagined trailing his fingers through it, feeling its silkiness. He sighed longingly, laying back against his pillow.
He really was in love, wasn’t he? How long has it been since the last time…?
He thought back to Candlekeep, the people he was involved with. There was only one he ever fell in love with…And all he can recall is betrayal. It left a bitter taste on his tongue, something he’d rather forget. The person that stuck by him through the heartbreak was his colleague and only friend, Sohvi. He missed her, wishing she came with him on his journey. She was probably safer in Candlekeep…with no tadpole in her head. He didn’t even get to say a proper goodbye to her.
A sadness gripped his heart, wishing he was back in Candlekeep like nothing had ever happened. But he didn’t belong there anymore. His intrigue in the Feywild and its magic led him to make a pact with Titania, a member of the Seelie Court. She imbued him with illusory magics in exchange for a tome from Candlekeep’s collection. He was unfortunately caught stealing, even after handing over the tome to Titania. He was promptly banished from Candlekeep, left with nothing and no one. Several years later, he was kidnapped by mind flayers and ended up here.
Hells, it had been a rough road he had paved for himself. But he was glad to have friends now, ones he could trust wholeheartedly…for the most part. He smiled, closing his eyes. The fire crackled and popped beside him, pulling him from his thoughts. He let the pleasant sounds of the night lull him to sleep, finally.
~--------~
The next morning was rough. Blinking away the tired feeling in his eyelids, he pushed himself up on his elbows. His clothes felt damp from dew, and his nose was cold. A pale blue lit the sky, the sun just starting to creep between the trees. The fire had long since died out, leaving behind charred, black shards of what was once wood. His companions were still in their bedrolls, save for Lae’zel, who was near her tent. She had an intense expression, sharpening her blade to perfection.
Nephris averted his eyes, grimacing. She was definitely not company he wanted to keep this early in the morning, and he definitely did not feel like going back to sleep. He figured he could slip away for a quick bath in the river. His companions would probably not be up for at least another hour. Taking a deep breath, he got onto his feet, knees wobbling. He grabbed his pack, then slinked off into the forest.
He distinctly remembered passing a small river on their way to camp. Using his memory as a guide, he trudged through the forest. His memory served well, as he quickly found himself at his destination. The water lazily traveled east, lapping at the rocks near the edge. Nephris made a quick scan of the area. His breathing quieted, and he trained his ears on the sounds of the forest. Nothing but the sounds of water running and the chirps of birds filled the morning air. Satisfied, he set his pack down, rummaging through it.
Hopefully there’s still some left, he thought. He produced a vile with greenish, viscous liquid trapped inside. He smiled. Still enough to last a few days. He started removing his clothes, neatly placing them back inside his pack. Now completely bare, he took the vile with him as he plunged a foot into the water. He winced, the cold stark against his warm skin. Biting his lip, he waded deeper, until just his shoulders peaked above the water. He steadied himself in the current, sitting still. Then he dunked his head underwater. He was not under for long before he came back up, whipping the wet hair from his face. Emptying the contents of the vile in his palms, he rubbed them together before massaging it into his scalp. He was thankful he found this shampoo in Kagha’s quarters. She could live without it, after all the cruel things she did.
Once he was done scrubbing, he dipped under the surface once more. The last step was to scrub the sweat from his body, which would have to be done out of water. He stepped back onto shore, water dripping from his body as he moved. It was no warmer out of water than it was in it, so he made hastier movements lathering his body in the shampoo. Once satisfied, he rinsed himself a final time. He knew a trick to drying himself off quickly. He muttered an incantation, and his hands glowed bright and hot. Due to his tiefling ancestry, he did not have to worry about burning himself as he moved his hands over his body. The water dried up at his touch. Once finished, he dismissed the spell, pulling his clothes on again. He wrung out his hair loosely, wiping his hands on his pants afterwards.
Sighing in content, he decided to jot down some things in his journal. He sat upon a rock, quill in hand. His hand hovered above the page hesitantly. He wondered if he should write about Gale. His cheeks flared pink, embarrassment washing over him. But then the corners of his lips formed a lopsided smile. His quill made contact with the paper, making scratching noises as his hand glided across the page. His brow furrowed.
Last night was a form of acceptance. I still feel in-between, scared of my past repeating itself. Despite this, I feel like I have a better sense of how I’m feeling. I think I am in love with Gale. I never expected this, to be honest. When I pulled him out of that portal, I knew that I liked him. He had his way with words, and a silliness about him. I didn’t know that that admiration would turn into something deeper. I was acutely oblivious.
I even trailed after Astarion’s coattails at first, finding him handsome and alluring. My judgment was clearly misguided. I soon found out that there was something uglier beneath the beauty. He complained every time I wanted to be kind to people, and sometimes I forced myself to be selfish and cold to gain his favor. I only did it a few times before I told Astarion to stay at camp. I just felt miserable. I haven’t brought him adventuring with us since then. It’s for the best. I’ll still help him if he needs help, but hells, I can’t stand his whining. He can feed on animals for all I care, but I’m not letting him anywhere near my neck.
Gale came as a complete surprise to me. He may be similar to me in my pursuit of knowledge, but something about him inspired me. He has a fire about him, despite the Netherese Orb threatening his existence. Something must’ve happened when he took my hand and showed me it. The swirling, hungry, mass of energy inside his chest. It was terrifying. But he let me see. Wanted me to understand the pain he was in, and how dangerous he was. How could I not help him? I hardly knew him but I couldn’t help but feel a sense of connection in that moment.
Admittedly…it was something I thought of that night. It had been a while since anyone touched me, and the feeling of his tight grip on my hand lingered like a ghost. None of my other companions had touched me. Not counting Astarion biting me….or trying to kill me when we first met.
Nephris rubbed his hand against the scars left behind from Astarion, frowning.
Now…that was technically the second time we had touched, with me pulling him out of the portal followed by him politely shaking my hand. But…this had more meaning, to me at least. Hells, I sound stupid for thinking this far into it.
He had to physically resist scratching out what he just wrote. Successfully, he pressed the quill to the paper once more.
It seems he at least likes me enough. Before he told me of the orb, he praised me for my kind actions towards the tieflings. He’s an interesting one. How does he get away with talking so highly of himself to also realizing he has damned himself for his ambitions? He’s got some arrogance but he contains it...for the most part.
And…it sounds like he’s also got his fair share of baggage when it comes to lovers, just like me. To love a goddess…I can’t imagine how awful the breakup was. I thought mine was bad, but his sounded torturous, with the way he spoke about being cooped up in his tower for a year.
“--Nephris?” A faraway voice echoed through the forest.
He and I share being hidden from the world for extended amounts of time. Nice to be out experiencing the world, for once in my life.
Footsteps approached, leaves crunching underfoot.
“Ah, there you are.”
Nephris jumped, quill scratching over his fresh ink. He looked up, his purple eyes meeting deep brown ones. He snapped his journal shut.
“--Hello Gale.” Nephris’ eyes went wide, embarrassment heating his cheeks.
Hells, he was bad at hiding this sort of thing. How could he just pretend he wasn’t just writing about him in his journal? Nervous butterflies hit his stomach as Gale opened his mouth to speak.
“Did you have a nice bath?”
Nephris froze for a moment, wondering how he knew, when he remembered his hair was still wet. He recomposed, scolding himself for being too paranoid.
“Absolutely. Frigid water helps you wake up.”
“Indeed. It’s one way to get the blood pumping bright and early.”
Nephris nodded, the two of them looking awkward. Gale cleared his throat.
“I—-apologize for interrupting. I came out here to collect you. I’ve prepared a decadent breakfast at camp, and assumed you wanted to eat with everyone.”
“Oh! Don’t worry about it, I was just finishing up. Thanks for thinking of me.”
Hells, his journal. He may have to rewrite that entire page. It’s probably smeared horribly. Nephris stood up, flashing him a grin.
“Let me just pack up, and I’ll go with you.”
He shoved his journal and quill in his pack, slinging it over his shoulder. The two of them stepped into the forest, side by side. They were silent for a little bit, with nothing but the sound of leaves crunching beneath their feet. Nephris studied Gale’s expression. His eyebrows were furrowed, brown eyes cast towards the ground. He looked deep in thought. He made an audible humming sound in his throat.
“Nephris, I’ve noticed something about you lately.”
Nephris’ heart rate kicked up.
“What?”
Gale did not meet his gaze, still looking lost in thought.
“You’ve been acting…a little odd. And I can’t help but notice you only act this way around me. Have I upset you in some way?”
Nephris’ skin prickled.
“No—Of course not. I think we get along rather well, actually.”
“Then why—?”
Gale met his gaze, confusion plastered over his face. Nephris’ chest tightened. He had to think of something fast, something that wouldn’t reveal his feelings—It wasn’t the right time, too fast.
“Sorry. I get in my head sometimes when I talk to people. We’ve become closer as of late, and I suppose I’m scared of saying the wrong thing.”
Gale laughed, placing a reassuring hand on Nephris’ shoulder.
“I assure you, you have nothing to worry about. I know how you are, you couldn’t upset me.”
Gale’s hand slipped from his shoulder, looking ahead once more. They were nearing camp.
“You’re sure?” Nephris asked.
Gale turned to him once more, this time stopping in his tracks. Suddenly Gale had both of Nephris’ shoulders, steadying him in place.
“Nephris—I enjoy our discussions. Do not lead yourself down that path.”
His intense gaze was overwhelming, and Nephris could feel his pulse hammering in his head. He looked back at those comforting dark brown eyes. He really meant what he was saying. Nephris felt his cheeks go red, as the moment lasted a little longer than he expected. Gale released him, looking away. Sweet hells…he could breathe again. Gale cleared his throat.
“Well, we’d better get back before the food gets cold.”
“Mhm.”
They started towards camp once more. Nephris stole a glance at Gale.
“Thank you, Gale.”
Gale looked back, smiling. He looked so beautiful. The smile met his eyes, and his cheeks were just a little pink. It wasn’t like his usual smile….it was softer.
“Don’t mention it.”
The two of them continued on, until they finally made it to camp. Everyone was gathered around, laughing and shoveling food in their mouths. Except Astarion, of course.
“Looks like the others have already helped themselves. Let’s hope there’s enough for both of us.” Gale grumbled.
Nephris shot a fleeting glance at Karlach as they went over to the fire, splitting what was left. Karlach was looking right back at him, and when their eyes met she smiled really wide. She enthusiastically nodded, giving two thumbs-up. Nephris smiled sheepishly, turning back towards Gale. A full plate was handed towards him. It was loaded with sausage links, eggs, and a few pieces of fresh bread. He graciously took it from him.
“Thank you. I always know it’s going to be good when you cook.”
Gale snorted, gathering his plate.
“Trying to butter up the wizard, are we?”
Nephris coughed on the fork full of eggs he had just shoved in this mouth. His face went bright red, averting his eyes.
“N-no I—”
“I’m just joking—don’t choke.”
Nephris swallowed, regaining his composure. Gale led them to a spot near the fire, close enough to the other companions but far enough for them to be mostly out of earshot.
“Thank you for the compliment, by the way. Always nice to hear that my cooking expertise is acknowledged.”
Nephris’ plate was almost completely cleared, and was finishing off the bread when he acknowledged Gale. He gave him a pleased smile.
“I don’t know if the others say it enough, but I’ll always be the one to make sure you know you’re appreciated.”
This time Gale blushed, looking rather embarrassed. He smiled softly.
“Thank you.”
Nephris finished off his food, setting the plate next to him. He sighed, trying to relieve the pressure of a full stomach. Gale ate silently next to him.
“You know, there’s a few things I’ve been meaning to ask you about.” Gale said, between a bite.
Nephris looked inquisitively at him.
“Ask away. I don’t have any secrets.”
Gale quirked an eyebrow.
“That’s a lie. Everyone does.”
“Alright…maybe a few.”
“I’ll get them out of you, sooner or later.”
Nephris rolled his eyes, smirking.
“So, what did you want to ask?”
“What led you to make a pact with an archfey?”
Nephris recalled telling him about being a Warlock around the time they first met. He mentioned fey being involved, but never elaborated.
“I’ve always had an interest in the Feywild. I’m drawn to magic that’s chaotic in nature. And things that are mysterious.”
“Well, I bet you’re glad we crossed paths then.”
“Yes, I’m intrigued, but more worried for your safety. It’s hard to look past the fact that it could kill you.”
Nephris paused.
“Though—it was interesting to feel the orb, when you showed it to me. It hurt, feeling the pain it brings you. But I’m happy you trusted me enough to—let me in, so to speak.”
“Absolutely. I had to tell you the truth. Otherwise I could’ve doomed us all.”
Gale set down his finished plate.
“We’ll need to start heading for the Underdark soon, so why don’t we continue this later tonight?”
Nephris smiled at the notion, feeling excited that Gale wanted to spend more time with him.
“Sounds great. Let’s get going then.”
With that, Nephris rounded up Karlach and Shadowheart as well, and they all set out for the Underdark.