Chapter Text
Barry was sitting in his bedroom in Joe’s house, yeah, 26 and he still hadn’t moved out, don’t laugh at him, it’s whatever, and it’s a hell of a lot cheaper too, take that haters. Barry’s hands were hovered over the keyboard, the google search homepage in front of him. Was he really going to do this? Yes. Yes he was. Oliver would love it. Even if he’d be momentarily mortified. He needed to find a website that shipped discreetly and things would be fine. No one but he, and Oliver would ever know. Besides, no one else used his computer anyway. Why was he so hesitant? He exhaled deeply and typed in his search. “Men’s lace lingerie with garter” the results loaded quickly and he was surprised at how many options there were. He clicked the top link though, a website opening up, it didn’t really have what he was looking for, so he went back and continued to click through a few more links. Copying and pasting links to the pairs he liked into a word document and writing down the names of some local stores. He was so wrapped up in his search that he didn’t hear Iris calling his name as she walked up the steps and knocked on the door.
“Barry,” Iris knocked a second time on the door. Barry was still enraptured in his search, so Iris opened the door, entering his room, Barry jumped a mile when the door swung open, and he threw the computer to the ground in his surprise, scrambling to slam it shut. Iris watched him wide eyed, and laughed at his frazzled startled state.
“W-When did you get home?” He asked, breathlessly.
“A few minutes ago, you were pretty focused on what you were doing, I called your name twice, I only opened the door cause I was worried,” Barry’s face was burning as red as his flash suit, the computer sitting in his lap and being gripped loosely.
“You look flushed, Barry Allen… did I almost catch you with your dick out?” She asked, humor lacing her voice.
“What?! No!” Barry said, shaking his head violently,
“Sure, so what was it, was Oliver giving you a show or something on skype? Because it’s not nice to hang up on your boyfriend when he’s doing nice things for you.” Iris said,
“No. I was just looking at stuff.” Iris gave him a look that said she still didn’t believe him but just shrugged and said,
“Whatever you say,” Turning to leave the room, the smirk still on her face, she wasn’t about to let this go, but Barry didn’t know that. She heard Barry let out an audible sigh and flop back on the bed. She turned around quickly and made her move, snatching the computer off of Barry’s lap,
“Hey!” Barry said, too shocked to even use his super speed at the moment.
“Iris don’t!” He said, reaching for the computer, but it was too late, she’d already opened it, her eyes going wide at the content on the screen. Barry felt his face burning even more than I already had been. His expression one of mortification and horror.
“OH MY GOD. Barry Allen… I never would’ve thought you’d be the kinky type, this is rich… this is…” Iris gripped the computer with one hand and began scrolling, cackling as she flipped through the webpages. “You kinky little minx, no wonder Oliver can never keep his hands off of you.”
“Iris! Shhh.” Barry said,
“Barry, we’re the only people here. Now tell me, have you ordered anything yet, because this neon one is a definite no-no.”
“IRIS!” Barry said, covering his face with his hands.
“Oh my god… this is so creepy.”
“What is?”
“Your blatant interest in my sex life.”
“Oh my god Barry, you and I have been talking about sex, for like, forever. When you were in college you called me and asked me the best way to give a blowjob.”
“I was completely trashed, it doesn’t count, in fact, most of the time we’ve talked about sex, I’ve been drunk.”
“Well then it’s been far too long, since you haven’t been able to get drunk in a year, so come on, we’re best friends, we should be able to talk about anything, besides, I can totally help you choose,” Barry’s blush was still bright on his face.
“You are a strange woman Iris West.”
“Thank you,” She said.
“God, I can’t believe I’m about to talk about this with my sister, you’ve got to promise not to tell anyone else.”
“I won’t.” Said Iris with a warm smile. “I promise.” Barry sighed, it would be nice to have a second opinion… he’d never done this before and he didn’t really have any experience in buying lingerie, Iris probably had some, besides, this really shouldn’t be awkward to talk about considering that at one point in his life he’d actually wanted to have sex with Iris, and well, that would have required talking about it. He shivered at the memory, not that Iris wasn’t beautiful, he just didn’t think of her like that anymore and the thought that he ever did, kind of freaked him out. He was perfectly happy with Oliver now, and he couldn’t imagine how his life would be if things had turned out differently. He breathed out a sigh and relented,
“Alright… you can help. I kinda think I need it… I have no clue what I’m doing to be honest.” Iris laughed and scooted up next to him on the bed, placing the laptop between them so they could both see.
“I honestly think you’d be better off going to a boutique that specializes in these things so that you could make sure what you bought fits, I mean we can look on here for ideas of what you think Oliver would like, but I really think it would be smart to go out somewhere, I’ll even come with you.”
“Okay…” Barry said, only contemplating it for a few seconds, deciding that Iris was probably right, it would be smarter to make sure things fit properly before buying them online, most of the time undergarments weren’t returnable.
“So, what brought this on anyway?” Iris asked, “You obviously haven’t done this before because you said you were kind of clueless,”
“It’s just… Oliver and I have been together for a year and a half now, and things are good… sure, like you said, he can’t keep his hands off of me… but… but… he’s always so gentle… and I just… I don’t know how to tell him I’m not going to break if he’s a bit… well a bit…”
“Rougher?” Iris asked, Barry rubbed the back of his neck, still blushing.
“Yeah.” He mumbled. “I just want to surprise him… I saw some stuff early on in our relationship… he had these magazines… they had men in lingerie, they were obviously used, had been flipped through a good amount of times, as soon as he noticed I’d seen them he blushed and tried to tell me they weren’t his, but I just laughed and told him it was ok. So I know he likes it. I just want something new, something that’ll make him crazy… I just want him to know that it’s ok for him to… to…well… you know…” Barry shrugged and Iris raised an eyebrow before saying,
“Fuck you senseless?” She burst out into a fit of laughter at the alarmed look on Barry’s face, his cheeks turning an even brighter shade of red, he coughed and looked away, muttering,
“Well, for lack of a better phrase…yes.” Iris laughed,
“You are too cute.” She said.
“So do you know what he likes?” She asked,
“I don’t know… I mean I haven’t asked and like I said I want this to be a surprise… I think the lace is pretty hot though, it’s what I’d find most appealing to be honest, but there’s something about the thongs that are kinda hot too… I think they’d be kind of uncomfortable though.” Iris wrinkled her nose,
“Yeah, usually they are, I’d go for the lace for the first time around at least.” Iris was scrolling through the internet, Barry had let her take control of the computer,
“I think I found a good place, we can go tomorrow if you want.” Barry blushed and nodded, before verbally answering, “Sure.”
“This is going to be great… so is this part of your whole valentine’s day plot? Cause if so I have an idea that I think will make things even hotter, I’ll tell you about it tomorrow though, right now I’m tired and I’m hungry so I’m going to head downstairs and make some dinner I’ll call you when it’s ready.” Barry nodded, and Iris closed the computer, hopping up from the bed and flouncing out of the room. Barry looked after her, wondering what the hell he wants to do.
—
“Come on, it’s right up here.” Iris said dragging him along, Barry was hiding in a long black trench coat he’d barrowed from Joe, a fedora on his head, they were walking along the streets of Central, a few blocks over from the station, a place he knew Cisco frequented quite often, and he hoped that he wouldn’t run into him. They stopped in front of a small brick building, the sign in the window read “XDRESSX” “Making fantasies reality,” Barry almost snorted, but Iris was already opening the door, the bell chiming to signal their arrival.
“Hello!” A man with spiky blue hair, a purple tee, and black leather pants greeted them happily,
“Can I help you find anything?” he said, coming out from behind the counter and up to them.
“Actually yes, my best friend here wants to find something a bit more risqué for him and his boyfriend. Do you have any lace lingerie sets? Preferably with garters.” Iris asked,
“Yes, we do,” The man’s eyes seemed to light up with delight, “Right this way.” He led them past wracks of leather, neon, and feathered bras and panties, over to the back left corner, the man, Barry had thought his nametag had said “Brandon” but he wasn’t sure, went over to a keypad on the wall and an empty space of wall opened up, leading to another part of the store. Barry looked slightly surprised but covered it up before following Iris and the man into the room, the man flipped on the lights and turned with a smile,
“This is our stock of Men’s lingerie, it extends into the next room over there, we don’t get very many people coming looking for men’s lingerie so we don’t keep it out in the main par, but when someone asks we usually open this room up for them, are you a first time buyer?” The man, Brandon, Barry had been right asked, and Barry stuttered out a “Yes.”
“You said you were looking for lace and garters? Our best selection of those will be on the left wall, do you know what size you are or would you like to go into the fitting room and I can do some measurements to tell you.”
“Um… measurements would be good.” Barry said shyly.
“Okay, this way.” Brandon said, leading him to a curtained off area, Iris following close behind,
“Are you going to just stick with bottoms or are you looking to be sized for tops too?”
“Bottoms only for now,” Barry said,
“Alright well then you can take off your pants, feel free to leave your shirt on, and just stand over there, I’ll be right back, let me grab a tape measure and a clip board.” Iris looked at him and smiled,
“Why are you so nervous?” She asked,
“Because… this is weird.” Barry complained, Iris rolled her eyes and was going to start speaking again when Brandon came back into the room.
“Alright, if you can stand with your arms straight out, I’ll get started.” Brandon came forward and wrapped the measuring tape around his waist first, then his hips, and then between his legs and around his shoulder. Barry barely managed to keep in a squeak when he felt the man quickly thread the tape measure between his legs. Brandon went over to record the measurements before coming back over and wrapping one around his thigh, where a garter would go, and then going to record that one.
“Alright, that should be it, you can put your clothes back on for now. You’re a size medium according to measurements, and your garter size is 20”, you can look around and the dressing room is right here, so feel free to use it if you’d like, please, use a sock if you’re going to try on any underwear, they’re over here.” He said, pointing to the wall, and Barry nodded, I’ll be in the front of the store if you need me, so come find me if you have any questions.” Iris smiled and thanked him this time before dragging Barry out to look at their selection.
—
“Okay you have to try on these, they’re perfect, your legs are great Barry, seriously we all wish we had them and Oliver would go crazy seeing you in stockings.” Iris said, thrusting a pair of black fishnet garter stockings at him. “Oh my god, and these are perfect to go with them.” She threw a pair of ruffled boyshorts at him and he caught them staring at them with a furrowed brow, but not having time to comment before another garment was coming his way. This time it being a pair of black lace briefs that had a large ruffle going all the way around the edge of it and embroidering across the top and bottoms of it. Barry opened his mouth again to talk but was yet again cut off by another pair of undergarments flying his direction and landing on the steadily growing stack in his arms. A mesh pair of blue boxer briefs. The next time she threw another garment onto the stack Barry didn’t even try to protest or comment, they kept coming, first a frilly red thong, even though they’d originally thought to stay away from them, a bright red jockstrap, some silver leather bikini bottoms, a pair of black and gold leather briefs, aweird looking red G-string with chains, and another pair of fishnet garters that were in red. Iris then shoved him into the changing room with a grin that was far too big to not be considered creepy and demanded that he show her when he finished changing. Barry blushed at that, but decided whatever, it wasn’t like they hadn’t seen each other naked before. Hell, it had happened more recently than Barry would’ve liked to admit, of course they were accidents, but he’d be covered up… for the most part. And he really did want an opinion. So he stripped, pulled on the sock as requested and began to put on the first garment. He modeled every one of them and Iris was convinced that any of them would make Oliver go crazy for him, but in the end told him that the black lace briefs and the black fishnet stockings were the hottest by far, so that’s what they left the store with. Linking arms with him, Iris led Barry back through the streets,
“So, is this for the valentine’s day ploy?”
“Yeah, I think they will be.” Barry said,
“We should totally take sexy pictures of you in them with my Polaroid camera and you should stick them in a box of chocolate to tease Oliver a day before he comes to Central.” Barry thought about her idea and wondered why he hadn’t thought of it himself. A smirk played at his lips this time as he imagined Oliver’s reaction. He could leave the box of chocolates at the campaign office or in the arrow cave and have Oliver almost lose his shit in public, or he could be nice and leave them at home and let him deal with the surprise in private. Either way, it was a great idea. He turned to Iris and said,
“Now this is why you’re my best friend.” Her grin got even bigger at that and she hugged his arm in happiness.
“Oliver is not going to know what hit him.”