Chapter Text
“A knife?” He asked, horror in his tone.
Hassian stared at Liviana with wide eyes. He thought he might have just misheard her, yet the sincerity in her face told him otherwise. Her hands fidgeted nervously, her face just as flushed as his. No one said anything for a while. Hassian kept his intense eyes on her, while Liviana couldn’t seem to pry her eyes from the floor.
“I—” Hassian stammered out, before his continued shock stopped him. He cleared his throat, then said with a firm voice, “There is absolutely no way I would put you at risk like that. Should I cut your skin, I would never forgive myself.”
Liviana looked up at Hassian with a disappointed frown. She understood that he was concerned about hurting her, but it had still been a prominent fantasy of hers ever since they started being intimate. Well, probably a bit before that, really. Throughout their journey of growing their relationship, Hassian learned that Liviana was much more intense than what she put out to the world. When he first met her, he assumed that she was simply a shy young woman that couldn’t socialize very well, so she stuck to her books. And that was basically it. Before their first time, too, Hassian assumed she'd be a total prude. Oh, how that was the farthest thing from the truth—Liviana had proved herself to be much more raunchy than he’d ever dreamed of.
Hassian’s lips were tight as he kept looking at how genuinely embarrassed his lover was. Despite being dangerous and full of debauchery, telling him what she wanted must have been a strong move for her to do.
Ugh, damn it, he thought, guilt creeping into his heart. Don’t look at me that way.
Hating the silence and how this entire conversation was making him feel, Hassian spoke once more to ask her a question. “Why . . . do you seem so hurt? Surely, you shouldn’t yearn for me to be so threatening during our intimacy, Livi.”
“Ah, i-it’s not the threatening that I want at all,” Liviana dismissed quietly. “Just . . . for you to have that type of control. And—and to be at your mercy under the blade.”
She felt completely ridiculous, blatantly sharing her fantasy like this. As per usual when she was sharing something, she began nervously stroking a piece of her long, raven-black hair, looking aside. Hassian watched, feeling as if he had said something cruel to her. To be fair, he had never really dismissed one of her little kinks before. Perhaps she was taking this a bit too hard?
“Please, understand. I don’t mean to insult your desires,” Hassian clarified. “You know how much I value how transparent you are with me. It’s just that, these hands have been trained for most of my life to utilize knives for skinning. And, with how much it’s been a part of my life, I’m afraid my muscle memory would enable me to . . .”
He couldn’t even finish the sentence, as the thought of slicing her open was horrifying as it is.
“I wouldn’t want to hurt you if I make a mistake,” Hassian sighed.
Liviana nodded a few times, her lips pursing. Just then, a twinkle of light caught his attention. He hadn’t been able to see it due to the subtle flare coming from the nearby fireplace of Liviana’s bedroom. Her glasses reflected most of the light from the angle he was looking at her from, but as soon as she turned the slightest amount, Hassian noticed the tears in her eyes.
SHIT.
Hassian’s eyes widened. Instinctively, he stepped closer and trailed his palms up her arms, a sense of protectiveness overcoming him.
“Why—why are you crying?” He asked, devastated at the sight. “Was I too harsh? Was it something I said?”
Liviana gasped for air and shook her head, her eyes squeezing closed. She wiped away the tears quickly, clearly uncomfortable with crying in front of him.
“U-um, no, not at all,” She trembled aloud. “I-I, I’m just—I’m just embarrassed. That’s all.”
“Ah, Liviana,” He sighed, taking her into an embrace. She didn’t hug back, but she rested her forehead on his shoulder, which was essentially the same thing, for her.
“I’m probably just emotional because I’m tired,” Liviana then said, chuckling sadly. “I apologize.”
“No apologies needed, doe,” Hassian softly assured, pulling back and sweeping a few stray hairs from her face. “I’ll change into more comfortable attire and join you, okay? Don’t fall asleep without me.”
Liviana laughed a bit more genuinely at his sweet attempt to lighten her mood. Hassian pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead, then broke their embrace. While the hunter retreated to get his things from a part of Liviana’s dresser that he’d learned to call his own, Liviana took solace in her bed. Inside, she was still weeping out of embarrassment. On the outside, of course, she was just hugging her pillow, her legs and waist dipped beneath the covers. She listened to her partner’s footsteps and the rustle of his clothes, her mind racing. Liviana knew that Hassian loved her, but she couldn’t help but feel like he might’ve thought she was a freak. Maybe she had genuinely taken it too far with her suggestion tonight.
With a deep purr in his throat, Hassian climbed into bed. He laid down against Liviana’s back, curling an arm around her waist. There was a bit of tension between them despite how close they were cuddling up; Hassian had a sneaking suspicion that Liviana was not just upset due to exhaustion. He wasn’t the best at reading people, after all. Maybe he would ask about it tomorrow—actually, after making her cry, he probably shouldn’t.
Hassian listened as Liviana’s breathing slowed down and grew deeper. She managed to fall asleep in around 10 minutes. During those 10 minutes, though, Hassian’s mind kept drifting to the fantasy she had shared. He pictured it. Holding a knife up to her flushed skin, its steel reflecting both her terror and desire. Perhaps trailing the point of the blade down her soft abdomen. Maybe holding the side against her neck? He could recognize how those could be considered thrilling, but he wasn’t sure if the thrill he experienced thinking about them was sexual. His fantasies continued, slowly becoming more and more vivid as he reasoned how Liviana might actually enjoy something like this. He swallowed, keeping his eyes closed. Hassian imagined keeping intense, cold eye-contact with her as he slowly rocked his hips, drawing in and out of her, a specialized hunting knife pressed to her throat. His face started flushing as he thought of how her mouth would open in a silent moan at the first few thrusts, just before spilling out whimpers and gasps. He could nearly sense her squeezing around his cock, thrilled with him indulging in yet another one of her fantasies. Just then, his eyes shot open, his face a deep violet. He looked down, noticing how erect he’d suddenly become.
Fuck. I might just have to do this. But not with my current knives . . . no, I need one specifically crafted for her.
Hassian couldn’t do anything about his sudden hard-on. He told himself to just go to sleep, but it took a long while to do so—because in his head, he was already drafting the knife he had fantasized using with Liviana.