Work Text:
3:02
That’s what the clock's red numbers burn into Scott’s eyes when he wakes up.
Sleeping since Josef left has been almost non-existent, save for when his body got too tired to keep swirling thoughts in his head.
He’d barely slept alone since he’d made the move to the States, he and Josef falling into each other pretty quickly once they’d met.
Beds shared after races, passionate nights and soaked sheets after race wins, hushed whispers after bad ones.
But now, Josef’s side of the bed is cold, the sheets almost losing his scent. Scott's holding onto any last whiff of Josef’s shampoo or body wash as if his life depends upon it.
At the end of the bed, Chase shifts, resettling. Even his dog has noticed a lack of Josef’s presence. Scott will find him waiting at the door, as though Josef just hasn’t come inside yet.
It makes Scott sad all over again.
When he’s awake in the middle of the night like this, all problems are magnified. The darkness sucks all logic out of the room, churns up old conversations that Scott hasn’t thought of in years.
He thinks about moments with Josef in a new light, at 3 am. Running across a campground in inflatable costumes, eating hot wings on the grass in Josef’s backyard, playing Pictionary outside their bus with Alex and Hinch; he reviews them all in his head. Was Josef upset, then? Had he given signs that Scott hadn’t interpreted properly?
Or did he wake up one day and decide to end their relationship?
Scott isn’t sure which one feels worse.
He gets a drink with Alex the next day, Conor and James showing up in tow as usual. Scott’s worried it’ll be awkward, James the only one of the four of them who hasn’t been explicitly clear to Scott about his relationship with Josef. He expects Alex and Conor at least, now here at the end of his relationship with Josef, to tell him off. To say “I warned you.”
Scott’s pictured how this conversation might go over and over for the last few nights. It usually goes like this:
They sit down at the bar that Scott chose, clustered around a table towards the back. Hinch settles in the booth next to him, Alex and Conor across from him.
Scott opens his mouth to explain why they are there, and what’s going on with him and Josef, but Alex cuts him off.
“We already talked to Josef,” He gestures to himself and Conor.
Oh.
“Honestly dude, I warned you,” Conor chimes in, sipping his beer.
“And if he didn’t, I certainly did,” Alex answers.
Hinch says nothing, just laughs along with Alex and Conor at Scott's clearly terrible decision-making skills.
So he’s not exactly looking forward to this beer, even though Alex was quick to suggest it when Scott had asked if he was around.
Josef must have mentioned something to them because there’s a solemn air about his three friends as they settle into the bar.
Alex immediately scoots in next to Scotty, as if he could reach his apprehension about everything. It feels nice to have this solid wall of a human next to him. It’s like he can breathe again.
Hinch slides in across from him and quickly flags down the waitress as Conor sits down next to him. He feels so much more calm at this arrangement. He knows Hinch would never say anything to him, whether or not he deserved it.
“So…” Scott starts, each of them now nursing a beer, an order of fries in the middle of the table (for Hinch, the only one of them not on a meal plan, but Scott knows they’ll all end up eating them).
“We don’t have to talk about this,” Hinch says quickly, the other guys nodding, “if you don’t want to.”
“No, I want to,” Scott sighs, scrubs a hand across his face. “I just don’t know where to start.”
He shoves a couple of fries in his mouth to buy some time and feels Alex watching him.
“I imagined you all coming here to say ‘I told you so’,” He admits, not making eye contact with any of them.
“It would be pretty hypocritical,” Alex drawls, “for Conor or I to say that.”
Conor nods, “And even if we did, who among us would turn down Josef Newgarden, naked, confessing his love to us?”
Alex smirks but nods and Scott notices even Hinch nodding his agreement.
“But I’m sure you both warned me,” Scott shakes his head, “I should have listened.”
“And I should have listened when Conor warned me,” Alex shrugs, “It’s just something you have to experience.”
“Look, dude,” Conor sets down his beer, leaning back in the booth, “I’ve known Josef since I was a kid. And even now, if he came to me and wanted to try again, I would.”
Hinch raises an eyebrow, “Clearly I need to get in on the action.”
Someone, probably Alex, kicks him under the table, and Hinch yelps, returns to sipping his beer quietly.
“Well, I’m out of the way now,” Scott sighs, “He’s all yours.”
“Nah, I think there should be at least one person between the four of us that we don’t share,” Hinch replies, leaving Scott with more questions than answers.
Conor launches into a story about some other drivers that they’ve slept with and Scott zones out slightly, starts swirling the beer around in his cup.
Hinch nudges his leg with his foot, and Scott looks up to see the Canadian’s kind eyes filled with concern.
“You doing okay?” He asks quietly, Alex and Conor arguing about whether blowing someone counts as having slept with them.
“Honestly, dude,” Scott shakes his head, “It’s been rough.”
“I’m sorry,” Hinch frowns, “I really thought you might finally be the one to break through.”
The bar door slams shut, starting them all from their conversations.
Josef stands in the doorway, and Scott’s breath catches.
“Maybe you are,” Hinch says to no one, all three of the other men focused solely on the figure in the doorway, now walking towards them.
“Hey, Scotty,” Josef stops at the table, rubbing a hand sheepishly on the back of his neck, “Can we talk?”