Chapter Text
Made a little concept sketch of Degon :)
Chapter 1
Degon felt he may be…ill suited for this job.
It wasn't that he disliked it.
Being High Priest to a goblin nest had its benefits and it certainly gave him more power than he knew what to do with…but he felt his temperament a bit too soft for the tasks sometimes demanded of him.
He did enjoy his work, however.
Mostly.
Degon lived in a nest of especially wild and greedy bastards he very fondly considered his chosen family. Goblins were a lively and boisterous bunch. They were down to earth and shameless, and tightly woven as a community, despite the struggle of their True Souls to keep things organized and functioning.
His Da personally felt he lacked the …evasive skill one should expect from a cleric. Lying successfully took a certain level of intelligence that he was well aware that he did not have. Nevertheless, Da took great pains to teach Degon the importance of secrecy and self preservation.
One must never tell the truth if a lie can get you further, but keep your web tightly spun, Broodling.
As it turned out -with the exception of other true souls- nobody here was much more intelligent than Degon, so it all worked out rather fine in the end.
He might not be up to the exacting standards of his rather ambitious father, especially being that he was Drow and considered surface goblins to be little more than vermin …but that was okay.
Degon didn't have to worry about being a subpar drow when he was such an exceptional goblin. He was lovely just as he was, and Miss Absolute urged him to never let anyone make him think otherwise. All he had to do was rise to the task required of him by his Goddess, and lead Her people to glory.
Even Da, who held similar prejudices as every other Drow he’d met seemed to no longer mind the undistinguished company he’d been forced to keep for so long. They too found peace and yet even companionship with the Edowin fellow who’d been flitting between camp and moonrise for some time with him.
Edowin had been as devastated as he when the druid dragged his father off.
It had been a giant hulking thing with terrible yellow eyes and a monstrous fanged form that Sazza had called a bear. She’d been carted off over the shoulder of a human with antlers of all things. He’d been later disappointed to learn that the lovely set of prongs were merely an adornment much like the feathers and bones strung in his hair.
They had returned home to find that priestess Gut had been found in her quarters. Mauled to death in her sleep. That might have explained why Da had stank of her that morning. Da often had…strange bed habits that he preferred to not ask about.
Not long after that raid he was dragged into the rear of the temple where Minthara and two others, a human and a swirling pale woman waited. They informed him that Gut’s loss would be his gain. When Her tentacles had slithered their way through his mind and gifted him with Her voice, he suddenly knew just how dull his wit had been, even after the clarity She had already gifted him months before.
It was like scales had been removed from his eyes, a fog from his mind. And he’d known with an awareness he’d never been capable of before that he had absolutely no business being in charge of anything.
As it turned out, that suited Her purpose just fine. She had cleverness enough in the Drow woman, and the somewhat understated brawn of the hobgoblin. All She really needed was a figurehead to keep the rabble in line.
Where before he was just another, if not somewhat taller sword in Her army; now he found he could go about solving problems for those he cared for with surprising ease. They were small problems, mind. But he fell into the task with zeal nonetheless.
“I can't find my stash o’ goodberries.”
“What if the Absolute can’t hear me?”
“I bit off 2’s finger again, could you put it back a’fore mum finds out?”
They were important as any other task he may receive from his two ‘associates’. And in many cases, far far more pleasant.
Prime example was this very moment he was sharing with Klagga. He felt some kind of way about the poem he found in the abandoned village, and felt Degon the safest to ask about things like that.
It was soft as all anything, but the poem did have a nice rythem to it.
To be honest, he really shouldn't have been out in the courtyard. But much as he loved the smell of burning flesh, he was growing tired of the daily line of new devotees who simply didn't quite understand what Miss Absolute was , or what she stood for. Blind as he once had been only a few tendays ago.
Mind he didnt entirely grasp what she was either. But she had always assured him that nobody could comprehend and survive the ordeal. So he didn't feel too bad.
It was all just so boring sometimes. Being in charge was not nearly as fun as he had assumed. There were occasional days where he’d said “fuck the rules” and forgotten his tasks for the day on purpose. Minthara would take it out on him later, of that there was no doubt. But she took everything out on him. He may as well allow himself to play truant from time to time.
Today promised to be especially busy. They'd captured another one of those bear things a day or so a go, likely a summon from one of the druids and a human that Degon was not necessarily looking forward to interrogating later.
“‘Oos’at, ya fink?” Klagga spat off to one side. Degon looked up to see a small group of adventurers that he immediately felt resonate with his own mind. He shrugged noncommittally and poked at the dwarf shank, watching the fat drip into the fire while it hissed its aroma into the air.
“New batch o’ true souls.”
“You can tell jus’ by lookin’?” He folded his poem up and slipped it gingerly in his pocket. It was more care than he generally gave to his other possessions, Degon noted with a fond smile.
“Coulda spotted em wiff a blindfold on. hard to explain. I don’ really un’erstan’ to be honest.”
“Is it cuz them worm fings?”
“Worm fings?”
“Yeh. Wot they’s been putin in yer ‘ead”
“Aint no bloody worms in me ‘ead. If there was, I'd know.”
“I swears I seen it, boss. When they’s ‘ad you in the back wiff the chozens. Owsit you can't feel it in there?”
“Cam off it, mate. I think I'd bloody remember iffin’ Ol Point’y Boots stuck a worm in me ‘ead.”
He sincerely hoped they were here to assist in the running of things, there was only so much time for a round of ‘Stick da Magickz’ after a schedule as full as his this afternoon. By the time he got to the cages to play the latest batch of weave welders and sorcerers will have been carted off to moonrise for ‘re-ejjukatin’.
“Ugh-look at it. It's hideous ! What degenerate would breed with these things?”
“Careful, they aren't deaf.” the one with the stone eye chided the one beside him as they all passed through the throng of merrymaking goblins. “It can probably hear you from there.”
“I hope it can .” the elf shot him with a malicious little snarl that hid not an ounce of the disdain in his eyes. “Nasty little beasts…hmm though they do seem to throw a marvelous party.”
Degon felt heat rise in his cheeks, and he glared back, jolting his head forward and flashing his teeth with a curl of his upper lip, to which the elf made a face. Something about that pale one had his hackles raised. Nothing he could tell straight away of course.
But if Miss Absolute deemed him worthy of Her voice, then it wasn't his place to do anything other than provide for their needs and offer guidance in Her name, regardless of caste or creed.
It wasn't as if the elf was wrong, either. That was perhaps what stung. Degon was well aware that he was… unthinkable to the average Drow. Something worthy of culling. Perhaps that was why he so appreciated his goblin kin. They didnt give a flying fuck what he was. He was family, and he was fun. That's all that mattered.
His ears were quite nice according to his fellow goblins. They were slender enough, long and tilted back. His hair; hastily plaited mess of black and light grey that hung over his eyes, apparently gave him the look of a particularly mangey skunk. His nose was far too narrow and his face was elongated as his limbs. He wasn't a great beauty like Krolla, but there was more than enough tail to go around, even for him. So it’s not as if he suffered any for his unfortunate elven heritage.
He'd gotten to see himself for the first time in forever in the reflection of Minthara’s mirror. She’d guided him impatiently through his paces, ‘put him to proper use’ and had done well enough to inform him that it was his eyes; with their purple hues and dark grey scelra that she found most offensive.
“deadlier teeth than the other vermin at least." she said while lifting his upper lip with her thumb and moved it across his gums to inspect his teeth, as nastily sharp and pointed as any goblins. “Would that proper men had such a fine feature. Perhaps you won't be as useless as you look. Your breeches. Remove them.”
She stood back as Degon dropped his trousers and kicked them off to one side, trying not to let her see his discomfort.
“Xa'huuli s'ilnesa*.” she spat with disgust. “Very well, display your tongue, iblith.” Degon scowled but obeyed, sticking his tongue out when she squeezed his jaw. “Adequate. Ugly and worthless as a seventh son, but you'll do.”
“…either this thing or the corner of my bloody desk again...” she muttered to herself while her pauldrons clattered to the floor. He hadn’t understood then why it sent such a deep pulse of heat through him, hearing her say that. But she taught him well enough in time through rigorous and frequent repetition.
“You never been to a goblin bash?” the tall horned woman leaned over to speak to the elf “Ohh you've been missin’ out, mate. If you want, we can go ‘round, drink ourselves stupid and find some decent games. You ever heard of “Kickin’ Hooch”? Its where they hollow out some poor sods skull an fill it with booze, yeah? And then they kick it around so it gets nice and airated-”
The devil with the bum eye looked entirely horrified at the idea. But Degon didn't hear the rest of their conversation once the temple doors began to screech shut.
He winced, squeezing his right eye shut as pain lanced through it. “bloody…fokken…”
“Why is the human still breathing?! You were to interrogate the prisoner - ”
“You a’rrite?” Klagga leaned back a bit, looking a bit ill. “Is that worm movin’ ‘round in there?”
“There ain’ no bloody worm !” he shook his head and pressed a palm over his eye, soothing it with some light pressure. “Boss Lady is callin’ fer me.”
“I’ll get to it later. ‘M cookin’”
“We have drones for that, thinblood.” Degon groaned and hung his head back on his shoulders.
“‘S not as if we didn’ hire a scourge fer exactly this. ”
“The scourge is being uncooperative. Get me the location before the day is out or I will find another jaluk to do your job.”
“Just lemme fini-”
“Or will I simply have to begin removing unsatisfactory extremities?”
“Fine! Fine! I’m comin’." Degon groaned, “Screachin’ bloody harpie...”
“Bes’ get to it…” klagga winced, watching several veins pop in Degons forehead from the strain of it as they stood. “I hate to see you strung up over the for-yer again…”
“Oh I dunno…kinda liked hangin’ up there.” he retreated towards the front entrance to the temple and mourned his lost snack.
“You would ya fuckin’ smeg.”
Degon turned round walking backwards a moment to properly flip him off, and they shot each other matching grins.
—
“Ah! Excuse me, spare us a moment would you?” Degon turned to see the human male approaching at the head of the group of true souls. “We were directed by Sazza to find one Priest Degon, but we can't seem to find-”
“Oh tha’s cause I'm Priest Degon.” he interrupted “Sorry ‘bout that. Normally I’m a lot easier ter spot. But I'm ‘bout ter do some nasty work an’ switched outa me good duds.”
"You're the priest of this camp?" The purple bearded one looks surprised as do a few others. “I wouldn't expect an underelf to lower themselves to such demeaning pantomime.”
Degon bit off a frown before it could mar his face when the human said “underelf”.
“Not sure what kinda pants yer talkin’ bout, mate. But yeh, I'm Cleric ter Miss Absolute.” he watched several eyes search him up and down, looking rather surprised. “Degon of house Ulutar, at yer humble service.”
“I’m Gale, of Waterdeep.” the human held his hand out in a surprisingly friendly gesture from a freshy at camp. Most people didn't want to touch him at first. He loved little humanisms like that. Goblins just smacked yer arse as you passed by and asked where your mum was.
It was most welcome and Degon gave the offered hand a firm and enthusiastic shake.
“Saa'atcha, Gale o’ Waterdeep.”
“You seem…well acclimated to the, ah…customs and cadences of the locals.”
“Herh?” Degon curled a lip and lifted an eyebrow, not quite understanding.
“He said you look like you fit right in, mate.”
“Oh! Yeh, I do my best. Gots to iffin I want any respec’ from these fucks.”
“Isn't booyahg reserved for ..well goblins?”
“Yeh. A lot o’ me bruvs objected at first when I gots promoted, sayin’ I only gots picked on account o’ me bein’ ‘alf drow, like the boss lady.” Degon shrugged, “callin' it neppy...erm...called iiiit.."
"Nepotism?"
"exactly so. but I’ve found mesself surprisin’ly well up for the task.”
The tiefling lady, the elf and the other female looked like they were all having a very difficult time withholding a giggle. Gale seemed a bit strained as well. Though he was unsure why.
"Ah, half drow. And erm…the other half?” It was a give in, really. But the very idea of a drow and a goblin together like that - well it was so bizarre that Gale found himself compelled to ask anyway. “I hope I'm not being rude, but I’ve a special fondness for interspecies compatibility and was wondering if you could elaborate a bit on your parentage.”
“...wot?” Degon blinked.
“Inform us of your other species, half-elf.” Lae’zel demanded very helpfully. “What are you?”
“ Aside from a cruel accident of nature,” the pale one inspected his hands as he spoke, and Degon once more felt the hair on the back of his neck bristle. He'd heard far worse from people he actually liked . That was all normal banter coming from other goblins. But his tone was so very similar to Mintharas…
"Me mum was a goblin if tha's what yer askin'.”
"Fuck off, mate. Really ?”
“As if it wasn't obvious…” the half elf woman muttered out of the corner of her mouth.
“Swears on Miss Absolute.”
“Your poor mum !"
“ Miss absolute?” the - shit was that a devil or -it smelled human …what the fuck?
Well whatever he was, he muttered his question to the half elf, who shrugged.
"Yeeeh...she didn’ survive it. So’s i never gots a chance to know ‘er.” he looked a bit sheepishly to oneside. “But I made it. An’ here I am big an’ taller, stronger ‘n all me new mates. Firs’ time Da’s ever decided to live with a lot like this. Usually he prefers livin’ alone."
"Fascinating!” Degon was already beginning to like this Gale. He spoke quickly and didn't use a lot of words he understood, but their energy was pleasant and very catching. “I’m rather curious to know what brought you and the other underelves to amass alongside goblins, ogres and
bards of all things. It’s rather unusual for so many species with such vastly different lifestiles to coexist so peacefully.”
“Ha! You ain't lyin’. We- me and me Da, that is- got assigned this spot right out’a Moonrise. An’ this camp’s way better than the las’ place we stayed.” he smiled. “Big city under Baldurs Gate. Lotsa scary ‘uns livin down there. That was before we foun’ Miss Absolute."”
"Scary ‘Uhns’?" Lae’zel tried the word on her tongue, finding it exceptionally foreign.
"Yeh the Gates got murdery boys in the sewers. Me Da didn’ like what they was about ‘n we left quick as anyfin’. I don’ remember much but they really liked red. Aaand there was a dragon man.” Degon appeared very impressed by this.
"Muuurdery boys in the sewers'." The elf made a mocking voice. "Sounds like a load of superstitious drivel. Like vampires and garlic or wizards with notable social lives."
"Thank you" Gale cuts off the elf a little too late, giving him a somewhat stern look. "For always giving us your valuable input, Astarion."
“Any time, darling.” Degon shuffled his feet, glancing off to one side, feeling a slight apprehension at how much time this was taking. He didn't want to be on the bad end of Minthara’s ire tonight when she already had plans for him.
“You lot need somefin o’ me? I love a good chat wiff me contragration, but-”
“Congregation” Gale corrected.
“Surprised he even knows that word…” the devil man muttered, earning him a snort from Astarion.
“Yeh that” Degon said, “But erm…”
“Oh yes we were hoping you could do something to help us with a little affliction.”
“Oh I can give ya’ plenty a healin’s an’ such. But I gots a prisoner who’s not talkin’, an’ me boys ain't much fer the uhhh 'delicate nature o torture tha’ requires a skilled an’ luvin' hand.” he said, clearly parroting someone. “After that though I can see iffin’ i can’t help ya.”
“Far be it from us to keep you from your-” Gale stopped. “I’m sorry did you say ‘torture’?”
"Yeh. Got’a prep an’ then flay ‘im up a bit. Mintharas orders.” he gestured with a nod over his shoulder. “Anyone wanna come along?"
He looked at the tiefling woman, really looked this time and was fairly impressed with her tattoos. And were those - that was bloody fire misting out of her shoulders! Whatever that was about he wanted to know . And by the Absolute she was gorgeous.
“How’s ‘bout you.” he gave her his most charming, toothiest smile. “ You look like you can be proper vicious.”
“Aww thanks soldier.” she suddenly looked just a mite uncomfortable. Understandable. Everyone was when they first got here. “Think I'm gonna pass though. Bit tired.”
"What exactly do you mean by prep?" the one with chains in her plait asked. … shit , she wasn't bad off herself. Degon took a moment and felt his ears grow warm as he appraised this new batch of True Souls in earnest.
Hells, they're all so damn pretty…cept the elf. Elf looks like a fuckin dickhead.
"Oh. Heh I can’t do no damage like this. I’m too soft fer it. An’ I start ter feel bad when they gets all loud wiff the screamin’," He hugged his staff to his chest and leaned his weight into it, smiling somewhat sheepishly. "Gotta let Abdirak tan me hide fer a bit. Gets me excited fer it.”
“Abdirak?”
“Yeeeh. We gots us a scourge las’ week.” he grinned, speaking with an edge of scandal to his tone as he leaned in. “Been teachin’ me fings.”
"Really," Chains raised an eyebrow, "you're inviting total strangers to watch something like that?"
"I mean...I was invitin’ you ter help wiff the prisoner. But iffin…” Degons face ran hot. “iffin yer lookin’ to watch that bit too, I s’pose you can.”
“Shadowheart, don't you dare say no.” the elf with the curly hair - Astarion, apparently- grinned rather enthusiastically, and Degon spotted two sharp teeth in the corners of his mouth. That was kinda neat. He'd never seen sharp teeth on an elf before.
“Should be interesting, I suppose.”
“Excellent!!! I can't wait to see this.”
----
*reads over this and runs hand over eyes* bruh....whatever..sure...yeah... fine... im just tryin to get to the smut.
worst part is i was actually busting up as i wrote some of these shit jokes... so if anyone wondered if this sonofabitch has an ounce of good taste. theres your answer. lmao
*drow insult. literally means "useless snail"
Tune in next time to see a half-goblin pain slut get his ass beat in front of a crowd. kink focus will be mainly dub con, dirty talk and blood drinking.
starting off "gentle"
it probably wont be much longer than a day or two till the next update. i just gotta dot a few i's and such.