Chapter Text
Driving was normally relaxing, when for leisure or because you were heading toward a pleasant destination. Today, every remaining mile seemed to stretch on for an eternity, a pit of dread in his stomach growing tighter and larger as he drew closer to his destination. It would normally have been nice to escape the city and enjoy the mountain air, and it certainly would have been if he was not diving head first into a den of hungry wyvern.
Morrigan had apparently hired a mermaid of all things. That was so quintessentially her style – over the top and ridiculous. He would begrudgingly admit to a modicum of idle curiosity, but was fully prepared to be underwhelmed. The whole affair had devolved into something preposterously extravagant, especially by the standards of a party for children. Why did he even need to be there? They were, after all, only related by technicality.
Kieran was an undeniably remarkable child, but what did that matter? He was nearing forty and had no children; so his going made no sense, but Mythal had made declining the invitation impossible. Seeing his family, if it was indeed appropriate to refer to them as such, was not agreeable under the best of circumstances. Standing beside a pool bustling with noisy children and in very real danger of having his Antivan shoes ruined was not what he would consider the best of circumstances.
It could’ve been worse, he thought, since he had been mostly left alone… but of course, that was when Morrigan decided it was necessary to swoop in and harass him.
“Enjoying yourself, are we cousin?” Her smirk was positively feral.
He would not take the bait, replying deadpan, “I cannot fathom a more pleasurable way to spend an afternoon.”
“Tis a pity we’ve pulled you out of your solitary reverie and forced you to be around people, in the outdoors.”
“My dear Morrigan, I have nothing whatsoever against the outdoors, even when accompanied by the potent aroma of chlorinated water.”
“Not to mention what would happen if it got on your shoes.”
She winked at him, actually winked! Her gall was unnerving, and he was about to make a retort of his own when the elusive mermaid made her appearance. It was… a startling sight – she was all glowing skin, long, cascading hair, and a glittering tail . While she would have been a striking picture on her own, she happened also to be carried by a hulking, one-eyed qunari . The whole of the spectacle left him quite without words.
Morrigan had, at some point, scampered away, and it wasn’t until her eyes met his for the briefest of moments that he realized he was staring, barely breathing. How was this possible? She couldn’t be a real mermaid, of course, but she certainly was extraordinary, if not legitimately magical. As everyone else became aware of her entrance and took in the sight of her, everything fell silent – people stopped talking and children stopped playing – all anyone could do was stare in awe. Even Morrigan was impressed, though she’d never admit it. If they had ventured to guess what a mermaid performer might look like, she had clearly defied expectation.
When the pair approached the side of pool, the qunari knelt down and gently deposited his cargo on the marble edge, her tail going underneath the water up to about where her knees would be. From this perch, she looked like a queen surveying her kingdom, and she might as well have been, for the way everyone reacted to her.
“Well hello my darling little ones!” She cooed and waved to the children, “My name is Lyna, and I’ve traveled from across the Waking Sea in hopes that a very special boy will let me spend his birthday with him. What do you say Kieran, would you like to swim with me?” While speaking, she had been making dramatic, sweeping gestures with her arms that should’ve looked absurd, but were somehow enchanting… it was a marvel. She was a marvel.
Kieran waded forward curiously and tilted his head sideways, examining the strange woman before him. “Why do you have a tail?”
She giggled, and Solas had determined that he was in fact losing his mind.
“Well my dear, it’s much easier to swim with fins than with feet!”
“Hmm,” He responded, thoughtfully, “Then I think I would like to have a tail.”
She lifted herself off the edge, and eased into the water, swimming towards him. “And perhaps one day you shall!” She smiled and gave him a little splash, before darting into the water and swimming towards the increasingly excited group of children at the other end.
He was watching, almost in a daze, and it was only a matter of time before Morrigan picked up on his piqued interest and felt behooved to antagonize him. Sooner, rather than later, as was usually the case. A self-fulfilling prophecy that thought had been, as that was exactly when she chose to appear.
“It appears as though you’re enjoying the party after all, cousin. ”
“Did I not already say I could think of nothing more pleasurable?”
“Hmm. Well, I for one cannot wait to see the look on Andruil’s face when she hears you’ve been gaping at the help.”
He looked her in the eyes and she was beaming at him, so certain she’d gained some kind of upper hand. Of all the conniving, underhanded… but she had an Achilles heel.
“Were you not so busy surveilling me, you might’ve noticed how taken Kieran is with the help . One would be inclined to think, that as his adoring mother, you would take no course of action that might lead to upsetting him.”
And there it was, that glimmer of feline satisfaction turned instantly into a scowl. He could not say he wasn’t enjoying himself; that was a first.
The party went on in relative peace until it was time to eat; Solas had even managed to reply to three work emails. The illogical distraction that was the mermaid , Lyna she had said, had proven to be troubling but not altogether unwelcome. It was unlike him and also alarming to be so… mesmerized… no, he was just caught off guard, that’s all. Even so, it had made the time pass quickly and he’d never disliked his family’s company less, and that was certainly something .
Kieran had decided that he wanted to eat in the pool, with Lyna, and everything had begun to quickly unravel. Where relative calm had reigned for the past two hours, utter chaos was quickly erupting. Solas squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose, suddenly remembering why he had been so reluctant to come in the first place.
Because things certainly had not escalated enough, the mermaid-carrying qunari was approaching – not them, but walking straight towards him. He cleared his throat before speaking.
“You seem like a reasonable person,” here he glanced sidelong at the gaggle of bickering people to the left, “Boss is already ten minutes past her contractually obligated break, and I’m sure I don’t need to tell you the problems that come with defaulting on a contract…”
Of course, because of course. He heaved a sigh and rolled his shoulders in an effort to release some of the tension. At this point he no longer cared that his shoes were destined to be ruined.
“Yes, I understand. Thank you for your patience.”
He walked towards the pool, crouched down and used his most authoritative voice, “Kieran, I understand that today is your birthday and you want to have your way, but your friend Lyna,” here he avoided looking at her because that could only cause trouble, “needs to take a short break. After you’ve eaten your dinner, she can help you open your presents.”
Kieran frowned, but his face showed that he was considering.
“And if you decide that you will not behave, Lyna will have to leave early and you will have to open your presents alone.”
Kieran’s mouth dropped open. It appeared he had chosen the right approach, and it left him feeling oddly self-satisfied.
“Alright,” he reluctantly agreed, and Solas reached down to pull him out of the water, getting his clothes much wetter than he’d have liked. The day was turning out better and better…
As soon as the kids had begun climbing out of the pool, Lyna pulled herself up and the qunari knelt down to lift her. When he stood up, mermaid across his chest, she was at eye level and she looked directly at him.
“Thanks for that,” she smiled, winking.
She wore contact lenses, over-sized and purple. Why was he so curious of how she looked without them? As the pair made for the guest house, which had apparently been their designated staging area, he chided himself sternly. Wondering who she was and how she looked when she wasn’t dressed as a magical creature was foolhardy, but he found the thought irresistible still.
Crazy, he had to be going crazy. Food would be good, or perhaps he should simply excuse himself and leave the party prematurely? Proximity would surely change things and that was definitely for the best, but what if he was required to diffuse another such situation? He needed to speak to Morrigan or Mythal, or someone with an ounce of sense and reason. In this family he was most assuredly wasting his time. With a weary sigh, he knew resolutely that it was going to be a very long day after all.
Before dinner, he decided to approach Sylaise, who was, sadly, his best option. While perhaps in short supply of altruism, she could, at least, be counted on for her diplomacy. He might’ve explained the situation himself, but he rather preferred that someone else handle it if possible; especially someone better liked by his family.
As a distant non-relative, he had already performed duties above and beyond what even they could expect of him. No, this was not something he need be further involved in. He ate his meal in the kitchen, where he could find peace - if only for a moment.
Shouting from the other room informed him that discussions regarding presents and contracts were fully underway. He could scarcely wait for the fun that awaited him once he was again pulled into the fray. Tense fingers were already rubbing the back of his neck when Mythal’s voice silenced everyone else’s.
“There is no reason you cannot act like rational adults.” He thought his eyes might roll out of their sockets, the hypocrisy was nearly hyperbolic. “We shall eat dinner like civilized people, the mermaid will help Kieran receive his presents, and when that is done, the party will wind down and everyone will leave. It is not so difficult to figure out!”
No, of course it wasn’t difficult to figure out. It’s just that they were all such blustering egomaniacs that they could never agree on or settle anything. At least the party was nearly over.
By some wild twist of fate, the present opening went almost smoothly. Kieran, who was sitting in Lyna’s lap, seemed more interested in her than in his gifts. That was no good to the attendees, who wanted it known that their gift was the best received. She had to be exhausted, Solas thought, but she took it all in stride – the companionable smile never leaving her face. If even his patience was being tested, it spoke volumes of her restraint.
His own offering was a hand-bound, antique journal, perhaps not entirely appropriate. He almost thought he saw Lyna look at him curiously for just a moment, but it was far more likely he’d just imagined it.
Solas decided that he’d wait to leave until she had been spirited safely away. Mythal had suggested he stay the night, but that was completely out of the question. No, the long drive back to his empty apartment was infinitely more pleasant than remaining in current company. Besides, driving always cleared his head, and that was something he definitely needed.
It didn’t work though, and when he got home, took a hot shower and changed, sleep did not come easily. This was unfamiliar and uncomfortable territory to say the least. He hoped that tomorrow would see things returning to normal.