Work Text:
The day was going too well — that should’ve been Buck’s first clue that something bad was about to happen.
He’d slept in, delighted in some frankly soul-affirming slow and sleepy morning sex, then kissed Eddie breathless on his way out to cover an extra B shift.
He’d read an entire book, cleaned the house, done a load of laundry, ordered Jee’s birthday gift, and stopped by his favorite coffee shop on his way to pick up Chris from school.
It was an almost perfect day.
His phone ringing interrupts Chris’s monologue about the current drama between Paige and Penny. Eddie’s name lights up on the display. He hits the accept button and Eddie’s voice flows through the car’s speakers.
“Hey, you there?”
Buck can tell immediately that something is off. It’s echoey. Eddie’s breathing sounds wrong. He shouldn’t be calling in the middle of a shift.
“Hey, we’re just on the way back from school. Everything okay?”
Buck doesn’t miss the way Eddie’s breathing shakes.
“Hey, you two. Yeah. Yeah. Just wanted to check in on my boys. How was school, Chris?”
Something is wrong. Something is very wrong.
“It was okay. Science was pretty cool — we did an experiment that exploded everywhere.”
“That sounds dangerous.”
“No it was supposed to explode, dad. That’s why it’s cool”
“What else did you learn?”
He’s stalling. He’s keeping Chris talking so that Buck doesn’t have to. He’s waiting until they’re home. Something’s wrong.
“Hey, are you guys nearly home?”
Buck can’t breathe. Thinks maybe he hasn’t taken a breath since he answered the phone.
Chris, thank god for Chris, answers for him.
“Umm, yeah! We’re like a street away.”
“That’s good. You have much homework, buddy?”
“Yeah, a bit. Can we have pizza tonight?”
“Yeah, sure. Why not.”
They pull up to the house and Buck knows, somehow, exactly what Eddie needs.
“Hey Chris, you okay to head inside? I’m just gonna talk with your dad real quick. I’ll meet you in there.”
“Okay. Bye dad!”
“I love you buddy. Be good.”
Chris clambers out of the car and heads into the house. Buck takes his phone off speaker and presses it to his ear. He wants to be closer. He knows he needs to be closer.
There’s a few beats of silence. Just breathing. Buck breaks it.
“How bad?”
“Buck.”
“You wouldn’t be calling if it wasn’t bad. Just tell me.”
“Bad.”
“What’s - - what’s happening?”
“I’m trapped under two floors of parking garage.”
Fuck. That’s pretty bad.
“Okay. Okay. But you can communicate, they know you’re there. They’re coming for you.”
“Yeah.”
“Tell me.”
“I’m pinned by a car. Can’t move.”
That’s okay. That’s okay. He’s okay.
“Okay. That’s not great, but you can breathe. They’re coming for you.”
“Yeah. Buck. I’m bleeding. Can’t get it to stop. I don’t think - - I don’t think they’re gonna get to me anytime soon.”
Buck stops breathing.
“I’m coming to you. I’m coming and we’ll get you out, Eddie.”
“Buck. No. Please. I need you to be with Christopher. Please. Please stay with Christopher. I need to know you’re safe. I need to know he has you.”
No no no. No. No. No.
“Eddie, please.”
“I’m not giving up. I’m going to do everything I can to make it home to you.”
“But you called.”
“I love you.”
“You wouldn’t call - -“
Because he wouldn’t call unless- -
“I love you so much. Both of you. You’ve made me happier than I thought was possible, Buck. You changed my life. You saved it. You saved us.”
His breathing is worse. He’s sucking in air.
“Don’t you dare do this to me. Don’t you dare. You are not allowed to leave us. Okay? Tell me that you won’t.”
“I’m gonna try my best, baby. I love you.”
“Stop it. Stop saying that. Tell me when you get home.”
“If I - - if I don’t, you’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.”
No he won’t. No he won’t.
“No I won’t be. I won’t be ever again. You’re not allowed.”
“You will. For Chris. For me.”
Eddie’s speech is starting to slur, pregnant pauses between most words. But that isn’t allowed. They only just figured it out.
“No. No. We haven’t had enough time. No, Eddie. You’re not allowed to.”
“I - - baby. I don’t think - - there’d ever be enough time.”
Eddie’s voice fades out until all he can hear is shallow breathing.
“Eddie. Eddie!?”
“Mmm?”
“No, baby, stay awake. You have to stay awake. They’re coming for you. Talk to me.”
He hears the crack of a radio.
“Diaz, how you doin?”
“Hmm. Been better.”
“We’re coming. We’re coming for you. Hold tight.”
“Kay. Can’t… move. Will be here.”
They’re coming. They’re coming. They’re going to get to him in time because they have to. Because there’s no other choice.
“Eddie, talk to me. Tell me something.”
“Can’t. Tired. Love you.”
No. No.
“Eddie. Please don’t make me do this.”
“Mm sorry. Love you. Love Chris. Tell him.”
“Eddie. Eddie, I love you. I love you. And I’ll tell you again when I see you at the hospital, okay? And you can tell me. You can tell Chris yourself.”
“Sounds. Nice.”
“It will be. It will be. You just have to stay awake. Stay awake with me.”
“Kay. Buck. I love. You.”
And then silence. He thinks maybe he can still hear his breathing, but he can’t be sure. He needs to be sure.
“Eddie?? Eddie? Wake up, love. Wake up. Eddie, honey, talk to me.”
The responding silence is so loud that Buck is swallowed up by it.
He doesn’t know how long he waits, listens, begs, but eventually there’s a loud bang and the sound of boots on the ground. He can hear people yelling — he can’t make out any words.
A familiar voice. Ravi, maybe? cuts through the noise.
“We got him, Buck. We’re gonna do everything we can. He’s breathing, but he’s lost a lot of blood. We’ll meet you at Presbyterian.”
Buck hangs up.
He makes it inside the house, fumbles through an explanation to Chris.
Your dad had a bit of an accident at work
They’re taking him to the hospital
I don’t know how bad it is
I know, he wanted to hear your voice
You don’t have to come - - it might be scary
Okay, let’s go
It’s not far to the hospital, but at this time of day they’re battling peak hour traffic. Chris hasn’t said anything since they left the house, and neither has Buck.
He’s focusing on breathing. On getting them there safely. On keeping it together for Chris, for Eddie.
They’re stuck in a standstill gridlock when Chris finally speaks.
“If it’s bad, am I gonna have to go back to Texas?”
And Buck can’t do this right now. He can’t think about this. He just needs to get to Eddie.
“We don’t need to worry about that right now. He’s gonna wake up.”
“I don’t want to go back to Texas. I don’t like it there.” His voice shakes.
Buck can’t do this.
“Okay. No one’s going to make you. You’re gonna stay right here with me and your dad.”
He hears Chris suck in a shuddering breath.
“Buck! It’s too hot and there’s too much yelling and I don’t want to live there! I don’t want to be alone!”
Okay. Fuck. He needs to be okay for Chris. Eddie needs him to be here for Chris. He needs to be here for Chris. Chris needs him. Chris.
“Chris. Chris. I promise you. No matter what, we’ll stay together, okay? You and me. I told you I’m not leaving — I’m not leaving you.”
“You promise?”
He can barely look at Christopher — he’s seeping devastation — through the rearview mirror.
“I promise. I love you. Your dad loves you. We’re going to be okay.”
They have to be. He has to be.
There’s no update when they arrive. They’re working on him. He’s in critical condition. That’s all they know.
They fall into two of the waiting room chairs, Chris fiercely gripping onto Buck’s arm and holding on for dear life.
“You okay?”
“Yeah. I hate this.”
“I know. I’m sorry. Me too.”
Buck forgets to call anyone, forgets that anything other than Chris and Eddie exist. They just sit. And wait. And breathe. And hope.
Someone must have told Bobby — Ravi, he guesses — because at some point he comes striding into the waiting room.
“Buck, Chris. How’s he doing?”
“We don’t know,” Chris shrugs.
“Yeah. Haven’t heard. They’re working on him.”
“What do you two need? Have you eaten?”
Right. Food. He needs to feed Chris. He doesn’t know what time it is.
“Oh. Chris. You need to eat. Is it late?”
Bobby squeezes his shoulder. It would feel comforting if he could feel anything.
“Hey, it’s okay. You two stay here, I’ll bring you something to eat.”
At some point he comes back with food. Christopher picks at it, Buck tries not to throw up.
It’s late, it must be, when a doctor comes in asking for the family of Edmundo Diaz. Chris is asleep on Buck’s shoulder, whole body curled towards him. Bobby waves the doctor over to avoid waking him up.
“I’m his partner and next of kin. Evan Buckley,” Buck breathes. He looks at the sleeping child on his shoulder and begs the universe not to take his dad, too. “This is our son.”
The doctor says a lot of things but Buck starts breathing again at he’s stable.
He has broken bones and he lost way too much blood but he’s alive, and he’s stable.
He got to us just in time. Another two minutes and he might not have been so lucky.
“Thank you. Thank you. Can I see him?”
“You can. He’s on some pretty strong medications, so it’s unlikely he’ll be awake, but you can see him.”
As expected, Eddie isn’t conscious when they first lay eyes on his beautiful, breathing body.
Chris takes one look at the steady beeping of the heart monitor and bursts into tears.
Buck shares the sentiment.
Chris wants to be close to Eddie, so they set him up on the bed beside his dad. Buck drags a chair over and sits as close as he can get, rubbing soothing lines up Chris’s back with one hand and gripping Eddie’s with another.
They’re all on the edge of sleep when Eddie suddenly blinks his eyes open, looks at Chris and Buck and says “Pizza?,” then falls back asleep.
Christopher stares at his dad, then turns to look at Buck.
“Did he just say pizza?”
“I think so.”
“Okay.”
And that’s how they fall asleep. Chris curled around his dad’s less-injured side, Buck hunched over the both of them, and Eddie presumably dreaming about pizza.
•
A few days later, they’re back in the car and heading home. Eddie’s been discharged, and aside from a few gruelling weeks of physical therapy ahead of him, he’s going to be okay.
They’ve barely been in the car five minutes when Eddie asks:
“Did you guys end up getting pizza the other night?”
Buck blinks.
“You mean the night we spent in the hospital waiting room waiting to hear if you were going to bless us with your continued existence? No, we did not get pizza.”
“We ate hospital sandwiches,” Christopher adds. “And ate is too strong of a word.”
“Truly,” Buck agrees, shuddering at the memory of the cafeteria food that’s been fuelling him for days. “Wait, is that what you were asking when you woke up from the dead and said “pizza”?”
Christopher giggles. He’s missed that sound.
“I don’t remember that,” Eddie shrugs.
“I’m hearing lots of talk about pizza and yet I haven’t seen a single slice since it was promised to me on my father’s deathbed,” Christopher sighs.
This kid.
“Oh wow, the drama!”
“Alright! I was going to suggest we get pizza tonight, everyone calm down. Pizza heathens.”
“We have to order from the fancy Italian place, because dad’s alive.”
Eddie snorts.
“I see. I get crushed by a car and two storeys of car park and you get fancy pizza.”
“Well, you can have it too.”
“So generous, Chris, thank you.”
“The pizza we ate in Texas was healthy and weird. We get to celebrate you being alive and me not having to eat bad pizza for the rest of my life.”
Buck feels his grip tighten on the steering wheel. He really doesn’t want to talk about this.
Eddie looks between them, confusion set between his brows.
“I feel like I’m missing something.”
“I told Buck I didn’t want to live in Texas, if something happened to you.”
“Oh. Okay. But you wouldn’t go to Texas, bud.” He looks over at Buck. “You told him that right?”
Buck swallows.
“I, yeah. I. Kind of.”
Eddie just looks more confused. Buck really doesn’t want to talk about this.
“What? Buck - - okay. Chris, you know that I’m going to do everything I can to stay safe and not end up in the hospital, right? Because the most important thing is coming home to you.”
“Yeah.”
“Right. And that’s true. But if something does ever happen to me, you’ll stay with Buck. He’d be your guardian. You won’t go to Texas.”
“Oh. Okay. Good.”
“Yeah? That’s okay with you?”
“Yeah. Buck’s already like my other dad. I’d want to stay here with him.”
And fuck, now Buck’s gonna start crying. He can feel Eddie’s eyes on him, but he can’t look at him right now.
“Yeah. He is, isn’t he.”
•
Eddie waits a full 12 minutes from when they walk through the front door until he brings up the thing Buck really doesn’t want to talk about.
He’s set up in his bed, propped comfortably against a pile of pillows.
“Why didn’t you tell Chris he wouldn’t have to move to Texas?”
Buck sighs. He drops onto the bed. Eddie reaches out to take his hand.
“Eddie. I just didn’t want to lie to him, okay? We didn’t know if you were going to be okay and I didn’t want to lie to him.”
Eddie frowns. Buck feels his hand jolt — like it’s fighting the instinct to pull away. He grips tighter, instead.
“What do you mean? Why would that be lying to him?”
Buck closes his eyes. He breathes. He talks about it.
“Because I don’t know what we’d do! I don’t know how I’d be okay, if we lost you. I would never leave him, Eddie, never. But if he needed more than me, if he needed to be around his family, I don’t know that we wouldn’t move. I don’t know what we’d do, but I didn’t want to lie to him, okay?”
Eddie looks shellshocked.
“You’d move to Texas for him?”
Buck rolls his eyes.
“Of course I would. If that’s what was best for him, of course.”
“But all your friends are here. Maddie’s here. Bobby — Buck, you can’t - - don’t do that. Don’t leave. Stay here. You’re enough for him. You would’ve been okay. You would’ve been amazing.”
And oh actually, he can’t do this. He can’t keep doing this. He can’t stop the tears from spilling down his cheeks.
“I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to think about it, okay? I know - - I’m sorry, I know that you need to make sure that he’d be taken care of, but I promise I will. I will. But I can’t think about it. I don’t want to ever think about it unless I really fucking have to.”
Eddie’s pulling him against his good side, pressing kisses into his hair.
“Okay, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“You called me.”
“I know.”
“I thought I was going to lose you,”
“I know. So did I.”
“You asked about pizza.”
“I really don’t remember that”
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
“And I love pizza,” Chris announces from where he’s appeared in the doorway. “I also love garlic knots. With extra ranch.”
Eddie snorts. Buck wipes his snotty, teary face.
“I love you too, Chris,” Eddie grins.
“I didn’t say that, I said I love pizza, which I still don’t have.”
“You can’t love the pizza without loving the dad who pays for it, I’m afraid.”
“Ugh. Fine. I do love you. And I’m really glad you’re okay. Especially because it means we get the good pizza.”
Buck can’t help but laugh at his two favorite people in the whole world.
He fishes out his phone to get this perfect kid his fancy pizza.
“Okay, good god! I’m ordering!”
“Extra ranch!”