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This girl just started following me out of nowhere. And I'm not saying she isn't cute but I was surprised and a bit annoyed by her consistent nagging. She said that she loved me.
"Why? Why would she love me? She doesn't know me. (Well that's probably one of the reasons why she likes me.) And why love? Why not just like me? Why does she have to be so intense?" These were the thoughts that started it.
I saw this woman one day. She was so strong and confident and sexy. I felt like she was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. But there was a sadness in her eyes. And my heart broke a bit. I didn't know why she was so sad but I decided to figure it out and help her. Make her eyes happy so she could be even more beautiful. And what makes someone more happy than being loved? So I decided just to love her. No reason behind it, just because. And my heart agreed. That's how it started.
Anueng followed me around everywhere. She asked for drawing lessons, then showed up at my apartment. She became angry when I went out with Chet or my sister. And I was surprised to realize that she was actually jealous. But unlike other times when my other partners were jealous and possessive, this didn't bother me. She was so confident in her love for me. So cute and so desperate to be mine. I pretended to be annoyed but I liked it.
Ar-Nueng was so blind. She didn't want to open her eyes and accept me. I really just wanted to love her but she made it hard. But I knew I couldn't give up. The sadness hadn't left her eyes yet. And I also started to get possessive of her. For me love was like all or nothing. So even if it terrified me, I was all in. I just hoped that it won't be me left with sadness in the end.
Anueng started to grow on me. Her little smiles, her cute giggle and hugs made me feel warm. She was happy when I made food for her and she was greatful when I comforted her after a bad day in school. She was like a fluffy bunny that wanted to be stroked all the time. I was glad that someone so innocent and pure gave me her time of the day. I just didn't know why this had to be about love. She could have been a friend. Hell, she was a friend to me. Why did she want more?
Ar-Nueng opened up more and more. I saw her smile a lot of the time now. My heart grew fonder for her by the minute. I felt my plan working. But the sadness was in her still. I decided to up my game. I demanded that she kissed me. Flirted with her left and right. And kissed her on the cheek when she dropped me off at school. She was so adorably shy. And she blushed a lot.
That little minx. She started to flirt with me. How dare she make me embarrassed. And what was that? Did I just blush? Why would I blush? Ugh. She annoyed the hell out of me. This had to stop. And then came the perfect opportunity to do just that. Anueng was drunk and Folk called me. He knew I had a car and I was Anueng's friend so he thought I was safe to call. She was stumbling around when I got there. I was afraid that her mother would get angry at me for not taking care of her, so I took her to my place.
- Anueng? Why did you get so drunk? It's not like you to be this irresponsible.
Ar-Nueng took me to her place. I was drunk and I was glad because she held me close while we went inside. When she asked why I was so irresponsible tonight, I didn't want to answer. So I just kissed her instead. It was fast and passionate. She didn't have time to retreat. She just gave into me untill she realized what was happening.
- Anueng, is this really what you want?
I had enough of this cat and mouse game. Was the flirting just fun for her or did she really want this.
- Ar-Nueng. What made you think I wasn't serious? I want you. I want you so bad.
- Okay then. - I made the decision to do something utterly stupid. I gave into my desires for this wonderful young woman.
I put one hand on the wall next to her head and with the other I gently grabbed her neck and started kissing her. She opened her mouth for me. It felt like we were made for each other. Our bodies molded together like it was designed that way. She hummed softly then moaned. It was the most delicious sound. Our kiss got better and better and I didn't want it to ever end. Up until when I felt salt in my mouth. She was crying.
Kissing Ar-Nueng felt like heaven. Everything I ever dreamed of. But I couldn't hold back all the emotions that courses through me these past few days. She came up for air and tried to swipe away my tears. Then my drunken mouth got the better of me.
- I was just so tired, Ar-Nueng. You don't know how tiring it is to try to woo you. - Her face fell and I tried to correct myself. - I don't mean like a bad thing. I just got this heavy feeling because you still don't seem to like me. And I fall harder and harder for you every day. And one of these days I know my heart will get broken.
My heart bote so fast. Anueng went from flirting and kissing to being so vulnerable. I wasn't prepared for her honesty. I couldn't hold back my quiet response.
- Why would you think I don't love you.
Her eyes opened up instantly.
What the frick. Did she really say that? What should I answer. But my stupid drunk brain decided to speak for me once more before I could think.
I leaned back against the wall we stood by.
- I don't think, I know, Ar-Nueng. Your eyes are still sad like when we first met. When I decided to love you untill you became happy.
Her words tore into me. She really just wanted me to be happy. No ulterior motive.
- And what happens when I become happy, hm? Will your job be finished? Will you leave me? - my insecurities came out.
- Oh, Ar-Nueng. There is no leaving you anymore. My goal will be met. But if I leave you after, it will be my eyes left sad. - her tears began falling again. But this time I cried, too. I put my forehead onto her shoulder then after a few seconds I pulled her into me for a hug.
- I'm sorry I made you feel this way. I'm sorry I couldn't love you anymore. I'm sorry I wasn't being honest with either you or myself.
Her hug was better than kissing. I knew this meant something real. But I was waiting for her to say it.
- I love you, Anueng. - there it was. She said it.
I pushed her away only to get hold of her face. She was really crying now. I leaned in to kiss away her tears. Then I kissed her eyelids. Then her forehead. Then her chin. And finally her lips. Just one soft peck and I went back to hugging her. She clang to me for dear life.
And this is how it really started.</p>
- I love you, too. - Anueng replied to my confession. And even though she had said it before, this felt different. I finally believed her. And I knew that this was how our love solidified and our life together started. To never end again.