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Jiji was… different, from when Ken had first met him. Well, no wonder, considering Evil Eye had n't possessed him when they'd first met, but there was something fundamentally different about him all the same. Like he carried too much on his shoulders for something that wasn't his fault. Ken had a lot of experience with that, at least.
Momo tapped him on the shoulder, a tap that grew into a shove when he didn't react. "What are you thinking about, Okarun?" she asked, eyes curious. Ken looked away. The feeling building up inside him whenever he thought of Jiji—it wasn't too dissimilar to what he felt towards Momo. A warmth that bubbled up inside him, something that made him want to burst into flames if he thought about it too much.
He flushed. "Nothing! Nothing!" he replied, gathering up his textbooks and fleeing from her before she could even react. Distantly, he heard Momo shouting after him, intent on chasing him around the entire school like she'd done more than a few times, but the school bell saved him just in time. He sank down into his chair, sighing in relief.
Feelings were… interesting. He wondered what Jiji was doing, now, and shoved the thought to the back of his brain.
Ken had called him his dear friend, once. Ken wondered, with a pang of guilt, what Jiji would feel if he realised it was so much more than that for him, now.
They were friends. It should be more than enough.
And yet.
Yet.
Momo was working at her cafe, today—and Ken tried not to think of that too much, most days, in case he felt like bursting into flames again— which meant it was him and Jiji walking back home. Their paths didn't cross most days, considering they lived in different parts of the village, but it had gotten harder and harder to say no to Jiji these days, when he looked at Ken with that carefree smile that somehow still carried an edge to it.
Ken didn't want to think too hard about it. Maybe he was overthinking it, and it wouldn't be the first time—but it made little sense. He was no stranger to dissecting every single interaction he had with everyone he knew, and there was a noticeable difference in how Jiji acted now, as if he had no idea how to act. Maybe he just didn't understand how Jiji clicked, and maybe he was
Jiji was unusually silent from beside him, hands shoved into his pockets and gaze far away. Ken wouldn't have thought much of it, if he didn't know Jiji as well as he did. He wasn't one for getting lost in thought like this, more someone who preferred to broadcast every single one of his thoughts. It was surprising, for once, how calm he was.
Eventually, they came to a crossroads—the path where they usually left each other behind. Jiji said nothing as he walked past him, and Ken couldn't bear it. Jiji was already walking away, and Ken couldn't bear to leave him alone like this. There was something compelling him, something that wasn't exactly what he felt for Momo, but something close to it.
"I can come with you, if you want," Ken said, rushing to catch up with Jiji, feeling too awkward all over again. He'd never noticed how Jiji was so much taller than him, but he noticed, now, like how Jiji's shoulders brushed against his chin and how he had to crane his neck up to look fully at Jiji's lips, which were slowly curving into a smile.
"Oh man, really?" he replied, and reached out to take his hand, tugging him along as they both went to Momo's house. This is just how he usually is, Ken told himself, trying to calm the racing of his heart and ignore his flaming cheeks. Jiji was tugging him along, rambling about something or the other, and it was all Ken could do to reply like any normal person would. Which was getting harder and harder by the minute in the face of Jiji's enthusiasm.
"You know, it's been really nice to not have an alien invasion or the yokai attacking us," Jiji said, as they both made their way into Momo's house, dropping their shoes by the door.
"Don't jinx it," he replied, forcing a smile on his face despite the sudden nervousness he felt, as Jiji led them both into the guest room and sprawled over on his bed with absolutely decorum. Suddenly, he realised how alone they were—Momo's grandma was nowhere to be seen, and Momo was still at work and wouldn't be back for a while. Jiji didn't seem to notice his nervousness—he simply made a face at Ken's words.
"Ugh, don't even, dude," he said, burrowing into the bed, while Ken hovered awkwardly, not knowing where to sit. "It feels like I haven't gotten a fucking break, lately—don't these fuckers get tired of going after us all the time?"
And there it was. The crux of the matter. Ken felt it too—the fact that none of them had really gotten to rest or do anything normal since that day when he and Momo had discovered the existence of aliens and yokai at the same time and—for a lack of a better word; everything had gone to shit.
"I didn't know you felt the same way," Ken said softly, feeling as if there was something reverent in this moment. Jiji finally looked over at him, and something in his eyes seemed to light, raising a curious eyebrow.
"Of course I do, dude. It's pretty hard to think about girls when there's an existential, world-ending threat right in the tip of your nose," Jiji said, and the bluntness was so unexpected that Ken laughed genuinely for the first time since he'd agreed to come with Jiji to Momo's house. "Also— why are you still standing? Come 'ere."
And suddenly, he was nervous all over again. Jiji beckoned him forward, and Ken hesitated for a moment before had no choice but to follow him into the bed, drawn like a moth to a flame. Jiji was too interesting. Ken laid down next to him and felt the warmth between where their shoulders met and tried hard to keep his heartbeat under control. The moment felt charged, somehow, and this should be nothing out of the ordinary, but Ken's emotions were all over the place these days. This affection he felt for Jiji was new, and he didn't know what to do about it. But—there were other things he needed to concentrate, like how Jiji had looked off the entire day. The entire week, if he thought about it.
There should be some thing he could do. He hated to break the silence they'd fallen into, comfortable and Jiji lost in his thoughts again, not at all concerned with their arrangement—because this was normal, he reminded himself—and ventured out a small: "Jiji…" that made Jiji start. Ken gulped at how the movement made Jiji lean even more into him, his legs tangling with Ken's, and he wanted to die. One more second of this, and he would be nothing but dust in the face of how attractive Jiji was, how he made him feel. If space aliens weren't going to kill him, this might just do it.
"What is it?"
"You've been… quiet, this whole week. Is there anything wrong?"
Jiji rolled over to look at him, his face inches away from his, and Ken felt his heart stutter. There was an intensity in Jiji's eyes that Ken couldn't quite parse. "You aren't the first person to ask me that, actually," Jiji said, his breath ghosting over Ken's face. Ken felt a pang of disappointment.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," Jiji replied, still with that unusual intensity in his eyes. "I didn't really answer Momo when she asked, though. I'll answer you, though."
"Please," Ken breathed out, not sure what he was asking for, at the moment. Jiji was almost on top of him, and he couldn't help the way his eyes flickered to Jiji's lips. Jiji breathed out a curse, and—
"Tell me if I'm reading this wrong," Jiji said, and leaned over and kissed him.
Ken was frozen for a moment, soft lips landing on his and mind circling through a chorus of Jiji is kissing me Jiji is kissing me Jiji is kissing me that felt unbelievable to him. Ken finally found it in himself to respond when it looked like Jiji would draw away from him, finally gaining enough strength to tangle his fingers in Jiji's hair and pretending he knew what he was doing as he returned it, pressing himself awkwardly against Jiji as he did. Jiji slowly relaxed into the kiss, smiling into it, and Ken let himself relax, too, their bodies tangling even closer together if it were even possible. Jiji, at least, knew what he was doing—it wasn't long before he took control of the kiss, tilting Ken's head back and cushioning his head against the pillows. Their legs tangled more, if it were even possible, and Jiji—Jiji clearly knew what he was doing, coaxing his mouth open and with his tongue and pressing himself against Ken until he could feel Jiji's heartbeat tangling between his.
Jiji was the one who finally drew away, his smile high in his cheeks. And—oh.
Oh.
The affection felt tight against his chest, and when Jiji drew him back into another kiss, lips smiling into his, and Ken—Ken found he could get used to this.