Chapter Text
Rui was staring down his blueprints, studying every line, every function, and most importantly every stunt he had planned for their Halloween show. He couldn't hold back again, and he definitely couldn't hurt his friends. He needed to be perfect, he needed to just be good enough for once. He knew that if he presented his problem to his troupe, they'd tell him his creations were just fine, and he didn't need to worry.
Hence why the director hadn't said anything to anyone about this.
It was 4:00 AM in the morning when Rui had an idea that he finally wasn't tearing apart as much as the others. It seemed to finally work, while seeming like something Rui himself would write. He wouldn't hurt his friends this time, it would be fine.
For some reason, every time he repeated those words, everything felt less and less fine.
He ended up scrapping the idea a bit later, when he felt it was too dangerous.
Tsukasa had sent Rui a goodnight message around 11:00, and the director had told him that he'd sleep after his project finished. Clearly that didn't happen.
It was a deflection tactic Rui used more often than he would've liked to admit, but he couldn't help but feel like he was actively hurting everyone when he wasn't working. He needed to do his part as his troupe's director. On bad days, his mentality devolved into desperately trying to work away the feeling that he was going to make a mistake and lose the freedom he'd finally found.
Rui never said or thought he was rational.
The director was staring at his blueprints. He had not a single good idea came to mind, which made the excuse he used with Tsukasa feel less and less like a half truth, something the director typically used to his advantage so he could get out of confrontation.
The high schooler buried his face in his hands. He couldn't help but hate every idea he had. His mind was littered with what-if's that made Rui's stomach hurt.
"I could've sworn I was over this.." he had mumbled, staring at the photo of his troupe. —Tsukasa. He was staring at Tsukasa.—
Rui hadn't had a problem like this in quite literally a year. He hadn't experienced raw anxiety like this since his lover had gotten hurt because his robots wouldn't shut down.
Finally, Rui stood up, walking to his couch and curled up on it. He clearly wasn't in the correct state to work, so he'd come back to it later. —it had taken quite a while before Tsukasa had finally got Rui to begin doing that on his own.— Something in him wanted to reach out to his lover. He wanted Tsukasa's oh so grounding care, but the director knew that his boyfriend was most likely asleep, and would also ask questions Rui didn't feel like answering.
So, the high schooler curled up against a pillow, and closed his eyes, hoping that tomorrow would bring him better luck.
Considering his mind wouldn't stop repeating last year's mistakes, Rui didn't sleep. He tried, but he was much too awake, and his mind was playing too many possibilities.
He officially gave up on trying when his father opened the door, telling him it was time to get ready for school. He had cut himself off when he caught a true look at his son, who had sat up much too quickly to have woken up from his call. Surely enough, Rui's eyebags were more prominent than usual, and Suzume couldn't suppress a sigh. "It's.. time for school. I've got something for you at the dinner table," he explained, Rui standing up and grabbing his uniform. "Thanks, dad, I'll be right out soon," the high schooler replied, though the words were dull, like he was keeping himself together with nothing but routine.
This was going to be a bad day.
Suzume knew bringing it up might affect the future events, so he saved his bigger questions for after Rui finished practice. He placed the fork next to Rui's plate just as the high schooler sat down, hair still messy. He looked nothing short of exhausted. "Rough night?" he finally asked. His son nodded, finishing around half of the plate before pushing it away. "Easily full today, sorry," he excused, standing up and giving a small thanks.
Rui perked up at a knock on his door, answering it with still empty words.
"Ah, sorry, I just finished breakfast, I hope I didn't make you wait too long," the taller stated, closing his door and beginning the walk to Kamiyama. "You okay? You look tired," Nene commented, concern obvious in her voice. "I just stayed up a bit too late tonight, that's it. You worry too much," Rui replied, ruffling his neighbor's hair. "You say I do, but wait until Tsukasa sees you.. did you stay up all night?" the shorter retorted. "What gave you that idea?" the director mused. "Maybe it's the way you're moving a lot more sluggish, like you do when you don't sleep," Nene replied with a sigh. "Fine, fine, you win, I didn't sleep at all, but I promise I tried!" Rui argued. "Tsukasa will still have you sleep during lunch break, most likely," Nene stated as the two crossed the road.
"What wacky idea were you stuck on that had you up all night anyways?" the second year finally asked after quite a while of silence. "To be honest, I was only working for around half the night. I spent the rest trying to sleep, and clearly that went splendid.." Rui replied, careful to leave out the part where he had been too nervous about their second Halloween show to get any good rest.
Nene nodded, giving him a small pat on the head before continuing to walk at her own pace. By the time they arrived at Kamiyama, Rui could make out the sight of his boyfriend greeting everyone who stepped within a two meter radius of him. The troupe leader quickly caught sight of his lover and ran over.
"Rui! How are you? You look tired!" the shorter began, cupping his lover's cheeks and seeming to inspect him. "I had a bit of a rough night, but I can assure you it’s fine,” the taller replied, melting into the touch. “Well you don’t look fine! Are you sure this doesn’t happen more often than you tell me?” Tsukasa asked, tilting his head to the side. The director looked away, unable to hide the guilt on his expression. “This doesn’t happen all too often, Tsukasa, so there’s no need to worry,” he tried. The troupe leader sighed, standing tall to give Rui a comforting kiss. “There’s no need to lie to me, okay? I am making you rest during lunch, though,” he stated, before taking his boyfriend’s hand in his own. “Now come on, or we’ll be late!”
~
“So, does anyone have plans for the Halloween show? We’ll most likely need to start scripting soon,” Tsukasa asked, and Rui couldn’t help but look down. If he could just work like normal, he would most likely have some idea, but instead, he stayed quiet. “Idea! What if we did a twist on the potato zombies but made them actually evil instead! Or.. Wait! What if we made them vampires?” Emu chimed in. “I’m not sure we need to repeat the potato zombie theme, but vampires might be a good idea..” the director replied, hating how he tensed at the idea of running something like that again. The worry that something would happen to Tsukasa was too much. “Then what if we made a story where the main character gets transported into a world of vampires! And they’re still human so the rest of the people want to go nom!” The shorter girl made a chomping motion with her hands. “ Or.. There’s royal vampires, who need a new heir to the throne, and they summon a human to turn, but they get the wrong person,” Nene offered. “But I do like the idea of vampires..”
“I could definitely script something like that out, and I’ve gotten quite skilled at making humanoid robots by now.. Maybe the vampires have been locked away in a realm because their nature would make any human uncomfortable,” Rui added. Maybe he could get away with making a show that wasn’t harmful without seeming uncharacteristic?
“Rui!! Do you have any ideas on how to make the show all sparkly and flashy, making everything go “bawoom!!”?” Emu asked, her eyes seeming to sparkle. The director had thought too soon. “Ah.. This doesn’t seem like a show that would have a lot of stunts, but maybe when the main character falls, we could make it look like they’re falling farther than they truly are?” Rui offered, biting back the nervous shake in his voice. Nobody seemed to notice, to which the director relaxed a bit. “Hm.. maybe when the human falls there's a big explosion for visual effect!! Something that symbolizes the world changing!” Rui nodded. “That along with some lighting adjustment would make for a nice change in scenery without needing to do much.”
“We could even bring back the cellar that the human could crawl out of, like they’re getting out of a coffin,” Nene offered. The third year shrugged. “I’m not sure we need to use that again.. It might be a little too difficult to get out of in time,” he reasoned. “I guess that’s fair, but it would make for a nice visual, especially when it did so well the first time we used it,” Tsukasa added.
Rui wasn’t sure he would use nice to describe the cellar, considering his lover had been hurt, but the taller knew if he said that aloud, the troupe leader would scold him for being worried about something “as small as a past mistake.” He finally settled for avoiding the question entirely. "Nene could be one of the vampires.. You would pull an act like that off quite well, I admit,” the director stated. “I can’t see why I wouldn’t be able to,” the diva replied. “I could be like a helper to the royalty! Someone who leads the human around and shows him the vampiric ways!” Emu volunteered, and Tsukasa nodded. “That just leaves the main character,” Rui mused, before continuing. “I think you’d fit quite well,” he added, giving his boyfriend an encouraging smile. “Plus, you are a future star, after all.”
The troupe leader smiled. “Correct! I’d gladly take that position, but what about you?” The director paused, thinking for a moment. “We do need an antagonist.. Maybe a vampire that wanted to be part of the royal family, but due to the tradition of turning a human, couldn’t. He tries to fake being Tsukasa’s character, but gets noticed.” Nene nodded. “That would make a good climax, maybe it ends in a battle, to which his character wins. That’s where you could make your stunts shine, Rui,” she added. The taller nodded, albeit hesitantly. “Great thinking, would you be able to make the script, Tsukasa?” he asked. “Of course, leave it to your greatest star!”
Rui couldn’t help but admire Tsukasa’s confidence. It was something the director had never quite had, even before his life turned itself upside down.
~
“Remember, you’re sleeping tonight, okay? At a reasonable time,” Nene stated when the two separated to go to their own homes. “Of course, of course,” Rui replied, knowing he’d instantly do the exact opposite. “I’m home!” the third year called out as he opened the door, slipping off his shoes and hanging up his backpack. “Ah, there you are! How was practice?” Suzume asked, walking out of his office. “It was fine, we’ve got a plot down for this year’s halloween show, it’s about vampires,” Rui explained, sitting down at the couch. “I should be able to make it, so just tell me the dates and I’ll be there,” his father stated. “We’ll start planning that when we have a script, so be patient,” the taller replied.
“Anyways.. I wanted to ask if there was any reason you weren’t able to sleep last night. You typically get some rest,” Suzume asked, raising an eyebrow. “Ah.. That. I don’t really know why I couldn’t sleep.. I just wasn’t able to find a comfortable position, or something..” Rui’s lie was flawless, especially because it made sense. “Alright.. But that means you should get some tonight,” his father replied. “I know, I will,” Rui reassured.
Another lie.
“I should get working though, I have quite a few robots to get started on, especially if I'm going to bed early,” the director stated, standing up. “Ah, of course. I’ll call you for dinner when it’s ready,” Suzume replied.
Before Rui could realize it, he was alone with his thoughts again, staring at the humanoid blueprints he had brought out. These were simple, he couldn’t hurt anyone with the robots, since they wouldn’t have stunts around them. Every part of this play was something he’d done already, Rui could do this.
Except every time he got started on the fake explosion he’d mastered, he felt like something was wrong with it, and he scrapped it. By dinner he’d scrapped easily ten, and by eleven at night, when Tsukasa sent him a goodnight message, Rui had scrapped about twelve more.
The director gave up, working on the vampire designs, beginning to mold the robots together, but the lack of sleep was clearly starting to get to him. Rui had almost hurt himself forging together metal more times than he could count by one in the morning, and for some reason kept pushing forward until he finished the first robot at two, when he finally collapsed on his couch and fell asleep almost instantly.
~
By the time Tsukasa saw him at Kamiyama, Rui had recollected himself to look like he’d gotten some decent sleep, which made his lie easier. The director was working on yet another glitter bomb when Tsukasa walked up to the rooftop. The taller had been so absorbed he didn’t even notice, only seeing his lover when he gave up and scrapped yet another rendition. “Ah, when did you get here..?” he asked, a bit embarrassed. “Around ten minutes ago, but don’t worry, it’s nice watching you work,” his lover had replied. Rui couldn’t resist the hint of pink that danced across his cheek. “I apologize if I held you up, but you didn’t need to wait to start eating, if it weren’t for the fact I can’t get these to cooperate, I could’ve been working for another hour or so,” he stated, shooting a small glare at the inanimate object he had been futzing with. “I guess that’s fair, but I would’ve eaten soon anyways, considering I am fully capable of watching a clock,” Tsukasa replied.
~
By the time Rui got home after practice, he felt exhausted. His ideas weren’t working, and everything he did felt wrong. Every move he made had the highschooler second-guessing himself. He finally finished the glitter bomb, but spent the rest of the night working on more vampire robots.
That decision definitely showed the next day.
~
“Rui! You look like you're going to pass out..! Sleep on me, okay?” his lover had offered when Rui almost hurt himself because he misjudged where his hand was. “I can assure you I’m fine.. I just need to work through this, and it’ll be okay..” he replied, trying to ignore how his body was trying to give into the idea of sleep. Eventually, his effort proved futile, and he found himself waking up around two hours later, Tsukasa still holding him.
The director was able to keep himself attentive through practice, but his acting was a bit lackluster. Rui blamed it on the three vampire robots he had finished, and everyone understood. The highschooler fought to keep consciousness as he worked through the night after that, perfecting every little thing he could find. Rui had forgotten to respond to Tsukasa’s goodnight message, and only noticed at around two in the morning. He made the mistake of replying so late at night, and proving to his lover that he was in fact awake at concerning hours, despite the fact it was taking a heavy toll on him. On the plus side, he had the fourth vampire robot made and perfected, along with the glitter bomb that had fought him for so long.
The director didn’t sleep again that night.
Everything he did felt like it wasn't enough, like he wasn't working enough to justify being with his troupe, like he had done all too little despite working enough that every member had gotten onto him for it at least once. He couldn't help but feel like he needed to do more, and that he was being too careless.
He was sure he couldn’t function at that point, and it was everything he could do to hold himself together in front of his parents. His boyfriend, who seemed to know Rui like the back of his hand, was his issue. The moment Tsukasa would cup his cheek, the director’s carefully built up strength would melt.
“Rui.. how are you even awake right now..?” the troupe leader asked, moving to his lover and dragging him to a bench on the rooftop. “It’s fine.. Just needed to finish a few things..” the taller defended. “We are not doing this again! That can wait, Rui! Have you checked a mirror? You look like one wrong move will cause you to pass out!” Tsukasa argued, cupping Rui’s cheek. The director’s eyes fluttered closed, but he fought to keep them open. It was truly an interesting sight, and one that proved Tsukasa's point. “Just let yourself sleep.. We’ll most likely miss most of class, but I’d rather let you rest,” he stated, pulling his boyfriend into his arms and kissing his forehead.
“You’re definitely not the most.. Self-preserving worker, but this is different..” Tsukasa murmured. “What’s having you react like this..?” he asked, more to himself than anything else. “It's nothing, I just wanted to get these done.. I’ll sleep tonight,” Rui tried to reply, but Tsukasa shook his head. “You keep saying that, then doing the exact opposite. You're sleeping now because you need it to function.” The director sighed, but reluctantly accepted, closing his eyes and instantly loosing all the strength he could muster to get away from the comfort, specifically the sleep.
Rui awoke around four hours later, wrapped up in his lover’s arms; he could feel Tsukasa’s blazer over his back. When the director sat upright, his mind and body yearned instantly to be back in his star’s touch, but he resisted. “You stayed.. what happened to having attendance worthy of a star?” Rui teased, hoping to push away any concern he’d be confronted with. “I never really meant absolutely nothing but perfect attendance, I more meant star worthy attendance! That means I can make exceptions here and there when needed, like right now, because of the situation,” the blond replied. “I hope you didn't mind the makeshift blanket, you felt pretty cold,” he added, taking Rui’s hand —just as frigid as before— in his own. “Nothing I do seems to warm you up, either..”
Rui let out a small chuckle, looking away. “It's something I got from my father, he’s constantly cold, and before mom understood nothing really shakes it, she'd scold him all the time about not taking care of himself,” he replied, closing his eyes and imagining the memory. “Do you ever feel like you're cold?” Tsukasa asked, tilting his head to the side. “Not until I’m surrounded by something warm,” the taller replied, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. “Then allow me to at least give you some of my warmth! It's only fair if I share, hm? After all, it's kind of my job, considering I'm a star!” his lover replied, pulling the director back into a hug that he quickly melted into.
Just as Rui thought he was safe from any questions about his sleep schedule, —or lack thereof— Tsukasa began to talk again.
“Does.. this happen often?” the shorter asked, running his hands through his boyfriend's hair and detangling it ever so gently. “I.. guess it does.. yes,” Rui hesitantly admitted, looking down at his hands, they were slightly red from last night’s work. He should've slept last night, but he didn't even try.
“Rui.. you can't put in the effort you want if you don't let your body rest.. plus, it's clearly not letting you function.” The taller pulled away slightly in shame, but Tsukasa held him close. “I'm not mad at you, I’m just worried for you and your health, okay?” he added. “It's fine, Tsukasa. I just needed to get a few things done, and I'm fine now. I’ll sleep tonight,” the director lied. His boyfriend didn't seem to believe him. “Rui.. are you honestly going to do that, or are you trying to make me feel better about leaving you to your own devices again?” the shorter questioned, pulling back to cup his lover’s cheek, who looked anywhere but at Tsukasa. “I would have no reason to do that tonight, I don't have much else to work on,” he tried again. “I know you, constantly inventing new things to work on when you're done with the tasks at hand.. you say you have no more to do, but you always find something. ”
Rui’s hands curled into fists, digging his nails into his palms. If Tsukasa could read him this well, what else could he find out..? What else had he already figured out? The taller shook his head abruptly, letting out a small sigh. “Do I need to promise you..?” he asked, looking up at his lover hesitantly. “I can always stay with you tonight, but if not, I’ll have to take your word, on the condition that if you come back tomorrow looking worse, I am coming over, or having you over, and there's no stopping me,” Tsukasa explained. “I.. can sleep on my own, if it helps you I’ll stay in my room this time.”
“You don't typically sleep in your room?!”
The taller looked away, sheepishly. “If I'm feeling like it, I’ll set out the hide-a-bed and sleep on that, but typically I simply sleep on the couch part,” Rui admitted, after a few seconds of silence. “Then as your boyfriend and troupe leader I'm telling you to sleep on your real bed, and not work yourself to the point you can't hold yourself up anymore!” Tsukasa declared, lightly shaking Rui back and forth. "I will, I will, calm down,” the taller replied, admitting defeat with his hands raised slightly. “Good. Now I should get to class since you're awake, but don't work too much more, okay?” the blond stated, standing up when the director moved away. “I might as well join you, considering I have nothing better to do,” he replied.
~
It was around nine o’clock at night when Rui was staring at the boxcutter on his desk. He had, in his attempts to seem normal, made Tsukasa worried yet again. Did he ever get anything right? Did he ever just learn?
The blade seemed to be calling him, begging the director to cave, and cave he did.
To be fair, he never truly tried to fight it, considering how strongly Rui believed he deserved to hurt. After all, he hurt his lover because he couldn't just stay at his normal. It was the least the director could do to even that out.
The lines on his arms would only fade into scars, never completely gone. He had known that, yet seeing physical evidence made him somewhat sad. He could still find the scars from the year before. Rui knew that if he tried to recover again he’d stare at the marks with such hatred, and if he felt like being honest with himself, the high schooler would realize that he never quite stopped doing so, even after he relapsed.
Did he think his coping mechanism was worth it? Of course, but Rui couldn't help but know that if Tsukasa ever saw the mess on his upper arms, he’d be hurt.
That thought scared the director to no end, that Tsukasa would see the scars, the scabs, everything , and feel like it was his fault.
The knowledge that he was hurting Tsukasa by doing this, even if the blond didn't know it, made Rui want to do more, to try and make up for the pain he was causing his lover. The director had to remind himself that would only make the situation worse.
Plus, if Tsukasa never found out, he could never feel upset. What he didn't know couldn't hurt him after all, right?
~
Rui thought he had been slick, that his father wouldn't notice how he was being cautious around his arms again, but Suzume was attentive, rivaling Mizuki. He caught on quickly, and didn't hesitate to make it clear he was noticing. He didn't want to see his son as low as he was in middle school again. When Rui's father noticed a change in the amount of bandages they had, just after his son had come home upset, Suzume knew he needed to step in.
Rui had come downstairs from his room that morning, and the fact alone was almost enough to dissuade his father, but he decided to stay strong in his concern.
"Rui, can you come to the dinner table for a second?"
"On my way, dad!"
When Rui was situated. Suzume sighed. "You haven't been doing too great, have you?" He watched Rui tense. It answered his question. "What are you talking about?" his son deflected. "You've been hitting lows, right?" he asked for confirmation. After a few seconds of silence, Rui nodded slightly.
"Have you been eating?”
Rui nodded, Suzume raised an eyebrow, and his son paused, before shaking his head.
"Have you been hurting yourself?"
Rui froze, obviously trying to figure out if he could lie.
“Don't try to find the answer I'll like. Answer honestly.”
He sighed, and gave a weak nod.
"Suicidal thoughts?"
Another hesitant nod. He was looking away, in what Suzume was pretty sure was guilt.
"Attempts?"
Rui shook his head. Suzume believed him, and the director was being honest.
"When did this start?" his father asked, reaching out to take his hand in a gesture of comfort. —well, that and the fact his son was digging his nails into his palms, and would probably start drawing blood soon.— "The Halloween show," Rui muttered finally muttered, reluctantly taking his hand. "Why?"
"One of my robots hurt Tsukasa."
Suzume's heart tightened. His kid had been told he was nothing but dangerous to the point where if he made one mistake it sent him into a relapse. He wished he could help. He gave Rui's hand a gentle squeeze, and his son looked up. "It's okay to reset, you'll be okay, and we can always try again."
"What if I don't want to be okay?" the taller mumbled, eyes fixed on the ground. Suzume paused. This wasn't great. "Maybe you don't now, but when you get out of the low point, you'll thank yourself," he tried. "It's not like it did anything last time. I'm back in square one, aren't I?" the highschooler argued.
"Because recovery isn't linear."
"I don't want to recover. Hurting works, it makes me feel okay."
Those words hit Suzume like a train, but he didn't let himself give up.
"Maybe it does now, but it won't help you later."
"Can I just have this, dad? Can I just make sure Wonderlands x Showtime sees the stability this gives me, and then deal with the rest later?"
"It's not healthy. And the more you push off until this 'later,' the harder you'll make it for yourself."
"It doesn't matter. As long as I'm in school it won't be better, so what's the point in trying when it's exhausting?"
"Rui.."
"What's the point when the group sees what they need, who cares about the background?"
"Rui!"
Suzume didn't mean to raise his voice, but his son was spiraling, it was clear as day. He recalibrated, before going on. He had to move to Rui's level. Convincing him from a point of his health wasn't working. It was a low blow the shorter didn't like using. "If you're not in a clear headspace, you will end up affecting those around you. Maybe not now, but in the future it won't be only you," Suzume pressed. "I'll find a way to make it just me. They don't need to know, and right now they have no idea. I want to keep it that way." Suzume sighed. "Yet if they knew you were struggling they'd want to help. Then you can show the raw you instead of the filtered you." Rui shook his head. "They don't need to deal with my problems, they don't need to deal with me." the shorter frowned. "Can you at least tell Tsukasa?" Rui flinched. "Why him?"
“He’s your boyfriend, okay? He deserves to know,” he explained. “I just.. don't want him to be hurt.. I also..” the taller trailed off. “If you're scared he’ll leave, I can assure you he won't,” Suzume offered.
Rui lifted his knees to his chest. "I don't want him to see me like this- I know you say he won't, but I can't shake the feeling there's a chance he will-!" he replied. "He won't, for one, but in the entirely hypothetical scenario where he does, he wouldn't deserve you then. You shouldn't be disgusted by someone being vulnerable. I've met him, though; even if it was only a few times, I know he won't do that," Suzume insisted. "It's just that I- he's one of the first people to truly trust me with my ideas, if I lose him- I-"
"You'll completely reset?"
Rui froze for a moment, realizing his father was catching on. "Well-.. yeah.." he finally admitted. "You won't lose him, you have to trust me on this, he'll only want to help," his father replied. "It's just-.. I haven't even told Nene I relapsed, I haven't told anyone-! I didn't expect you to notice so fast.. this was all not supposed to happen.." Rui hesitantly replied.
Suzume sighed. “You should tell her too, you know?” he tried to offer, but the taller shook his head. “No, I don't want her worrying about me right now- I.. I told her I wouldn't be here again, so the least I can do is just let her believe I'm okay!” he defended. “No.. just, no. That's not going to make her feel like she can trust you to tell her when you're feeling like this. I'm not saying you have to, but I don’t want you to just put this off until it’s all too much. You should tell her soon.”
“I will.. Just not now.. But I should be getting towards schoo-” Suzume took Rui’s hand, stopping him. “Wait just a moment, okay? I want to make it clear I’m not going to sit by and watch you slip, but I also don’t want to do too much, right off the bat. Don’t expect me to sit back and watch, but I don't want to stress you out by doing as much as we did in middle school.”
~
“Rui! You look so much better!! Did you sleep well?” Tsukasa asked, pulling his director into a hug. The two were eating lunch in their usual spot. “I.. definitely slept better than I have in a bit, so I’m grateful for your offer,” Rui replied, snugging into Tsukasa’s shoulder. “Though I do need to work on my lines…” the taller trailed off. “Nope! Don’t worry about it! We’ll go over that at practice today, you’re sleeping again tonight!” the blond exclaimed, to his lover’s dismay. As Rui tried to open his mouth, Tsukasa placed a kiss on his lips. “No buts, I will come over if you don’t sleep!” he stated.
“I think I like that plan today,” Rui replied, resting against his boyfriend. The shorter couldn't resist the small smile that made its way into his expression. “Then I’ll walk home with you and Nene! We can even work on lines together!” Tsukasa agreed. “Though we should be getting back to classes soon.. I'm surprised you haven't said anything yet,” the taller reminded. His lover shot up, taking Rui’s hand and running to the school, slowing down when the two entered the building.
~
“Aaaaand cut!! That’s the full script done!” Emu exclaimed, making a motion nobody could decipher with her arms. “I would most likely be able to get a few people to do some voice recordings for your robots! That might help them seem less like props. Plus, this is a world of all different types of vampires, so it wouldn't make sense for them to all have the same voice!” Rui nodded, but paused. “How do I get voices that aren’t just us? I could ask Mizuki, but that's only one person..” he mused. “Leave it to me! I’ll ask Saki to pass around the word!” Tsukasa stated, placing his hands on his hips. “Thank you then, Tsukasa, just text me the recordings and I should be able to make a sound box,” the director replied, stepping up to one of the four robots, looking around into the other mechanical parts for a free area. Surely enough there was plenty of space if he moved a few cables out of the way.
~
“Isn’t your house in the opposite direction? What are you doing with us?” Nene finally asked Tsukasa, who was walking with Rui home. “He’s staying over tonight, so we’re walking together,” the taller replied. “I see.. At least that means you'll be sleeping tonight..” the blond nodded. “Of course! That’s one of the reasons I’m coming over anyways!”
As the two said goodbye to Nene, and relaxed onto the couch, Suzume peeked out from his room. “Ah, you brought Tsukasa over! Nice to see you again!” he acknowledged, waving to the star. “Nice to see you too! I didn’t realize you were home, I would’ve said something rather than surprising you,” the troupe leader replied. “Not to worry, you’re always welcome to come over! We really should get you a house key or something..” Rui’s father replied, before sighing. “Don’t have too much fun, you two, but it’s back to work for me,” he stated, returning to his room after a wave. “Now I see where you get your habits from..” Tsukasa murmured, pulling Rui onto the couch next to him. “Thanks to my mother he takes care of himself quite well, actually,” the taller replied, snuggling next to his lover. “Sounds like I’ll just need to do the same.. I guess I’ll ask for tips..”the shorter replied, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. “Already resting? If you think that’s getting you out of sleeping tonight, you’d be incorrect..” the star stated, pressing a small kiss against Rui’s head, who pouted. “But I have voice boxes to work on Tsukasa!” he tried to reason.
“And there’s no recordings for you to use yet, wait until then. You need rest, and a lot of it,” Tsukasa replied. “You’re no fun..” the taller grumbled. “ I’m no fun? Says the one who almost passed out yesterday,” the shorter replied. “Fine.. You win.”
What would Tsukasa think of you if he knew what you did to yourself last night?
The thought caught him off-guard. The mental image that came along with it required all the boy’s strength to resist tensing from. Tsukasa did not need to see that, and he wouldn’t! It would be fine.
“Rui..? Are you alright?”
God dammit, Rui, if you stopped thinking, you wouldn’t be here!
~
How does one lie themselves out of a tailspin, when they lie horribly if scared?