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First didn't get emotional solely because he couldn't surprise Khao with the hat he had shown him. No. He just always gets overwhelmed with how much love he has for him and how much he wants to always show him how important he is to him. He truly and genuinely believes Khaotung is his soulmate, in whatever sense that is. He adores him in every way and wants to protect and spoil him as much as he can. So yes, he breaks down from the frustration of not being able to show him that, on this special day, in the way he had wanted to show him.
"Really?" Khaotung asks 5 different times after First tells him the lengths he went to in his search for that silly hat. It tugs at his heart so much that he can't hold his tears back. What did he do to deserve such a beautiful person in his life? Fir never runs out of things to show him how much he cares. He almost feels unworthy of it all. He appreciates him so much and wouldn't know what to do without him in his life. He wants to tell him, right now, in this place, how much he loves him.....
After the birthday dinner with the staff, they go back to their hotel room, now showered and ready to retire to bed. First is lying across the bed, mindlessly scrolling through twitter and instagram while he waits for Khao to finish his skin routine. Khao is sitting on a stool in front of the little dressing room table and mirror. First starts hearing little sniffs and immediately looks up to see what is going on but Khao has his back facing him.
"Tung, you okay?". First says with worry in his voice. Khao does not turn around, he just hides his face in his hands and with a heavy breath says, "I really don't know what I did to deserve a person like you in my life". He barely manages to finish the sentence as he chokes on the uncontrollable sobs coming from his chest. First immediately rushes to the little table, drags the chair to face him and kneels just below Khaotung. He slowly wraps both of Khao's wrists with his palms and softly says, "Hey, hey, look at me. Look at me, please." Khao slowly drops his hands, and his eyes are bloodshot red with tears trickling down his cheeks. He looks down, directly into First's eyes and is immediately filled with a sense of comfort. First's eyes are filled with so much adoration, care, concern, you name it all. First moves his hands from Khao's wrists into his palms and rests both of their hands on Khao's lap.
"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me." First starts. "There is nothing I wouldn't do for you, and you know why? Because there is nothing you wouldn't do me for me either." Khao briefly closes his eyes while shaking his head and First tightens his grip on his hands. "Hey, Tung, look at me." Khao opens his eyes again and a stream of tears trickle down his face. "Do not ever feel that you do not deserve anything I do for you, because that can never be true. You are one of the most important people in my life and I will never stop saying or showing you that. You do so much for me and you are truly my anchor."
"Fir.." Khao tries to say something but First quickly shushes him. "Listen Khaotung. Man, I don't know. I will do anything for you, you hear me. I will go to the ends of the earth for you. I know that sounds dramatic." They both chuckle a little. "But I mean it. No one else means as much to me as you do. I..... I lo...I love having you in my life and I thank the universe for you everyday." First's voice is starting to break and Khao lifts one of their co-joined hands to gently brush away a tear from First's cheek that First hadn’t even noticed was there.
"I love you". Khaotung manages to say as they deeply stare at each other. Watching First kneeling in from of him, pouring his heart out to him like this, makes his heart flatter and he wants so much to have this, whatever this is, last forever.
First is taken aback at those 3 words. He weren't expecting them to be delivered in this moment. He feels a sting in his chest and is about to say something but Khao cuts him off. "I love you so much Fir. And I will love you forever. Thank you so much for making me feel special every single day. I cannot imagine my life without you. I don't ever want to..." He doesn't manage to finish his sentence as First suddenly pulls him into a hug. He wraps his hands around First's shoulders, while First's hands wrap around his waist. "I love you too Tung." Firs says in a very low voice with his head resting against Khao's chest. "I love you so much. And I will always be here. I'm never going anywhere."
They are both now quietly sobbing and they tighten their grips around each other and stay like that for a moment. Khao then slowly unwraps his hands around First's shoulders, moves back a little so he can look at his face. First does not let go of Khao's waist, but he also moves his face away from Khao's chest so he is also now facing him. Khao brings both his hands to First's cheeks and slowly strokes his sides. They continue to stare at each other, and since First hasn't let go of Khao's waist, their faces are too close. No one is making an effort to create a distance, it feels like they are both frozen in time and are physically unable to move.
Khao's face drops a little lower making their noses touch. It's almost like there is a force pulling them together which is completely out of their control. Khao's eyes travel down to First's lips but quickly back up to his eyes. There is some sort of confirmation that is exchanged by their eyes and First closes the remaining distance by softly placing his lips on Khao's. There is a little hesitation from both parties but no one is trying to stop or move themself away. It just feels right. it just feels natural. It just feels like this is exactly what should be happening right in this moment.
Without thinking too much about it, Khao places one hand at the back of First's head and tangles his fingers in his hair. He tilts his head and starts moving his lips against First's. He immediately feels the grip around his waist tighten. The kiss is so soft and sensual, as if they are both trying not to scare the other off. Their breathing start getting heavier as they deepen the kiss. Their soft moans sending both of them into delirium.
As First tries to push himself closer, his knee hits the corner of the chair and he winces from the impact. They break apart and both immediately start to chuckle. Khao's laugh becomes louder as he bends down caressing First's knee. 'I almost forgot you were kneeling on the floor all this while, I'm so sorry, are you ok?" Khao says while trying to hold back his laugh. "I'm glad you find my pain entertaining." First pouts but with a smile on his face. He gets up, offers Khaotung his hand and says, "Let's go to bed."
Khao takes First's hand and gets up from the chair. First pulls him into a hug. "Happy birthday again Tung." He says softly. "Thank you Fir." Khao replies.
They get in bed, and switch all the lights off. First lies down facing up with his hands behind his head. Khao moves closer and lays his head on First's chest. First brings his hand down and wraps it around Khao's back. First slowly caresses Khao's back and Khao nuzzles into his chest. They do not say a word. They will not address what just happened or what it means. They are both too exhausted to try and figure everything out this night. They know what they have is special. They know they will always have this because both of them will make sure to never let anything come between them. They will work out the rest of the details with time, but for now, they will enjoy this peace and comfort that they provide each other. They therefore just stay like this for a while, listening to each other's soft breaths.
"Goodnight, Tung."
"Goodnight, Fir."