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Gem is forced to watch in horror as her body no longer hers chases Pearl through the Pale Forest. She begs with all her heart’s might for Pearl to keep running, to outrun her and leave this twisted thing that she has become- But to her horror, Pearl is slowing down and she’s gaining speed, and the laugh that’s leaving her lips grows louder and more maniacal.
Her hand swings the sword, and its tip catches the navy clad woman’s shoulder blade who trips over her feet due to the pain. A scream- A horrifying, bloodcurdling scream leaves her lips, and Gem is sick to her stomach, but she instead yells in triumph as the other girl scrambles away just in time to avoid the sword that plunges into the dirt. The deer hybrid walks slowly towards her as she forces herself up to her feet. She holds her hands out in front of her, keeping her eyes locked on Gem’s as she tries to speak sense to a body that’s possessed.
She begs with desperation but what for? Not even she can tell. She wants Pearl to turn around and run, wants the other woman to stand and fight, wants Pearl to somehow be magically teleported from this cruel, torturous world to somewhere light and safer. Her pleas go unheeded as Pearl stubbornly stands her ground, trying to reach through solid partition that keeps Gem’s sanity from her body.
“You can just stop! C’mon, can’t we call a truce or something Gem Gem?”
Cold overcomes Gem all at once as she remembers an important fact that she seems to have forgotten up to this point: It’s Pearl’s first time being caught up in the Watchers’ whims.
”She doesn’t know.”
”She doesn’t know.”
”Oh Void, she doesn’t know.”
Gem tries to ignore the hopelessness that comes with the realization that there is nothing she can do- Nothing and no one she can pray to that can save the woman she loved and cherishes from the punishment and trauma she’s about to inflict with her very own hands. Gem screams for Pearl to move when she charges forward, her weapon at hand and aiming to strike. For the first time in this hell, her plea is answered when Pearl dodges out of the way just in time to avoid a sword being thrust into her gut.
Desperation overcomes her, overruling fondness when the stubbornness she loves so much about Pearl rears its head back in full force as the woman in question turns around to face Gem once more instead of doing the sensible thing by trying to escape. Pearl chooses to try again and it all but drives Gem insane.
Pearl dodges, weaves, and sometimes redirects her attacks but they both know that she can’t keep this up forever. Gem can see that sweat is breaking out on her forehead, notes that it takes her a split second longer to get up from the ground each time she rolls away from a swing backed with brute force. The two of them are relentless but this time around there is no compromise- Only one of them will get their way and they both have a sinking feeling of whose it’s going to be.
Pearl chooses to try anyways.
“If this is about me bugging you about your chest monsters, I’m sorry but it’s gonna happen again y’know?” The smile on Pearl’s face makes Gem want to cry, she hopes that this swing will be the one to make her moonbeam realize that it’s all futile- That there is no way out but to kill or be killed. It’s in a split second that Gem is shocked into quiet as she recognizes the feint that Pearl attempts-
She throws herself forward, attempting to roll beneath the swing of the sword. It’s a mistake that would break the deer hybrid far more than it would break the watcher defector. Gem’s foot shoots out to the side in an attempt to trip Pearl- And the attempt succeeds.
Her vision turns to black as she lands face first into the dirt. It’s a struggle to try and get up, she can’t tell which one burns more: Her lungs, or the bleeding scrapes that Gem has dealt her so far. She has barely braced a shaking palm against the ground beneath her when searing white hot pain explodes from the appendage in question. She screams and just only registers that there’s a horrible feeling of something in the exact spot that she’s been stabbed through. It’s only when she’s turned around by her shoulder with painful force does she realize what it was-
Gem had almost severed her hand in half- The feeling was that of nothingness, she realizes as she tries to move or even twitch her fingers to no avail.
Pearl comes face to face with Gem who is smiling with teeth like she wants to make this moment last. There are tears in the corner of her eyes yet there are none in Gem’s and she knows that it’s wrong. Gem would never do this, would never come a thousand blocks distance of her with the intent to hurt. Gem would’ve listened, Gem would have hesitated. It’s with a twisting sensation in her stomach that she realizes that the one in front of her is not her Gem.
“Won’t you beg for yourself now, Pearl?”
There is nothing in those eyes that is her Gem.
Deafening silence fills the night, there are no crickets, no swaying leaves. There is nothing here but Pearl trapped on her own because she refuses to believe that what hovers above her, pinning her to the ground is the Gem that she knows and loves. The smile on the other woman’s face is replaced by an angry scowl, and the hand gripping the collar of her hoodie pulls back and slams her head against the ground so hard that she sees stars behind her eyelids.
“I said: Beg.”
Pearl wills the tears springing up on the corners of her eyes to not fall. She holds onto hope- She holds onto whatever strength is left within her; Because if Gem is in there somewhere, the sight of Pearl crying due to her actions will break parts of her girlfriend beyond repair. She sucks in a breath before opening her eyes, her gaze locks with burning red eyes devoid of love, and she smiles despite the unbearable pain.
“We’ll be okay. Okay?”
A mocking comes from the girl with red eyes, and all Pearl cares to see is that she looks beautiful bathed in the moonlight above her like this. She swears to all the Gods whose names she can remember that she’ll give Gem new memories of nighttime in a clearing, she promises herself that as soon as Gem comes back to Hermitcraft after this nightmare that she’ll be there to make the hurt go away, she binds herself to an oath: This will not break them.
“Okay? You think you’ll end up okay?!” Gem snarls a twisted hateful thing as her other hand brings the sword up. The smile returns to her face and she adds to her statement. “You won’t make it out alive- I’ll make sure of it.”
Pearl’s smile doesn’t fade, doesn’t dim even when the sword is placed against her neck. She brings her remaining functioning hand to rest on the one that holds her hoodie with a death grip, and her thumb traces a slow circle on the inside of Gem’s wrist the exact same way she does when she presses kisses to Gem’s palm when the shorter woman holds her face in her hands.
She realizes now that it's not Gem who holds herself, it's The Watchers that are in control.
“I love you regardless.”
She faces a death sentence; She knows she will die here and when she opens her eyes again, she’ll be on the same team as Gem. Together they’ll hunt their friends down mindlessly and they’ll be back on the Hermit server when the champion comes out on top. Pearl knows that by greeting ruthlessness with mercy, she has forfeited her last moments of pacifism to the girl who has always had her at her mercy.
The blade drags against her skin in a slow agonizing pace and her eyes almost shut themselves in reaction to the pain, but Pearl now knows that Gem is not in control- Pearl also knows that she is stronger than anyone will ever know so she manages to keep her eyes open with only the furrow of her eyebrows as proof of her pain. The tears will not fall, her hand on Gem’s will not tighten, and her legs will not flail- A major sign of pain will change Gem beyond healing.
Pearl will gladly die slowly than give Gem a reason to break because of her.
The fight leaves her when she is forced to watch helplessly as her own hand deals the killing blow. It should be infuriating how Pearl doesn't stop smiling up at her in that soft manner when she doesn't deserve it. She knows she should be angry or furious or any other emotion falling within the same spectrum as the two, yet there is nothing she feels but numbness.
She didn't want this.
Never in her angriest or most spiteful moment did she want anything even close to this.
Pearl doesn't deserve this.
Gem doesn't think that this can get any worse, but then Pearl tries to breath- And it's a choked, wet sound that leaves her lips as she gasps for air in vain. Blood spit by the motion lands on Gem, and it is sickening to come to terms with the fact that she did this.
She'll hurt Pearl.
She's hurting Pearl.
She's killing-
The downward spiral is broken by the feel of a gentle hand cradling her cheek. Gem is pulled out of her stupor and when her world comes back to focus, she finds that Pearl is still smiling at her- Her eyes forever soft and her touch forever loving. She knows she should be crying, she wants to cry and she's never been good at holding her tears back but her body is not hers anymore and instead there is a happy smile on her face as she watches Pearl choke to death beneath her.
She does not know how she will ever forget, does not know how she will ever forgive what she has done. How can she ever go back to Pearl-
The thumb of Pearl's hand weakly glides against her cheekbone, and Gem once again is shaken from her loathing. Pearl's grip is weakening and she is no longer choking for air but the blood is pouring, it's pouring in a steady trickle from her mouth and Gem wants nothing more than to look away, to lock herself down in the coldest deepest regions of the Void for the sacrilege she has committed. She wants to scream in horror, to beg and grovel at Pearl's feet for forgiveness and to leave her life entirely to ensure that this never happens again all at the same time.
Pearl twitches and Gem knows that she is dead now. But before the light fades from her Yellow eyes, Pearl says something to Gem.
"We'll be okay."
It's a sickening thing, to watch Pearl's eyes go blank and her skin turn gray before she vanishes into particles in Gem's hands.
Her possessed body gets up from the ground with a scoff.
The Watchers are displeased.
And Gem does not know how they will possibly be okay.