Chapter Text
Quiet. It was too quiet. It had been this way for a few months and you were losing your fucking mind. Not that you wanted the bad or the crazy, but this quiet, where nothing was coming for you, was killing you. You weren't used to it. You could only clean your house so many times. Could only paint so many portraits, before you had nothing to do. You didn't like it. Your brothers had taken care of the big bad a few months ago and all the chaos the bitch had brought with her had ceased. Not that they knew you existed or were even effected in the least.
You had loved the quiet to begin with. That’s why you chose here to start over. This house. This land. It was calm. It was peaceful. Knowing that from sun up to sun down, the only sounds around here were from you. You’d gone out of your way to get the isolation. Sure, you had a few friends that would stop by from time to time. You were a business owner so sometimes meetings would take place at your house, in your office. Your business partner liked to stop by and bother you, but you were never as irritated as you pretended to be, and he knew that too.
The quiet had made you feel almost human. That was what you had always longed for. Humanity. Normalcy. You even went out of your way to not use your powers. This house had been a dump when you bought it a few years ago. Your hands had fixed everything. Crafted the mantle for the fireplace. Laid the tile for back splash in the kitchen. Torn down the walls upstairs to create your master suite. It was yours, made by you. Not your powers. You. Sure, every once in a while you would snap and something you needed would appear, or when you used to hunt, powers sure were helpful to keep from being ripped apart from a vampire or wendigo. But, your powers tended to tap into your darkness. The darkness you fought so hard to bury deep inside.
You were a monster. Plain and simple. You had accepted that. Your mother had driven that home enough before she was killed. We’re not normal Katy. We’re monsters and that's why your father can never know about you. He doesn't know what I am. If he ever found out about me and came for me. I wont risk it. Hes a hunter Katy, and hunters kill monsters. And he came for her. You were seven and scared. God, were you afraid.
It was a normal day. Your mother and you were in another dump of a motel. The 8th one of that month. You were running from something but you didn't know what. She threw open the door and slammed it behind her, latching all the locks. Katy! Katy! He found us! Get in the closet and don't come out! Don’t move or make a sound, Am I Clear? You nodded and she shut the closet door just before the door was kicked open. You bitch! You fucking freak! How could you? You're a monster! You think you could get away with it. Fuck a hunter and gain some protection? Keep yourself safe? Seven years we've played this back and forth game. And then I find out not only are you not human, you're half demon and half angel! You silently cried, holding your hands in your head as he murdered your mother and walked away like nothing had happened. Your father. The man, from that moment on, you hated. That man. Your father. John Winchester.
You were alone for a couple months. Living off the money you mother had with her. You were seven, alone and afraid. It didn't take long for someone to take an interest in you. Are you alright? My names Margie and I would like to help you. Help you. For a few weeks, she did. Then they figured out what you were. 9 years. 9 years of torture and enslavement. They were a coven and discovered your blood made their spells much more powerful. You felt like giving up and you almost did.
Shortly before your 16th birthday, you were saved. Locked away in the room they set aside for you, you heard commotion and then a man burst through the door. Chocolate colored hair and gorgeous hazel eyes. Don’t be afraid. You weren't, even though you could feel the power radiating off of him.I'm here to get you somewhere safe. Take my hand. Names Gabriel, sweetcheeks. You would later come to find out he was an archangel. Maybe he didn't scare you because you, yourself, were part angel, but he also seemed sweet. Cocky. Headstrong, but sweet.
Gabe kept you safe for a year. You didn't feel like you could stay. Especially not once he told you the witches were planning on keeping you until you turned 28. Something called a blood moon ritual and that your blood would make every spell they cast permanent. All it required was all the blood in your damned body. You felt like you had to be on the move, like they would find you. Constantly in the back of your mind was the feeling that you didn't belong. You were searching for something and had no idea what it was.
You decided to try to locate your father, not to meet him but to just keep an eye on him. Along the way you had met some people and they took you in. One day you realized you had brothers. John pulled into a hotel parking lot and 2 boys came out. You were shocked. Kind of hurt and jealous, but we wont talk about that. You followed them around, them not realizing you were there. By the time you were 19, you realized that it probably wasn't healthy to be following them around, longing after something you would never have. You decided to stay away and pop in ever couple years just to make sure they were still around. You weren't sure why you cared but you did.
When you were 21, you left the care of your friends. Unable to commit to someone and something. You felt like you were broken into pieces. There was always something holding you back. Something in the back of your mind. Dreams you had since you were 18 became more frequent. A man. Sandy hair and blue eyes. Sometimes you saw a future you knew you could never have. He couldn't be. These dreams were just another method for God to torture you.
A year later you found your brothers by chance. You heard the roar of that engine and knew it was them before you even saw it. That was also the year you discovered your father had died. Like some martyr. For your brothers. You were numb. You felt horrible for them losing their father, especially since you discovered that John had lost his wife at the hands of a demon and lost his mind. You hated the man yet longed for that relationship you would never have. The relationship you couldn't have with your brothers. Because they were hunters. And you were a monster.
That was 6 years ago. Lots of things had happened in those 6 years. You had reconnected with Gabriel, only to stop talking to him after finding out he killed your big brother, repeatedly. It wasn't as funny as he thought it was. You had bought this house. Co-owned a club. You painted. You had a fucking amazing green thumb and a huge green house. You should have been happy. You just couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing.
You were shook from your memories by the sound of footsteps on your porch. Everyone you know would just pop in your living room. You grabbed the hunting knife you stored in the hallway table drawer and crept to the window. There wasn't anyone on the porch. You slowly opened the door and stepped on the porch, listening for anything. You didn't hear anything. Turning to go back inside, a cry from the side of the porch stopped you dead in your tracks. A baby? That was a damn baby. You stepped off the porch and walked around the side of your house, noticing a basket. There was a shirt inside. It was moving. For fucks sake. You knelt by the basket, carefully peeling the flannel back and were met with the greenest eyes you could have seen. Eyes you knew. Eyes that belonged to your big brother. Eyes that should have been on a grown man, not an infant. He must have been 12 months old. “Dean?”