Work Text:
James is horny, depressed, desperate, alone, and in need of a good bang, something Mary couldn’t provide. Mary was quite vanilla for the most part; pegging didn’t seem like it was something she would be interested in. At heart James had always been a bottom, but it was never something he admitted, barely even to himself. He had lonely nights, the hand type of lonely nights. More often than not, James spent the night on the couch, relieving stress. He even slept there. He couldn’t remember the last time he slept in the same bed as Mary. All during those times, James fantasized about being dominated. Having a strong man bend him over and spread his legs open sent goosebumps down his back when he thought of it. He wanted to be cuffed to a bed frame and let himself be used for pleasure.
While Mary was alive, James had temptations of going on craigslist and finding a top to rail him until he couldn’t sit anymore. Thinking of how hard it would be to go home and pretend everything was okay as he took a minute to sit down comfortably. Cheating wasn’t worth it, as much as he dreamt about it. He already had so much pain and guilt, he couldn’t bring himself to make such a destructive decision. As time went on, the worse things got, in many ways. Dealing with stress and sadness amplified once Mary passed on. It was hard to keep himself together. Things soon became numb. The tears dried, leaving his eyes irritated and bloodshot. He went on autopilot, not feeling anything at all, other than his heart rotting. It took some time for things to level out. Nothing was easy, nothing was content, but the pain stopped getting worse.
One night James woke, covered in sweat, and panting. He could barely open his eyes, but all he felt was sweat and—
Did he—
James pushed himself to sit up. He looked down at his boxers, seeing they were soaked in his cum, and he was still semi hard. He sighed and laid back down, realizing what had happened. He closed his eyes, letting the dream play in his head while he could still remember it. He had wet dreams while he was with Mary, and he was fuelled by it. Waking up alone with the dream still in his mind, putting his hand down his pants for a round two. Once he was fully alone, the wet dreams felt like guilt, felt like his mind was trying to move on, which is what he needed. It took time for the urge to come back, for the guilt to diminish. He wanted to sleep around as a cure for depression, as a way to fill his void. He never had good luck; the people would either not connect with him, or they wouldn’t show up at all. One night, it was different.
James moved from craigslist to a dating site instead. The previous method was sketchy most of the time, so he was hoping something more modern would work out better. Seeing women made him feel weird; he had promised to himself and to Mary that she would be the only woman he would love. Although this sex isn’t with love or in hopes of finding love, sleeping with a woman still felt wrong. He avoided them and focused on men. It just FELT different. In a few weeks, James found a man named Leon. Out of all the men he’s seen, this one stood out. He was local too, which was nice. They spoke for a few weeks, James wanting to see if there was a connection before they did the unspeakable. He liked Leon— like, REALLY liked Leon. They got to know each other, and weirdly enough, they had a lot in common. Both of them had dealt with a lot of emotional traumas, taking time to recover and forget. The two of them agreed to meet up at his place.
James shows up, very nervous compared to all the other people he’s been with. He knocked on the door then put his hands in his coat pockets, body closed off in an apprehensive stance. After a moment, Leon answered the door. James glanced down, seeing that Leon was slightly shorter than him. He didn’t remember talking about their heights before, but he thought he was going to be taller than him. All his fantasizes were with taller men, but that didn’t mean Leon wouldn’t do a good job. He looked at his face, seeing that his state was a lot more rigid than he was. James was more of a soft, delicate boy, but Leon looked like he could take punches without a flinch. They both stared for a moment, taking in the looks of each other. James had his green jacket on, pair of jeans, nothing too spectacular. Leon seemed to be more of a form sitting clothing type of person. You could see his pecs clear as day under his thin t-shirt, and James noticed almost immediately. He was already weak in the knees.
“Uh… Hey.” James spoke first then chuckles nervously. Leon smirks once he speaks. “Hey back.” He steps to the side and allows James to walk in.
Once in, he toed his shoes off, then looked around, seeing the apartment was not too bad. A lot better than what he has seen before. Leon walks up to James, and first instinct is to shake his hand, but that would be weird. Let’s shake hands, then I will fuck you senseless. Seemed odd.
“Can I get you a drink?”
James turns to face Leon, seeing that Leon’s forehead was right at his eye level. They looked at each other, taking time to stare at each other’s eyes. James was soaked in by his brown eyes, and Leon admired his green eyes. James had to hold back from cupping his face and kissing his lips. He bit his bottom lip slightly as they continued to stare. James was pulled away from his thoughts once Leon cocked an eyebrow.
“Wh-“
“Can I get you a drink?” Leon repeated, and chuckled at how flustered James was. “How about some whiskey? May calm your nerves.”
He’s heard that line before. He sighed a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in. He closed his eyes in thought, then finally nodded, knowing that he was here to have fun, not to drown in his depression.
“Yeah,” he opened his eyes. “Yeah, that sounds nice.”
Leon smiled at him and as he walked off, he patted James on his shoulder. He went to his cupboard and grabbed a couple shot glasses, and his bottle of whiskey. James expected a slow sip of whiskey in a glass, but here he was, calling shots. That made him nervous; alcohol hit him hard, so he hoped that Leon would respect when he says no. The two of them sat on his couch, and Leon poured the shots.
“Cheers,” Leon says with a smile, and they clink glasses. Leon takes his shot without hesitation. James shook a bit, staring at the glass, but before Leon looked back, James took the shot, and recoiled immediately after swallowing. Leon couldn’t help but laugh.
“You okay?” Leon patted James’ thigh. “That looked rough.”
James sighed and smirked, it being the first smile in a while.
“I uh, alcohol isn’t too nice to me.” James chuckled. He put down the shot glass, and saw that Leon was immediately filling them back up.
“Whenever you’re ready for it, lemme know.” Leon puts down the whiskey bottle, then leans back, one leg crossed over the other. He rested his head on his hand, elbow on the back of the couch.
“So.”
James turns his body to face Leon better. “…So.”
They both stared at each other. Leon could read that James was a mess, looking away at anything BUT Leon. Was it nerves? Was he regretting this?
“Talk to me.”
James finally looked at him. “What?”
“Yer a mess.” Leon chuckles. “Why are you here?”
The question confused James. What did he mean by this question? Why did he care?
“Umm….” James looks away, but Leon cups his cheek and brings him back over to look at him. He has nowhere else to look but at Leon. He felt his body shake at the touch of another human. He’s felt it before, lots of strangers trying to kiss him, trying to get anything. For once, James didn’t flinch or pull back. He allowed Leon’s hand to hold his cheek, his thumb stroking along his stubble, something he let go of for way too long. Looking at Leon’s face, he could see he was very clean shaven, very pristine.
“I… I don’t know.”
Leon moves his hand away from his cheek and slides it down to his shoulder. “It’s okay.” He gives it a pat, then moves his hand away.
James didn’t know how to talk. He had mentioned his wife passed but hasn’t gone into a lot of detail. He didn’t know how to begin, talking about his depression, hallucinations, guilt, and how horny he was all the time. All he could think of to say, all he could muster, “I’m… Lonely.”
Leon nods once he finally responds. He has lost loved ones before, he could imagine the pain, but he has never lost a partner to death. He looks at James, expecting more to come from him, but to his surprise, James reaches over and grabs the shot glass, and takes his shot in one go, wincing afterwards from the burn. Leon can’t help but chuckle and grab his own glass. “Cheers to that,” he jokes, and takes his shot, placing his glass down on the table beside James’.
“Well,” he starts, moving himself closer to James. “I can help with that. Hopefully.” He holds James’ jaw in his hand, taking time to soak in how handsome he really was. James practically goes limp, allowing Leon to do whatever he wanted. Slowly, Leon leans in, head tilted, and gave James a gentle, yet passionate kiss. At first James didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know how to reciprocate. He sits there and lets Leon kiss him. Leon pulls away slightly to speak against his lips, “it’s okay, James.” James feeling that on his mouth made him shiver. Leon slips his fingers into James’ blond locks and brings him back in for another kiss. They tasted the alcohol from their lips— Leon wanted to dive right in with his tongue to get a better taste but held back. Didn’t want to scare the boy off too quickly. With hesitation, James slowly moved his hands over to Leon, at first not sure where to put his hands. Eventually he settled on placing a hand on his thigh. He felt his warmth, and his strong, firm muscles. Feeling the hand on his thigh encouraged Leon to move closer. The two of them had their hands on each other’s bodies, kissing slowly and delicately. James feels Leon make a grunt like moan against him, then suddenly he crawls on top of him, straddling his lap while facing him.
“You’re a pretty good kisser,” Leon comments, putting his hands on James’ shoulders to hold him down. He moved in, kissing him once more. Leon could feel James shaking under his grasp. He wondered how good it felt for him, and how hard he was, if at all. Sitting while wearing jeans thankfully made his erection not as noticeable. It was easy to hide, especially with Leon on top of him. Feeling adventurous, James moved his hands to Leon’s back, slipping his hands under his shirt. His skin was so smooth, and he was so warm. He loved how toned his body was. Leon pushes himself up to look at James again.
“Such a pretty thing you are.”
Right away James is a blushing mess. He averts his gaze in embarrassment; it was extremely noticeable. Leon holds James’ jaw and turns his face to look at him.
“Keep your eyes on me,” he demands with a grin. James bites his lip as he makes eye contact. Leon gripped him a little tighter and speaks again. “Do you understand, James?”
“Y-Yes,” James whispered. His face was red and hot.
“Good boy.”
James whimpers, then bites his lip harder to keep the noises from escaping. He never dove too deep into kinks, so he had no idea what he would like. Being Leon’s good boy seemed to be on the top of the list. He squirmed in place, trying to get some kind of friction on his cock in an attempt to give himself pleasure.
Leon watches James, seeing how much of a trembling mess he was. Meeting him at first, his rough stubble, his dead look in the eyes, chronic tiredness. It felt like he was looking at a different man than who walked in earlier. He grins and stands up, then pulls James up on his feet. Leon’s arms go around James’ waist and pulls him in closer, their chests pressed against each other. He gives James a quick kiss on his lips, then pulls away.
“Come with me,” he says, taking hold of James’ hand and guiding him over to his bedroom. Once there, Leon gives James a gentle push onto the bed. Standing in front of him, Leon removes his shirt, showing how toned and muscly his body is. He tosses it aside and walks over to James. He reaches over and gently tugs on his shirt, silently asking to take it off. James is hesitant at first, sitting there and staring at him, but soon he lifts pulls it off and tosses it to the side along with Leon’s.
“You’re hiding nice muscles under your clothes, huh?” Leon feels his bare skin. James felt soft, with some hair, mainly being peach fuzz. He wasn’t too hairy of a guy, and for the places that had more hair, it was quite light. Leon presses his palm against his chest, pushing him down gently onto his back. He crawls over top of him, kissing his body as he moved upwards. “So fucking sexy,” Leon growls against his skin, kissing more, then beginning to bite. Leon’s teeth graze against his skin; he then bites down fully and sucks with fully intention to leave a mark. Whenever people went in to give James a hickey, he always curled up to push them away from his neck. The thought of it made him uncomfortable, thinking about how the stranger will leave a bad tasting reminder. This time around, James was confident that he will look at it fondly.
Leon finished marking James, then pulled away. He looked at the hickey and smirked. “Got you good.” He moved up to James’ neck and kissed there. “Why don’t I leave a mark here too?” James shivered at the hot breath on his neck. Leon continued. “Have everyone know that you had a good fucking.”
“Leon-“ James moaned his name under his breath. He tilted his head back to allow Leon full access to his neck. He closed his eyes and panted lightly as Leon basically made out with his neck. He felt his teeth graze against his neck then bite down just like he did with his chest. The bite caught James off guard, despite knowing it was going to happen. He let out a rather loud moan and right away felt Leon chuckle against his skin. He pulls away and sits up to get a good look at James’ deep red face. “I didn’t think I’d get a noise like that out of you.” He got off James and stood up. He started unbuttoning his pants, fumbling with the zipper from how quickly he was trying to take them off. “Take off your pants,” Leon demanded, finishing off his pants and underwear, kicking them away. “Right now. I am fucking you right now.”
James couldn’t believe how eager he was to be inside of him. He was far too mesmerized by Leon’s fully naked body to get anything done. At the ‘right now’, James started fumbling with his pants too, ending off with Leon practically ripping them off his body. Right after Leon crawled back on top of him and kissed James on his lips. James was hesitant and scared earlier, but he was so turned on at this point that there was no going back. The two of them moved into the middle of the bed to give themselves lots of room. It also gave Leon the reach to grab lubricant and a condom from his night side table. Leon slipped on the condom, then popped open the bottle to pour it on his hot throbbing cock. He rubbed it on then used the rest in his hand to get James nice and wet. The initial feeling of Leon’s fingers caused James to jump. It was nice to feel actual lubricant on him though; most guys would only use spit, and that hurt most of the time. Leon took a little more time to prep James, making sure he was relaxed and lubed up.
“Are you ready?” He asked, lifting James’ legs onto his shoulders. Once he got the nod, Leon pushed his tip against his entrance, then slowly slid in. James closed his eyes and tilted his head back, biting his lip roughly to stop any noises from coming out of his mouth. Leon pushed the rest of his length inside of James, then stayed still, allowing James’ pulsing to subside and relax.
“You’re so tight,” Leon commented with a grin. “It feels amazing.” He slowly started to move his hips, sliding himself in and out of James. Leon could see James struggling to keep quiet. “You can moan,” he reassured. “I encourage it. No one can hear you but me.”
James is a shaking mess. His cock was already leaking onto himself; he wondered if he would finish hands free, just from penetration. He closed his eyes as Leon kept his thrusting to a steady pace. He relaxed his body; once Leon felt that, he moved over top of James, his legs still placed on his shoulders and folded close to his chest. Leon planted his hands on the mattress as he thrusted. James tried to let go, to let loose. He started panting as Leon’s thrusts picked up pace. James moans softly, still quiet and under his breath.
“You can be louder than that,” Leon pants. “I heard it earlier. Do it again.”
James was hesitant. He’s always been one to hide his moans— try to, anyways. He bit his lip and looked at Leon, not making a noise. Leon laughs and shakes his head. “Well. I guess I’m gonna fuck the noises out of you then.” With a rough thrust, James squeaked out a moan, making Leon smirk. Leon kept thrusting, their bodies smacking together from how rough Leon was going. Leon moved his hands from being planted on the bed to grabbing James’ wrists and pinning them down.
“That’s it, baby,” he grunted, keeping up with the fast pace. James was a mess, moaning and arching his back, pressing his body against Leon’s. He felt the tip of Leon’s cock rub up against his prostate, right at the perfect spot. This is exactly what James needed.
“You f-feel….s-so good,” James barely said. He felt the grip on his wrists tighten— James couldn’t help but stare at his tensed muscles. He wished he could feel them, grip at them, scratch.
“Holy fuck,” Leon grunted, and in a few thrusts, Leon closed his eyes and did one last thrust, cumming inside the condom. Once he finished his orgasm, he loosened the grip on James’ wrists, assuming they were probably very sore now. Slowly, Leon pulled out and sat up. He took a good look at James— his hair was a complete mess, face beet red, and chest heaving.
“You’re so hot,” Leon said, taking off the condom and tying the end of it. He tossed it into the garbage then laid down beside James on his side. “Best ass I’ve had.” He slid his hand up James’ thigh then started to tease around his cock with his fingers, it immediately making James shake. Leon moved closer to him and kissed his lips, then wrapped his fingers around his hot leaking cock. James felt like he would cum from just a few strokes. He moaned into the kisses, and within a few moments James bucked his hips into his hand and finished, squirting onto his stomach and chest. Leon gave one last kiss and pulled away, giving James a moment to breathe.
“My god,” James mutters after a moment of silence. Leon chuckled and got up from the bed to grab a towel for James. He tossed the towel over to James, it landing beside him. He wiped himself clean, then Leon took the towel away and tossed it into a laundry basket.
“Are you an aftercare type?” Leon asks, getting back into the bed beside him. James didn’t know how to answer. He looked at Leon, not saying anything, then shrugged.
“Well, what have you done in the past?”
James chuckled then sighed. “Uh, go home and rethink my choices.”
Leon can’t help but laugh at that. “I sure hope you don’t feel that way this time around. I got you good.” James blushed but tried to wave it off. “Yeah… you did get me good.” He sheepishly chuckled.
“I did though, did you hear yourself? The whole street could hear you—“ Leon went on and on, seeing that it was embarrassing James; that fuelled him. James looked at him while he talked and decided to take matters into his own hands. He grabbed Leon’s face and pulled him in for a rough kiss. Despite the shock Leon almost immediately reciprocates, kissing him back just as rough. They take a moment to kiss for a bit, then pulled away to catch their breath. They panted gently while looking at each other’s faces. Leon looked down at his lips, craving another taste. He leaned in and gave one more kiss, then spoke.
“How about I take you out for dinner tomorrow?”
James eyes widen. He kept his stare on Leon, not sure what to say. Going into things James didn’t have the intention of dating or the intention to get close. It was mainly out of fear than it was him wanting to sleep around. The sex they had was great, so much so James wanted to keep seeing him. He had already mentally settled for friends with benefits and nothing more, but Leon brought something out of him. Something that made James feel like he would be upset to see him with someone else or feel upset that his intimacy wasn’t with him. To be honest, James was surprised that Leon wanted to see him again, especially in an instance that didn’t revolve around sex. James tried to speak, fumbling over his words, but eventually managed to mutter something out.
“Wh…When? Where?”
Leon cocks a brow. “I don’t know.” He chuckles. “Didn’t think I’d get this far.”
James looks away, trying to process the question. Leon brings him back by cupping his cheek.
“We don’t have to do anything crazy,” Leon says, giving his cheek a gentle pat. “Hell, I’d take you out for a slice of pizza.”
James smiled at that. It made him afraid to think of doing something date like in a high standard place. He wasn’t the fancy type, and he sure as hell wasn’t the type to dress fancy. Jeans and a t-shirt, that’s about it.
“I uh, do like pizza,” James says with a bit of a laugh.
Leon smiles. “Alright, it’s a date then.”
James’ heart raced hearing that, but it felt like a good thing. Almost like excitement with a new crush. That’s essentially what it was, honestly; and that made James feel good.
“It’s a date.”